Reflections of a School Counselor

Remember how I was all excited to jump back into blogging and then another month and a half went by with nothing?  Oh yes.  Well here I am… ready to roll.  I just submitted a "reflection" paper for my school counseling internship class.  Each week we just submit a 350 word page (mine always go longer, oops) explaining an experience or how we've grown as a professional over the past week.  I just submitted my assignment and thought, "Hmmm… that could make a good blog post."  So here it is!

           It has been a good week and I have felt very useful and productive in my counseling role.  I could write about a lot of things, but a general overlying thought is the decision to start my career in a high school or middle school setting. This week my supervisor informed me of the possibility of one of the counselors retiring at a nearby middle school, which would be an obvious job opening for the fall.  She wanted to give me a heads up but told me how much she hopes I can stay at American Fork High next year.  At this point there is not a full-time counselor position available, but they could maybe put a few other responsibilities in place to create a half teacher/half counselor position (thus full-time).  The conversation got my wheels turning and I really just need to decide if I want to dig in my heels and do everything I can to stay at AF High, or embrace the option of a new setting. 

           

I really have no idea what I want to do.

            Today, just as I was getting ready to call a bunch of students down to tackle one of my other responsibilities, I had three students come in that wanted to talk to me.  Clearly they had been crying, and it was right after lunch—when most of the drama takes place.  I invited them into my office and spent the rest of the period listening, supporting, and talking with them.  It was a good experience because I don’t get a lot of “responsive” service opportunities as the scholarship counselor, but I do have students who feel comfortable coming to me, rather than their assigned counselor.  I appreciate that.  There were tears shed and emotions all over my office, but I think they were all good and feeling better by the end of our discussion. 

            However, as I sat there with three emotional girls in front of me, I thought, “This is what I will deal with every day as a middle school counselor.”  It was a very clear picture of what the majority of my time would be utilized for.  Social problems.  Girl drama.  Friend issues.  Problems at home.  I contrasted that thought to my responsibilities with college preparation and scholarships and how much I do enjoy providing new resources, knowledge, and experiences to students and parents.  Which do I enjoy more?  Where do I have more skills and confidence?  I don’t have the answer yet but I will continue to reflect and filter through my thoughts and feelings.

            Today, I think I choose to be a high school counselor.

Ta-daaaa!  Those are my thoughts for the day.  Every day is different as a school counselor, and I really like that.  You can't predict who is going to walk through the door or what the next question will be.  Some take 20 seconds to resolve.  Some take an hour or more.  Some you have no idea what to do.  I am still very much learning as I go along, but this internship is awesome and I am loving it so far.

Still Alive...

Wow.  In the last 7 months I have only posted TWICE on this blog.  Where has the time gone?!  I decided I wanted to get back into writing here, regardless of who reads it.  My mind is usually spinning with thoughts and ideas and I might as well get them down somewhere.

I guess we shouldn't be surprised that I haven't written in my journal for over 3 months.  That's not like me either!  I am a huge believer of journals and love to go back and read about my ridiculous life.  I have re-committed myself to write in my journal at least once a week.  Sundays are always good for that.  When I went home to PA last week I made it a goal to bring back the rest of my journals.  I came back with 5 or 6 large-size hardback journals, which I kept from my last year in high school into my adventures at BYU.  Those were crazy times.  Friends, crushes, late nights, school, road trips… the good life.  I guess not much has changed, other than less dating stories. :)

This will be a post of randomness.  Feel free to stop reading at any moment.

Airports.

You know what I love most about airports?  Snacks.  I love checking in, going through security, finding my gate, and then wandering around to look for the food options.  I love airport mornings, especially, because I can usually find a good egg & cheese bagel or croissant breakfast sandwich.  Yum.  On my most recent flight, which was in the afternoon, I got a super long Auntie Anne's pretzel-wrapped hotdog right before my flight.  I only had time to eat a few bites so I brought it on the plane with me.  I could just imagine the thoughts going through the head of the person on either side of me-- "Seriously?  She's eating a hotdog on the plane?  I'm going to barf."  But I did it anyway.  I pulled out my hotdog wrapped in foil and ate some sneaky bites here and there.  Even thought it wasn't warm or fresh anymore… it was still a delicious snack. :)

Sidenote:  There were no crying babies on that plane ride.  Miracle.

