rockin' my world.: August 2006

Sunday, August 27, 2006

ACT.487 - life's gonna be boring for 5mths.

oh crap , one of my bettas seem to be sick . or rather dying . =( i don't know what went wrong lah seriously , or is it that it's old enuf and shld be dying already.

alamak , sad sia .

never mind , at least my goldfishes are alive and kicking . =)

anyway , me and LHD [ lian hua dang ] went to watch Ghost Game today . you know , that thai horror show . WAH . BORING SIA . others may say scary lah , but seriously , it spooked nothing out of me . yawn .

i'm really still waiting for one horror film to spook me . Exorcist , tried it . doesn't work . Shutter . nope , dun work . The Ring . whatever.

haha , life sucks when no REAL horror movies exist .

sigh , nth much to blog about . my life has been real boring for awhile , only fish fish fish fish , and study . =.= gotta get a life manx.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

ACT.486 - the defination of stupidity.

so i've got my attachment in Tuas.

HELLOOOOO?!!! How can TUAS be any near to YISHUN ??!!

sometimes , singapore really make me think that quite a huge percentage of people are actually stupid. Well , that's my crappy and based on nothing point of view, cause i know that ain't true also .

BUT WHY AM I DEALING WITH SO MANY DUMB PEOPLE in this 3 years of my life?

i may not be a damn smart arse , but i'm definately not dumb. and i can see how stupid people can really be .

oh well , it's ok . i don't see the attachment as a very poor thing , but it's located at Tuas , NO GYM , HOW TO TRAIN ?!!

my point is , i just wanna get back to a crazy fucker who placed me there. it just gives me a sense of damn great satisfaction to THRASH it out with someone and either make him damn embarassed , or get things my way.

Besides , i like supply chain stuff.

but some crazy guy thinks MR NG HONG BIN OWNS A MOTORCYCLE OR EVEN A CAR . putting me to somewhere , where i dun know where the heck to take bus from , and i bet the bus transport time is gonna be damn long .

ok , quit the whining .

i've just had dinner with the poly boys , at BakerzIN . pretty cool , and quite cheap . =) a little more filling than usual restaurants .

We had our pasta and some real special deserts , and a GAY CAKE for Alex and Eric. haha , and these bastards are real late , i shan't be early anymore in our meetings.

so Final Exam is over , i rushed home , and ran a couple of trips to get my fish stuff . Got my goldfish tank up and running , after spending hours on it . will post pics after i get my bettas on Tuesday. =)

I've been feeling lucky lately , about my exams and so , the only unlucky thing recently is that Lufthansa thing , but it's ok . there are lessons to be learnt and so on . it's their loss anyway. hahahahha .

Exams were great , haha , and my studying table and room are feeling kind of lucky , so i decided to get 8 goldfishes , and 8 fighting fishes / bettas . I don't know , somehow , after my uncle told me to place this glass earth globe on my studying table , I FEEL GREAT !

haha , he told me it's usually used for business people and placed on their tables .

haha , i think many think fengshui is crap , but i dun know , i somehow believe in chinese traditions and FENGSHUI ever since my trip to Taiwan .

I even told JS that i'm gonna be devoted to Buddhism , cause who the fuck is gonna burn hell money for my parents and loved ones when *AHEM * . haha , i know this sounds crazy , but my cousin dreamt of grandpa telling her that he ain't have enuf money to spend cause we haven't been burning anything for him . =\

oh well , it's just my job to take care of my parents in every single way.

wah , what a crappy post . i'm just too tired , ended up with a huge post. =\

Thursday, August 24, 2006

ACT.485 - if fishes could talk.

my 3 fighting fishes must be thinking they have the worst owner ever .

cause this owner never sleeps early and the bedroom light is switched on til wee hours in the morning , HOW TO SLEEP ?

and to make things worse , this guy is sleeping so little in the night lately due to irritating exams , poor fishes , barely enuf to sleep.

they can take a breather now cause it's 1.50am and i'm going to sleep . but they're gonna go , " !@)#$@$@%@!%!$!$!$!#$!$! " when i wake up at 5am . =)

there was once i was watching tv in the living room at bout 2am and so on , and my dad woke up , walking out of his room and scolded me. saying his fishes can't sleep thanks to me in the living room with the light on.

