My Mum's Day

It was my dear Mums birthday a few days ago.
Its always such an important day for me, and obviously for her too, but I always want her to have the best day she can!!
This year was a little different, as my poor Dad has really hurt his finger at work. Shattered the bone in the tip, lost his nail and has quite a severe cut (one that probably should have been stitched). Given he has that, and also an ear, nose and throat infection, he is like a bear with a sore thumb ( or middle finger haha), so things were pretty quiet.

We celebrated as a family, at the park , for a yummy lunch in the glorious sunshine. The kids had a ball, it was relaxing for everyone and I really hope that it was everything Mum had hoped for!!

As I was writing in her birthday card, I couldn't help but get a bit emotional.
I always try and use this occasion to tell her just how much she means to me and my family, and how special a person she really is!!
Its true, my Mum is my best friend, well second only to my husband, and she really is such a dedictated, loving mother.

She is honest, but tactful.
Firm but nice.
Affectionate and cuddly
Selfless and generous
And everything and more that I hope to be.

I really have had the best teacher for being a good Mum, and if I am only a fraction as good as she is to us, I will be happy and so will our children.

My Mum returned to work when I was just 9 months old. Full time, and not by choice.
It  was a sign of the times, and the extremely high interest rates!! ( my darling Dad also working 4 jobs at once!)
And they did it all for us. So that my sister and I could have the things we had wanted.
So we could do the things that other kids were.
So I could do those bootscootin' classes in the Undercover area after school.
So I could do Brownies and Guides, play netball and basketball, work at Target after school and weekends.
So I could play State and Country Week basketball, and have new sneakers to play with.
Mum would always come along as the Parent Superviser, and I loved it!!
She took 8 weeks off work , used up her long service leave, to come into my class , everyday in year 2.
Why? Because, I , Liz the Year one Dux of the Class, refused to go to school!! Absolutely refused. Tantrum city it was. ( I had a very frightening teacher and she was picking on people in the class and I didn't like it, justified behaviour I say , haha)
All for me.

In high school, you know the house that everyone wants to stay at?
The Mum that everyone loves?
That was my Mum. That was my house.
I was always having people stay over.
Always having people get ready for a night out at our house. Predrinks and the like.
And I remember my best friend always fibbing to Mum that she had eaten. Because she hadn't of course, and we so responsibly thought 'Eating was Cheating'.
"Yes Mrs D, I had a pie at home"
Because she knew that if she hadn't of said that, we would have had to sit down to a 3 course meal before venturing to that gathering or party.

She has always supported, with due caution, all my crazy ideas!!
To start a business and open my own salon at the age of 20!!
To keep said business when I had my first child. Then my second and third.
To take our first child to Europe for 3 weeks.
To buy our first house and then upgrade to something new.

The first place Noel and I ever lived was in my parents granny flat. We were there for years. And loved every minute.
It was small and cosy and we made it our happy home.
All thanks to my parents.

With my Mum and sister on Mothers Day , 2012

All I can hope is that am a good a mother as her. That my kids feel the same about me as I do about my Mum.
That they love me as much, they appreciate me as much, and they are as grateful as I am.

So this post is dedicated to my dearest Mother.
Where would we be without you?
Happy Birthday Mum xo

I urge you all to tell your loved ones , just the way you feel about them. Life is too short and too precious not to!

Testing

Having little kiddies, at times, can be rather...................testing, to say the very least! Ohh don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my kids, as does any mother, but I am sure every Mum or parent can relate.

I have always thought myself to be a firm Mum. Well at least that is what I would hope. I don't want to be the nasty Hitler Mum, but for my children to know that what Mum says, goes, and when I am mad, then its a bad thing, hehe. I guess I just don't want to be a pushover. I want my childrent to speak nicely to me, and most importantly , others. I want them to use their manners, all the time, and there is no telling me what to do, I am the boss, and they have to know that!
Sounds easy enough? Pffft yeah right!
I have lost count the amount of times my parents have said to me over the years of growing up " When we had you girls , we weren't handed a rule book" and they were so right.
Ohh sure, there are plenty of books out there , plenty of people thinking that their way is the right way and trying to bully you into changing your opinions by reading their work, but who's to say  that what they are doing or what they are saying is right?
In my opinion, every child is different. Every child has a different personality and deals with situations in a different way, and as a Mother or Father, you know what is best for your own children.
Having said that, I also feel, especially having twins, that regardless of the differences in your children, you need to be consistant and stay that way.

