rockin' my world.

ACT.68 - i can't dream yet another dream without u .

Been having dreams every night for the past few days ... hahz .. but can't remember what are they about anyway ... as long as not nightmare every night good liao ... wahaha ...

Today is the first Dragoboat training when the freshies join ... haha , lots of people today .. but next training , lots gonna leave for sure ...

There's only one very very fit guy , even fitter than me by quite some amount . That's probably the only guy i noticed , the rest arh ... ahem ...

Thursday , Saturday , Sunday training ... seriously tired man .. if i still go to gym everyday ... might fatigue arh ... but who cares anyway... wahaha .. no life hoh ? =[

to think about it .. my life's been everyday gym for the past year . i can't believe a year passed by so quickly ? can't believe it man ... and i'm still so not fit .. aRrrGGgghHHHH ... stressed -____- ""

Race is coming soon .. in 2 weeks and another in one month .. i guess this time i'm in for action ... haha .. must remind myself not to be nervous .. everytime i nervous arh ... cannot perform well or perform normally ...

Competition for Wolfestein : Enemy's Territory ( Game ) , is coming also ... arrrGGGghhhHHH !! haven get my team on ready status yet .. so busy .. everyday no free time ... haha ..

Projects and tutorials ... ARrrrGGGGhhh X 3 ! stress stress ... i have too many responsibilites ... lol . Gotta do things slow and steady , wen cha , wen ta .

tired man .. just came home ... off to sleep ! =]

posted by Ben @ 5/31/2005 11:34:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.67 - 2nd day of school .

well , today only 2hrs of sch .. haha .. the lesson was some how interrupted .. thanks to some electric circuit problem ... then it became less than 2 hrs ..

went gym after that , trained myself though ... i forget to take my adidas pants ... think it's gone liao ... =( $40 bucks sia ... but bought in sec 3 . my first bball pants .

tml db training .. can't wait . sunday also got training . hope my running still in form . if not sure suffer tml .

posted by Ben @ 5/25/2005 06:26:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.66 - Reality defies .

Thoughts running through my head .

i suddenly feel so lost . i can't catch up with my friends anymore . no matter how hard i try , i can't .

I wonder why i always have such personal and emotional problems in my life . from p6 , til now .

in p6 , Mrs Lee Goy asked us to write bout our best friends in our journals ... everybody had a best friend in mind , so does the opposite party , they wrote bout each other . i had no one . i had someone in mind , but no matter how hard i try , or no matter how close we were as friends , i'm not one in his my mind .

i feel like a fool . i felt like i'm all alone in this world , i can't find anyone i really really can confide in . sometimes no matter how hard i try , it just doesn't work out .

i feel like i only have my family . but what's a man with no bestest friends ?

i'm somehow always left out . When my friends come together and went out , they miss me out sometimes . in fact , most of the times .

No matter where i go , i'm laughed at . No one ever told me that they really appreciate me . sincerely . No one would tell me "i'm always behind u . " only my family . Thank Heaven for Mum , and Bro esp .

i hope what the shi fu told me is true . Lonelines sips in every now and then . i can't stand alone anymore .

posted by Ben @ 5/24/2005 11:16:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.65 - i'll miss you Taiwan .

i'm back ! for more bombastic action ! 7 days with little sleep , man , vacation is very stressed !!

This trip is really amazing , i can't describe .. but i'll miss Taiwan ! it's such a country with amazing , breathless scenery and the people there are so so so so so warm and friendly ..

i've learnt really a lot from the tour guide and the trip , bout myself especially , fengshui shi fu told me a lot bout me and my future ... i knew it ! i ain't suffering now for nothing .

But after this trip , i've just found out more evidence to back me up , that i'm really fortunate ! but the thing that worries me is , that my dad , mum , bro , all have Boss lives .. i'm the only one that she can't tell ... hey hey , i'm the only guy in the family who wants to be a entreprenuer lei ! haha ... b4 my nS , i will go again , that's for sure . i have to go .

My tour guide is the most amazing factor of all ... haha .. i shan't elaborate ..

but then again , there ain't time for shopping ! the things there ain't cheap and the branded stuff there are really EXPENSIVE !! can't even get a puma shirt or adidas crap ...

i didn't managed to get a wallet , hand acessory and bag ... but $$$ also not enuf lah ... lol ... i bring 100 bucks over hoh , plus my mum's sponsoring , also no enuf ...

k lah .. i go wash up le ... i think we took bout 300 plus pics ... wahahhahahahahahahaha !!!

posted by Ben @ 5/23/2005 01:15:00 AM 0 Comments

ACT.64 - Why Heaven so like that !!

Let's start off first with .. why my peer mentoring grp ( juniors under me ) only 2 FEMALE !!!! WHAT THE HELL !!! and alex has 5 ???!!! i know one lohx , they sure purposely one ... KAOZ !!!

Today went dinner with lian hua dang ...but first we went to paragon for gi kian's medical check up ... lol .. at the clinic laugh and laugh ... i think that's the noisiest day of their lives in the clinic ..

Then went dinner ... haha , very power arh we .. keep eating and eating ... then eat until so damn full ...

anyway , b4 we went for dinner , was walking along singtel in orchard , and this lady came up to me for modelling ... i was like " no thanks ... " then she said she was like standing there for very long .. and i saw she only have a few names only ... so i was like ok lohx .. haha .. but i don expect much ... but maybe someday u see me on the frontpage of Teenage sia ... lol , just kidding ...

