Happy Ending sa Masahe!

I never pay for sex! 'Yan ang matinding paninindigan ko! Sabi ko nga sa mga kaibigan, bakit ba kailangan kong magbayad eh kaya ko namang makakuha ng kahit sino para makasex!?!

Ilang beses na din naglaro sa aking isipan na magpa-extra o magkahappy ending ang aking pagpapamasahe. Ilang beses na din ako inalok ng extra o kaya nama'y nagparamdam ang masahista na baka trip ko magpa-extra pero sadyang di ako kumikibo o kaya'y tumatanggi ako.

Kanina, matapos mag gym, nagdesisyon ako na magpamasahe sa isang spa na kilala na tinatangkilik ng mga PLU dito sa Cebu. Nagdecide ako na magpa-body scrub at massage. Bago pa lang pumasok sa spa ay malikot nang naglalaro sa aking isipan na magpapa extra ako at lalandiin ko ang masahista. Wala akong pakialam kung magkano singilin niya basta matupad ang pantasya ko na magkaron ng happy ending matapos ang masahe.

Sa simula, humiga ako sa kama na nakabrief lang. Sinadya ko na maganda ang brief ko sa araw na ito. Pumasok ang masahista, sinabihan ako na kelangan ko daw hubarin ang brief dahil mababasa pag nagbody scrub. TING! isang hudyat na lalandi na ako! HAHAHA!

Nang magsimula na ang paghagod niya sa aking katawan ng mga coffee beans na gamit sa body scrub, sadyang nahahawakan niya ang maselang parte ng aking katawan hanggang sa ito'y tumigas. Agad-agad niyang tinanggal ang nakatakip sa aking maselang bahagi at tuluyan nang bumuyangyang sa masahista ang hubad kong katawan.

Nagpatuloy siya sa pagscrub ng aking katawan habang nahahagingan niya ang aking matigas na ari. Nakapikit lang ako. Dedma. Kunwari ay nagcoconcentrate sa ginagawa niyang serbisyong body scrub. Tumalikod ako at ang likuran at puwetan ko naman ang kanyan iniscrub.

Matapos ang serbisyo ay nagshower ako upang matanggal ang mga ginamit na beans na dumikit sa aking katawan. Naghanda na din ako sa masahe na gagawin sa akin.

Nagsimula ang masahe. Medium lang ang pressure na sinabi ko dahil wala naman talaga akong balak na magkaron ng masarap na masahe. Ang nais ko lang ay happy ending! Minasahe niya ako nang maayos. Walang malaswang kilos sa kabuuan hanggang sa minasahe niya na ang aking kamay. Naramdaman ko na lang na ipinapatong niya ito sa kanyang ari. Nararamdaman ko na tumitigas din ang kanyang ari. Nalibugan ako. Lalong tumigas ang aking etits! Alam ko na nakita niya iyon.

Kinausap niya na ako. Tinanong kung taga Cebu ako. Sabi ko, taga Maynila ako at di ako marunong umintindi ng Cebuano (kunyari lang yun kasi marunong ako umintindi). Nagkunwari ako na nasa Cebu lang ako for business at uuwi na ng Maynila sa mga susunod na araw. Sabi niya, gusto niya daw ako na customer kasi mabait ako.

At nang matapos na siya sa pagmasahe ay binulungan niya ako. Baka gusto ko daw ng extra. Happy ending kumbaga. Dahil di naman ako sanay sa ganitong bagay, tinanong ko kung ano meron sa happy ending. Sabi nya, madami daw at masaya. Tinanong ko kung magkano. Sabi niya, isang libo. Sabi ko masyadong mahal. Nagkaron ng tawaran hanggang sa magkasundo sa Php600.00.

Nang matapos ang negosasyon, sinumulan na niyang laruin ang aking kargada. Masarap ang feeling. Matagal na din akong tigang at heto ako sa isang massage parlor, isang cute na batang masahista ang naglalaro sa akin. Sinimulan ko na ding hawakan ang kanyang ari. PUTANG INA! DAKOTA HARRISON! Ang taba pa!

Tinanong ko siya kung puede ko isubo, dahil fetish ko ang malalaking etits! Sabi niya, dagdagan ko daw ng 100. Di ako pumayag! Pero puta! Libog talaga ako! Matagal na akong di nakakapaglollipop! Pumayag na ako magdagdag! ANG SARAP!

Pinaupo ko siya dinilaan at jinakol habang jinajakol nya din ako! Dinilaan ko ang utong niya at napaungol siya!

Habang dinidilaan ko sya ay nagpalabas siya. Matapos niya magpahid ay nilaro niya ulit ang etits ko at doon ay tumilamsik ang napakaraming katas na umabot hanggang dibdib ko!

Pinahiran niya ako. Lumabas siya at kumuha ng hot towel na pampahid sa akin.

