Prayer for my sheep.

God, i pray that the sheep that you have placed under my care would not be lost. I pray that you will guide them through this time of adversity. I pray that their heart would not be hardened towards you because of the circumstances around them. You have done so much for them and i pray that this trial with their parents would be one that they will be able to testify that you are with them. I pray for QB to not lose faith, faith in you and i pray that he will be constantly reminded of what you did in the past and what you will do. We tend to be living in the present all the time and thus forget about what you have done for us. When i was persecuted by my parents initially, fear practically engulfed me when i even tried to mention the issue to them. it seemed that i was all alone and i really felt like giving up... but how can i ever give up on someone who died for me, underwent so much for me, who practically loves me so much? [Romans 8:35]
[v37-39]<{37}No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. {38}For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, {39}neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.> .

Nothing will seperate us from you, nothing ever can if we just hold on to you. Don't get bitter just because things are not working out... things never do work out all the time. We're living in an imperfect world working towards perfection. When we cry out to him, he will hear it. As for KL, the future is just a shining road ahead before us, though i'm not walking beside you, trust me that i would be somewhere ahead or behind. I'm gonna watch you as i did. =) Just as Jesus always did.

I submit both of them into your mighty hands Dad.
Amen

Joy

I am joyful because...
i'm seeing the lives of 3 people, in NJ, in Choir, being transformed totally.
i survived today going to visit the oldies and still managing to complete my econs.
i am part of a cool unit.
i learnt what was my problem.
i have 3 days to study for my common tests. (better than none)
i'm healed from my flu and cough.
i have a new sheep and he's quite friendly >.< PHEW!
i have wonderful friends like Raphael and Derrick.
i am going to Germany in a few weeks.
i am not in the ex-co of choir so that i can do lots of other stuff.
i can snatch the position of CT rep so that i can get some points for cca.
i am a result orientated person that i get nervous and study for my exams.
i actually have people reading my blog.
i'm going for a bbq in a few hours time.
i'm not going to cook during the bbq. i hope.
i managed to stay awake due to excess adrenaline in my blood for playing squash.
i was part of a mystery solving group.
i am recognised.
i am loved.
i know Jesus.

JESUS IS MY ROCK AND HE BLOWS MY BLUES AWAY~ shoobeedoowaabbab. shoobeedoowaabbab.
happiness depends on happenings. joy depends on the source of joy itself, Jesus who incidentally doesn't ever ever change. hmm... doesn't that mean we can have joy all the time? whoot thank you Jesus =)

divine intervention has made me study alot.

almost done with econs. im done with chem. whooties. 2 more subjects to go.

hmm... was in a very bad spirit a few hours ago. sitting in the still on the night contemplating on what got me angry made things slow down and eventually clear out. if you didnt know, i used to think that blogs are really a waste of time. i finally see how and why i ended up blogging. it's God's will.. you don't get encouraged and reminded on what you're suppose to do and be by looking at your own words right? i just clicked on the archives... just a random click and was reminded of all the blessings i was showered upon by the leaders who supposedly pissed me off. my oh my... i have changed and forgotten about their love that they give all the time. who am i to compare and complain about what i've given when i watch them give their lives full out for God. being a leader ain't easy. a role model i must be... in order to be an influential person for God.

For God.

i think i should stop studying... i think i covered alot of chem today again... almost complete with chem.. just 4 more chapters i think... whee! then it's on to econs. then physics and i'll end off with maths. God help me.

hmm... corrected, failed to do stuff and a whole tonne of nonsense in one hour. sinful pride making me lose my concentration? i can't study like this. frustrated. really a period of testing. jia you is the best thing i get. hmm.. at least it's better than nothing. bah i think im tired. too much chem in one day. i think lactic is flowing through my brains... means that they've been working out. how amusing. i just hope that i won't be a nasty host. my goodness... three minutes is up like that... i have to go back to the books with relentless reading. i guess i have to skip the unit outing as well.

wow, lots of things happening lately. IT ALL STARTED ON SATURDAY. =D

Firstly, i think God really really does miracles. 2 lives were hauled unto the life boat on saturday and the best thing is, i know them! hurray for Sida and CK man! whooties. i was really really really really really happy when i saw them coming down the aisle to receive God! such joy. i can imagine what the angels felt like whenever someone crosses the line into light. Luke 15:10 "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." Wheeeee =D. we're gonna have a great time together knowing God more and more.

