.: Letting Go :.

All this while you think that you can let it go....

you think you can be kind enough...."shut an eye" ....and let it go...so that this particular incident will stop bugging you...or perhaps burdening or hurting you....

but in fact...when you thought you really don't mind at all and had finally let it go....you actually had never...and you can't seem to let it go....

and when you found out that you had never let it go...."it" just keep bugging you....and had planted itself deep inside your heart....

Many times...our mind knows it...our mind clearly knows that it is the past....knows that it's all over already...and there's nothing to be worried about....cos you'd already got what you needed and wanted the most....

But....our Heart....sometimes does not tell us the same thing as our Mind does...cos deep down inside our heart.... in one hidden corner in our heart....we still can't let it go...and "it" still affect us...unconsciously....it still does...and when this hidden corner of our heart is being dug out....it hurts....a lot....really....it is really painful....and if there's second chance...i would rather it to be kept hidden forever.....

When will i really ever be able to let it go totally??....when only will i be truthful enough and say..."Yes...i really don't mind...anymore..it's the past already"....when can i really accept it that it's all the past??

I dunno....perhaps it take days...months...years....or even decades.....just hope that this day come soon.....so that the pain will subside soon.....

Quote: Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present....

Had this past spoil my present ???....or it had just only injured me??..........

.: Destiny :.

Humans....no maybe i should say "living things".. go through many different stages of life....

The path one person been through may not be what the others go through....

People always say....the end of this journey is the beginning of the other journey....

As for me...

Coming back from London...for good now...i'd taken a brand new path...started a new journey...not of my own...but with the one i love...and hopefully...both of us will walk along this journey together hand-in-hand...overcome everything together heart-with-heart...with joy, happiness, tears, love..............

We first met 2 years ago in London...we attended the same Masters Degree course at University of Westminster...the first time i noticed him was during the induction week...and we officially met each other during the course's introductory dinner on the River Thames Cruise....

.: P'Top & Sunnie...this is when we first met...officially :.

{actually had posted this pic before...in one of the earlier posts}

Both of us looked so different then....compared to now....in just 2 years...everything had changed...we started out to be just course-mates then...moved on to be 2 good friends...ended to be a pair of couple...and now....soul-mates....perhaps...this is wat we call "fate & destiny"....

i could still remember...when we first met...all that we know is..we are course-mates...my new friend from Bangkok...and later this new friend of mine had become my close friend...the person whom i go to whenever i need someone to talk to...from there...he had also become my companion in London especially when Chia is not free...he is the one who always accompany walking, eating and shopping around London...haha...we'd even become our course's topic of gossip....rumours went around our course as in whether are we couple??...hahha...of cos...not..we were just good frens...who enjoy the companionship of each other....hahaha....and finally....we graduated together....and with the rumours still going on....hahahaha.....

.: our graduation :.

perhaps it is true like wat people always say....the more the two-person stay together...the more the bonding will grow...and perhaps this is how our feelings for each other grow stronger by each day...however....neither of us take actions for the feelings we had inside....or maybe i should say...i din take any actions for the feelings i had for him....cos...inside me i know...one day...we will have to part....he will have to return to Bangkok one day...and i'll have to go back to KL too....i could still remember the day when Chia was with me at Heathrow airport sending him off...for his flight back to Bangkok...at that moment...all that was in my mind was..."when will i ever see him again??"..."will i be able to see him again??"...and i remember tears rolling down my cheeks like it will never end...that was one of the most heart-breaking moment for me in London....i remember...i told him before...knowing him is one of the best thing which had happened to me in London....and that separation was one of the worst....he was one of the best....and he was also one of the worst moments i had in London...perhaps this is called "destiny".......

after he went back to Bangkok....while i was still in London...i really thought that we will never meet again...though we still keep in touch via online...but we are thousands of miles apart....and we don't know when will we meet again...until...when i went back to KL....my parents allowed me to fly to Bangkok to visit him...this was really surprising...as my parents never allow me to travel alone...and this is the first time...i travel alone..and they allowed...perhaps it's like Chia said...dad n mom likes him a lot too...so tat's why they let me go...

from boarding into the plane...to the plane departed till the plane landed in Bangkok...all that was in my mind was...what should i say to him when i see him at the airport??...i was nervous....so when i first arrived at the airport in Bangkok...all i did was hurried to the immigration counters...collect my baggage and go meet him at the arrival hall....haha...i still remember he dressed up funnily standing there waiting for me at the arrival hall...without a word...all i did was walked straight to him...and hugged him....hahahaha....

.:at Amphawa Floating Market, Thailand:.

after a week in Bangkok...he went back to KL with me...to send me back home safely...and also to meet my parents again...he met my parents before when they came for my graduation...and surprisingly...both my parents...and my family like him a lot..i still remember before dad n mom fly off from London...mom told dad...if dad is lucky enough...he will be his son-in-law....and now...hehehe....yes..he is......

HE is a very loving hubby...who cares and concerns about me more than anyone in this world...besides my parents and family....he is also my big kid whom i need to take good care of...he is always so gentle towards me...he is always there to cheer me up to make me laugh when i was down...though sometimes he loves to bully me....he is the one i love dearly and deeply...

Love you Hubby....Muacks !!!!!

