Sunday, August 14, 2005
School tomorrow.how fun!Highly annoying that i cannot blog on MY BLOG! haha.okay this is my blog too..SUPER IRRITATING!You have no right to hack my password OKAY? know your limits can?U live your life i live mine, can? I don't bother you, you don't bother me. I blog what i like,and you have no right to interfere!Its my life okay? If you are so free, go do things that are more worthwhile? And stay out of things that you shouldn't stick your nose into.Well, if you so happen to have found this one too, let me tell you something.STAY AWAY! you are NOT welcome here.NOT AT ALL!I am getting pretty sick and tired of your ways. I do not know why you are doing all these. But you are getting to much okay? Anyway..i shouldn't waste any of my time typing this and getting irritated over you two. I have much better things to do and other things to make me happy...just to end off. You both should go get your own life too. Go do things that are profitable. And stop you nonsense.I mean it. Don't go too far. I hope you will have happy lives too.
hope_'
9:27 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Okay.so what exactly is the point of having another blog?nevermind..forget it.I am just tired.and i don't really want to bother about it.This is suppose to be a place for me to just be able to pour out my feelings.But obviously i can't do that.Please just go away Okay?I don't want anything to do with you all.Why can't you leave me alone?Can't i live my own life?Is it so tough to leave me alone?
hope_'
10:02 PM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
So troubled..hurt..tired..all messed up again..i don't know what to say anymore..i want to let go..I should let go..i must let go...u never existed..why must everything happen at the same time always..too much for me to handle.I just so badly didn't want it to be you..i just don't understand what all these is about?I was so hoping so praying it wasn't u.but i guess we were once again right. Why go to such an extent?Why do it..n then give such a stupid excuse to why u did it?can u go kill someone and say..i was feeling crazy that night?Somethings cannot be solve just by u telling the person..i was feeling crazy.U just can't do that. U have to stop doing it.Do you have any idea how far u are going on this?How many people u are hurting?I give up..i have been sitting here.thinking of how to type it all out.But no, i can't think of how to put it in words.I give up.for everything..there is an excuse isnt there? Nevermind..its over.Lets leave it there.Haha..HELLO jeremias..what so juicy about it?haha..funny guy!anyway.met melly to have pasta the other day.and finally got to eat what i wanted to eat!so yay!haha..n dominic n the rest were there..haha..funny pple.went out again with melly and jerey..and then dominic n nic joined us.yep..FUNFUN!!lalalal..Okay...half day sch today..didnt stay through..i just had to had to get out of school.lalalai haven't slept in 24hrs.or eaten in 24hrs.but i m not hungry or tired.which is weird..
hope_'
3:48 PM
Everything is so confusing.I am in a mess?I can't seem to figure it out.It wasn't suppose to be like that.Maybe because i know this isn't the way it should be. Everytime i am just about to get it right again..U appear.I see you.I get all lost again. I read what you wrote, and it meant so much.There was so much to it..though it wasn't very long. But maybe its time to let it all go..Okay..ignore what was above.just some thoughts..I wonder..how can someone just go judge someone else on her tagboard and complain about what the person is blogging about on HER OWN blog.If you are not happy with it..don't read it. I wish whoever the two of you are will just leave her alone? Its really none of your business to go and judge her base on what u think.Cause what you think might not be right.And to make yourself sound so good and go and scold another person..whats that about?And the thought which i hate is..it might just be who i think it is that is writing all these tags. I don't want it to be the both of you. I truly hope it isn't.this whole situation is sad. But i have put it aside..and i want to leave it as that. We have tried to settle it before mths back.but it didn't work out.You just started it out again. It has been going on for so long.and to be honest,I am a much much happier person now that i have left it aside.What will be your purpose of opening it up again. Not everything can be forgotten just by saying..Lets forget it..start all over again. Sometimes the hurt has to be dwelt with first.But i can say that for us, we have forgiven..but it just can't go back to that again. Just like when a glass breaks..if when you glue it back..it will never be that original condition as when you first bought it. This whole thing use to matter to me so much, to them too. But now, its just something of the past. It is something i have chosen to leave behind.Also..for their issue,leave it to them to settle.Its between them. Not the rest of us.Let them resolve it on their own.And don't comment on smth that doesn't involve you. What is your point in doing that? And do not pull someone else into the whole thing.You claim he has a part in it.You claim he started it.You claim he is one of the main factors.But if you really think through it again, is he really a main factor? You say we are building a big wall..and making it impossible for you all to climb over.But who was the wall really built by? We have been trying to tear it down, but you built it higher.Now you are just climbing over smth that was place there by you.The obstacle was put there by you all. You are always trying to push the blame on someone else. In many situations, we all have seen how much value this whole friendship has. You all say you are tired.We are too. Thats why we are just leaving it. Because we have tried.we tried so hard. We even tried to pretend that nothing was going on.And just hoping it will stop on its own.but it never did. I have moved on already. Dwelt with all the hurt that i use to feel. I have learnt to let go.