Now, please don't think that I have a high opinion of my kids and the way they behave, because I don't , far from it. I hate to say it, but I think I am their own worst critic.
Where has this all come from you ask?
Why the terrible 2's of course!!
Max and Lacey are nearly 2 (next week) and boy don't we know it!!
I now know how spoilt we were with Stella, and at the time, were totally oblivious. She was quiet, calm, content and only ever needed to be told once.
She would go into a cupboard and I would say NO, and she would never do it again. True Story!! We never needed child locks on any cupboards until Max and Lacey began to crawl!
She followed routines and thrived on them.
She was a breeze to toilet train, and did so quite early, even for nights.
When we put her in a bed, at 19 months, we may  have had one or 2 nights where she would get out and come out, not up to 70 times like we have had lately .....

Is it her personality, or our parenting style at the time?

Then came the two beautiful bundles.
Gosh they are strong willed, determined and stubborn. Where they get those attributes from I will never know ?! haha
We now have child locks EVERYWHERE, I am constantly , constantly cleaning up little messes all over the house. Bath toys scattered around, toilet rolls unravelled, and just today, a large bucket of sand all over the floor (while I was in their room putting away their clothes).
They have also made the School drop off and pick up run and absolute nightmare. Lacey is that independent that she thinks she doesn't need to hold onto the pram , nor my hand for that matter, and often runs off, just for shits and giggles. Max just wants to stay at school and play with all the cool bikes and toys!
I am sure the other Mums at school look at me and shake their head, but I hope its more of a "Oh you poor thing, I totally understand" sorta look. Either way, I am loving the school holidays and don't want them to end!
But why?
Why do they do these things?
Naughty? Mischeiveous?
Because I truely believe we are harder on these 2 than we ever have been with Miss 4!
I am finding it hard to take them to certain places solo. Parks, yes. Shops with trolleys, yes ( I can put them in a trolley, give them a cooler bag of food and they are happy ) but to walk into a shop?!
No way man! They would run, touch everything and just cause havok!!
And fight!!
Fight they do alright! Like cat and dog. Biggest LOVE/HATE relationship I have ever seen.
They play beautifully together, really care about each other ( if Lacey is given something she will always ask "Maxie?!" to be reassured that he will not miss out, or she will make sure of it!) and yet they can absolutely flog each other. They tackle, sometime bite ( so bad) and have taken to smacking. But I guess if I lived, breathed , everything with my brother or sister, I would get fed up at times too.
But I want to know why?
I am hoping its just a stage. A 'fase' that will pass and they will become the delightful little cherubs that I know they can be, and are quite often.
They certainly aren't all bad, quite the opposite, and maybe its just my high standards? But they are also the most snuggly and affectionate kids, always asking for "Cuggles".
I just never want my kids to be the kids that people hate to invite somewhere!! Hate to have over and dread what they might do or what might happen!! Not that I think it will, they don't break, aren't nasty and just like to play.

Whats the right way to discipline though? Do you smack them ? ( I am not against smacking and do smack my kids, don't judge , just sayin') but they do get numerous warnings first, its not just a first reaction. Do you do time out? Do you take away privaledges or toys? Do you just ignore and hopes it goes away?
By geez, this parenting gig is hard work! There is never going to be an ideal way to deal with a situation of discipline, but I like to think I am doing an ok job with our kids.
We still get invited places, (well sometimes) so they can't be all that bad?!

I wouldn't begrudge the Terrible Twos kindly pi**ing off though!!
Oh dear Angus, I hope you are as similiar to your big sister Stella in nature as you are in looks!
Are you hearing me? Or is it just me?
Either way, watch out when you see the crazy lady with all the kids coming! She is a woman on a mission!

And some phone snaps of their antics, just for entertainments sake , of course!!
Don't let their looks fool you!