.: i hate Sunnie :.

have you ever tried looking at yourself in the mirror and ask "who is this ugly person"...and the more u look at the image reflected on the mirror...the more you hate it....well...I DO...and it is everytime i look in the mirror...since when??....i can't seem to recall the date....all i know...is...it had been way long ago...a few months back...and a few months had past....still....I DO hate the image i saw in the mirror....and hate more and more each time....

in London...i told myself..."Sunnie is ruined"...the Malaysian-Sunnie is gone since she is in London...and who did this to her??...ME!!....i ruined Sunnie...the one with the charms and everything i love about her....is now all gone...and me....me...me...i am the cause of it.....

now back in Malaysia...with all high hope that the Malaysian Sunnie will be back....but...in fact....NOPE...not at all...she seemed to had gone forever....her looks....her charms...her eyes...everything of her seemed to be had gone...except for her smile n laughter...which is somehow different from the past....whereby most of her family says...she seemed to be much more happier than the past...and seems to smile n laugh more at home....well...putting up smiles and laughters at home are the only way she can do to hide the depressed side of her....and these smiles and laughters...is the only thing that she can do to make her family being less worried bout her....

besides...since returning to Malaysia...her lifestyle had changed too....Sunnie whom once enjoy tasting different delicacies and cuisines and dishes is no longer here...she'd now turned into a semi-vegetarian..only eating vegetables..fruits..and fish or prawns...and the rest like chicken, pork, beef etc etc....is no longer in her menu...Sunnie whom used to enjoy sleeping for long hours...and can jus stay in bed the whole day....is gone too...in fact....herfamily who used to complained that she sleeps a lot now forced her to go to bed and sleep....Sunnie who is not so much of a morning person...now had changed too....waking up at 7.30am daily...7 times a week...to do jogging....which she could not do in the past due to her leg injuries...or to go swimming...which she could do too in the past due to her ear injuries...and these had been going on for the full 2 weeks since she is home....BUT...how long more can she put all these up??...how long more can she be committed and determined in doing all these??...how much more commitment and determination does she still have??

with all these changes in her lifestyle...nothing in her body had changed at all...no results seemed to show up too...and i really hate this...hate it so much....there are times...i really wanna to just give up...but....but....i can't...all that i could think of now is..to continue with this...and hate myself more each time... in the past...no matter how much i hated myself....there is still a little part of me that i would still love...but now....NONE...there's nothing left in me..nothing left in Sunnie which i could love anymore....and it's all not with HATRED...why??...i dunno....how it turned out this way??...i dunno....wat can i do ??...i dunno....when will this end??...i dunno.......i dunno i dunno i dunno ...........................................................

.:Cherish Life & Love:.

life is fragile....
life is to be appreciated and cherished...
not to be made fun and played with...
and definitely not to be wasted..........

love is a feeling...
love can be blind...
love can be triggered at the first sight...
love is complex.....

however.......

before starting to love somebody.....
the first thing to do ..is to love yourself...
if you dunno how to love yourself
u can never love others...
and don't have the rights to love others...
cos you dunno how to love...

.:Today is the Day?!:.

What is a good choice??....and what is a bad choice???
What is a good decision??...and what is a bad decision???
i dun think i still know about it....and i really never know....

but it doesn't really matter i know or not...it doesn't really matter anymore....
cos today is the day...the day that i have to make a choice...the day i have to make a decision...
a choice..which i hope...would make my life better...a decision...which i hope will reduce my burden....

though many people will say that i'd made a selfish decision...made a bad choice...
but...who'd stand on my side and to think for me....how important this choice...this decision is for me...who know how much had i went through...that i have to come up with this decision???

well....i guess...now...it doesn't matter how good or bad is the choice...and is the decision that i had made....cos...i'd already chosen to make that decision...
and all that i can do now...is to live with the decision that i'd chosen...the choice i had made...
and hopefully to be back into my Sunnie-mode again soon....
though i dunno when will it be...but i hope i won't have to wait long for this.....

.: Sleepless + Tiredness + Thinkings = ??? :.

about 2 weeks after Valentine's...and how am i??....
well...still having bits of insomnia...hahaha..not exactly insomnia...more like..can't really sleep at nite..despite being very tired....why??...well i think it's because the tiredness level is too high till like...sleepiness is not in there anymore...so...if u ask me am i tired...yes i am...sleepy??...no i am not...and i dunno why....maybe because...i am still thinking a lot...a lot a lot and a lot...and wat am i thinking??...hahahhaa....almoast everything..........

so..wat had i been doing??...had courseworks datelines to meet...one group coursework...and one 3000 words individual coursework...to hand-in...having days of butterflies in the tummy...waiting for the results of Final Exam in January...missing home...thinking about this...that...these and those...there are jus so many things inside me..and so many more coming into me...piling all up...which will be loading and sinking me soon...and...hopefullly not...*fingers-crossed*...

since i am back in London...i think this is the longest period that i am not in the Sunnie-mode...locking myself in my room...not going out...not hanging out..jus Uni..and back home...and had been sleeping with my Vaio on the table till early morning when i crawl to bed lying on the bed....*oops...chia and daddy n mummy will be worried and start grumbling me again if they know about this...so sorry* ...and i dunno when it had started...i dunno how long will this one go...and i dunno why is it this way??....all i know is...i haven't been sleeping enough for the past few nites...more like the past few dawns...hehehe...why...well...on Monday morning...wake up quite late...cos no class today...but i have group meeting...to complete the report...compile everything and print...and to start my individual report in uni...and my dawn sleeping hours begin......