Masarap ang karanasan! Natupad na ang aking pantasya.

Eagle ang codename niya. Estudyante pa daw siya at sana daw ay bumalik ako upang magpamasahe sa kanya before ako umuwi sa Maynila. Sabi ko, sa susunod na pagbalik ko sa Cebu sa Setyembre ay siya na ang magmamasahe sa akin. Hindi ako sigurado kung makakabalik ulit ako before ako umuwi ng Maynila this week.ECHOS! (gusto ko actually bumalik ulit! ahahaha)

Tunay na happy nga ang happy ending sa masahe.

Tinext ko ang mga engkanto matapos ang karanasang ito. Sabi ko, di na ako virgin kasi for the first time ay nagbayad ako para lang maranasan ang happy ending. I paid for sex but it was worth it!

Isang FIRST na naman ang nangyari sa Cebu. TSALAP! hehehe!

Busted and Disconnected

My LAPTOP succumbed to hardware failure last night. I won't be online 'til I have it fixed. That's when I get home 2 weeks from now coz the only service center is in Metro Manila.

My internet life is dead for 2 weeks. My only access is at work and if ever I have time to go to an internet cafe in this place called Sugbo.

Will miss playing with Facebook and making kulit in twitter and YM.

Paalam muna, pansamantala.

I'll be busy with my books and dvd's for the meantime.

See ya boys!

Malapit na Mag-SUMMER!

Hindi ka nagkakamali sa nabasa mong title ng entry ko na ito.

Malapit na talaga mag-summer!

Para sa kompanya na aking pinagtatrabahuhan, ang Hunyo, Hulyo at Agosto ay itinuturing na summer months. Kumbaga, sinusundan nila ang 4 seasons ng Northern Hemisphere temperate zone. Kaya kahit umuulan sa Pilipinas ay summer pa din ang tawag namin dito.

Kaya't pagsapit ng Hunyo ay isisigaw lahat ng mga nandito sa aming kompanya na SUMMERTIME NA!

Hayden and Katrina

It's in the internet and in the news: the Katrina Halili and Hayden Kho video scandal.

Even Senator Bong Revilla and women's organization Gabriela entered the scene. The former wanted to have Kho's medical license revoked by the PRC while the latter wants to support Katrina because they feel that she was violated with the release of the video online and in DVD's.

Oh well, here's the controversial video in case you haven't seen it in Youtube.

Boys Over Flowers

Ilang buwan na din ang nakakaraan, narinig ko na may kinalolokohang Korean series ang aking mga kaibigang babae. Napapanuod daw nila ito sa cable, sa KBS.

Isang gabi, nag dinner kami sa bahay ng isa sa kanila at pinanuod namin ang naturang palabas. Walang kadating-dating sa akin ang palabas. Sa katunayan, tinulugan ko lamang sila habang nanunuod at nagtitili habang nakikita ang mga Korean stars ng serye. Ito daw ang Korean version ng F4.

Noong isang linggo, nagsimulang umere sa Pilipinas ang Tagalized version ng Boys Over Flowers. At dahil na din sa curiosity, pinanuod ko ang unang episode nito. Wag ka, nagustuhan ko ang naturang palabas! Nakakatawa at magaganda ang mga eksena nito. Dalawang episode lang ang aking napanuod noong unang linggo nito. Medyo nawala na ako sa kwento at di ko na alam kung ano ang nangyari pero susubukan ko na ito'y panuorin sa bago nitong oras na alas-6 ng gabi. Kahit masama sa loob ko ang bagong timeslot na ito ay papanuorin ko na din para di mahuli sa uso.

Bukod sa maganda ang serye ay cute ang Korean F4. Sarap nilang panoorin sa telebisyon. Sila na ang aking kasabay sa hapunan. Hehehe!

Patuloy ko na susubaybayan ang kwento nina Jan Di, Jun Pyo, Ji Hoo, Yi Jeong at Woo Bin. At kung hindi ko makumpleto ang serye ay madali nang bumili ng DVD sa 168.

Para Ti

Este poema es para alguien especial
Las pequeñas conversaciones que vale la pena un de millón
Gracias por ser un amigo
Te echo de menos
______________________________

Nunca pensé que me gustaría que eres
Me dije que somos sólo amigos
Pero, por qué me siento hacia usted esta
Quiero que esta sensación de vacío a
Pero no sé cómo
Siempre estoy feliz cuando está de alrededor
Le da alegría a mi vida
Y le agradezco que
Tal vez sirva como inspiración
Los obstáculos a la batalla
que vienen a mi manera
Su inteligencia y el humor
es insondable, pero sé
que un día, voy a descubrir
que la verdadera
Y juntos vamos a navegar a través de
bruto vientos de alta mar
y la tranquilidad
del océano
Tú eres mi un
Eres es muy importante para mí
Tú eres mi inspiración ...