I found her here when I got up during the night to feed Angus. Every night for a week!!

Ohh sweet children of mine, you keep me entertained, thats for sure!!

Training

Now I know this is going to be a controversial subject, but believe it or not, the question I get asked the most (second to "how do you find the time?" is always about toilet training.
Just today I had another discussion with my MG, and it has  brough to my attention an anniversary!! Its the 12 month anniversary of our precious girl Stella toilet training!! Yay!! I can't believe it has been 12 months and when I look back on photos now of her at 20-21 months, I can't believe how small she was. Its only now dawning on me that she was a very young toilet trainer and we were very lucky that it all went according to plan!

Stella January this year, at 21 months!! How young and super cute is she?!

I am going to share with you a few things that I have learnt through me experience with Stella, and a few opinions and please remember they are just that. MY opinions, MY experiences and every person has a right to them. So if you don't want to hear them, stop reading now, if you do, please remember that every child is different, and I am more than certain everything will be different when training the twins!! I am NOT an expert and do NOT claim to be, just a mother, like any other, but I know I like to hear some different stories and hopefully pick up some tips!

First up, I believe that when you make the decision to start training your child , you have to just do it. Start and don't stop. Keep going regardless, or it could end up detremental to their progress and severly confuse them as to what to actually do. It gets hard, and its not pleasant, but neither is changing a 2 year olds nappy , who eats everything that you do!! Ick

Secondly, I believe that your child will give you a "sign" or indication, as slight as it may be, that they are ready and when you get that, run with it!! Regardless of situation and convenience, if you miss it, it may just not come around again! We had just returned from Europe, Stella had been watching us go to the toilet alot,as we were all confined to a small hotel room for 3 1/2 weeks and she was definately observing. When we came home, she went straight into a big girls bed, even though she slept in a cot on trip (purely for monetry reasons , cheaper for a cot than pay for another bed) and we knew we would be in for a struggle getting her back into routine after her sleeping next to us for the time we were away. I figured if I was going to retrain her to sleep independently, I may as well go the extra step and do it in a bed!!

Do it over summer- We started early to mid November and by Christmas, she was mostly in knickers , only a nappy for when we went out (our of laziness and pure convenience as I was very ill being pregnant with the twins) We had a few weeks after Christmas where I was home and that just cemented it all for us!
We also did not use any training knickers , as they are designed to keep the wees in. Great for your house, not so great for a wetness indicator for them. Again monetry and laziness behind it, as I did not want to fork out for training pants , then for knickers as well. So straight into knickers she went, and she was able to feel it running down her leg, and it grossed her out and made her feel uncomfortable, which is what compelled her to try harder.

Number 2's is harder. Wee came easy, number 2's not so much, she started to wait until her nappy went on for a day sleep to do it, so just urging her to go before hand helped.

Don't try and master the nights and days all at once, Stella still wore a nappy at night til April, again, laziness (gee I am Lazy aren't I?!) but that was because I was pregnant with the twins and just couldn't face changing sheets and everything through the night, I didn't sleep much as it was!! Once the nappy started being dry when she woke, and literally the week we came out of hospital with the babies, she wore knickers at night and only had about a handful or so, accidents.

Don't think that by limiting their fluid intake in the arvo helps, I don't believe it does, and Stella is a BIG drinker, she sleeps with a waterbottle on her beside table and its empty in the morning.

We didn't use a potty. Purely cos I couldn't face the fact that I would have to empty and clean it all the time. Stella just had a step thing up to the toilet and a little toilet seat on top so she didn't fall in as she was young. Now she has nothing , just an adult toilet we all use,no step , not seat. I just thought that you have to teach them a potty, then teach them a toilet. No thanks, too much teaching for my liking!!

I hope these have helped, if not, you only wasted 5 mins of your life, if so, great! Remember they are my personal views, goodluck. Nothing is easy in parenting,especially toilet training, but I have to say, it was such a relieft to not have 3 kids in nappies at the same time. Too expensive, and Stella is a big girl, she would look silly with a nappy on.

If you have any other hints or tips, please share!!