she wanted to talk..
really..
but she jus didn't know..
how to..

so she sat on her bed..
crying..
not knowing who to..
talk to..

she wants a shoulder..
instead of..
her pillows..
to cry on..

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY IN ADVANCE!!

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY KARTIKA!!


i'm getting quite tired.. tep briefing is coming up in a week's time.. i'm not sure whether i'm looking forward to it.. i think i'm getting a bit stress.. cos every night when i dreamn.. its either about my work or about school.. i don't see myself enjoying in my dream..

walking PSC.. and they were showing part of BEAUTY WORLD.. i want to go and watch!! maybe i'll go get the tickets soon.. oh wells.. see how.. anyway.. there is a song that they sang.. and these words caught my attention..

'Why did i fall in love?? maybe it wasn't meant for me..'


oh wells.. two things made me happy today.. that i was able to celebrate children's day with the kids.. and talking to my instructor over lesson.. i guess that was the time where i forgot all the problems that i had..

anyway.. i guess i don't want to think of anything anymore.. i jus need a rest.. oh wells..



all i wanted was a hug..
to make me feel better..
to let me know that you are there..
cos i was really feeling very down..

yesterday night was becoming the hiong part of work.. where the churning out of report was a problem as usual once again.. since when there wasn't a problem?? hmmmm..

today is the most hiong day of work.. positive and negative.. slacked the morning.. doing a bit here and there.. to only kena like crap in the afternoon when the boss comes in..

so the bosses decided to bring dawn and i to their every friday meeting.. i thought it was a good idea at first.. but the moment i sat down in the meeting room.. i was against the good idea at first.. didn't know half the ppl in the room.. only knew alvin.. ok.. i wouldn't say i know know alvin.. but yah.. i've seen him once..

then i left the room for about 15min when one of my bosses said that my chart was wrongly done.. and the receptionist at the place i was at.. wasn't very friendly when i asked for paper.. cos all she did was point.. and i was looking at the wrong place.. so nevermind..

after i've finished drawing.. went back to the meeting room.. it looked somewhat emptier.. but it was still as stressful.. and when they all looked at the report.. i nearly died.. i'm so going need to start on report earlier next week.. cos i'm going to have quite a few problems once again.. so what's new?? i hope its the last report i have to do.. or i'll freak..

so after awhile.. the meeting grew boring.. cos it was none of my concern.. and they couldn't agree amongst themselves before they presented themselves.. so after much knowing i was being stared at.. i made eye contact and rolled my eyes at alvin.. and i guess he knew what i meant..

while all the nonsense were going across the length of the table.. dawn, alvin and i were having our eye contact at the breadth of the table.. it was quite funny.. cos we all understood what the 3 of us were saying through our eyes..

then came isaac.. never seen him.. only spoken to him over the phone quite a few times this week.. cos he has finally came back from his 2 weeks leave.. and i thought someone else was isaac cos of i asked dawn and some personal reasons.. .. and dawn said yes when i asked her about the identity of the wrong isaac.. (but she thought i was referring to the actual isaac).. then when someone else at the end of my row started talking and sounded more of the isaac that i talked to on the phone.. did i realise that it is isaac.. found out due to the same personal reasons..

thankfully dawn and i could leave the meeting early so that we could make a trip somewhere to collect some letters and head back to office.. anyway.. it started to rain very heavily on the way back to office and there was a bad jam.. but that was jus a minor part of the story.. got 'godma' to come down and pay the cab fare cos the jam cost made the taxi fare increase by 2 times.. but that isn't the main story either.

went back to office.. cleared up.. my dad came to fetch.. and dropped dawn off at toa payoh.. and on the way home.. my phone rang.. and i looked at the number.. and i was like 'omg.. after office hour already.. why this number call me??!!' it was 7 plus.. earlier than usual.. but still.. so nevermind..