Guitar lessons.

I started teaching guitar lessons in August.  I am loving it and look forward to acquiring more students in the near future.  I don't claim to be a professional guitar player, but I do love playing, and love to help others learn.  This is something I attempted to implement at the Boys & Girls Club but it was always so crazy and nearly impossible to give individual attention to kids.  Now that I can sit down for 30 minutes one-on-one with someone… it is awesome.  It's so exciting to go from plucking simple notes of "Ode to Joy"… to playing chords and singing normal songs.  Yay!  I prefer to teach lessons in the student's home but have taught some in my apartment as well.  The holidays make it fun and I love the cheesiness of strumming chords to "Jingle Bells" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"… along with a lovely picking version of "Silent Night."  I love that I have been able to make music a more prominent part of my life.

Chick-Fil-A.

I'm totally obsessed.  There I go talking about food again…

Books & Movies.

I love a good movie inspired by the original book.  I'm not super critical about the whole "Ohhh the movie didn't follow the book" kind of argument.  I really enjoy reading and get lost in my world of images, characters, emotions, and adventures.  And then I'm always excited to see how the movie producers make that book come alive.  You know the books:  Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Twilight, The Help, Ender's Game, etc.  I always want to read the book first before spoiling my imagination with the movie version, but I end up really liking both.  Let's be honest though-- the book is usually better than the movie! Next on the list is "The Book Thief."  I didn't even know this was a movie until I saw the previews for "Catching Fire."  And I thought, "Crap, now I need to hurry and read that book before I see the movie!"  I've had it for a year but just haven't read it yet.  Time to get busy.  :)

iPhone5s.

I love my phone and don't know how I lived without it.  Texting.  Instagram.  E-mail.  Facebook.  It's perfect.  I have a bright pink case-- which is totally unlike me-- but it makes me happy.

Winter.

I love snowboarding and even enjoy skiing.  I love wearing hoodies and coats and sweats and warm clothes.  However, I am a huge wimp in the cold weather.   I will not go snowboarding if it's super windy and cold because that's just miserable.  I shoveled the snow off my grandma's driveway yesterday while listening to music and it was peaceful and wonderful.  So overall, I'm a fan of winter and don't mind the snow.  Just don't make me stand outside in weather below 40.  :)

Anyway… those are my thoughts for now.  I promise my posts will be a little more purposeful in the future. I just wanted to make my presence known.  Turns out, I'm still alive!

Once upon a time I finally got an iPhone.  My life is forever changed and I LOVE IT!!!  I've had it for about 2 months and I am constantly using this little device for social, work, church, school... EVERYTHING! :)

I am so happy with my iPhone.

And I have a bright pink Otterbox case for it.

PINK??!  yep.  Pink.

I can finally download apps and connect with the rest of the world.

I am MOST OBSESSED with these 2 apps:

I love being able to take pics and post them within just a few seconds!  Love it.

I also love Snapchat.  It's so random and I love being creative.

Always a fun surprise when someone sends me a snapchat. :)

These are some other apps I use a lot:

I love text messages!!!

To make creative picture collages for instagram

I'm not a huge "gamer" but I love playing this with people I know. :)

Facebook!  Quick and easy.

Gotta love random music videos.

LDS Gospel Library.  I love that you can look up everything!  Scriptures, talks, etc.

I love "To Do" lists... why not keep one on my phone?  :)

Vine is a video app that loops 6 second videos.  I'm not totally hooked on this one,

 but every now and then I'll find funny videos and watch them over and over again.  

So anyway... that's my life in a nutshell. 