DUH . scold his son bcos of these $1 - $1.50 per piece fish . BASKET .

haha , in a few days , 5 more fighting fishes will join the agony and misery of these 3 bettas. =)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

ACT.484 - incidents that make a man's heart blacker.

2 papers down , 2 to go . MEMORISING PAPERS . this is where i really hate.

haha , i was so gan chiong about OPC today , cause it was so tough , and i spent so much time on calculations , i did almost nothing about theory . haha , i was so stressed and all before the paper , but it turned out ok. =) i'm glad . WSS was great as well .

friday will soon be over . haha , that's always my consolation to myself , when i dun have enuf sleep or when i'm already so tired that i can't go on anymore , i will tell myself , these 5 days or whatever is gonna be over soon. JUST HANG ON .

haha , it's the same theory , when u think about your weekends being over so FAST. or the public holidays as well .

anyway , Mum was a little upset over my bro , being depressed over the breakup. cause we all saw through , how much effort my bro has put into the r/s , learning a guitar song , practicising a particular song , making her nice and memorable sketch books about them , and i don't know what else of crazy stuff he has done .

then Dad thinks , maybe it's because our family ain't well off , we ain't rich and all.

this topic has kind of brought my family closer , haha , i didn't mean that the breakup was good , but at least my mum knows the reasons behind me , for being reluctant about girls and all. i'm such a scaredy boy , i dare to take a huge step in anything , but not love. i'll probably hide under a blanket everytime i hear about it . haha .

in 2003. i lost faith . only in 2005 , i opened up my heart again , to get myself hurt again . and again . and again .

well , that's why i say , it's such f***ed up incidents that make a man's heart blacker. that we men no longer wanna put effort into the r/s anymore or make commiments .

anyway , it's probably one of the last times i'm gonna see my poly mates until a good 5 months away.

frankly speaking, 3 years passed fast , and i can't forget my first time seeing them . I WAS DAMN FREAKED OUT WHEN i saw the girls ok. they are so LOUD , i would die under those immense decibels created.

haha , they're crazy lah.

5 months , graduate , hopefully with results that can bring me to uni . can't wait .

but 5 mths passed by so quickly , that means REGATTA will come damn fast .

and absolutely no more time , after exams , i must really work it. =) for the dream we promised ourselves.

Monday, August 21, 2006

ACT.483 - exams no more .

YES ! this is my last exam ever in my life. poly final exam , then attachment .

wahahahahahahahaha , wouldn't it be real cool if i dun ever have any exams ever again ? cause i'm pretty sure i'm going to uni . where there are more tests and so on , memorising stuff. =(

so , yeah , ain't my last exam in my life .

monday , tuesday , thurs , fri , then HELL is over.=)

i feel rather relaxed this time round , making use of my time this week , haha , and ya , i wasted time on Dota breaks which can take up to 2hrs .

anyway , woot , i saw the event Miss Seventheen and when i saw the contestants , i was like , OMFG !

haha , boy i'm sure , i'm gonna go to Zouk and create some havoc .

haha , and my pretty da jie , QiQi is tagging along . =) haha , erm , i shall take back my words about tha havoc thing since she's gonna be around . haha .

anyway , i did some catching up with my best bud and he told me some stuff that are just unbelievable. well , frankly speaking , i was rather numb to it cause it's an issue that's aeons ago and i want him to heck it , cause it's the past anyway.

But what he told me , explored the other end of extremes a girl can go.

i'm pretty sure , the 2 of us don't quite give a damn about love anymore , cause love cannot be guaranteed. eh , if u know what i mean.

the 2 of us are just concerned about one thing - career .

haha , well , people who are attached always tell me , ENJOY singlehood while u can .

maybe after friday's exam , i shall start exploring singlehood while I CAN. =)

Sunday, August 20, 2006

ACT.482 - when you're not the one.

sigh . bro just broke up with his girlfriend .

in the past , i was pretty amazed , at the effort he put into the r/s . doing sweet stuff for the girl and all , really cool and fascinating gifts with creative ideas that i can never come out with , so yeah , he's pretty serious.