Jai Ho

This is my new favorite song. After scouring the net, I found out that "Jai Ho" means "may victory be yours."

I know it won the Academy Awards last March but it only caught my attention when I saw the promo for the Pussy Cat Dolls' concert in Manila on June 11.

I saw the original Indian version in You Tube and I'm posting it here together with the PCD's English version. I like the music! Never thought that I will like Indian music.

I wanna watch the PCD concert on June 11. I wanna hear Nicole sing this song live! Sino gusto sumama?

Mga Batang Batibot

Naalala mo pa sina Pong Pagong, Kiko Matsing, Manang Bola, Ningning, Gingging, Kuya Bodjie at Ate Siena?

Sila ang mga karakter na nakasama ko sa paglaki. Sila ang mga tauhan sa napakasikat na palabas pambata na Batibot.

Wala nang palabas na pumantay sa Batibot simula nang ito'y magsimula at nagwakas. Sadyang kay lungkot lang nang binawi ng Children's Television Workshop sa Estados Unidos ang karakter na sina Pong Pagong at Kiko Matsing.

Bagaman pinalitan ang dalawa ng ibang puppet ay hindi ito naging sapat upang punuan ang kawalan na naramdaman ng mga batang Batibot na tulad ko. Hanggang sa naglaho na lamang sa ere ang pinakamagaling na palabas pambata na nalikha sa Pilipinas.

Minsan, ang sarap tanawin ang nakaraan. Ang sarap muling maging bata. Ang sarap muling maging inosente...

Sabay-sabay nating awitin ang awiting ating kinalakhan:

Pagmulat ng mata,
Langit nakatawa
Sa batibot,
Sa batibot
Tayo nang magpunta
Tuklasin sa batibot
Ang tuwa, ang saya

Doon sa batibot
Tayo na, tayo na
Mga bata sa batibot
Maliksi, masigla. (2x)

Dali, sundan natin
Ang ngiti ng araw
Doon sa batibot (2x)

Tayo nang magpunta
Tuklasin sa batibot
Ang tuwa, ang saya

Doon sa batibot
Tayo na, tayo na
Mga bata sa batibot
Maliksi, masigla. (2x)

Live Show: Torohan!

TEXT MESSAGE: 3:30PM

Kuya: Bloiggster, nasan ka?

Bloig: Out of town pero pauwi na din. Why?

Kuya: May nameet akong German sa gym. Gusto mo mag3some?

Bloig: Ah talaga? uhmmm ayoko ng 3some eh. Saka ayoko makipagsex. Mag motel na lang kayo.

Kuya: Ayaw nya magmotel or inn e. Takot. Discreet kasi.

Bloig: Ano itsura?

Kuya: mga 5'9 or 5'10. Okay naman yung katawan. Nag-gygym eh.

Bloig: So, wala kayo place para magsex? Sige, papayag ako na you use my place pero you have to be really quiet tapos i'll just watch.

Kuya: Okay! Will be at your place at 630PM

Bloig: Naku, malayo pa ako.

Kuya: O sige, 8:30PM
_____________________________________

They arrived at 9PM. I later found out that they watched a movie before going to my place.

The German guy wanted me to join but I refused. He even made advances but I declined to answer him back.

So, they ended up having sex infront of me. There was no penetration though since they didn't bring any condom. While uploading my out of town pictures in my Multiply and Facebook, I was also watching them kiss and suck each other. I was like watching a movie but this time, they were right infront of me.

German guy had a Frank and Kuya had a more than average pinoy size.

I kinda enjoyed watching them. I even texted the engkantos about it and twittered it. Hahaha!

They were afraid that I might take pictures but of course, I could not do that. Some engkantos were even asking me to take a video! But I didn't. I just watched. MAINGGIT SILA! Hahaha!

After some none-penetration pumping actions, sucking and jacking off, Kuya came. German guy wanted to come and wanted to lick my nipples and body while he cums. Okay, so I obliged. He kept on saying that I don't like him. As much as I wanted to join them, I can't because I didn't feel like joining a 3some!

So there was I, laying on my bed while he licked my body and Kuya was sucking him til he came.

Of course I had to cum so I allowed him to jack me off! Hahaha!

Shucks! Im so landi! Hahaha! It was fun watching them though!

Ginigising Niya Ako

Mahirap gumising sa umaga lalo na't sobrang sarap matulog. Kumbaga, extension ang kailangan.

Pero ngayon, medyo hindi na ako nageextend ng tulog. Bakit? Kasi may inaabangan na ako sa telebisyon na magbibigay sa akin ng inspirasyon! HAHAHA! Char!

Never naman ako naging fan ng Unang Hirit sa GMA 7. Usually, Umagang Kay Ganda sa ABS-CBN ang pinapanuod ko paggising sa umaga. Nakokornihan kasi ako sa morning show ng GMA lalo na't andon si Jolens.