Mellymelly!take care girl!!:) *hugs*
hope_'
1:05 AM
Saturday, July 30, 2005
OKay.time for some UPDATES!haha..what an eventful week.lets start with last weekend?haha.Went for PHS funfair with melly. funfun..did a henna..and i am so thankful its almost good.it looks lyke a disease for some reason.haha..lyke rashes as phil says. Was there for almost the whole afternoon.yep..saw some bands..which we goood!haha..like where's jamie and tainted friday.The vocals were good..and tainted friday's accoustic was GREAT!!!!lalala..then melly's friends came.haha..they went crazy.haha.
Monday-sch is abit crazy..hmm..Corban came back from HK.he flew there just to watch the ManU vs Hk match.haha..SO RICH!haha.had guitar.to make up for those lessons we lost when we were training. Had a quick one..and then ms.Joli let me off to go PS with melly!haha..thanks gurl for coming with me!help me to choose present:D walk the whole place and finally landed up at e first stall we walked into.haha..We went crazy at this store selling earrings which we really cheap!haha..nicenice! AFter tt went to city hall to have dinner........and then went to watch sharleen's concert at the Esplanade.yep...it was niceeeeee! I had fun!haha.And i met yanyi!haha..after lyke almost 4yrs?yep..tt was AWESOME!
Tues-HAd guitar again..COuld have started earlier,but Ms.joli was talking to the guys cause they go and changed the toilet signs.Haha..learned more chords!haha.yay!!then ms Joli let me off early again..cause melly and jerey were waiting for me..went to watch Fantastic Four with them..COrban was supposed to go but then he had wanted to go home and sleep.Yep..it was nicee...jerey got the movie time wrong.so it was later than expected.then had to rushrushrush home after that.
Wed-Melly..jerey and i ran away from the pool.haha..Okay.i didnt really run..cause i don't have to stay..but i guess it was considered running.cause i was suppose to be there.Oh..bah!its complicating.haha.then Mrs.L called melly's hp..she didnt answer..then her dad called and wanted her to go back to e pool n say tt we were leaving and then leave again..lyke she will let us go once we go back.Anyhows...went to the Macs near melly's house..Sat there and ate and talk..then walked down to see jerey's grandmother's house..then walked back to melly's house..and what goood timing..melly's dad was coming round the corner.so we all dashed to get out of sight.haha..then jerey and i turned into e road..then he took my guitar.cause i couldnt run with it.haha..then i decided to follow melly.so i left him there.haha..then later her dad turned into the road..saw jerey and asked him what he was doing there.haha.yep..then after tt had to go home..thinking we were all in trouble..haha..except jerey lAH. nvm..mrs.L called me at night..and talk for quite awhile..arh!so nonsenseeeeeeeeee!then after tt i called melly..talked with her and jerey.Baaaaaah..haha..didnt get any of my hw done..cause i was too pissed off.
THurs-got to sch..jerey and i were walking up..first one we saw was her.
SHe gave a very erm....emotional devotion?yep..then she dismissed us for breakfast.then we thought dun need to stay.but then she called the three of us back.SSHe let jerey off pretty easily with a few words.Then she talked to me and melly.but then i supposed she realize tt she wouldnt get anywhere that way.So she sent me out.and talked for almost an hour with melly..making her go with out breakfast!BOO!Okay..all the events tt took place after this isnt meant to be publish.haha.maybe another day when i know how to put it into words i will.
lalala......ANyway!loves u melly!and ms Joli!!u guys are the best!the best!:D
OKay....going townnnnn with melly now.....
hope_'
3:59 PM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
And i don't know what is true anymore..I don't know what to believe anymore.It all seems so fake.I mean..u keep explaining..but then it all starts again..so whats the point.It seems like it will all end back up where it was. I mean..what is your real point in doing all thesE? Bringing everything up?and do what?just cause she is gone and u need some stand in..so we are the ones.now its us? It doesn't work anymore.I m not oblivious to whats happening around me u know.I m not tt blur. arh..whatever..i m tired..we all are..its like war.BAh!