 I don't have a ridiculous amount of apps... nor do I want them.  For now.

Maybe down the road I'll keep adding more and more...

I love my phone.

I love taking pictures.

I love texting.

I love music.

I love it all!

*CHEERS*

Guess Who Built a Garden?

Okay okay... I can't take much credit for this whole garden thing because it totally wasn't my idea.  This is Cassity's baby but I helped, so I get to claim a part of it.  At least the corner with the green beans because I'll totally eat those. :)

So here's how it all happened.

A friend in our ward told Cassity she had a 4x4 garden box that she wasn't using, and did Cass want to use it?  Of course!  So it's like she's "renting" the space, only it's free.  This is how we spent the majority of our Saturday over Memorial Day weekend, and Cass had it all planned out.  She purchased seeds ahead of time, and that day we took a trip to Smith's and Lowes to get transfer plants, compost, soil, and twine.

I always think it's funny when I accompany Cassity to Lowes because I feel like a child.  It reminds me of when us kids used to go to Home Depot with my dad-- such a manly store!  Seems like the men always love to observe every little hammer and nail and wander way too slow up each aisle.  But I like those memories I have with my dad.  And I like the smell of wood!  Cassity did a good job walking fast and getting right down to business, and I was delighted there was a live popcorn machine there to keep me busy and content. :)

So we began the big project around 1:00pm and got started on the little garden box, located on the side of our friend's driveway.

Step 1:  Shovel out the rocks until you have just dirt and ground cover.  Harder than it looks!!

Step 2:  Add a mixture of compost and gardening soil.  I liked this part!  I felt like I was working on a farm because it smelled like cow manure.  I got to do the job with the mini pitchfork of mixing it all together.

Beautiful!

Step 3:  Measure the box into 16 squares and pin down the twine in the appropriate places.  This created little mini garden plots for each individual vegetable.

I laughed at Cass for buying the "dazzling pink" twine from Lowes. Haha.  She would.  :)

Step 4:  Plant the vegetables!  The transfer plants were fun and easy.  However, some of the seeds said "pre-soak" on the package and we had no idea for how long.  So we let various seeds sit in tiny bowls of water while we prepped the soil.  I guess we'll see if they actually grow or not.

We planted peppers, carrots, beans, cantaloupe, cucumbers, tomatoes, swiss chard, and a lettuce.

Step 5:  Water the little baby vegetables and feel proud of yourselves!!!

TOTAL PROJECT TIME:  4 hours... not bad! :)

So now Cassity has a new little pet-- the garden-- and she makes sure to water it every day and check up on it.  We should give it a name!  Our friends joked about us getting little garden trinkets and statues to dress it up.  Perhaps Cass can throw a gnome in there. :)  

This is a new thing for me.  Growing up, we always had tomatoes and strawberries and probably other things growing, but I've never been much of a "fresh garden produce" kind of person.  Now I wish I would have paid more attention, and I admire my parents for working so hard to plant our family gardens. :) 

Stay tuned for little garden updates!

From BYU Sports Camps to Football, Family, and Fame!

I have a tendency to ramble, so I'm going to try to keep this short, simple, and sweet.  I'll check back at the end to see if I was actually able to do this:    *AHEM* ....

BYU SPORTS CAMPS

In 2001 I had one of the best summers of my life; I was a BYU Sports Camp Counselor.  After working at the Boys & Girls Club in Provo, and spending a summer at a Boy Scout Camp, this was my first job-related interaction working with teens.  I absolutely LOVED it, and it was a huge turning point in the focus of my career.  I have loved working with teens ever since.

Anyone who has heard me talk about BYU Sports Camps should recognize 2 of my favorite campers:  Annie and Chanel.  They were in high school and were complete studs when it came to sports.  Both came for the soccer camp, and Annie returned later in the summer for a volleyball camp.  I developed immediate connections with these girls (and many others that summer), but I became like a big sister to Annie and Chanel.  At different times, both came to visit me at BYU later on, and we have kept in touch over the years.