Pero isang araw, dahilan sa ang UKG ay pinapalitan ng Cebuano morning show na Maayong Buntag Kapamilya pagsapit ng 630 AM, napag-isipan ko na tignan ang GMA-7. And lo and behold, tumambad sa aking boob-tube ang isang lalaking chinito, may tikas ang pangangatawan, nakangiti at kinakausap ang puppet na si Arn-arn. At first di ko alam kung sino siya dahil first time ko siyang makita sa Unang Hirit. I found him really cute lalo na pag nagsmile. Sino kaya siya?

Later on, malalaman ko kay Love Anover na siya pala si JC Tiuseco, ang First Pinoy Sole Survivor!

Ay siya pala yon? I never knew na ganon pala siya ka-cute! Hehehe!

Naalala ko tuloy na naging cover siya ng Men's Health Magazine last year. Kaya agad agad ko na hinanap ang issue ko na yon para makita siya. Dati kasi, dedma lang siya sa akin. Pero nung nakita ko sya sa tv na gumagalaw, ngumingiti at nagsasalita, halos ayaw ko nang bitiwan ang panunuod ng Unang Hirit! Parang ayaw ko na tuloy pumasok sa trabaho!

Siya ang aking bagong crush sa tv ngayon- unang una sa lahat,dahil siya ay chinito- ang aking weakness!

Siya ang dahilan kung bakit gumigising ako nang maaga para manuod ng Unang Hirit. (Pasensya na sa UKG, wala silang cute na co-host eh).

Siya ngayon ang aking pantasya! HAHAHAHA!

ASL and stats please...

I've been chatting for more than a decade.

For sure, a part of what I am right now is because of ICQ, MIRC and YM.

Without the chatrooms in the late 90's, I would have not probably met the people whom I had my first sexual encounters with: the person who first tasted and swallowed my cum and the person who taught me about sex.

Without the chatrooms, I would have not probably met two of my ex's.

Without the chatrooms, I would have not met Centurion, the leader of Engkantadya.

Without the chatrooms, I would have not become a "slut" during my younger days.
_______________________________________

I was a chat addict. I would be up late at night chatting with different kinds of people. I was an ICQ and MIRC tambay, I was a popular member of a Yahoo chatroom, and I was known to be a showboy years ago.

I'm not exactly sure what attracted me to chatting but it did become a venue where I was able to express myself to strangers. There was no fear of judgment especially when I told them my story.

_______________________________________

After the demise of the YM personal chatrooms, chatters like me looked for alternatives. MIRC became famous once again. Channels like Bi-Manila, Pinoysex, and Salsalan suddenly rose from the dead. But the chatters's interest on these channels would wane once again.

The culprit: GUYS4MEN!

This new website wasn't just a social networking site. It was a site complete with chatrooms, forums and messaging functions.

The website's popularity among the gay and bi population went up.

People were creating profiles, sending messages to guys they like and created different forums for discussion.

Chatting was not just limited to the website's chatroom but also in the site's different forums created by individual users.

ASL became a regular fixture in messages sent to people in the website. Then followed by a query asking for your stats which includes height, weight and other physical attributes.

Guys4men became the most popular dating site among the gay and bi population of the Philippines. You can just search for the person in your location or people who like you, and alas, you may have your sex partner or life partner infront of your computer screen.

______________________________________

But G4M is not just meant for dating or sex because I have met good friends through this site.

Thanks to the thread created by Centurion in 2007, I met the Engkantos.

With the demise of G4M and the rise of PR, I'm sure that there will be more chatting and dating in cyberworld.

As for me, I am already contented with my Engkanto friends, Blogspot buddies and Twitter friends.

No more ASL and stats for me.

I'm hanging up my chatting jersey for now...

San Ka Nag-aral?

Everytime you open the classified ads section in the Manila Bulletin or the Philippine Daily Inquirer, for sure, there would be job ads saying that they prefer graduates of UP, Ateneo, La Salle, UST and other reputable schools.

What's with the school thing among companies? Does it really matter if you come from one of these top 4 universities in the country? Why do students who come from the big 4 enjoy such privilege when it comes to job-hunting?

Feeling ko lang ay prejudicial ang ganitong uri ng advertisement dahil lumalabag ito sa karapatan ng bawat tao na equal access sa pagkuha ng trabaho. Paano na kung hindi ako graduate ng isa sa mga unibersidad na ito pero nasa akin naman ang qualifications and skills na hinahanap ng kompanya na nag-advertise? Mag-aapply pa kaya ako? Baka kasi ma-reject nila agad ako 'pag nakita nila na galing lang ako sa isa sa mga diploma mill universities.

Hindi ba't unfair ang ganitong uri ng pagkuha ng empleyado? Paano na ang self-esteem ng mga graduates ng ibang kolehiyo at unibersidad? Paano na ang kanilang kinabukasan?