But it all turned out to be like that. I don't know what went wrong , my mum knows , cause bro told her about everything.

and he was telling me the same thing i am doing , the next r/s , he's not gonna be 100% committed , or serious .

i don't know , i just don't like the feel of it , when my loved ones or close friends are going through what i'm going through , u know , me and my crap stuff , saying girls are fucked up and all , girls are problems , or even love is shit.

and me , working my life out as the first step to be a successful man in the next 5 - 10 years , so those damn girls can regret , dumping this guy.

seriously , all these is crap .

Love should be happy . sensational . but why does this present decade present us , the current generation with such contradicting theory of love.

maybe have it one or 2 times , it's ok . but what bout 5 ? more ? that's a little questionable already , cause u start to question yourself , whether you're the fucked up one , or there's just something wrong with u .

or is Love in this new millenium , made up of things that never existed in the past . cash , car , and all that shit .

or did a new revolution began without us knowing it , that girls become the players and boys be the losers ?

at the age of sweet 18 going on undesirable 19 , i dare say , i have never felt love before. no girl never dared to love this boy.

and although it's never an issue on his mind to get a girl , all the love songs playing on air [ eh , ain't most of the music we enjoy , love songs? ] , and all the loneliness from time to time when a grp of bachelor guys sit down , all those damn taiwan and korean dramas , make us guys wonder for a bit.

Make us doubt ourselves , our confidence , looks , character , personality etc.

Yeah , this has been happening around me for a long time. me and shun de will usually end off our conversation with , " WTF are we doing NOW ??!! with no girls no nothing ! " emo - periods u see.

and when we see our ideal girls walking off with men with black hearts , the wound in our hearts just get deeper.

see , all these issues happening around me , my mum still ask me go FIND a girlfriend , how to , when faith is almost non existent in me.

haha , maybe a vietnam hot chick wife , but no , no girlfriend for me , please.

and yeah , after so much drama , i think she pretty understand , the very deep core reason , why i don't want a girlfriend .

haha , actually , u all know lah , not i don't want , just that i'm unwanted.

anyway , i'm not gonna be free in the next 5 years. i've got a business plan to discuss with edwin. girls can either wait for me , or just get lost.

5 years is IT.

Friday, August 18, 2006

ACT.481 - never ever coming back.

Augustana - Boston

in the light of the sun, is there anyone? oh it has begun...
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed...you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across
an open field,
when flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry
when they see you
you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

she said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...

I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...

Boston...where no one knows my name...

ACT.480 - the trouble of love.

i think my bro is having some problem with love stuff again. and i doubt it's the simple kind of problem , it should be the rather complicated kind .

sigh . the trouble of love. luckily i'm still single , and i'm glad i am.=)

my mum still ask me find gf , wah sian lah , the idea of gf , turns me off. haha .

Later she complain i'm a poor bugger again , more turn off.

Haha , with 5 months left , 3 years in poly , i'm single , with no girl approaching me for number or whatever. haha , to think that i'm in dragonboat .

I heard , in the past , the db guys were damn popular with girls chasing them all ard campus. LOOK AT ME NOW . haha . oh well , this happens when u ain't handsome or muscular .

anyway , no gf means no problem. when already the equation of , life = a lot of problems .

life + gf = a HELL LOT of problems .

well , this all actually depends lah. haha , maybe i'm still at a young age , when everybody ain't look for stability in a realtionship, the guys keep saying girls bring problems which apparently is true , depending on the maturity of both parties.

haha , i think i should show mum this equation soon.

anyway , i bought 4 guppies home from Clementi. Kind of sad though , the guppies that i really wanted , which i saw about 2-3 weeks ago , is gone . those were damn nice , i regretted not having 6 bucks with me that time .