Annie went on to play volleyball at BYU, and Chanel successfully went up to Utah State on a soccer scholarship.  I cherished my memories with these kids and always considered them (and still do) my "little campers."  When I met Chanel, she was 16 and we talked about everything, including her high school boyfriend-- Eric, family, church questions, and sports.  I tried to help her out however I could and always wanted to make her happy.  Her mom was supportive of our "sister friendship" and I often kept in touch with her mom over the years as well.

ERIC WEDDLE

Chanel's high school sweetheart, Eric Weddle, was eventually recruited to play football at the University of Utah.  They were no longer dating and I remember the struggles Chanel had through some of those days, but her mom was always hopeful that she and Eric would end up together.  During his time at the U, Eric became close to many of his teammates and eventually was baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Chanel had definitely planted an LDS seed during their high school days, but did not have a large part in his conversion.  She was grateful he joined the Church and was happy to attend his baptism.  A while later, they became acquainted again, eventually started dating, and finally got married.  *YAY!!!*  I had met Eric a few times when he was younger and was always struck by how polite and handsome he was!  It was quite the long love story and I'm so happy their paths crossed again and Chanel and Eric were married in the San Diego temple.

I loved watching Eric play football.  He was amazing.  I am a complete BYU Cougar fan through and through and feel the boiling rivalry anytime the University of Utah comes around.  While Eric was playing for the U, I had already graduated from BYU and was living at home in Pennsylvania.  It was common for my parents to catch me watching a U of U football game on TV, which I'm sure made them confused and suspicious.  I always tried to catch glimpses of Eric because he was an amazing player, and I loved knowing a little of his background.  The only time I have ever watched a U of U football game and secretly hoped they would win was when Eric was playing.  But of course, when it comes to BYU vs. U of U, I am always hoping for BLUE to take the victory.

YEARS LATER...

Years went by, I went on a mission, and eventually took a trip out to San Diego, CA when my mission president and his wife came home, July 2009.  Their hometown was near San Diego.  At that point, Eric Weddle had been drafted to the Chargers and he and Chanel were living in San Diego.  Chanel had just barely given birth to their 2nd child, a little boy, and I was delighted to visit them for a few minutes while I was down there.

I couldn't believe my "little camper" was already married in the temple, with 2 children, an amazing husband, an exciting life, and a beautiful home.  What a little grown-up!  I have been able to cross paths with Chanel in Utah on a few different occasions, and although it is never for very long, it always feels the same-- fun-loving, full of laughter, and happy.  I love this girl.

I have enjoyed watching Eric play with the Chargers, and always hope they will beat their opponents.  I would often text Chanel after a good game or send her a message acknowledging some amazing play he made.  It's crazy to think she's right there at the game in the thick of the chaos... just there to support her talented husband! :)  

MY COUSIN-- TRENT TOONE

I love my cousin Trent.  He is one of my favorites because he is so easy to talk to-- always making us laugh and fun to be around.  At a family get-together a few years ago, he was talking about his work (he's been a journalist for Deseret News and other sources) and mentioned he was working on a story with Eric Weddle.  I immediately responded with, "What?!  I know Eric! I'm good friends with his wife!"  Trent responded, "Chanel??  Yeah,  she's great.  I just spent the weekend with them in San Diego."  WHAT?!  Long story short... Trent had started writing a book about Eric's story, including his family, football, conversion story, etc.  What a crazy small world!  I was excited to tell Trent about my connection to Chanel and how I really loved both of them.  I was so excited there was actually going to be a book about their life together!  