Arh..i m sick again.man...air con was so cold,the windows were frosting up.i was having slight fever in sch.But thank God i lasted thru the day.TEsts tmr!!!how exciting..tired tired..soso tired.
oh yah!HELLO JEREMIAAAAAAAAS!haha..Hello Matt!:D
hope_'
10:06 PM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
And i am still praying each day everything will get better. Sometimes i know it will be quite impossible.and everything will never get there. Never be what it was. It scares me.You scare me.It was never this way. Everything has just gone down hill tt i am shocked. So shocked. You ruined my special day.But tts okay.Its all over..i shall let it go.
And lately..it all just doesnt matter so much to me anymore. Talking to MJ made me feel so light.and the joy tt i lost for a long long time is slowly coming back.bit by bit.and i am thankful.thankful that despite all these things happening..i m not as hurt as before.maybe i m immuned to it.Maybe we are all coming from different points here.but the way its going..maybe we need to talk it over.But at this point,its hard,its difficult.I don't know what to say anymore.All i can do is keep praying.
dear girl! dont be sad!its not you okay!its not what u do.Its not you! Dont let it affect u any more okay. Smile! Dont let this whole thing affect u and ur enthu attitude.your joy!let it stay with you! ALWAYS! And we will make him come back too okay!haha..
love you loads!!! I say a lil prayer for you:)
On a happier note.....haha..i m coming back to being hyper and crazy..haha...air cons in sch too!yay!haha..so niceeeeee!haha.i can concentrate better now tt the classrooms arent so stuffy n hot! lalala.
starting my swimming next mth..no more running for me for awhile..though i did run today..but now my leg is abit crazy.Oh well.....lalala.it was worth it!Everyone did AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha..lalalala
hmmmmmm.guitar is good..not taking badminton for now.Too many.I wanna concentrate on the ones i am doing.=)
well.off to do my journal.Journal has been doing me good.Helping me thru each day also.lalala
ohohohohoh......i know u will read this soooooooo: THANK YOU Aaron for the chocolates!haha.i didn't give them away okay!!!!i was just joking=) and THANK you shar and jema for the the the..rock?no..stones!haha..thank you!=)
hope_'
10:07 PM
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
HELLO!!=) hello jeremias!haha.i m hyper!okay....schschschschsch! where should i start?okay..new sch is okay..more space i guess..i do miss bishan!anyways....no air con at the moment so the classrooms are pretty hot..but hopefully they will get them sooon.the best place is media room..the only other place where there is the air con besides the assembly place.NEw classes...hurmpf...haha..so sad..but its okay!but i want miss joli in our class!haha..so use to having her already...hurmpf!we got mrs L.lalalalala...haha..okay, i guess i shouldnt complain..its been pretty okay so far.just have to be superduper careful!but we have miss hu.shes funny.she always tells me she doesnt know n starts smiling.yay!i m not ranting!haha..hmmmm...we got a NEW caterer!haha..yay!!!happyhappy!but no more miss rachael..tts sad!anyway..mrs L is in charge of the food n washing the dishes..which is smth new.we have teams now!lala..i have a pretty nice team..Chris..Emman..Alicia n Gabriel.Emman is my asst leader.WHich is nice.WOman is shirl's asst leader..and tt makes her group funny. COrban n melly are working together again.which is really interesting.haha..without melly the group cant function. The two new gurls..are so lil and cute!haha..esp the younger one...shes sosososososososo minature!very cute! Melly is still siccccccck!Dengue fever!get welll!but sadly shes not in my claaaaaaaass!not that it makes a diff with all the new rules!haha.i guess some of the rules are goodgood.not all!we have a student handbook now..and some code of honor pledge we had to sign.About all the kinda behavior we are not to be involved in.some of which is funny.Ohoh!new tie!bah..haha..some of us had to change to PINK ties..okay they arent pink..they are maroon!haiz..but our uniform will be changing again..but not for now..so no skirts yet!which is good i guess!haha..but jeans is rather hot.anyhows..corban treated a few of us to PIzza hut on monday!haha.thanks..yummy yummy! had training today!hmmmmmmm.......mrs B wants our timing to cut down even farther..haha..crap!haha..training was tiring.but it was good.yay!no training tmr!haha.....can leave early i think..wheeeee!well..in all i m tired..but i m HAPPY!haha
hope_'
9:41 PM