Look , i don't even have 6 bucks . haha . that's damn pathetic.

anyway , i'm contented with these 4 baby chicks , and my incoming 5 fighting fishes , just gotta settle the problem of tanks fast. no tank , how to keep fish ?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

ACT.479 - will u take what's left of me.

eh , it's 4 days left for exams , and i have only COPIED and done tutorials for one module . Warehouse and storage systems .

the rest are all memorising modules, Distribution and Transportation , Purchasing Management , Operations planning and control .

Seriously , what's the use of memorising them and putting them on paper. Maybe this tells someone that , hey , you have the knowledge , that TINY knowledge .

But give u a task , you can't even do it. ok , Don't know how to do it. not can't.

Sigh , SG education should start shifting their focus.

Well , maybe it's not the problem with SG's overall education , maybe it's just my division only. =) i'm pretty convinced they are all just retards. haha , ever since marketing project.

Haha , at least my mental block is over , i can get things into my head . =)

wah , i have yet to meet up with some friends for a long time , haha , esp sin wee lah , she NTU girl now , join ntu DB somemore . WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ! join elite team sia .

haha , to think of it , f***ed up sia , i now year 3 poly , the girls are in unis already . =\

oh well , just study my exam first lah , haha , dun talk about uni .

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

ACT.478 - a new town. to leave it all behind.

right , time to get back to track . Been studying and all the entire day , with Dota games in between to relax my mind . haha , gonna have buffet lunch with the db boys sometime this week . it's been a long time since a buffet , erm , dun talk about the pariss buffet about one and half months back , it sucked terribly .

haha. oh man , my expenses are going up real high . i'm buying fish stuff and includin the expenses already incurred , it's bout $200 bucks in total .

and bout 300 on supplements and all . and there ain't enuf $$ to spend on clothes .

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH ! THIS SUCKS . haha , luckily , i'm still left with enuf to get the Guess Watch . but i hope it's still there . cause the other time , it was already on clearance sale , but i still didn't have $$$ .

after exams , i gotta piah work lah . no $$$ to buy clothes on pay day , that sucks . totally .

haha , it's gonna be a real tiring day tomorrow . gymming in the morning with ky and then going back home to study . =\ and airport in the nite i guess .

to study of course , not looking at SIA stewardesses . haha .

Monday, August 14, 2006

ACT.477 - Hate me .

I don't know whether it's my confidence or ego killed me .

i just recieved news from benjamin that lufthansa made their selection , it wasn't me. sometimes , i just don't get it . In such things , why do i lose out when i ain't supposed to .

it's been happening since my kiddy days.

now i'm stuck in a society , where they can't even judge who's good , who's bad , lecturers , professionals even. can it be that bad ... really ?

there u go , god is never with me. ok , or rather according to my belief with no existence of god , my LUCK is fucked up to the max.

so i'm just waiting for a day , to get killed or something , knocked down by a speeding car or something like that , make it peaceful all right ? or whatever style u want . bloody or gore . whatever .

my optimistic thinking is gone. confidence is lost.

i guess i'll slip into the past again . where i can't love myself.

for my dearest friends out there , don't tag in response to this entry especially telling me to look on the bright side or worse , tell me something about God . thanks a lot .

Sunday, August 13, 2006

ACT.476 - KNN.

i heard from my classmates that crazy guy put my attachment at Tuas . i have no idea how Yishun is near to Tuas , and Tuas doesn't have an mrt , neither does Yishun have any buses to Tuas . WHAT THE FUCK ARE U THINKING ??!!! DO U NEED A POLY KID TO SHOW U A SINGAPORE MAP ??!!

sigh. stupid people are stupid people . period .

fuck , i dun see why others can get good companies near their homes and why do i have to get this kind of bullshit. and that job has nothing to do with logistics i think. i should have just appealed for borneo motors the other time or go overseas , rather than waste my brains at such attachment .

totally sick of everything . i dun even feel the drive to study at all . or even game . or even go out . or anything .

and i've returned home so late lately , bcos of the fireworks thing , and i have no idea why i can't sleep well also . and the best is i saw no fireworks at all .

arrrgggghhh . i just get so frustrated when i think about what's ahead of me , the career and all . why ain't i borned a rich man's son like bobby ? own a lamborg , a ferrari , whatever , and i dun even need to use my brains to create value .

ok , maybe i shld just cool it. i'm just so mad about people doing stupid things and me , unable to get what i want .

arrrgggghhh , hope i hear goods news from lufthansa . please .