Trent continued to work on the book and I kept tabs on Chanel to see how everything was going.  Just recently, she sent me a message asking if I had any feedback on the book. I didn't know it had already come out and I was SOOOO excited to finally read it!  I immediately went to Deseret Book, went straight to the biography section, and there it was:

Oh snap.  It's for REAL!  My first thought:  What a stud!!!  My second thought:  Trent's name is on the cover-- that's awesome!!!  I bought the book-- proud to be a fan-- and started reading as soon as I got back in the car.  I read it in small spurts whenever I got a chance and basically told Cassity a play-by-play as I read through his life adventures.  Lots of funny experiences, inspiring moments, adversity, love story moments with Chanel, conversion story.... it's all in there!  I loved it.  Trent is an amazing writer, and I love that he was able to embrace this amazing opportunity!

BOOK SIGNING IN UTAH!

A week before Eric came out to Utah, Chanel let me know he was coming to do various book signing events with Trent.  Yay!!!  I looked forward to seeing them-- not only because it had been a few years since we'd crossed paths-- but because I felt like I knew them so much better after reading the book!  Even details about Chanel's life that I never knew before... she is just as much of a stud as Eric.  Impressive people!  I planned to go to the book signing in Sugar House at the Barnes & Noble and I'm so glad Cassity joined me. She had heard me talk so much about the book, she bought 9 copies of the book to get signed for family and friends. Ha!  :)  We joined the line of fans in the store and eventually got to chat with Trent and Eric while we held up the line and got our books signed.  It was a fun and joyful moment and we laughed, hugged, and took pictures!  

I even wore red to support the cause.  That's a big deal!

Even with all the excitement of talking to Eric and congratulating him and Trent on their book, I was most looking forward to visiting with Chanel.  She is such a ball of sunshine-- always seems happy, even if she's really not.  She has a huge contagious smile and makes me laugh all the time.

I loved talking with her and telling Cassity funny stories about our days at Sports Camp together.  I brought up some of the random memories I had and Chanel knew exactly what I was going to say.  For as little as I have seen Chanel over the past few years, I still care about her so much and want her to be happy!  I feel that "big sister" stewardship over her and I'm so proud of her.  She has remained strong in the gospel and never wavered from living up to her personal standards.  She is an amazing wife, friend, and mother and continues to grow and excel in her own ways as an athlete.  I really loved our little visit at Barnes & Noble and felt so uplifted and happy afterward.  An extra bonus was seeing Chanel's friend, Samantha, who I had met a few times back when they were in high school.  I loved this random reunion of fun people!

Cassity and I went to the Utah Blaze game that night, where Eric and Trent were doing more book signings.  This time my sister Heather and her family joined us and took their turn meeting the guys and taking pictures. Eric was recognized at half-time and they presented a Utah Blaze jersey to him.  We stayed for half the game but it was pretty uneventful and decided to leave early.  No offense Blaze!  I prefer to stick with the NFL or college football. :)  So although I didn't get to see Chanel one last time, I was grateful for our interactions that day and felt happy about our visit.  

I don't know when I'll see them again but I hope it's sooner than later.  Eric is a nice, kind, down-to-earth guy and makes anyone feel comfortable around him.  I love that my cousin was able to connect with him and write this amazing book!  "No Excuses, No Regrets:  The Eric Weddle Story."  I would recommend it to anyone.  It even made me cry.  Just sayin'!!  

Here's to good friends, good football, good family, and good times. :)

p.s.  Remember how this was going to be short and simple?  I FAILED. 

Ulcerative Colitis: MY STORY (last part)

Here's a review if you want to catch up!

Part 1-- Utah & Diagnosis

Part 2-- Pennsylvania Years & Mission

Post-Mission Years... 2008-present

So here I am, living my happy little life.  There is a huge contrast to how things are now, compared to those first months back in 2002.  But even still, life isn't perfect and I certainly have my issues.