________________________________

Hindi ko din naman masisisi ang ilang kompanya sa pagiging prejudicial pagdating sa pagkuha ng empleyado. Sadyang mahirap naman talaga ang makapasok sa apat na unibersidad na nabanggit. At talaga namang mataas ang kalidad ng edukasyon na ibinibigay ng mga nasabing eskwelahan. Sa katunayan, ang apat na unibersidad na ito ang napabilang sa pinakamagagaling na unibersidad sa buong mundo.

Subalit hindi nangangahulugan na ang lahat ng magagaling ng tao ay naka-concentrate lamang sa apat na unibersidad na ito. Batay na din sa aking karanasan, may mga magagaling din na produkto ang ilang mga unibersidad hindi lamang sa Kamaynilaan kung hindi sa ibang bahagi din ng bansa:

Bantog ang mga produktong inhinyero ng Mapua, magagaling ang mga dentista na mula sa UE, sikat ang mga abogado na galing sa San Beda, mahusay magturo ang mga gurong mula sa PNU, magagaling ang mga produkto ng medisina sa UERM. At may mga kurso naman na tanging sa CSB at UA&P lamang makikita.

Sa bandang Visayas at Mindanao naman ay matatagpuan ang University of San Carlos, Silliman University at Mindanao State University na lumilikha din ng magagaling na produkto sa iba't ibang larangan.

Ngunit sa huli ay nakasalalay pa din sa indibidwal kung siya ay magiging matagumpay sa larangan na kanyang pinasok. Halimbawa, graduate ka nga ng UP pero sobrang pabaya ka naman sa trabaho, paano ka uunlad niyan di ba? Ikumpara mo ito sa isang tao na galing sa di masyadong sikat na kolehiyo pero todo sikap sa trabaho. Sino kaya sa kanila ang mas magtatagumpay at aangat sa buhay?

It all boils down to one's attitude ang work ethic. Knowledge gained from college matters but one's character would matter the most when it comes to being successful in life and at the workplace.

Halalan Fever!

Isang taon mula ngayon, magaganap na naman ang isang makasaysayang halalan sa ating bansa.

Sa ika-10 ng Mayo, 2010, muli na naman tayong pipili ng bagong pangulo ng Pilipinas. Muli na naman tayong mangingilatis ng mga pulitiko na para bagang namimili tayo ng isda, gulay at karne sa palengke. Kung sino ang hindi bilasa at hindi bulok, 'yun ang ating pipiliin.

Ayon sa balita, iba't ibang grupo na ang naglunsad ng mga kampanya upang masimulan na ang tinatawag na voter education campaign kahit malayo pa ang eleksyon. Naandyan ang grupo ni running priest, Father Robert Reyes na kahapon ay nagpatawag ng press conference at ang media giant na ABS-CBN na naglunsad ng kampanya nilang Boto Mo, I-Patrol Mo: Ako ang Simula.

Ang target daw ng mga kampanyang ito ay ang mga kabataang Pilipino. Patuloy daw kasi na naniniwala ang mga taong nasa likod ng mga kampanya na ang mga kabataang boboto sa eleksyon sa 2010 ay hindi pa nababahiran ng dumi ng pulitika sa Pilipinas. Sila ang pag-asa upang magkaroon ng mga matitinong pinuno ang ating bansa. Kumbaga, dahil sila ang mga ideyalista, siguradong hindi sila pasisilaw sa 3 G's ng mga trapo, ang guns, goons and gold.

Bilang isang botante na palaging bumoboto ng mga talunang karapat-dapat sa posisyon, hinahangad ko pa din ang pagbabago sa ating bansa partikular sa uri ng pulitika na namamayani dito.

At tulad ng mga organisasyong naglunsad ng kampanya ukol sa halalan, naniniwala ako na ang kabataang Pilipino, kung kanila lamang gagamitin nang maayos ang karapatang iniatang sa kanila ng ating konstitusyon, ay maaaring makapagdulot ng pagbabago sa Pilipinas kung pipili sila ng mga pinuno na tapat at hindi lamang hanggang lip-service ang kaya.

Kaya't kung 'di ka pa nakarehistro bilang isang botante sa COMELEC, simulan na ang pagpapatala sa pinakamalapit na opisina nito o kaya nama'y sa pinakamalapit na embahada ng Pilipinas saan ka man sa mundo hanggang Oktubre ng taong ito.

