posted on: Monday, April 28, 2008
every decision made from now onwards to affirm the decision i made in 22 Feb, 2003. the decision to follow Christ. though i may stumble, though i may fall, i pray that my general direction will still be in God's current.
thai camp was phenomenal. seriously. many people often talk about spirit of the thai church. how it is so evident, how simplistic the people are. now i've seen it myself. i kinda dragged myself into thai camp not knowing what to really expect. then when we walked in... people we already praising God. voom. spirit hit me in the face. young, old. all jumping. singing in a foreign language. the beauty of it all was when i couldnt understand it at all. when you can understand what they say, yet you can get a jist of what they're singing about, that's spirit.
their multimedia, fantastic. the food. spicy/salty/sweet/over flavoured. but all the vendors were all from hope! amazing! they were selling t shirts, cds, booklets... all from hope bangkok. they even have this band called eve and the adams, doing their part to impact the world through the arena of music. haha. powerful!
in the first 2 days. God was just asking for a whole heart. if you came prepared for the camp, you would have received everything. if you din, the numerous praise and worship sessions made it impossible to meet God. impossible for us not to book a 1 - 1 session with the Lord of all the earth. furthermore, when you're in a land which language seem to end with HAA all the time, in pnw sessions, i pretty much din know what to sing. being a singer, not having lyrics is DEAD irritating. so most of the time, i'd be crafting my own lyrics. i guess nothing beats your song.
i gave my heart to God. a whole, devoted heart.
Day 1
Pastor Arlene from Hope Hong Kong gave a triple prophecy. out of which, prophecy number 2 hit me in the face. this is what she said.
i see a pilot, with many planes behind him. the pilot usually takes off in his planes and pilots them with great skill. and God doesnt want that. God wants you to take off with the wings of the Holy Spirit. not to fly on your own qualities, on your own skills.
God really spoke to me about power from above. and how we do ministry by the power of the Holy Spirit and not by our own strength. cuz if we do it by our own strength, i would be building MY kingdom, not God's. so God, here are my hands. teach me to let you use them.
Zechariah 4:6
So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.
Day 3
Pastor Rick Seaward from singapore preached the whole day. he is like, missions man. every sentence oozed with missions. he taught about the importance of missions and that we should always have a heart for it because God desires a temple/church built up of different types of stones, from all over the world.
God spoke tonnes on this day. Then during one of the numerous pnw sessions, God followed up from day 2's prophecy. God told me specifically. the kingdom is going to be completed with or without you. so if you wanna do something for me, do it all out.
FIGHT FOR YOUR INHERITANCE. fight for it.
then i was really really really priviledged to be able to serve in camp. it feels weird to keep receiving in camp and never giving. but then again, i kinda enjoyed just slacking in camp. back to the point. support singing for torchie is so uplifting. i love it when he pieces all the technical bits together and yet during pnw itself, he pieces everything so beautifully together. we(filopino pnw leaders and myself), sang in english while the rest of the thai church sang in thai. WOW. you can sense them worshipping even though there's a language barrier! and they segregated the congregation from teens to youth. so when you scan from right to left, you get an awesome sight of young to old people worshipping God. while watching that, this is what i received. when young people worship God, you see hope in a future being handed over to God. when old people worship God, you see a life of gratitude being uplifted through frail hands. back to pnw, torchie asked me to start one way. initially, i was like, OMG START A SONG? IN THIS MAGNITUDE? and i kinda shuddered at the fact of it. haha but i remembered about having to fight for my inheritance, so i just said YES. and i did it! we ended with How Great Thou Art and then they sang it in thai. yes, the super nice hymn in thai. they've sang it before.
at the end of the whole session, the whole team was so thankful that we were used to touch many lives. we heard comments from many people that they met God, and the most amazing fact is that they all din really understand us. haha! Ps Prayuth said, good job, God touched my heart. that kinda just affirmed us. yea we did it! we were used by God past language!
i met Ps PN close up then too. he is SO SO SERVING. seriously. he said this to the support singers. "thank you for serving with us today". WOAH. every word he said was dripping with sincerity. PS PN! I will follow you as you follow God!
okay kinda late. shall finish this post tmr or something.
FIrsT DAY of schooL!
posted on: Thursday, April 10, 2008
recently, i've been attending this lasalle short term vocal class. EXPENSIVE! haha, but i think the teacher is really really good. she's called michelle. i think she's cool and really talented. she was a Christian... but i guess she chose to pursue this life more and isn't as fervent for God anymore. through this period of 6 weeks of exposure, i realised that i've grown so so so so so complacent and just stagnated at this skill level. God i havent been the best steward of this talent. i wanna go and develop my voice more, that i may be able to be used more by God. easier said than done. its gonna be pricey >_< haha.
in last week's class, michelle was saying stuff about song writing. you sing songs which you identify with best. what better songs to identify with than those you've written yourself. then she starting asking what kinda person i was... i found it quite hard to answer. in the end she mentioned that i'm actually a very positive person. i think its just my nature to be so? but in my mind, most of the time i see things rather negatively. haha! being faithless is a sin! thank God for Him renewing my mind daily man. i learnt that different people facing different issues would write songs of different natures. Like an unmarried woman at 29 would be thinking about relationships and marriage. Then i started asking myself. what would i be thinking of? at this phase of life, i'm wondering if econs is the right way to go. i'm missing harry who's overseas and will be overseas for a much longer time after august. i'm thinking of derrick who would be going off to new york to study. i'm thinking of the singers ministry and how much more we can do. i'm thinking of my caregroup and how i can build stronger friendships. i'm hoping to move house cuz my house is in cck. i'm pondering how i can better contribute to my family's finances. i'm wondering when will alex teo sing ying come to church. i'm wondering how much do i have to save to go for vocal classes. i'm feeling helpless that i cant help kaiwen settle his army stuff. i'm learning how to pursue an immeasurable, everlasting God. i'm trying to fry off my fats on my tummy. i'm trying my best to help my tuition kids pass their exams. SO MANY ISSUES. haha. submit to God!
i'm not much of a thinker. more a feeler. but God i wanna be rooted in Your word. i dont want to just pursue this talent and miss out the big picture while doing that. i dun wanna stumble the same way others had before me.
yesterday i led worship in wam meeting! haha, frankly speaking, i think my worship leading skills really sucked. thank God for God in leading this lost sheep of His. haha. i think daniel did so much to lead in prayer. i could have done more. daniel gave me like 100 evaluation points. the main point was that i need to grow in leadership. not just being pushed along and waiting for the approval of man. just whack and venture into God's presence. the worship leader is the one who heads the pack. once the path is created, then people can follow after. anyway during worship God prompted me to lead into another song. THANK GOD i did. cuz it was THE song man. haha. God i wanna continually submit my life into Your hands. pls never let my problems be too small that i can handle them myself.
thai camp is coming! so expectant yet fearful *peers around for jon tay* but through this camp, i hope to receive much from God! i want to be an anointed leader. Willing to do anything for God. GOTTA START PREPARING MY HEART.
i'm so sleepy in office now. just feel like going for coffee or sitting by a beach now.
God i want more of You.