i picked up the call knowing that it was isaac.. but this isaac.. knowing that he was calling me.. happily go and drink water after he said 'hello..' so i thought what happened on the other side or is he trying to play a prank on me.. so it was like this

me: hello... hello isaac??
isaac: yah.. wait ah.. drinking water..
me: -_-".. so yah.. what's up??
isaac: no lah.. what school are you studying in now?
me: NYP
isaac: oh.. what course?
me: banking and financial services
isaac: oh.. same as denise right??
me: no.. hers is accounting and finace..
isaac: oh.. got difference..
me: yah..
isaac: so which year are you in now?
me: year 2
*what's this guy up to sia.. asking so much qns*
isaac: oh.. year 2.. so now you are on holiday?
me: yah.. i'm on holiday..
isaac: when your holiday end??
me: 9th oct..
isaac: oh.. your holiday only 2 weeks??
me: no lah.. end of aug i started.. jus that i was working somewhere else..
isaac: oh.. what were you working as??
me: sales..
*where is this conversation leading to man..*
isaac: oh..
me: yah..
*weird silence*
me: so what are you doing in office so late at night?
isaac: oh.. i need to do 2 reports.. one for ___ and another for the contractors..
me: oh..
*the next few lines.. we were talking about work and our bosses and he was preaching about he has good bosses and how you have to enjoy work.. and i was talking about seeing my nightmare 5 days a week..*
isaac: anyway.. jus to ask you.. whether you are interested in a data entry job?
me: no way.. i don't want to be employed to do data entry..
isaac: no lah.. not you.. got any of your friends or relatives..
me: i can help you check it out..
*my dad met me at the lift.. so i told him to go up first since i was on the phone*
isaac: oh?? where are you??
me: downstairs my house..
isaac: so fast??
me: yah..
isaac: where do you stay?
me: tpy..
*i think i'm giving away too may details..*
isaac: oh.. very near your site office at kallang..
me: yah.. its near.. but its not at kallang.. macpherson road..
isaac: yah.. noel building..
me: yah..
*duh.. i work there.. how can i not know??*

anyway.. so we talked awhile more.. until cannot talk already.. but the ending wasn't so much.. all about the data entry.. and the whole conversation was 8 minutes long.. omg.. i nearly died lah.. i felt so stalked after that.. seriously.. haha..

went up to the floor that i stay.. and called dawn immediately to tell her that isaac called me and i told her the whole conversation.. and i told dawn that i would not pick up his call.. unless its during working hours.. haha..

i guess what was written in the paragraphs up there is confusing.. i guess this whole entry is jus so random.. i wanted to talk it out.. not jus to dawn.. but i guess i couldn't talk it out to anyone else tonight.. so its ok.. everything is up there..

oh wells.. so i guess this is all for this week.. its the only happening day this week.. need to work for 5-10 min tmr.. hopefully not more than that.. other than that.. i don' think i want to talk about anything else.. good night ppl..

to my class ppl.. enjoy class chalet.. i won't be there..




one after another..
i'm too stress..
i don't like the feeling..
i'm sorry..
i jus had to cry..

i think this week has been quite fruitful.. though it was tired.. i've learnt a lot of things..

at work.. my boss told me and dawn more about relationships.. she helped me understand things that i had a lot of questions.. and she helped me understand better.. so it was quite understanding..

also at work.. my boss and dawn listened to what i had to say about family.. i guess it took a load off my chest.. it some how helped me.. and they did tell me what to do.. and ask me what was happening also.. but it was great..

at church today.. it made me see things from different perspectives.. not everyone's family is perfect.. on the outside.. there are many ppl who look as if their families do not face any problems.. but until they talk about it.. do we find that there are this stack of problems there..

like enqi said during main hall to the kids.. adults face a lot of problems in families.. as kids.. you will still face problems.. which i agree.. but kids do not go through that much.. unless they come from broken families which i really pity..

what one of my students was sharing in class made me feel very sad.. i'm not going to share it here.. but the conclusion i can have is that parents have to set a very good example in front of the kids.. giving your children a bad impression would not be very good on the kids.. their outlook in life will be totally different..

i'm jus hoping the kids in my class are always positive.. and they are who they are.. :)


anyway.. on the lighter side.. i've been under the hot sun this whole week.. (mon to fri).. and i've got a tan line of my clothes on me.. i need to go sentosa to do something about it.. anyone wants to join me for a trip to sentosa?? i'm hoping that i can clear the tans before i go back to school..

ok.. i guess that's all for now.. face book is making me a bit tired.. i guess i'll take a step at a time.. :)

i almost drank a bottle of nail polish remover by mistake..

thankfully the smell woke me up..

or i wouldn't have known what will be of me now..

i'm starting to think whether i'm suicidal..

hmmm..