Salamat, Mommy

SA UGOY NG DUYAN

Sanay di nagmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang akoy nasa duyan

Sanay di nagmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang akoy nasa duyan

Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing
Ang bantay koy tala, ang tanod koy bituin
Sa piling ni nanay, langit ay buhay
Puso kong may dusa sabik sa ugoy ng duyan

Sanay di nagmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni nanay
Nais kong maulit ang awit ni inang mahal
Awit ng pag-ibig habang akoy nasa duyan

Sa aking pagtulog na labis ang himbing
Ang bantay koy tala, ang tanod koy bituin
Sa piling ni nanay, langit ay buhay
Puso kong may dusa sabik sa ugoy ng duyan

Nais kong matulog sa dating duyan ko, inay
Oh! inay
___________________________________

Sadyang hindi kailanman masusukat ang pagmamahal ng isang ina sa kanyang anak. Simula nang tayo ay kanyang ipinagbuntis, iniluwal at kinalinga hanggang sa lumaki, ang bawat sandali na iyon ay hinding hindi matutumbasan ng kahit anumang kayamanan sa mundo.

Naaalala ko pa ang kuwento nang ako ay isinalang ng aking ina ilang taon na ang nakakalipas. Halos ikamatay nya daw ang panganganak sa akin. Nag 50/50 daw ang kanyang buhay kung kaya't kinailangan pa siyang isugod sa Medical City at salinan ng dugo para mabuhay.

Sa tuwing naaalala ko ito, sadyang napapag-isip ako. Paano kaya kung hindi naligtas ang nanay ko sa panganganak? Ano na kaya ang nangyari sa akin? Magiging maganda kaya ang pagpapalaki sa akin kung wala siya? Mapupunta ba ako kung nasan ako ngayon kung wala siya?

Hindi maging madali ang maging anak ng aking nanay. Nung bata kami ay sobrang higpit niya. Bawal kami maglaro sa labas ng bahay na walang pahintulot sa kanya. Bawal din kumain ng mga street food tulad ng dirty ice cream, fishballs at kung anu ano pa na makikita sa kalye. Dapat, matutulog kami ng tanghali lalo na tuwing Sabado at Linggo. Bawal makipaglaro sa mga bata na madudungis. Bawal maglaro sa ulan kahit lahat ng mga pinsan ko ay naliligo na sa ulan. Hindi puedeng manuod ng telebisyon kung may pasok sa eskwela maliban na lang kung ito ay balita. Dapat pagsapit ng alas-8 ng gabi ay tulog na kaming magkapatid. Dapat ay mag-aral nang mabuti. Lagi kaming makakakuha ng sermon lalo na ako kung mawawala ako sa honor roll pagsapit ng recognition day ng eskwelahan.

Bagaman naging istrikto ang aking nanay sa mga bagay na ito ay hinayaan pa din naman niyang makapaglibang kami bilang mga bata. Tulad ng aking nabanggit dati, nagsawa kami ng aking kapatid sa iba't ibang laruan. Hindi niya din ipinagkait sa amin ang mga pagkain na paborito namin. Hangga't maaari, gagawa siya ng paraan upang hindi kami sumala ng pagkain kahit na siya mismo ay maghirap upang mapagsilbihan ang kanyang tatang at mga kapatid.

Nagkaroon din ng mga panahon na naging mahirap ang buhay. Nawalan ng trabaho ang aking ama at kinailangang maghigpit ng sinturon. Nakayanan naman namin ito. Nagkaroon din ng pagkakataon na naging seryoso ang sakit ng mommy. Halos isang taon din siyang naghirap sa sakit na iyon. Pawang pananampalataya lamang ang nakagamot sa kanya. Kung kaya't matindi ang kanyang bilin lagi sa aming magkapatid na huwag na huwag makakalimot sa Diyos.

Sa tuwing kami ay aalis ng bahay o kaya'y maglalakbay ay pinababaunan niya ako lagi ng dasal. Sinasabi niya na wag na wag ko daw kakalimutang dasalin ang panalangin na iyon na itinuro pa sa kanya ng kanyang ina. Hanggang ngayon ay kabisado ko pa din ang dasal na ito:

"Diyos ama naiwan, Diyos anak nasa daan, Mahal na Birhen ang daratnan"

Sa kasalukuyan, medyo may edad na ang aking ina. Subalit hindi pa din nawawala ang kanyang ganda at saya. Mahilig pa din magpaalala lalo na't nasa malayo akong lugar. (Pero mukhang gusto pa din niya ata ako papuntahin sa mas malayong lugar). Kaya nga't pag nagkakasakit ako ay di ko na sinasabi sa kanya dahil matindi itong mag-alala. 'Pag nag-alala pa naman iyon ay nagagalit at nagsesermon dahil sa nerbyos. Pero sanay na ako. Sa tinagal ba naman ng aming pagsasama eh minsan, immune na ako sa mga sermon niya.

Alam ko na ang regalo ko sa kanya na trip to Bangkok apat taon na ang nakakaraan ay kulang pa sa lahat ng mga ginawa niya para sa akin, maging ang hikaw na binigay ko sa kanya noong Pasko ay hindi sapat o kaya nama'y ang pabulto bulto kong pagbibigay sa kanya ng mga bagay o salapi kapag naglalambing ay kulang na kulang upang matumbasan ang kanyang ginawang pagpapasakit para sa akin at sa aking kapatid. Kung kaya't sobra sobra akong nagpapasalamat na siya ang aking naging ina.

