While having lunch today, certain thoughts came to me. I contemplated on serious stuff while eating alone.I'm kinda getting tired of these thoughts because I always think that I have no direction in life.
True, I've been doing this job for the past so many years already. In fact, I could close my eyes and commit no mistake while doing it. In spite of all the achievements and success, I've always felt that there's something lacking.
I thought of my dad when he was at this age. I was kinda surprised with what he had achieved at that time after coming from a poor family.
He was able to build a house for his family, he had a stable job and he was able to send my brother and I to a good school. He was even earning less than what I am earning right now. (but of course the standard of living at that time was way lower than today)
When I see some of my classmates who were once hooligans in school and see how much they have achieved, I can't help but be envious.
I really don't know if the path I took is really the right one. I know that I have touched a thousand lives. I know that I was able to make a difference. I know that I have gained friends for the rest of my life because of what I did. But have I provided myself with anything that would make my parents proud of me? (knowing that their definition of success is mainly seen through material wealth). Do I have enough savings that would help me out when I lose my job?
The answer is a BIG NO!
I don't have my own house. I don't have my own car. I don't have my own properties. If I'll probably compute my assets and liabilities, the latter would definitely weigh more.
I would often think of switching career. Maybe that way, my parents would be prouder of me and I would be able to come up with the material wealth that they are looking for.
The problem is, what industry would hire me? I've been in this field for so many years! I really don't know if I could do something else. In fact, I would always joke around that if I don't get a job when I go home to Manila, i would just resort to selling my meat so that I could sustain my addiction to gym and pay for the bills.
Sigh...I really don't know what's next for me.
I'm a lost soul...
12 comments:
Like my mom always tell me
Just keep on moving. Like you bro, we're just on the same boat. Ayoko lang isipin kung anong in-store sa hinaharap ko.
I just struggle to keep myself afloat.
Kaya yan.
get your voice back! alam kong makakaraos ka rin dito-edukado kang tao at alam kong alam mo buhatin ang iyong sarili.
*YAKAP NG MAHIGPIT*
Brod, Manny Pacquiao is in town!!! Hingi tayo pera sa kanya. Baka andun kasagutan sa problema mo. O kaya apply tayong personality development consultant ni Nanay Deonesia.
ano job mo ba?
i fe4el for u
HI PO...
i can't believe somebody could put into words the emotions and pain that im going through right now...the pain that im trying my best to shrug off
there's nothing i can offer but a pat on your back and some prayers.
dont worry, if you need some ear that would be more than willing to listen, im just an email or text away
0927-756-2490
erick_frago@yahoo.com
always remember ang mundo parang bilog na betlog yan.
minsan nasa taas ka minsan nasa baba. depende yan sa role mo. kahit nasa baba ka pwede mo pa ring paligayahin ang taong nasa taas mo. Nasa taas ka nga, di naman satisfied ang nasa baba mo.
ang buhay ng tao, hindi lang sa pera at materyal nabubuhay. Tulad na bilog na betlog.....
nasa performance yan !
you are so not alone with those thoughts. i share the same sentiments.
sa lahat ng mga nag comment, maraming salamat. you just dont know how much your words mean to me.
been struggling these past few years because of my job.
gave up all my credit cards, my postpaid plan, stopped going abroad for vacation, have not even bought myself a new stuff except for the laptop that i use at work.
sigh...
@jake
napaka inspiring mo talaga, hayop ka talaga! hahaha!
@turismoboi
uhmmm should i tell you what my job is? hmmmm saka na lang pag nagkita tayo kasama ni john_stanley. :)
@rain
napakagaling ng iyong metaphor! no one could have said it well except for you.
you're so right. bakit ganun no? we earn more than people did back then pero when my dad was my age, may pamilya na siya, bahay kotse etc. i don't think it's just the standard of living. mas mahirap lang talaga buhay ngayon.
I have been reading some of your posts for a while now. This blog really struck me deep because the same was my struggle years back. I went to my own career path unsure of the future. But time will tell as I did. An unexpected and great opportunity came to me when my hopes almost dwindled like a bubble. So don't give up but pray. An adage goes, opportunities and possibilities are endless, and it is up to us to patiently discover.
darating din yan.... sa takdang panahon.
@cb
true, mahirap lang talaga ang buhay ngayon
@simplengtao
sana nga...
maraming salamat din sa pagfollow sa blog ko :)
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