Ulcerative Colitis is very much a stress-induced condition.  So when I'm under a lot of pressure, nervous, or just plain stressed... my bowels do not respond well.  I experience this most when it came to running.  After not being able to run very well back in Pennsylvania, I decided to try it again after my mission.  I really wanted to be a runner and found that I loved the solitary stress-release of a good run.  The beginning of my running days started when ladies from my mission (WA) invited me to do a half-marathon back in one of my beloved mission areas. Yes!!!  So I trained and ran and was very disciplined and good.  Along this same time, I also joined in on some Redrock Relay races.  (team relays over 180 miles, where each person runs 3 times, varied distances, etc.)  I had a blast... but guess what?!  MAJOR POOP!!!  The stress of these relay weekends kicked my trash and I was literally living in the port-a-potty all weekend.  I've done 3 Redrock Relays and 1 Ragnar Relay... and as much as I love them and the random fun with other people, I don't think I can handle another weekend with so much diarrhea and stress.

There was one leg of the race that was so dang difficult I had to walk most of it.  2.1 miles... you would've thought it would've been a piece of cake!  But it was the highest altitude point of the race and I could barely breathe.  Combine that with serious bowel discomfort and YOU try to run!  I honestly thought I might explode in my pants, so I walked along-side the road, clenching as best as I could.  I frantically looked around to see if there was stray cardboard or something I could use-- just in case.  Then this truck full of fit college boys drives by (another team in the race) and they asked if I needed anything.  Without trying to impress or act like a lady at all, I blurted out, "Yeah!!  A bathroom!  I'm going to die!"  Nope... they couldn't help me with that one.  Worst run of my life.  2.1 miles.  Hated it.  (The rest of my portions of the race were awesome though).

Leavenworth, WA-- Half Marathon 2010

Logan,UT--> Park City, UT-- Ragnar Relay 2011

Moab, UT-- Redrock Relay 2011

Zions Nat'l Park, Utah-- Redrock Relay 2011

***One good thing is I can poop anywhere!  I have no problem just getting comfortable in any public bathroom and taking care of business.  The bathroom has become a second home to me.  I know some people refuse to use any sketchy bathroom, but I'm like "Eh... lemme sit down and stay awhile!***

Last year I decided to give my bowels a break and not invite so much stress into my life.  So I kind of "took a year off" from a good running groove, and now I'm paying for it! Totally out of shape. I'm trying to get back on track these days, but my knee hurts often, and now shin splints... so who knows if I'll be able to bounce back.  Hope so!

Remember how I have ulcerative colitis and should probably pay close attention to what I eat?  Yeah... about that... I am a terrible example of a strict follower of what to do.  I eat junk food out the wazoo and could care less what it does to me.  For so many years, I avoided many vegetables (assuming they gave me bad poop) and feasted on bread, pasta, and cereal.  I could eat that stuff for the rest of my life and never get sick of it!  Well one day, Cassity and I were in some health food store and it had a giant book of diagnoses and eating restrictions, etc.  Naturally, I looked up ulcerative colitis and was surprised to read that it actually suggested eating a lot of vegetables, and avoiding grains.  What?!  No way.  That can't be.

SIDENOTE:  Cassity has been telling me this for the past 2 years.  She is a believer of the "Paleo Diet" which focuses on fruits, vegetables, and meat... avoiding all grains and dairy.  (Apparently these are natural irritators of the bowels).  But as much as Cass has tried to help and give me eating tips, I never want to listen.

Bree = Stubborn

So in the last few years, my sister Heather has encountered some major health issues which make mine look like nothing.  But her struggles have reminded me that I should probably take better care of myself.  At times I have been motivated to eat very restricted as she does, just to empathize and support her efforts.  But I am TERRIBLE at sticking to it and really eating how I should.  I don't know how Heather does it, and I know she struggles daily because our family finds so much JOY in food.  :)  *sigh*  There must be more to life, right?  Well... that seems to be the only option for Heather at this point, because her eating options are very limited.  She's a great example to me.  Cass has been a great example as well, as she has explored various options to maintain her own health.  I can't say I will ever embrace the full paleo diet, but I do understand why and how Cass can be so die-hard in doing it.