One sees clearly with the heart.

Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.

i've lost energy, time and status..




who am i?

what am i?

today is screwed up day lah.. poor dawn and i faced a bad morning.. but lunch was great.. 1 and 1/2 hours with the boss.. and she treated us lunch.. nice.. and we shared many things.. and i think its a lot that i can learn from her.. :)

had dinner with dawn and leong.. let them get to know one another.. since i talked to each of them about each of them.. (i hope you get what i mean..) but i guess it was good.. tmr i shall ask dawn some secret stuff.. girls talk.. haha..

anyway.. leong bought me 12 doughnuts.. and my mum thought that it was very sweet of him.. haha.. thanks a lot.. made me a lot happier than what happened in the morning..


ok.. i guess that's a short update for now.. getting tired.. report tmr due by 3.30pm.. good night..





For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

ok.. i got a new phone.. after what happened on monday.. i don't think my parents will want me to keep my current phone for long.. so anyway.. got my W880i.. didn't need to pay much.. top up $18.. from $228 to $18.. haha..

nice phone.. but i have to get use to the small key pads.. haha.. having a bit of problems.. but i should be fine with it.. and it takes 30min to charge.. and i think the phone can charge through com.. cos i thought i saw it charging a few times when i connected it to my com to do some stuff.. oh wells..

anyway.. this weekend is suppose to be my rest time.. but i haven't rested.. and i didn't go to suntec for that shoe fair by xodus, hush puppy and i don't know whether there are other brands.. :(

after tmr.. its monday.. another week of havoc.. but fun.. i hope.. :)



For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

i cleared all my modules..

i'm sad..

but..

at least i cleared it..



anyway.. dawn and i were laughing at an e-mail that was sent to me.. my gosh.. the english was bad.. the story was long winded.. but i pitied the girl.. that's why girls.. be careful who you make friends with.. or else.. you'll end up getting raped...


tataz..

caught up with suban yesterday and today over sms.. paiseh.. i didn't realised that i didn't reply your message yesterday.. haha..

anyway.. work today was like stuck in the office except in the morning when i was out in the morning sun.. and at the end of the day.. dawn told me 'i think you have become darker..' CRAP LAH!! i need my sunglasses.. haha.. but not like it can block out all the sun.. BUT STILL!! its so irritating to stare at the sun everytime..

oh wells.. staring at the computer subsequently was a killer for me.. getting the figures and having like 3 hours to churn out a report which is jus plainly figures can drive me nuts.. it was like war seriously.. not a BIG war.. a small one.. which was nicely settled.. haha.. like ah ban said.. its like me to argue to get my point across.. oh wells.. depends on situation lah.. not everytime got mood one lor..

managed to finish work early today.. but not as early as yesterday.. but still.. 7 or 7.30 is good enough.. and did i say.. doing figures like xiao from 1pm to 4pm made me and dawn skip lunch.. sorry dawn.. so thankful that we went to buy bread at 10am.. or else we would have starved and i would not have finished the report..

oh wells.. first time having lunch at 5plus.. it would normally been dinner.. but anyway.. i'm starting to feel hungry now.. but i guess i'll jus skip it.. haha.. getting very sleepy.. i think results are coming out.. shit.. i'm getting the jitters.. AH!! i'm so going to faint.. all the best for results..



HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI!!





For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

4 days of work.. omg.. fun.. but tiring.. i can't imagine that i slept so much on saturday.. close to 10 hours of sleep.. i don't think i even had 10 hours of sleep on weekdays.. haha.. but that's ok lah..

denise left yesterday.. so sad lah.. we have to live without her.. and the 1st day she left.. i had to call her to ask how to operate her excel sheet.. i felt so bad lah.. haha.. but i think i return all my excel back to the teachers already.. i really have to survive with whatever i can remember.. AH!!

anyway.. today's quite a bad day.. especially in the morning.. i couldn't flag a cab.. suddenly occurred to me that i didn't bring out my file.. walked back home to get the file.. took a bus down to royal sporting house to meet denise.. happily plastered my feet cos i had 4 blisters out.. but i jus covered 3..