Monday...did the report...and research...off to bed during Tuesday early dawn around 4am...and wake up 8.30am off to class...and this went on the same for Tuesday and Wednesday nite..whereby...i apparently slept during the dawn too...except that...i am sleeping at the time nearer to late dawn..which is around 5.30am...and wake up around 9.00am and off to class...and the funny thing is..having my body so fatigue..i am supposed to be very sleepy...instead...except for during in the morning which i felt real sleepy...until lunch...where the sleepiness starting to go away...and even me myself too can't believe that i have tat much of energy to stay up till dawn the next day...wow !!!!...by the way..it is Friday dawn now...which i am supposed to sleep on Thursday nite...hehehe..

by the way...this is part of my 3000 words individual report....an advertisement for IKEA which i have to create...hehehehe....


and wat am i doing now??....well..still not sleepy yet...and it had passed 3.00am here...so wat on earth am i doing in London at this hour??..jus back from party??...NOPE !!!....i had been home since after class and submitting my report in uni...and here i am in my room till now....and now...am watching So you Think You Can Dance Season 4 !!! ....hehehehe....

i think my brain is not functioning tat well again...i think..hahaha...
better stop it better it stop functioning...or....become defective...hahahaaha...
soo....
see ya...and yes..i will try to sleep early...and have early rest....early in the nite and not early in the morning...kekkekekekekekke....
*phew lucky me tomolo no class...can have a good rest back home... :)

.: Valentine's in London :.

Happy Valentine's Day everybody...
how did u celebrate this romantic day of the year??...
it's a day to sprinkle love all around...share love with the loved ones....why??...cos love is in the air for all of us....let's "breath-in" lots of love on this romantically loving day...

so how did i celebrate mine??....hahaha.....
many people must be curious how am i celebrating Valentine's in London....
many thought my schedule will be fully packed...with people asking me out for dates etc etc...
some even thought i will receive roses or gifts by Unix from Malaysia...and some even thought that i might be receiving roses from "flies" or "bees" in London...

well...in actual fact...in had only one date today...and tat is...my beloved "Sony Vaio Laptop"...i had been with him the whole Valentine's day...from day till night....
and all those things that the 'many' and 'some' of them thought that might had happened to me during Valentine's did not happen at all....none of those actually happened...

haha...talking back bout this....it's kinda sad right..haha...more like...a boring Valentine's Day for me...not as exciting or as fun as many people thought it was for me...haha...well..wat to do...i am single in London....and...i dun have *market* here...as i'd been telling many...hehe.. :)

anyway...
Happy Valentine's Day everyone...
hope your Valentine's is much more better than me...
muax muax !!!

.: First 48 Hours Spent Back Home :.

YAY!!! Was back home during the Winter Holiday...
arrived KLIA on 1th Dec 2008...our flight is delayed for awhile...me and Chia touched down KLIA at around 6.00pm ++...check out from the immigration...collect our luggages...and head towards the exit to the arrival hall...walking and walking...and....DADDY & MUMMY came to our sight....miss them so much...tears almost roll down my cheeks seeing them standing there waiting for us so patiently...really makes me want to run and fly to them n hug so tightly....mummy seem to got thinner...n daddy seems older already....guess due to all the stress and pressure from his work... :(

upon arrival...we headed to Xenri Japanese Restaurant for dinner...yummy yummy meal...upon arrival...am so so so happy...and ya...LeeBeBe and Lin Yng came along too...and XiaoJiu joined us too...hehehe....missed these Japanese food so much...hahahaa....

.:Xenri Japanese Restaurant:.

after dinner...head back home...and chit chat with everyone....cos uncle n aunt came over too....i just love to be back home...back to the warm and hot...all year round summer Malaysia....well..at least i dun have to be in the very cold London....i always love summer...hehehe...

so...everyone was thinking i should be relaxing and having fun back in KL...ahem**....not exactly actually...well at least not for the first night....why??....on this first nite..LeeBeBe is supposed to sleep with me...by the way LeeBeBe is my cutie little cousin sister...heheh...so...she get herself changed and came into my romm..ready to go to bed..and me???...busy rushing and finishing the report for my Advertising subject...which is to be submitted to the lecturer on 16th Dec....London time...and how long i took to finished it??..apparently...the whole nite....and...i didn't even sleep until like around 10am in the morning...which is the time after LeeBeBe got up...unbelievably...i spent my firsat night back home...in front of my laptop..on my blue table..seeing the sunrise... [hmm..should had take the pic of sunrise...missed it.. :( ]...sleeping at 10.am...and have to wake up later 1.00pm for my photoshoot at 4.00pm....wow !!!!....so....crawled to bed at 10.00am...and i could hardly fall asleep...cos...too tired...and for LeeBeBe...she wouldn't dare to sleep with me again...cos she had been sleeping alone on my blue bed...when she is so afraid of sleeping alone...hehe....