So.  Recently... in the past few months, I have come down with some insane ITCHING.  It is often miserable.  A while back, I thought it was an allergy to bananas, as my torso, back, and stomach would itch like crazy and break into hives at night.  But that phase kind of passed.  Then, a few months ago, I started getting tiny little sores on my upper back or around my neck.  (Sounds gross, I know, but they just kind of show up as scabs already, and disappear eventually).  There came a point were I was so itchy one night I couldn't concentrate or sit still.  Cass suggested I take a bath in epson salt, which I did... and it was temporarily comforting, but I was just as itchy when I got out.

What is it?!  A food allergy?  It's definitely more than just dry skin.  And it's worse at night than during the day.  At this very moment, I am super itchy up around my neck and collar bone.  Often-times my back itches like crazy.... or my legs... or shoulders.  Who knows?!  I went to the doctor a month ago and she gave me some various creams to try to use to reduce itching.  I haven't seen much difference but will go back to the doctor in a few weeks and maybe we can try some testing or whatever to allergies.

So I randomly remembered a few weeks ago about my allergy to Sulfa.  I hadn't thought about this since before my mission!  But suddenly it clicked in my brain-- as itchy as I was that summer when I broke out into hives and discovered my allergy to Sulfa-- this same itchiness just might be a side effect to products I'm using, or food I'm eating with Sulfa.  You'd be surprised at how many random things contain any kind of ingredient with "sulfa" in it.  Lots of shampoos, detergents, etc.  And there is a long list of foods that are high in sulfa, so I am trying to avoid those now.  (Dates, grapes, dried fruit, and avocados are bad ones).  I found some good "sulfate-free" shampoo that seems to be treating me well, and I got new laundry detergent, body soap, and toothpaste that don't have sulfa in it.

Eh, I'm still itchy, but whatever.

About a month ago I got this sudden kick of desire to eat really well and cut out grains and dairy.  I just wanted to find out if I would truly feel a difference.  And you know what?  I DID feel better!  I even hated to admit it to myself (as stubborn as I am)... but it was true.  My poop was totally controlled and limited and normal.  :)  I ate a lot of bananas, apples, smoothies, butternut squash, avocados (until I discovered the Sulfa), sweet potatoes, celery & peanut butter, eggs, ground beef, fruit leathers, sweet peppers, salads, chicken, etc.  I was really surprised that I could cut out grains and dairy so quickly.  I literally just threw away all my cereal boxes-- which wasn't easy!!-- but it had to be done.

But here's the thing.  I would always eat really well Monday-Thursday... and then the weekend would come and *BAM!!!*  Bad eating would sneak in.  Then I'd re-commit on Monday... and then the weekend would hit again.  So with my 4-day good eating streaks and feeling good... you'd think I'd want to just stick it out and see how awesome I'd feel after a month of good eating... 2 months.... 3 months, etc. But here it is, the beginning of April, and I ate so much CANDY and junk over the weekend, it made me sick just thinking about it.  But you know what?!  For as much as I have "gone astray" in my attempts of good eating, I have not eaten any cereal or bought a gallon of milk.  That's pretty darn good.  I don't know what's worse-- a candy bar or a bowl of cereal :)  but whatever... I'm trying.

Kind of.

So I'm still itchy.  I'm out of shape.  And I feel kind of BLAH.  It's all one big cycle.  If I eat better and avoid the things I should avoid... maybe I won't itch so much.  And if I'm eating healthy, then I'll feel good.  And if I feel good, I'll want to exercise and be more active.  And if that happens, then my appearance will improve and I'll feel proud of myself.

Baby steps, right?

So that's where I'm at right now.  Ulcerative colitis and all, I function like any normal human... although I may take longer in the bathroom than some peeps.  I eat what I want, but I have desires to be smarter in what I take in.  I am more open-minded when it comes to learning from Cassity and accepting ideas and advice.

I am still the same 'ol me, but I'd like to think that I'm a better me already.

 I guess we'll see what happens!  Thanks for sharing in my story. :)

$5 Walmart DVD's... Addicted!

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