give me one pure and holy passion
give me one magnificent obsession.
give me one glorious ambition for my life
to know and follow hard after You.
to know and follow hard after You
to know as Your disciple and Your church
this world is empty pale and poor
compared to knowing You my Lord
lead me on and I will run after You.

ripped this off from harry's blog. i'm discouraged. no mood for words.

Hi~ its twelve plus. im blogging cuz it takes forever to download something from Shirls. ZzZz. haha. well, school has been pretty interesting. i've been dozing off in lectures though i really really try to stay awake. i feel like im so behind everything. so thrown aback. there's been this unspoken classification. (i'm the only one who keeps reminding everyone anyway) that i'm in the last 8 of my class. its really horrid. i want to get out of that. though i don't care what people say about me, (i would like to comment that S08 NEVER said anything about me in this manner) but it sucks big time to have that drifting thought, knowing that you're not faring well for exams. i want to study hard. i've been trying. gonna try even harder. Light.

sji is so stagnant. God help me. i dunno what to do.

i want to get real with God. im weak. very weak, i can't do anything by myself Lord. transform me, Father, please. Prepare me to be a Sanctuary. Your Sanctuary. Tried and true.

hmm~ sometimes, we put up fronts, sometimes we hide things. too many a time we're mistaken. its alright, it's God's opinion that matters =)

lol! i realised that i always blog when i realised that i realised something! =) well, this time, its not much of an exception. discovered that there are lots of people who are tired, who are weak, who are burdened, who are going through trails, who are struggling. so here's a beautiful verse i found last night. so short, so powerful. [Micah 5:5] [And he will be their peace.]

sometimes, we tend to look at ourselves all the time. i think we gotta look around, hey the world doesnt revolve around us. when we look around, we realise that people around us need help and encouragement too. don't live in a world of your own, but rather live in a world God owns, a world where we urge each other on, to push, to strive, to perservere. keep running.

study study study study. du shu du shu du shu du shu. mug mug mug mug. revise revise revise revise. read read read read. remember remember remember remember. contemplate contemplate contemplate contemplate. go through go through go through go through. wen xi wen xi wen xi wen xi. yuck yuck yuck yuck. But God saes carry on. =)

i just realised, how blessed i was in the last holiday. i so miss all the gatherings and events we had during the holidays where we just fellowshipped and build strong Godly relations with each other. now that school's started, we dont have that priviledge anymore. but i still hope to have that kind of fellowship, especially in my cg. =) Thank God for the encouragements i receive. thank God for him.

so much to give thanks for. i will give You all my worship =)

haha, just realised that there were alot of things fluttering through my mind the whole day today. hmm, seems like God made me spend my first day of the year right, by really thinking through what i should do and what i want to achieve. well, things started off in prayer meet today. we prayed for many things, i realised that i've been really emphasizing so much about praying for my sheep, praying for sji, for growth, for people around me, everything, but not really for myself. for my own personal growth. i mean, in the end, its really your personal growth with God that matters. so what if you're leading big group, if its not quality, there's really no point leading them. i really want to grow myself by walking with God more. there's so much i can reflect about lah. God kinda reminded and told me what to do in a very cool thought. Our journey with God is really like walking through a pathway in the forest. all the man made trails. these trails always change, so in the end, we often get really really really lost. so to get back to God, we must constantly do evaluations. are we on the right path? am i growing in the area of laziness? am i growing my sheep well? am i being salt and light? yep... self evaluation is the key to growth. accounting too. definately. im gonna account more and more. =D haha oh ya... one more thing for the new year. i realised that im not really really afraid even though i have like lots of exams coming up. i just have this feeling that i'll be able to pull through cuz of God and all he has placed around me. thank God for that. gonna study hard for God!

the biggest joy which a shepherd can experience is to see his sheep grow. to see his sheep respond to God, become willing and really walk the right direction. well, i think that's what God's biggest joy is as well. i mean, imagine him watching us choose the righteous path, making the right decisions. dropping other things for him. now that's what i call joy. i want to do that for God.