wat happened later???...like said...i woke up at 1.00pm..which i had to...but seriously....i couldn't wake up...missed my bed so much...and am so so so sleepy....cos i havent been sleeping much in the plane as well....thanks to Unix...who had came to pick me up for the photoshoot...came n wake me up with LeeBeBe...heehe....then....get my showered and all dressed up....and off to lunch...and my mom was like... "u sure u have enough sleep and energy for the photoshoot later?"...i was like...why not??...and wait a minute...this means she actually know i slept at 10 int he morning....she was like..."lee bebe told me u slept at 10am"...then she was like...ok ok ..go for lunch....and off for lunch i went...and..before i leave...mom was like...dun come back so late...u havent been sleeping....u need to come home n rest...i was like..ok ok ..will try...depending wat time the shooting ends.......

so...off to meet the photographer....thanks to Unix for fetching me all around....once in his car car...i apparently....go into deep sleep straight away....am really happy tat he did not complained me sleeping in the car instead of accompanying him chit chatting....cos we haven't meet for 3 months....more like...lucky to have such a considerate Unix with me..hehehe..thank u !!!!!...so upon meeting the photographer...have to go to the make up artist place...get the make up and hair done...and off to this abandoned site for the 1st part of the photoshoot...the theme of the shooting..."the back lane"....dark and cool....

.:Photoshoot Part 1 - Abandoned Site:.

then...followed by Part 2 of the photoshoot...which is at this back lane in KL...and it is during the night...so...it's kinda scary...not really scary..more like awkward....cos...hehe...many ppl were looking at us during the photoshoot...especially the passer-by...hehehe...cos there are outdoor lightings with spotlights etc...hahaha...

.:Photoshoot Part 2 - Back Lane:.

the shooting end about 9pm...then...we moved on to the restaurant for dinner...hmm...really can't imagine me being able to do all these...more like have the energy n strength to do all these after not sleeping the whole nite doing the report...where did those energy come from...hahaha...so..wat we had for dinner...Korean food...which i had a lot in London...can't believe this...i dun usually eat Korean more like never..when i am in KL..then when i was in London..i tend to eat quite a lot of Korean food...and am liking it though...hahaha...

.:Korean Dinner:.

of cos...have to thank the 2 photographers for the great photographs...hehehe...here they are...hehe..thank u so much...hmm...by the way..they still owe me the photos !!!...got to call them send the photos to me....

.:Shan and the Photographers:.

Dinner ended at around 11pm..and for me..head home after tat???...no...not yet...though mumy called n asked why am i not back yet..cos she is so worried that i do not have enough sleep...but am still not heading abck home yet...where did i go??....drinking with my group of close frens...drinking as in..in the Cafe...not clubs or pubs...hehehe...so...finally...wat time did i reached home??....about 1.30am...am exhausted till the max!!!!!!!!!!

but am not tat tired...maybe..cos...i'd exceeded the max level of tiredness..thus...am not feeling tired or sleepy anymore..and maybe due to the jet-lag too....so wat had i done...??...went to surf online...chat with my frens back in London..and went to bed at around 5am...hahahaha.....cant believe i still have energy left to spare...hahahahhahaha....

basically...tat's what i'd done during the first 48 hours back home...

.: Precious 20 Days Back Home :.

Was back home during the Winter Hols...from 14th Dec till 3rd Jan...
Meaning...am celebrating X'Mas and New Year..back with my family...hehee....happily me...
But why not i stay back in Malaysia longer...why am i going back to London so quick???...cos...i got exam on 5th Jan... :( thus...i have to rush back here to London to preapre for my exam..

Well...out of these precious 20 days back home...i'd spent 10 days in Taiwan with my family...and that means...i'd only spent 10 days back home...and that is short...but even how even way...no matter where it is...i'm still spending time with my family...and tat's the good thing....jus that...i spent less time in KL doing my things...and 10 days in KL...i have so many things to do....with like...so little time to spend...

so wat had i done in these precious 20 days...why is it precious...cos...it's a rather short time spent at home....so..it's really precious...moreover..i dunno when will i be coming back to KL in 2009...cos still not confirmed yet...ok...so wat had i done??...many and lots...writing reports...attending photoshoots...shopping....new year celebration...doing check-ups....going out with Unix...hanging out with my Ven-Dear...meeting up my group of close frens *you know who you are*... etc etc etc.....wow !!!...am jus so packed...ahaha...

ya ya...not to mention...am so sorry that i couldn't meet up all my frens back in KL...only managed to meet up a few of my close frens....and...sorry for not calling you guys out when i was back..well..though am back at KL for 10 days...but it was like a "touch-n-go" trip back to KL..thus...din really have much time to meet you guys snf girld...sorry Chris-dear and my soon-to-be bride-Jesmine...sorry for not being able to meet u both....i promise..will definitely go see u girls when i am back again ok.. :)
and many many other more...jus too many to be mentioned...hehehe... :)

anyway...i had fun...and i really miss giong back to KL...
wanna to go back so much....and at the time i have to come back to London...really..dun feel like coming back...why??...cos i will be all alone here in London....dun wanna be alone.........

.:MIA for 2 Months:.