Sa lahat ng pagkalinga, pag-aaruga at pagmamahal, Salamat ng marami, MOMMY. :)

Lunch Thoughts

While having lunch today, certain thoughts came to me. I contemplated on serious stuff while eating alone.

I'm kinda getting tired of these thoughts because I always think that I have no direction in life.

True, I've been doing this job for the past so many years already. In fact, I could close my eyes and commit no mistake while doing it. In spite of all the achievements and success, I've always felt that there's something lacking.

I thought of my dad when he was at this age. I was kinda surprised with what he had achieved at that time after coming from a poor family.

He was able to build a house for his family, he had a stable job and he was able to send my brother and I to a good school. He was even earning less than what I am earning right now. (but of course the standard of living at that time was way lower than today)

When I see some of my classmates who were once hooligans in school and see how much they have achieved, I can't help but be envious.

I really don't know if the path I took is really the right one. I know that I have touched a thousand lives. I know that I was able to make a difference. I know that I have gained friends for the rest of my life because of what I did. But have I provided myself with anything that would make my parents proud of me? (knowing that their definition of success is mainly seen through material wealth). Do I have enough savings that would help me out when I lose my job?

The answer is a BIG NO!

I don't have my own house. I don't have my own car. I don't have my own properties. If I'll probably compute my assets and liabilities, the latter would definitely weigh more.

I would often think of switching career. Maybe that way, my parents would be prouder of me and I would be able to come up with the material wealth that they are looking for.

The problem is, what industry would hire me? I've been in this field for so many years! I really don't know if I could do something else. In fact, I would always joke around that if I don't get a job when I go home to Manila, i would just resort to selling my meat so that I could sustain my addiction to gym and pay for the bills.

Sigh...I really don't know what's next for me.

I'm a lost soul...

LAW-bat

FLASHBACK:

Religion class in high school:
We were asked to write our own epitaph. I could still remember what I wrote:

Here lies Bloiggster, a lawyer who served the less fortunate.

Senior Year JS Prom:

I was asked to write then read the class prophecy for our batch during prom. I prophesied that in 2020, I will be a lawyer in government.

UPCAT Application:

I clearly remembered the courses I ticked: all pre-law courses

UPCAT result:
waitlisted: Political Science

qualified: Social Sciences

UP Enrolment
I was asked which branch of Social Sciences I wanted to take up: Behavioral which is pre-med or Area which is pre-law. I chose the latter.

Sophomore year:
Transferred campus: From Manila, I went to Diliman. My new course: History, pre-law again.

Senior year:
Friends were taking law entrance exams everywhere. I didn't. I can't remember why I did not join the bandwagon.

Two Years after college graduation:
Entered San Beda Law School. Expectations were high since my entrance exam result showed a SUPERIOR grade. (I still have that result tucked in my drawer back home)

Dropped out even before the prelim exams.

Reason: school was too far, long commute made me sick almost every week. not used to reading those SCRA's and memorizing word for word. In other words, I was lazy to study again. Asked permission from dad if I could quit law school. He allowed me.

A Year After Quitting Law School:
Decided to take the Ateneo Law School Entrance Exam. Wanted to go back to law school. I passed!

Decided not to enrol because of work.

Year 2007
A friend and mentor from work kept on encouraging me to go back to law school and fulfill my dream as a kid. Thought about it but decided not to pursue.

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Looking back at these thoughts made me think. Is it really my destiny to become a lawyer?

Since high school, I have always wanted to become one. Relatives were so keen on seeing the first lawyer in the family. They say I reason out quite well when I'm in trouble. Expectations were high. In fact, my parents were kinda bragging to friends that I'll be taking up law once I finish my undergrad in UP.

They were so proud of me when I showed them the result of my San Beda entrance exam. I know they were disappointed when I dropped out. That's why I decided to take the Ateneo exam.

After finding out that I passed, they were even prouder because a friend from UP who took the same exam failed to make it. They thought she was smarter than I was. But who passed? It was I! hehehe!

Unfortunately, I disappointed them once again when I decided not to enrol at the Ateneo.

Years after doing odd jobs, a mentor and friend asked me what I really wanted in life. I told her that I really wanted to become lawyer since I was a kid. I told her my history and she encouraged me to go back to law school. That was 2 years ago. I have not thought of going back 'til today.

I really don't know why I thought of it right now. Maybe because my future is bleak? In four weeks, I'll be going back to Manila with so many uncertainties. I am still looking for a job and I do hope that I'll get one when I get back.

If I go back to law school, which of course won't happen this year, questions will definitely abound:

• Who'll pay for it? Definitely not my parents!
• If indeed I'll go back, will I be ready emotionally, physically and financially? It's so expensive to go to school nowadays.
• Am I ready to be classmates with the young ones?
• Which law school should I go to?