walked a lot today.. set cab 3 times.. ate a lot too.. until i feel so fat.. i think i need to go on a diet man.. haha.. maybe i should jus skip my dinner at the end of the day.. haha.. talked a lot to dawn.. got to know her a bit better.. which is good.. she got to know me better too.. so that's better..

its been haunting me that results are coming out.. and i can't take it anymore.. i'm feeling quite worried for some papers.. i jus hope all will go well.. i jus want to complete this whole diploma peacefully.. oh wells..

oh yah.. forgot to mention this.. higlight for the week..

i showed dawn and denise some photos in my camera.. and they said that leong looks like tao ze.. omg!! haha.. they said that he is the tanned version of tao ze.. haha.. not bad.. tao ze leh.. haha.. i think kelynn so won't agree to that.. haha..

ok.. i guess that's all.. hopefully i don't get stressed out over the next few days.. friday is coming.. and it won't be TGIF.. its OH NO!! IT'S FRIDAY!! REPORT!! haha..

tataz folks..




For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

2nd day of work yesterday..

it was kinda brain draining in the morning.. omg.. denise and i were like getting confuse over the figures.. i really don't know what i'm going to do when she leaves.. i hope i can manage.. or else.. every thursday night to friday i won't need to sleep already.. haha..

anyway.. my eating times are super irregular besides breakfast.. haha.. my lunch is like 2 or maybe 3.. ok.. rather the same when i was working as sales.. but cos i keep eating before it reaches dinner until i am unable to eat my dinner.. so my stomach growls at around 10pm?? sometimes 11pm??

its back to skipping dinner i guess.. haha.. i ate fish soup for lunch 3 days in a row.. even though sat is not working day.. but i went to search for places.. so i brought my parents to eat fish soup.. haha.. oh wells.. and i get hungry quite easily after lunch.. don't ask me why..

oh wells.. like i said.. work was so brain draining yesterday.. that i fell asleep around 12am plus and then never woke up until 10.30am.. wah.. 10 hours of sleep.. when was the last time i had that kind of sleep?? hmmmmmm...

went shopping jus now.. after all the places i went to search.. shopped at marine parade.. isetan as having sale for ladies blouse.. 3/4 sleeve.. so i bought 1.. $9.. like my mum said.. play play only.. then went to G200 blu to buy a short sleeve shirt.. i quite like it.. haha.. but it was $29.. haha.. later i want to go espirit at orchard to see whether they have the short sleeve blouse that i want.. haha.. oops.. my mum can ask me to go and spend.. haha.. but that means.. my PJC pay has to go to her.. haha.. oh wells.. its ok i guess.. i'm jus hoping that i don't grow fat so that i can still fit in the clothes when i go for IPP.. :P

i'm looking forward to go back to work.. but some part of me wants to laze around.. haha.. but its great experience.. denise.. pls don't leave.. :(






For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

this is going to be a bit longer entry than usual.. haha..

first day at work today..

omg.. i had quite a lot of fun..

though at first was kinda boring.. cos i had to learn what to do.. (which is by staring..) but that's ok.. i think my 2 colleagues are very fun ppl.. :)

the 2 colleagues of mine i met that morning is denise and dawn.. haha.. (i jus realised that their names start with D.. oops.. )

after that the 3 of us headed out for lunch.. and we ate.. and i found out that they eat a lot.. haha.. headed out to alijunied road to look for buildings.. haha.. and guess what?? i knew i was getting blisters already.. (actually i had them in the morning.. but it got worse.. cos i walked a lot..) but so much for blisters.. its worth it..

work is jus so fun!! omg.. but there is quite a lot of work to do.. quite sad that denise is leaving tmr.. so that means i have to take over her work.. haha.. i hope i can cope.. but i think denise is very fun.. and so is dawn.. omg.. they are so friendly..

another colleauge, vivien came later to fetch us and we walked around and i heard many geylang stories.. omg.. haha.. its jus so funny.. i heard her baking is nice.. but i haven't got the chance to try.. maybe soon i hope.. haha.. anyway.. thanks for her coming to fetch us.. got time to rest my legs from those blister pains.. haha.. but when i start walking again.. another blister came out.. so much for new shoes.. to makes things better.. its covered..