Missing for 2 months...from Blue3 Paradise...and here back again...hahaha...
many asked...."why haven't you been updating your blog?"..."wat happened to you??"...i was like...sorry sorry sorry...am really busy in London...lot's of things to do in London with my courseworks...presentations...reports....meetings...etc etc etc..

and..now...beginning of semester 2....still have a little time to write something..i guess...before getting into the busily-packed schedule again....
so how was my past 2 months...hahaha.....
many many things happened......went back KL during winter break...which is not exactly a break for me...cos i have to rush the reports...and study for my exam in Jan 2009...upon arrival and walking out to the arrival hall at KLIA...saw daddy n mummy standing there waiting for me n Chia...and really so so so happy...missed them so much...it felt like i'd been away from home for like years...though in fact..it was only like for 3 months ?!?!...hahaha.....

back in KL..have to prepare so many things...busy busy tooo...but well..at least...i did enjoyed everything back home....home sweet home...and back to my blue paradise room....plus the Taiwan trip...hehehehhe.....and yes..Taiwan again...i jus like holidaying at Taiwan and Japan...and this time is family holiday...hehehe.....

besides that...hmm....celebrated the New Year...back home...and then...off to London for my exam 2 days after new year....i miss home soo soo much....why??...cos....only me flying back to London....alone..to the empty apartment here alone...moreover....only mummy...chia..yee...and unix came sent me off at the airport...daddy n brother couldn'd make it as they have to attend a conference...all my dears...cant make it too..cos they were too busy...even my dai-b also din come...really makes me miss them soo soo soo much....really dun feel like going back to London... :( ...but i have to....not like i have a choice...and when hugging mummy at the airport...really feel so much of crying... :( ...and this is wat we call "home-sick"

anyway...am fine now already...getting better already...well..time heals...i guess.. :)
so back in London..wat i did???...hehehe....
"stay tuned to the upcoming posts"...hahahahah
see ya...
muax !!!!

.: Fire~fiR3 :.

Thursday morning...a cold cooling morning...with the great bright sun.....
things went on as usual..except for that the heater in room was not working last nite...
but things are just the same...

during this Thursday of the Induction Week...everything went on as usual....attending lectures for the induction....and today my induction session...is until 7.00pm...so the late ah...and today we have library tour until 4pm..and then..we have like 1hours n 45mins break..as my school induction starts at 5.45pm...so wat did i do for such long break??...me n Natalie went to this small Italian cafe at Bakers Street for a cup of hot drink..i have a cup of hot chocolate..and...it's a pretty big cup...heheehehe...but i manage to finish it..more like i have to finish it...cos it's pretty cold out there..and the cup of hot choco..heheh..great feel...kekekekeke....

then during the school induction...the acting director of the postgraduate course...came and briefed us about the safety procedures in uni...she started with talking about the safety features and procedures and things to do when there's a fire and when there's a bomb alert...she told us when there's a bomb alert...everyone have to hide under the table..hmm...we never knew this is the safest..but she said...that one of the things to be done....then she was talking about wat should we do during fire....where should we go n not go....and when she was talking about when there's a fire during examination...the fire alarm rang...it really rang..all of us in the lecture theatre thought it was jus some kind of joke..or was the alarm ranged to just let us know how it sounds like...and...the course director started shouting.."no..this is not some kind of joke or fire drill...this is the real alarm...it's real fire..."...and she called all of us to evacuate the building...and...wow...all of us ran to the nearest fire exit..at this lecture hall..there are 3 fire exits..and the one me n Natalie went to is the on led us to the open area in front of the students hall of residence....guess wat...there's really a fire...at the student's dormitory 3rd floor...

so wat happened after that??...hehehe...well...my day which is supposed to end at 7.00pm ended early...hehehe..how early???...6.00pm..hehehe...and me went home straight..hehehe...so nice...kekekekeekek.....

i told my dad about this...then my dad say...hmm..something is srong with me...i asked him why he say so...then he said...hehehe....when we went egypt...there's a fire...then during my bro's graduation this August....there was also a fire in his uni...luckily his graduation ceremony is not in his uni building...hehehehe...then now...i'm in my uni..there's fire too...hahaha..i was like..no lo...not my fault...
and er..hehehe...welll..maybe it's just coincidence...
heheheheheehehehe....


long time din write quotes ad...here's one very interesting one from HSBC UK...
everyone looks at the world from a different point of view..wat's ur point of view??...so was the fire becos me like daddy says or was it jus coincidence??...hmmmm...

.: Ohayo Gozaimasu おはよございます!! :.

good morning??...i wake up very early today??...
nah...no....it's more like...i'm still not off to bed yet...
so wat m i doing in such early hours in the dawn??...to catch sunrise??..hahaha...had caught a few sunrise in my room since i'm back from UK...i jus can't seem to fall asleep when the moon is still up...dunno wat's wrong with me...

many of my frens thought i'd flew to London ad...am in London now...without letting them know...nah..apparently...i'm still in KL...and the one in London now is Chia...she flew there this morning...and why am i still here while she's there ad??...cos...my visa application is still not ready yet...am stil waiting for my visa...hopefully could get it this week...and fly to London after that...so wish me luck.....!!!...sounds like i really wanna to go there asap huh....well..nope...i really miss here alot...i miss everyone..everything...everywhere here alot....if i can choose...i would wanna to fly there later....cos no matter how i still need to go there to do my masters...complete it...in order to do that..i need my visa...so...wish me luck !!!

many things happened to me...and words itself jus cant simply define it all...thoughts of many things went thru my mine everynight before my eyes...no..it's before my mind shut to rest...i even ended up in bed of tears...my dears n dai-b n a few frens saw my status in facebook and asked me wat's wrong...seriously...it's not i dun want to tell..it's even me myself also dunno wat is wrong with me...something is wrong with me recently...i havent been seeing Unix these few days...dunno why...we tend to argue a lot these few days...is it me??..i really dunno...jus...i'm not me....just dun feel me..and i dunno why???....