Sigh....

Ang gulo ng utak ko ngayon...AMBOT!

Long Weekend

FRIDAY

It was a long weekend. Plans were made with friends as to what we’re gonna do for those 3 days.

Friday was reserved for the beach. We hired a boat that brought us to this island that’s between Cebu and Bohol.

I’ve been there thrice but it has never failed to capture my imagination. The white beach, the clear waters and the serenity of the place just amazes me.

Just like any of my beach adventures, I frolicked for a few minutes in the water then laid on the sand to get a tan. (Nognog na naman ako! Hehehe)

SATURDAY

Saturday was meant for the gym, Wolverine and a nightcap.

After working out at the gym, my friends and I watched The X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I enjoyed the movie. Being a Hugh Jackman fan, I totally liked how the director showed us how Wolverine started out as a hero and how his relationship with his brother, Sabertooth, turned sour. Hugh is really meant for that role.

I just have one question though, why were they part of the American Civil War and the Vietnam War when they are both Canadians? Hmmmm…..

After the movie, we decided to chill at the newest coffee shop from Manila to hit Cebu. We probably stayed there for 2 hours before deciding to sing at the nearest Karaoke Place.

As usual, I sang my regular repertoire of love songs. (Hopeless romantic talaga ang lolo!)

Went home at 2AM.

SUNDAY

Went to the gym early. There were so few people that morning. Everyone was busy watching the Pacquiao-Hatton match. Since I didn’t have pay-per-view, internet connection at home or money to pay for the live viewing at cinemas, I opted to watch the match on free TV which for sure was super delayed.

At 11:45, I got a text from a friend saying that Pacquiao won via TKO in the second round. Totally surprising since there was so much hype about Hatton before the match.

I was too excited to watch Pac-man stop the Hitman. I immediately went home hoping that in 30 minutes or so, GMA 7 would broadcast the match. Unfortunately, I had to wait til 2PM to see how Hatton was demolished by Pacquiao.

Manny’s victory gave so much pride to Filipinos around the world as seen in TV Patrol’s report last night.

“Iba ka talaga, Manny!”


It was a great 3-day weekend.

Disconnected

It's been a week now since we lost our internet connection at home here in Cebu. According to the Globelines hotline, their system is having problems in the Visayas and Mindanao area. That was Tuesday. I called again yesterday and the same recording greeted me. I talked to a CSR and asked him why was Globelines taking so long to fix the problem in our area. I even told him that there are areas in Cebu that has Globelines connections already including our office and the free wi-fi areas in Ayala Center.

These CSR's are not given proper information by their people in the field. He just told me to monitor our connection. Their technical crew in Cebu is trying its best to solve the problem. I told him that eversince we got Globelines as our ISP, it's service has been very disappointing. They act so slowly on customer complaints! I was so sorry for the CSR who got my call coz he experienced my rudeness over the phone because of their Cebu technical people's incompetence! Bloiggster was already an irate customer!

Sunday is about to end and we still haven't gotten back our connection. I will really go ballistic tomorrow if we still don't have internet!
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Eversince the interruption of internet service at home, I have become totally disconnected to the cyberworld. I have not been able to regularly update my Twitter and Facebook, which I do everyday and almost every hour. My pet is almost dying in pet society. My engkanto crew in restaurant city are most probably dead by now. I have not been able to write any blog entry since Friday. (my other blogs were written at work). I wasn't able to immediately upload our beach trip last Friday as promised to friends. I even failed to greet my cousin happy birthday last week. And a lot of things have happened online without me knowing it.

I am totally out of the loop.

I never knew that friends have decided to stop blogging due to different reasons until I went to an internet cafe last Saturday morning to check on my blog and email. Things have changed online. While I was browsing the blogs and twits of people, there was a sudden gloom that encroached me when I read the events that have transpired. It was totally depressing. I'm just glad I had a form of entertainment courtesy of one flirty blogger! (I wont name names. hahaha!).

I felt so disconnected!

One of the reasons why I started writing in blogspot is because my friends are here as well. It feels weird to be left alone in blogosphere by people who inspired me to start writing in this website. (as mentioned before, I have other blogs in other websites but the entries there are purely wholesome and have nothing to do with my PLU life). Right now, I don't know if I should go on writing or just become a mere spectator to other people's blogs. Hmmm... I'll just see in the succeeding days.

I just hope that these people would overcome whatever's happening to their personal lives.

(I am not the type who would ask questions. If they voluntarily give info, then I'll thank them for that; If not, that's fine. It's their life. Hindi ako tsismoso eh)

Since I am still disconnected, this would be my last entry for now until I get my internet connection at home or I am inspired to write something at work in the next few days.
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Sana naman magkaron na kami ng internet connection bukas...