I'M BRINGING SLIPPERS TMR!!


so if i go running around the area.. i'll wear slippers.. then back to the office.. change to shoes.. haha.. see how.. i better remember to bring.. oh wells.. drop by shell petrol station behind les crescendo condo to buy hazelnut.. (its a pastry...) anyway.. went back to the office and eat.. and guess what happened?? i found an ant on my food.. and so i told dawn and denise since we were all eating the same thing.. and when i said that.. dawn found an ant too!! and when denise looked at the bag which had the hazelnut.. she found another ant.. wow!! the next moment.. the 3 of us threw away our hazelnuts... haha.. dawn and i felt quite weird after that.. we kept drinking water.. haha..

had something like a meeting at around 6.30pm.. which was often being distracted.. oh wells.. that's what you get when you are tired from running around the area.. i'm so thankful for cars and taxis..

oh wells.. last day for denise tmr.. i have to learn everything from her tmr!! ah.. stress.. oh wells.. i hope everything will be fine.. tataz folks.. :)




i think work will take my mind off things..
i don't think i'll be that emo anymore..
i won't be thinking of you that much already..
but i'll still think of you..
don't worry..
i won't ditch you for work..
though you ditched me for tv.. :(



For Friendships Made and Pleasure Shared.

i looked back to the time we jus started..











and i smiled..

was browsing through some songs on youtube on hairspray.. and i found this song.. like it quite a lot.. haha..


COME SO FAR(GOT SO FAR TO GO)QUEEN LATIFAH, NIKKI BLONSKY,ZAC EFRON AND ELIJAH KELLEY

Hey old friend, let's look back
On the crazy clothes we wore
Ain't it fun to look back
And to see it's all been done before
All those nights together
Are a special memory
And I can't wait for tomorrow
Just as long as you'redancing next to me

'Cause it's so clear
Every yearWe get stronger
What's gone is gone
The past is the past
Turn the radio up
And then hit the gas
'Cause . . .I know we've Come So Far'
But we've Got So Far To Go
I know the road seems long
But it won't be long '
till it's time to go
So, most days we'll take it fast
And some nights lets take it slow
I know we've Come So Far
But baby baby
We've Got So Far To Go

Hey old friend, together
Side by side and year by year
The road was filled with twists and turns
Oh but that's the road that got us here
Let's move past the bad times
But before those memories fade
Let's forgive but not forget
And learn from the mistakes we made

'Cause it's so clear
Every year
We get stronger
So don't give up
Don't say when
And just get back on the road again
'Cause . . .I know we've Come So Far
But we've Got So Far To Go
I know the road seems long
But it won't be long till it'stime to go
So, most days we'll take it fast
And some nights lets take it slow
I know we've Come So Far
Oh but baby, baby
We've Got So Far To Go

Hey old friend come along for the ride
There's plenty of room so jump inside
The highway's rocky every now and then
But it so much better thanwhere I've been
Just keep movin', at your own speed
Your heart is all the compass
you'll ever need
Let's keep cruisin' the road we're on
'Cause the rear view mirror only showswhat's gone, gone, gone

'Cause it's so clear
Every year
We get stronger
So shine that light
Take my hand
And let's dance into tomorrow land
'Cause . . .I know we've Come So Far
But we've Got So Far To Go
I know the road seems long
But it won't be long till it'stime to go
So, most days we'll take it fast
And some nights lets take it slow
I know we've Come So Far
Oh but baby, baby
We've Got So Far To Go

whether they mean what they say..





causes a chain effect..





i really don't know what to say..






its all about assurance..







good night world..

darren and alexstine are going to ireland in half an hour.. and i didn't get to see them off.. its so sad lah.. i hope there won't be much change when they come back 6 months later..

guys.. you'll be greatly missed... i hope the 2 of you see this..


















alexstine, me and darren..



I"LL MISS YOU GUYS!!!!

i'm jus not in the mood..











does anyone know how i feel??

to understand..



doesn't need so many steps..



its whether you understand...



or you don't..



do you now understand??

its no where near misunderstanding..





its jus purely not understanding..