Secondly, there is some restructuring taking place in the unit that involves me. hmm.. affects all levels, so it's quite interesting. but it's for the betterment of God's kingdom! i'm praying that i will be a better sheep and that new and old sheep will flourish whereever they are going. =) Thank God for what he's doing!

Today, i picked up much strength to study for the common tests. i did a few chapters of chem... not bad... covered more than i did for the whole holidays. lol. i hope i can survive. i stuck a piece of post it on the computer screen. it says "For God". i hope that i can survive for the next two weeks without dying. im already ill... coughed out a green slab of phelgm earlier on.. never knew i could produce such toxic substances. God help me!! i believe in miracles.

ugg. saw myself on sat in the bloopers thingy. i was really really stiff even with the hand movements. haha, i remembered how nervous i was man. oh well, thank God i didn't get through... i would prolly faint on stage. hehehe. =)

busy day tomorrow! follow up, practice for hosting, W.F.L., MUG. bah what a way to end my day with. nticipating the unit outing! but that means a few days closer to CTs... ugg ugg.. but... it's for God. =)

And all i want to do... is to know you more... Jesus =D -In you I stand-

i cannot break down, i cannot give up. people are affected by me. people are expecting things from me. are we suppose to say that all the time? be strong and unfailing? naw... i dun think so... only God can do that. Psalms 139. God knows what we're going through. good or bad, he's always there. how we feel inside. our deepest, darkest, most private thought that we're always waiting to pour out like a raging tidal wave. God has always knew it. so many things to handle. i gotta hand it to God. can't take the books ready. they are really killing me. im just gonna try my best, and leave it to God to do the rest. i think im gonna screw up real bad for common tests. im afraid.

parental objection. something that almost all of us face. something that we can overcome. with God, all things are possible, even in the midst of facing the dark clouds that appear on our parents' faces when we mention the word "Church"... we can do it. Standing firm for the one we love.

wow, today we had CG... haha =D kinda fun... haven't had worship for some time... we had combined of combined... almost became a central b unit CG. really cool and stuff. heez. thinking about it, it's amazing how God blessed me on my way to HQ. it was 12.45 when i was at the nj bus stop, i reached holland at 1, on the dot and was not late for CG. at the nj stop, i prayed to God to send the 156, and in 30 seconds 156 really came (if you didn't know, 156 comes in the frequency of one in every 20 minutes). then when i almost reached sixth ave, i prayed for 77/970 to come... and i looked across the road, there was a 77. i reached hq from school at a record breaking time of 15 minutes. thank God =D cool stuff.

was talking to Dan earlier on. we mentioned the topic of people doing things in the name of God but deep down, what their hearts really want is self-glorification. that deepest, inner motive can only be checked by yourself. i just hope that i joined choir to really develop this talent God gave, which i really think i did... i never even knew that nj choir was a SYF finalist or whatever it was called and stuff. i was really really blur when i joined. lol. i hope that swimmers won't just swim for themselves but swim for God if there is a need to. well, i think we can do anything in any sport to achieve the tops for God, but the point is, you hardly get to make any speeches and though you may have an impact on people when you suceed, but i think it pales in comparison when you outreach to people with your heart, not just the things you do.

I could sing of your love forever.

uh oh... just realised something bad. im running big deficit in my money.. owe 35 to gp funds, 20 for sweater, 10 for valesco, 15 for tithing next week... gonna watch harry potty tomorrow.. eh... i have 20 in my wallet. hmm.. that makes a grand total of 60 dollar deficit. CRAP... gonna save full time. =X

Whooot! refreshed and back in action.