Saturday, August 12, 2006

ACT.475 - disappointed.

there's something wrong with me . maybe since birth or something , it has been like that .

OF ALL lecturers , the co. that i wanted so badly , has the most fucked up lecturer in charge . how bad can my luck be ? seriously ?

after digging up shit at my workplace the other time and getting penalised for some lame damn reason and all that , i've lost faith in my fate sia .

yeah , u saw that right . I dugged up shit from the toilet bowl cause it was choked . and after 3 hrs of fixing it , it didn't work at all .

sigh . sigh . sigh . and i've realised i have changed too . my ego's gotten too big to be in control .

it's been a long time since a soul searching session .

anyway , tomorrow is the last day of Fireworks Festival , people who haven't caught it , PLEASE DO GO DOWN WITH UR GF / BF and enjoy . =)

9.00pm start so better go early to avoid crowd and lousy spots . haha .

i'll be working again in the basement so i can't see any shit , AGAIN . =\

you don't know how much i wish for u to ask me just how i'm doing .

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

ACT.474 - you don't even care.

she said :

"i think i'll go to boston ,
i think i'll start a new life,
i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
i'll get out of California, i'm tired of the weather,
i think i'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...

i think i'll go to boston,
i think that i'm just tired
i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind...
i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset,
i hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice...

boston...where no one knows my name."

fly me away from here.cause you don't even give a damn.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

ACT.473 - fixing a broken heart.

what a problematic period . =\ another friend of mine was talking about suicide =.= and i guessed all that i have said din went in. another friend of mine is in a total whirlwind , which actually she kind of caused upon herself. But sometimes u dun get why u did such things too . arrrggghhh .

To add on , it's the Hungry Ghost Festival of 2 months to rock our lives for now. haha , i guess it's time to go home early everytime , after having a fantastic experience last year. =)

Haha , talking about suicide , i really wanted to do that when i was a primary school kid . Stress was upon me , for not scoring full marks for every spelling , not doing well for tests , then i would be caned for all this fucking reasons. Then i dun know why sometimes Dad would become crazy and whack me with his bare hands. Frankly speaking , i can't remember exactly everything in the past , but i guess that's something good . Haha , so one day i was like " CHEE BYE ! this life is so fucked up. might as well go die . "

I looked everywhere for the window key , opened the window grill , and i looked down .

WOO . That's kind of high . Maybe not . it's SCARY .

HAHA , so there you have it . i'm still alive today . and that time , i was only on the 5th floor . now i'm on the 12 . haha , so u can kind of think , i'll never do suicide by height .

After going through a pessimistic life of 16 years , i finally looked at things the brighter way. haha , so that kind of means , no SUICIDE anymore. even though life may seem tuf. somemore , 12 floors lei , i'm scared . haha .

oh well, life is never easy. but suicide is never a solution . it only ends everything of you meaninglessly , leaving your loved ones broken hearted and disappointed.

everyone out there had it tough in their own lives , or even worse. they never committed suicide , because they toughed it out with faith although it may seem God is against them.

the word that relates best to suicide is " DUMB " . get it ?

anyway , whether i'm dying soon or early , i know i dun have a choice of heaven or hell . haha , i'm for sure going to hell where i may find a few fimiliar faces. =
)

Saturday, August 05, 2006

ACT.472 - getting older .

there's this guy called Han from tokyo drift and he drives the rx-7 [ yeah , the orange baby chick in the movie ] this is his pic :

and u know what ? he looks like :

YES . our very own AH DU . haha . really SIA . the hair esp . is this kind of hairstyle IN anyway ? if that's true , i'm getting Ivan to do this hair for me on my next visit . =)

anyway , wow , i suddenly feel old now. A few years ago , the guys and me were playing basketball everyday , killing each other on the playstation . Now , each of us are busy with work and all , we can't even meet up like before . and i had to watch the fast and the furious with JX like gays . haha .

