28.9.05
Plenty of Problems
Ok... I'm going to use blogging as a way of relieving stress and to let you know if you're interested my problems. I'll be reading all e blogs which i have links to too also with all its old entries.
I have plenty of problems/issues that i need to solve and soon. As you can easily see i have missed out a whole month of blogging in August. That is an obvious indication of a lack of motivation. In a right sense i should be trying to update my dear friends about me.. but i didn't. And i havn't changed my blogskin at this post.
I find that rather disturbing and i wondered about the cause. Some related/unrelated issues i have now.
1)First and foremost is procrastination. It has developed into a monster over this one year plus. Like what i said i allow myself to be absorbed by less important things like gaming and neglect other things like communicating with my friends, revising some of my academic knowledge and learning new ones and touch up on my spiritual aspect.
2)I've grown too comfortable doing nothing(significant at least) with my life. Yes i would force anyone to agree with me that NSF in a COMBAT vocation is rather disruptive to anything concrete you might want to get done. Your own free time are really only the weekends. And then you're back in camp again doing the most menial of jobs. This is partly because of my conformation to NSF lifestyle so that it won't be such a pain..but the numbing effects is what i really need to shake off.
3)Despite my certain resolve to be single and thus have a peace of mind, i can't really let go of a certain someone and she of me. But after some analysing the situation we can't really be an item anymore and thats a problem. This is all quite confusing, really...although its not a very urgent that it be solved.
4)A friendship i feel has gone soured. At least to me. My tolerance level is really i dare to say quite high for people normally..But 'you' have been on it(my nerve) way too often and in the worst possible way(because you're displaying a behaviour that i CANNOT really tolerate from anyone actually).
5)A bad temper. Although i might seem very nice and all and i think i have a high tolerance level, don't you think why i have such a need for a practice of tolerance? Its because i have a bad temper in a way. There are some things i cannot Forgive...like a lack of respect. I mean...even to a stranger you Should have a minimal level of respect and courtesy...but to a friend you do not have? At least i cannot detect it lah ok...if you even show it and thats where it ALL GOES DOWNHILL in my head.(wrt to 4). And under prolonged stress i tend to (yikes) implode then explode...erm...But after my reflecting i realised only things in the army can easily do that to me. I'm quite cool with everything else really.(unless i'm wrong..if i am then i'll discuss this again.)
*phew* I feel much better now. Anyway since i bother to post this out i'm on the mend. I really have to work/resolve some of the above before i even ORD which is in 23 weeks. Thats not very long and is beggining to cause me some anxiety. I gotta sort out myself seriously...hmm.. >.<
MuSiNgS Cerebrated @ |23:34|
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13.9.05
Maple Maple and Battleon
yikes...spend all my online time gaming~!!! Sometimes i would think of something to publish...
then i'll go like... "aiyah maybe i should just spend a little more time leveling(up my char)..."
So paiseh for disappearing to Victoria Island for so long...
These few weeks i've been...protecting the Airpork...changi airport~!! =p
Nothing much really...just look out for anything out of place. Hmm.. my tag board hasn't loaded by now.
Look at people-tourists ah, pretty gals lah, big ang mo-s giving me a smile..or a smirk, children sounding their 'Harlow~!, harlow?" (cause i'm supposed to look serious, can't smile).
child:"Wah! see! police!! hmm? how come got army one?"
parent:"they're here to protect us from baddies, terrorists lah."
Foreign parents pulling their children to one side hushing them and saying:
"Look at those guns, they're soldiers keep away from them."
Well...i don't think i look that threatening being quite tired...maybe its my rifle.
(what..wait theres something wrong with my tag board.) >.<
MuSiNgS Cerebrated @ |11:22|
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