Camp was amazing. i believe that i will have a breakthrough. 9 June 2004, the day which i made a declaration that im gonna be a CL for God. God gave me a vision, one of a long road among a large plain of fields. The sky was clearly drawn into two divisions, dark clouds and clear sunny sky. A person was running, running to a man with open arms. that is GOD'S VISION for the WORLD.

I believe, i believe, i believe. It's no longer just words coming out from my mouth but from my heart. this vision is gonna be with me all the way, Jesus carried the cross for all our shame, for all our pain, so that we can run in the light of his Amazing Grace. SJI is not gonna be the same. 3 isn't gonna satisfy me! it isn't a group big enough for MY GOD. i don't think a caregroup would be enough. all the way people. all the way. in our weakness, we can let God be God. let him take the lead, and catch his wave. AMEN! Jesus is gonna work in SJI. Don't let what you do affect what God can do.

Being a CL is not just the goal im working towards. I want to be a worship leader, leading people to the place where i have once been. right in front of God's throne. basking in the light of his Glory, dancing in his love. we can only bring people places we've been. i want to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Worship is the place where we can meet Jesus face to face here and i want to go there all the time.

Joy
You give me joy that's unspeakable
And I like it, And I like it
Your love for me is irresistible
I can't fight it, I can't fight it

If life is water, I was dry as Tuscon dirt
If it's a gamble, I'd already lost my shirt
If it's a journey, I was dazed without a clue
I flipped a "U" back to the first love I ever knew

You give me joy that's unspeakable
And I like it, And I like it
Your love for me is irresistible
I can't fight it, I can't fight it
You carried the cross and took my shame
I believe it, I believe it
You shine Your light of amazing grace
I receive it, I receive it

If life's a battle, the invasion is complete
If it's a rhythm, I have found the perfect beat
If it's a renaissance, I've got a new birthday
The world don't give it
And the world can't take it away

You give me joy that's unspeakable
And I like it, And I like it
Your love for me is irresistible
I can't fight it, I can't fight it
You carried the cross and took my shame
I believe it, I believe it
You shine Your light of amazing grace
I receive it, I receive it

I'm bowed and broken, everything's new
All that I need, You're like water to seed
And how Your love, rights everything wrong
And in my weakness
You're ever stronger, You're pulling me back
Where I belong

Whoot. Jesus Rules. I believe it.

haha. just got back from Derrick's place. had an AWESOME TIME for 2 days at FOP! woohoo! it was really quite cool standing right at the front line singing. i never felt so relaxed for such a long time... like being able to sing to God like nobody's business. KEWL MAN!

haha gone through abit lately. i've come to know what God means by him going to work miracles in my life and how he's going to act. lately, i've been straying a small bit away from him. in more than just one way. but on the first night of FOP, i learnt that all we need to do, is to seek him only.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Luke 10
At the Home of Martha and Mary

[38]As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39]She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. [40]But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
[41]"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, [42]but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

in times like these, i think God really wants me to just sit and draw from him... like how Mary did. we just gotta let God be God, and let his have his way. in this life, only one thing is needed, that is God. if you haven't known, i ran for VP of choir and failed. i think God is really telling me in the face "going down that road isn't the right one, get your priorities right." i guess i can't be THAT committed to the choir anymore. anyway, i would feel left out with them talking about exco stuff... so i guess i'll go watch harry potty with my sheep. i really hope that they haven't watched it yet cuz the people i want to watch with have ALL ALREADY WATCHED IT!

Thank God for your will which was done. i wanna live for ya.

wow. learnt loads from Pastor Darlene Zchech today. most important thing i learnt.
Miracles happen only at the toughest times. that really woke me up.

Messed up.

bah... really messed up now, walking down the road of no return trying to turn back. i don't resent God for what he's placed in my life, cuz i know that he wants me to get past it with him. I don't resent God for not letting me get into centerstage, cuz it might make me prideful and i heard Gwen like rooting for me for the last place. haha.. it's really cool to see how the singing ministry people really are cool.

elections coming, ian loo wants me to join singapore idol, doing things i shouldn't do. dogs and chocolates may be appealing, but i think it leads the wrong way. haha. God please help me get back to my feet.

QB wants to be baptised! so happy =D