few days back...got to know from my mom that my uncle in ipoh had been admitted to the hospital due to appendixes...he was admitted to the hospital for 4 days...as i know...appendixes are minor operation...and usually only have to stay in the hospital for a day or more...but this time..my uncle was sent to the ICU after the operation...only then i knew...his intestines was infected n burst somehow...my uncle n aunt from kl..went to ipoh to pay him a visit...i was supposed to go back too...but knowing that will be going to the hospital to visit him..am scared...hospital does gave me fobia...had went to the Sunday Medic on Friday to get my medical report done for my London immigration thing...tat's scary enough....now going back there...it does scares me....thus...i did not follow back...and only today...after my uncle n aunt came back from ipoh..only i know...that my uncle in ipoh had done a life threatening operation....

well life is really very fragile...human body is also very fragile....not jus to adults....not just to the elders...and now even to the infants....jus like in China now....milk can kill infants..wat's going on??...infants n babies grew up with milk...all of us here grew up with milk...and now these milks are life threatening...to whom??...to the newly borns...to the babies...to the infants...even to adults...to everyone...till Starbuck's in China no longer use milk in their product....wat is going on??....milk is the most essential nourishment for infants...now...it can kill them...cause them sick....articles of milk killing babies...death toll rose to 6 person...and putting thousands of babies into illness had been circulating all around....this is case is not even over yet...another case had arosen...today Star's front page...Marriott hotel at Pakistan was bombed...and it's believe done to mark the anniversary of the Sep11 case...wat is going on??.....is it still not enough put to illness n death ad this year??...how many more people will have to suffer this??....during SiChuan earthquakes...many of the victims were the children n teacher...milk case...victims are the infants....now bomb case...victims n victims again...how many victims more should be sacrificed????

seeing so much disasters happening all around the world...we should be glad and blessed that we are still here today...being able to be together with our family n frens....we should be more than enough satisfied...however...in the nature of humans...humans are never satisfied....so a i really staisfied with my life now??...if i answer fully 100%..it's definitely wrong...if i said...i'm satisfied...tat's true.... :)

wow....at the midst of getting resy to bed...guess had already blurped out many things...hahaha...until which...i dun even know what this post us supposed to be about??..it started with a Ohayo title...ended with world news...hahahaha...i really dunno wat is wrong with me....我真的到底怎么了呢？？？？？ わたしは　だいじょぶ　ですか？？？

.: Lee Chong Wei is in the Olympics 2008 Finals !! :.

me came home after meeting up with Chris*Dear and Mr.Tan at Klang today evening...

when i reached home...dad n bro is sitting by the TV..looking to excited...me quickly ran n ask...wat's the result...it's the finals match...and Lee Chong Wei is leading...hehehe...

finished watching the final match...and YAY ! ! ! !...he's in the Olympics 2008 FINALS...tat meant...Malaysia now has a secured Silver in the medal chart...hehehe....

The last time Malaysia gain a medal in the Olympics for Badminton is many years back when Yap Kim Hock & Cheah Sun Kit played for the doubles...and now..yay!!.....we have a secured silver medal...and even maybe a GOLD medal...

i'd always been a supporter of Lee Chong Wei...and i believe in you!...Make Malaysia Proud!...

がんばて! ...加油!...Lee Chong Wei ! ! !

here's an article about today's match...

Lee Stumbles but Prevails

(BEIJING, August 15) -- Malaysia's World No. 2 Lee Chong-wei had his first scare since entering the Olympic Badminton tournament, but emerged triumphant against Lee Hyun-il of the Republic of Korea 21-18, 13-21, 21-13 in the semifinals of the Men's Singles competition on Friday, August 15.

Heavily favored for gold, the Malaysian ace stayed undefeated in his previous matches, taking them all in two straight games.

Lee Chong-wei stayed in form throughout the first game against Lee Hyun-il, the quarterfinal stunner of China's third seed Bao Chunlai, to win 21-18. Then his winning streak was put to an abrupt end in the second game, as Lee Hyun-il scored a consecutive 11 points to lead 16-6 midway through before closing it at 21-13.

The Malaysian shuttler soon recovered, building a solid lead with several unassailable net flies and razor-sharp smashes. Though the left-handed Lee Hyun-il played hard, coming up with a perfect net shot and driving several cross-court shots to narrow the margin, Lee Chong-wei won the third game 21-13.

"I made a few mistakes in the beginning and I knew I could not win, so I just prepared myself for the final game," said Lee Chong-wei about his loss in the second game. "I followed the game plan from the beginning and went all out to take the last game."

Lee Chong-wei will go to the final and meet the winner between World No. 1 Lin Dan and fourth seed Chen Jin, both of China. If he wins in the final, it would be the first ever Olympic gold for Malaysia.


Now let us all..hand-in-hand...wish Lee Chong Wei...our national shutter...All the Very Best for the Beijing Olympics 2008 Badminton Men's Single FINAL ! ! !
がんばて! ! !

.: Dentiste PhotoShoot:.

it's 08th August of 2008...it's the *08.08.08*...
it's the day of the Grand Opening of Beijing Olympics 2008...
so wat are you doing on this once in a life time day of 080808???...what did you do on this once in a lifetime day??...

me??...i was busy the whole day...since morning till nite...had a photoshoot...for Dentiste from morning till around 9pm..i thought the shooting will end early thus i can at least watch the opening...but who knows...my photoshoot ended around 9pm...and after shooting..i had dinner with the boss of Dentiste and the whole shooting team..hehehe...

so here are some of the pictures of the photoshoot ont the great 080808...