Well , i can say today is really a nice day ... just pretty tiring ... i saw a member of Mazda Club singapore , and his Miata is like so so so so so so so chio !!! i am breathless man ! the light lit up , showing his nickname ... COOL !!!

k lah ... taiwan in 2 days ! huat arh !!

posted by Ben @ 5/13/2005 10:59:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.63 - Back !

i'm back from peer mentoring camp .. Well , kinda don regret going it ... i've made great friends like Taufik , Mil , Adeline , Seth and lots more ...

The first day of camp .

i was separated from the guys , eric , alex and wen zhong , fortunately , they are of the same grp . i'm in grp 2 .
my grp is made up of , me , samantha , taufik , mil , adeline , celine and alex , piak joins in later .

i thought that it's gonna be kind of boring and sucks when coming to be in grps with other people .. but this grp was great ! esp , taufik , mil , adeline .

i had great fun with my grp and of course , eric and guys as well ...

Anyway , i wanna show appreciation to wen zhong , alex , eric , yuan hao and bird man , niao . Thanks for everything . i really appreciate . u guys are great , i'll never forget u guys .

As well as my secondary sch mates ! i missed them and must find some time to meet up again and kick butt ! Lian hua Dang !


I guess it's time for me to move on , everyone's getting attached and my friends were like saying , " ben ah ben ... you better catch up ... " something like that ... lol ..

blog some other day bah .. yawnx ...

posted by Ben @ 5/11/2005 05:40:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.62 - Hero.

It's a long road .
And you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand ,
for you to hold .

You can find love ,
if you search within urself
and that emptiness you felt will disappear .
If you look inside your heart,
you don't have to be afraid of what you are .
There's an answer
if you reach into ur soul.

And the sorrow that you know , will melt away.

And then a hero comes along ,
With the strength to carry on .
And you casts ur fears aside ,
and you know u can survive.
So when u feel like hope is gone ,
Look inside you and be strong .

And when u finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you .


Just came back from DB .. had fitness test today .. my running improved .. situps remain ... kinda ok that i ran 9.20 ... but i was some how not satisfied .. cause the person in front of me ran 9.00 ... i felt so lousy .. i've gotta work harder ..

Feeling a little unhappy .. i'm not too sure ... it's like something is missing from my life .. i missed the times when i spend my nights chatting on the phone with may anne or angelia .. i miss chatting on the phone . i miss my friends . i miss my ncc times . i miss the times of a kid , of a secondary sch kid . why i was so complacent in the past .

Dad asked me , why i work so long , i nv even bring a cent back . i'm not too sure also .. i'm so stingy with every cent i earn . why am i so unlike my bro , the first time he worked when he was sec 3 , he bought me my nike bag .. and it's $50 bucks , imagine that out of a 3 days pay ..

i don't know what's with me . why i can't appreciate my parents ,my family . Why am i so selfish . Why can i be a ruthless selfish bastards when it comes to personal interests ... why can i do such cruel stuff when the opportunity comes , is my heart black ? i guess my class mates know .. i can be really be a bastard or be so cruel with my actions ...

guess it's time to do some reflections . it's no wonder i'm still single , and why i didn't have a nice experience .

I always make myself lose everything . Angelia , then Came May Anne . then i start to blame them , or blame heaven , but not myself . although we are friends once again .. things ain't the same .

what kind of person am i ... i always thought i was the perfect partner for any girl ... really i had such thoughts in the past , but boy i was wrong .

TTM ? ya ... just gotta find that missing item in my life . i need someone to complete my life . i need a hero to save me . .

posted by Ben @ 5/05/2005 11:29:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.61 - Life just sails ahead .

Don't ask me what i have been doing for the hols ... haha .. cause it really sounds like as good as studying .. Gym , Work , Dragonboat , that's all ! and of course .. we go to town frequently , sit there and talk kok .. but somehow , we are getting sick of that ..

Lazy to catch infection liao ... gonna spend $$$ on Coach carter ! wahaha ... then go get PCI wireless lan card , Half life 2 ... very heartbreaking .. when i slogged for a week plus .. i gonna spend it ... haha ..

next week peer mentor camp ? or this week ? wah ... sian sia .. no motivation .. i think i will train myself somehow or rather during the camp ... think i bring dumbells lah ... wah jia lat , got so many things bring .. Protein , Cytovol .... kaoz !!

aiya ... so sian now ... haha ... holidays no mood to blog ..don know why ... machiam nobody come see also ...

posted by Ben @ 5/04/2005 01:51:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.60 - Always on my Mind .

Haha ... i find it kinda funny ... what's always on my mind , isn't girls or issues that bother me ... it isn't bout the society and what's going on lately either ..

it's Automotives and racing ! when i'm on the bus ... just start thinking bout all that ... time just passes so fast , even though it's bout 40 mins or what ... it just really keeps me obsessed . guess i'm really mad bout automotives ...

All right , ytd have DB training .. but b4 that , have work at kopitiam ... so tiring sia .. so many humans , tourists and guests come in have breakfast .. not to mention 2 particular kao pei grp ...

After DB training , we went to marina south celebrate vivien's bd .. haha ... when we already started dinner ... it's kinda of late ... big problem finding spaces ... oh man .. kinda feel guilty after eating so much bad stuff ... arrrGGGHH !!

went home pretty late .. reached home bout 1130 .. slept at 1230 .. and woke up at 5.30 !!! was so buay song when waking up so early and having so little sleep .. labour day lei ! haha ...

then see the 2 kao pei grp again ... :S

supposed to go train with the guys in sch today after work , but i feel kinda of tired .. might go sick if i don have rest ... so went home instead ...

can't wait to go to taiwan ... very sianx sia ! haha .. can't wait to bully ppl when they serve me breakfast ... wahahhahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! evil ***

all right .. back to my lord of the rings " battle for middle earth .

posted by Ben @ 5/01/2005 03:48:00 PM 0 Comments