Denny's at the mainland . jia en's at OCS kicking some ass . or rather getting kicked in the ass . Ting Xian's working . Jian sheng , arrrr, everytime see him ,so never mind . Chun Chiang is enjoying his love life and his JESUS life . oh yeah , the next guy having the most free time is Edwin Leong . haha . Gi kian is in Korea having some fun with korean babes .

sigh . so what's left is us .

And there i go , spending my life away , in the gym , in Kallang water , and in class sleeping . but it's all worth it anyway . =)

you said there was a misunderstanding between us. i guess not , isn't the picture clear already? and if u would ask me , it was all a mistake. a stupid mistake.

ACT.471 - drift it.

Just caught Tokyo Drift with jun xian. I would say it's nice ... =) FINALLY get to see my fav car in action . haha , and it's DRIFTing this time , not about speed , and it happens in Japan which is cool , to be able to see so many JAP chicks in the movie . haha .

the storyline is messed up as usual , like 2 fast 2 furious , but the main aim of the movie is in the action anyway .

my love's got a new look . from this :

to this .

Isn't she such a beauty ? =) haha ,but owning just the basic model itself is just like a dream .

anyway , we guys got 1st for project nutz . that's good news for a day . Bad news for the day , was Ngee Ann's newsletter.

Everybody was waiting for this moment , for the team to fall. we ain't consecutive national champions , why want this to happen anyway .

And every team has its losses , so must u go tell the whole world , that we've lost ? can't we make one mistake for one time ,and learn from it ? Humans were never made to be perfect , isn't it ?

what you have done , has rubbed more salt into our wounds in the heart. what you did , was totally the opposite of what u should have done , giving us the support .

So are we supposed to win for the school , for everybody , when u guys never even appreciate it at all . sigh . what bastards .

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

ACT.470 - SHIOK .

The first moment i came to Lufthansa was like , WOO . this place is
PROFESS ionnnnal ! Barely any chinese , only one , the one that was in charge of us from the HR department . and she doesn't sound like chinese too ! She sounded like a Italian that just took only awhile to master english . haha .

I was super sian ok . my shirt looked like some bullshit thing , cause WHERE IN THE WORLD DID MY ZARA SHIRT WENT TO . i flipped the entire house upside down , to no avail . In the end , i had to settle with some Pierre Cardin which had lousy quality and can't be tamed with an ordinary iron. ( SEE SEE ?? ZARA's THE BEST . )

Grabbed my resume and my portfolio , haha and was off to meet the managers .

Ok , it seemed easy and it was for the first time i was able to relate this well in an interview . In interviews in the past , i was like " ER . ERM . EH . ACTUALLY..." haha , u know ? that kind of stuttering shit , like i dun know what i want to say .

But this time , i was able to talk confidently , telling them directly , what my ideas were and so on so forth. haha . and the indian dude seems impressed right at the start . Haha , and they had to look thru my whole stack of Certificates , LOL. I brought many just for reference , the HR girl photocopy all . Imagine , MY PSLE cert was in there too .

WAHAHA . they would have seen i'm a :
Mathematics A*
English A
Science A
Chinese A
STUDENT !

I'm pretty confident about it all . so here's where my career will kick off , from a tiny internship . Just like my bro , where everything already started . I can't lose out .

so here we go . =)

anyway , if i get selected , that's GREAT cause zara is just a walk away ! WAHAHA . SPEND SOME $$$ !

ACT.469 - my confidence killed me .

I'm called for an interview with Lufthansa . and i have 3 other competitors .

so wish me luck !

i heard there are other students attached there as well . so ... FOR TP Logistics GIRLS ! =) wahahahahaha .

rockin' my world.