.:Shan getting her hair done for the shooting..after make up:.

.:some of the products for the shoot that day...so the many...these are only jus a part of it:.

.:having toothbrushes..tooth paste..tooth foam...tooth brush picks..health drinks...etc etc:.
.:Shan...getting ready for the shooting...hehehe:.

.:Shan with Cindy...the one who'd found me and got me into this PhotoShoot for Dentiste...manager of Smile Link:.

.:Shan with Steven...the photographer for the day...a local photographer who had won lots of photography awards:.

.:Shan with Sara...the make-up artist and hairstylist of the day who'd made me looked so nice for the shooting...love her make-up n hair-styling so much:.

so the shooting ended pretty well...though i have to do many of posing n jumps...hehehe..but it's worth while..and i did enjoyed myself there...

thanks all of u for the whole day...like Mrs.Wong...Cindy...Steven..Sara...K.C and a few art director who'd taught me many things...

Thank You...

你们辛苦了.....

谢谢 ! ! !

so...tat's all for my day on 080808???...

no no no...it's not the end yet...

hehehe...it is to be continued....

so..stay tune...kekekekekekeke.....

.: かわいDiNg-gU-diNg doGgie :.

hehehe...while browsing thru the picts in my camera...came across this and thought this is very cute...thus...post it up here...heee...
on Sunday...we went shopping at KLCC...moreover it's mega sales now and KLCC is having this 100-days shopping carnival...wow...hehehe...
so wat i bought...hehe...me bought a LeSportSac pouch..hehehe..it's for my passport...

and..the best part of the whole shopping trip is...
my bro bought swimsuits for our doggies...as triumph is having swimsuits fair at Isetan..thus my bro bought 2 swimsuits for the doggies...one for Bei~Bei and one with dress for Jing-Jing...hehehe...
so here...is how cuite Jing-Jing look with her new swimsuit dress...heee... かわい ! !

.:かわい Jing-Jing...posing so elegantly...hehehe:.

.: ScaRy Bat-tee Tuesday Night :.

after a visit to the dentist in the morning...and a tiring day at work...
went home...and as usual...every Tuesday nite..i have my dinner outside..and Unix will come n take me out for dinner every Tuesday nite...it goes the same as this particular Tuesday...
everything went on ok...and until at around 2am..i went to bed...

after sleeping for awhile...felt something unusual....heard things flying here n there...but cant see anything...as it's the 7th month of the lunar calendar..thus...started to think of stupid things...then heard "ji..ji...ji..." noise...and turn on the lights...to my surprise....there's a BAT flying around in my room...Oh MY !!!...how did the bat got into my room??...all my windows are shut..my doors are closed...from where did the bat come from??...i'd been in my room since like 12am..and for the past few hours...where was the bat??...was so scared..thus...i'd called Unix who was sleeping in the guest room then...to come over to my room to shoo the bat away....

the bat flew all around my room...me n Unix are both scared that the bat will come scratch us etc...thus we had been hiding under the comforter most of the time...when the bat stop flying then we only dare to move...Unix went to open the window...and...there also bats outside !!!..how how??...wat happen if those bats outside fly in??...so we dun dare to open many windows..only 2 at a time...wat is this...why are there so many bats??...i haven't watch batman leh...why suddenly so many bats appear one??.....wat is this ler??....

ok..back to the bat in my room...me n Unix were like..me busy switching the lights on n off while he busy shoo-ing the bat to fly out...and then we have the Batman Unix vs the flying bat....where Unix used the blanket to cover himself holding a poster to flick the bat...then...we also have the JayChow Batman vs the flying bat...where Unix went n grab my cap n sunglass...put it on...making him look like JayChow...hahahahaha...whenever he gets near the bat...it'll start flying..and me...hide lo of cos...there's even once where i went to hide myself inside my wardrobe..cham ler..how long this have to go on..i very sleepy ad...how how how...the bat jus dunno how to go out of the window...i know bats are blind..but are they really *that* blind??...both of us got really tired ad...then we started to throw things at the bat..we threw pen and my soft toys...to shoo the bat...and...finally....it....did not fly out...but went into a very big mug of mine...(lucky the mug is for display purposes only)....

when the bat went into the mug...we quickly..took my magazines..cover the top of the mug...Unix carried the mug to the window...and on the count to 3..he'll lift up the magazine to let the bat fly away and me..have to shut the window...and ...1....2....3....puup...shut the window and we ran back to the bed...cover ourselves...after a few seconds...we went to check the mug that was left outisde the window..it's empty...hehehe..my first thought was..yay...we finally got rid of the bat...heee...yay !! can sleep ad...then..Unix said...shit...i was like why????...he said..did we get the correct mug with the bat inside or we got the wrong mug?? (cos there are 2 mugs there...situated pretty high up)..i was like har???..no gua..i remember very well i saw the bat flew into this mug la...thus me went to bring down the other mug n checked..nothing is in there..then Unix went to check around my room...and..yes...confirmed...we'd get rid of the bat ad..FINALLY !!!!!....

so wat time is it when i get back to bed again??...it's almost 6 in the morning already...wat de @#$*&^%!!!...thanks to the bat...i din have enough sleep....wake up as usual this morning..get myself ready to work..with giddy head..and tonight i got yoga somemore..cham...another tiring day to come...wish me luck that i won't faint...hahahahahaha...

in the morning...i told mom bout the whole incident of the bat in my room...my mom was also surprised how the bat ended up in my room...she then asked where did the bat go finally...i said..of cos i chased it out ler..or else how m i going to sleep leh...she was like.."why chase the bat out la"...mama...i wan to sleep wor..hmm...dun tell me u expect me to sleep with the bat ah..i dun wan!!!...yerrrrr....well..i understand why..cos to chinese...it's good that bats come to our house...but..mom..cannot la...it is flying all around in my room..i very scared la....next time got...i try to chase to ur room ok...kekekekekekekeke....no la...heeeeeeeee.......

until now...how did the bat come into my room...is still a mystery...where was it when i was still on my table...before i go to bed??...oh my....all these are still mysteries.......................

.: O.M.G!!..so Expensive ! :.

the drastic price increase of petrol is now one of the major issue in Malaysia...especially when Malaysia is an oil & gas production country...

many say this price increase will only affect the medium n the lower class...but to me..i think it affect all level of classes...and it affected me as well...

.:40.407 Litres of petrol = RM109.10:.

see see see...the price ...RM109.10..so the expensive ler...for my car car...before the price increase...full tank petrol doesn't even take up RM80.00...and now...with 1/8 of the tank filled with petrol...i now need to pay RM109.10 to fill it full...so expensive...in the past...before the price increase...i only need to pay RM60++ ~ RM70 to fill it full..and now..over RM100...wat de...so the expensive ler...my car car is considered one of the fuel saving type of car car ad...imagine those non fuel saving car car...or those big big or sporty cars...really dunno how much will the fuel price be ler...wow... !!!!!

and then...i heard...the price may increase again next year...
cham ler..die ler..then how ah...how to cope with such expenses...when fuel price increase..it seems like the price for everything else also increase..it's all inter-related...

hmm...i think hor...i will have to train my stamina ad ler...hehe...maybe have to take bicycle to work in the future ad...but then...i stay so far ler..how to cycle to work...if i do..i can die ler...dunno need to cycle how long...and i'll have to wake up very early in the morning la..no no no...bad bad bad idea...hahaha....i can try my colleagues idea as well..which is...to ride an animal to work...hahahaahahahahaha........

Thought: when expenses increase...does that means our standard of living should also increase??..but how come i dun feel so?? hmmmmmmm.......

.: wAt a fuNny luNcH :.

hehe...
something very funny happened today...in fact...just now...kekekeke...

me and my colleagues (ting fong and ah fun) went out for lunch opposite our office just now...jia huei did not come along as she is having lunch with her frens...so only 3 of us...we were thinking as we are only having lunch at opposite our office...so we did not bring our office keys out...

after lunch we just walk back to our office as usual...and to our surprised...the office grille door is locked...and we din bring our keys...o.m.g...how??...so we ended up standing at the stairs...waiting n hoping jia huei or our bosses will be back soon to open the door...it was so hot...3 of us...like soh poh..sweating...detoxify-ing...at the stairway...waiting and chit chatting...

until...we heard a very familiar ring tone..it's one of our boss' hp ring tone..yay!!!..finally someone is here to open the door for us...but but but...to our surprise is..we waited for so long but we did not see him...thus ah dun went up to ring the door bell...but nobody opened the door...however we still hear our boss talking on the phone...so i walked down to the corridor n see whether is my boss there...and..there was no sign of my boss anywhere...

we walked back up and heard my boss still talking n laughing on the phone...thus we ringed the door bell again..but still no reply...we are confirmed that our boss is in the office..with the grille door locked and him not knowing...haih...this means that we..3 of us...had been standing there for about 20 minutes..only we come to know that our boss is in the office..omg...20 minutes in the stuffy stairway...hahahaha...thinking back also felt so stupid n silly...hahahaha...

after we heard our boss finished talking on the phone..we ringed the door bell once again..but no reply..thus i called my boss n told him we are outside the grille door...and we do not have the keys to open the door...hahahaha..my boss was like ..okok..i open the door now...he really din know that the grille door is locked...haha...once the door is opened...we were like...air cond~~...cool breeze~~...yay !!!!!!

after opening the door for us...my boss told us that..he knew that we were at the stairway...he heard us chit chatting there...was wondering wat were we doing there at the stairway for so long and still dun wan to come upstairs to the office yet..he went n look at the cctv..n saw us..he thought we were busy taking photos at the stairway...he was thinking wat is there so nice to take photos there...hahaha...

we were like..noooooo....we dun have the keys to go in..and we thought there are nobody in the office...so we waited there n chit chat...and detoxify ourselves through sweat..hahahahahahahahahaha...

how silly...funny n embarrassing...ahahahahahaha....

Quote to share:*When something happens to u, good or bad, consider what it means...there's a purpose to life's event, to teach u how to laugh more and not to cry too hard...*
hahaha..guess this life's event of lunch of mine is something i will have to laugh about...and definitely not to cry about...hehe...and from this silly event...it'd brought me n my colleagues an unforgettable silly experience..hahaha...another similarity to us in Chameleon Integrated...kekekeke...