rockin' my world.

ACT.59 - Lost faith in myself .

Well , i just watched initial d episode 13 and 14 .. 14 was the kinda sad and hilarious one ... it kinda brings back some feelings ... sometimes when u are going out with a girl .. and u thought it was going pretty well .. and suddenly the tables turn totally , maybe the truth could be hidden from you or something ..

ARrrrGGGhhh ... those feelings hurt ! i can recall the times when i get so disappointed or so hurt by what my ex gfs say ..

To think of it , i guess i still ain't ready for a relationship yet .. in fact , i was never ready for one . i never truely loved anyone b4 , i guess .

maybe i'm too immature for love , guess time makes me more mature as well ... Kinda lost faith in myself . that confidence i used to have in me , it's kinda gone now .

Currently , i'm not gonna go all out to woo any girls ... i would rather love come look for me , then seek for love itself . Besides , i always fear the bad outcomes , but then again , if you don try , then you might be losing a chance ... what a dilemma .. haha ..

i guess i'm too afraid to be hurt anymore ... well well , anyway , now no girl ... also don need talk so much ... i'm tired ... should be off to bed soon ...

posted by Ben @ 4/27/2005 12:23:00 AM 0 Comments

ACT.58 - A Shooting Star .

During Debrief on thursday DB , i looked up in the swimming pool at the moon ... and i saw something flashed by .. i blinked my eyes ... cause i couldn't believe my eyes .. Was it a shooting star ? it was just there for a split second ... but i didn't make any wish ... haha .. pai sei sia .

What happened on DB made me think bout it again ... thoughts still run through my mind til today ...

So we went to town again after team xplode training again ... right , every 2 days go town , then sure go cineleisure ... see karin one ... lol .. then also got go disturb jeffrey at Heerens ... heng heng , i never work at orchard ..

After Guess Who movie , we head down by escalator .. at 2nd floor , that's where i saw Adelene [ my primary school mate ] , i was thinking whether it was her ... i didn't call out , but she suddenly turned over ...

Yeah , it was her , kinda missed her too , after year 2003 and 4 , we kinda lose touch , she's really a fantastic friend , being there when i needed someone , very good companion too , haha .. wonder why no guys appreciate her . After meeting her , she msg me her new no. ... buay PAi sei arh !! now then msg me ! gonna kill her sia !!

Well , i have been thinking bout it too , who am i living for ? haha , i thought bout it .. the society really sucks , they ain't made up of people u really want , what is happening to us now , will happen to us in the future , in the working society ...

Haha , well , at least i have a answer to myself , i live for automotives . i just find my purpose in them ... i don mind if i end up repairing cars and being just a car technician .. i'll be more than happy to serve passionate car drivers . yes of course , i live for the Rx-7 !

Guess it's in the Dad Genes ... made me love cars so much .. my bro also likes the Rx-7 and initial d ... but not as much as me .. but everytime Takumi and so on pit themselves to each other on the race ... can't describe the feeling i have . i only wish i was the one driving .

hmmm , maybe heaven is giving me a chance now ... haha , later got DB training ... wah kao !

posted by Ben @ 4/23/2005 10:15:00 AM 0 Comments

ACT.57 - Fine day =)

Today was DB training gym day ... felt pretty good after the whole training .. after training .. we guys went to KFC .. haha , another person's birthday again ... it seems like every training got ppl's birthday ... oh well ...

Today watched Initial D episode 11 !! SO exciting sia ... haha , Takumi VS cappucino ... was too busy to watch it but finally dug out time today.. my dumb bro came home so i can't watch episode 12 .. there are so many facts behind racing and sometimes what Ryosuke is talking bout ... really makes me confused .. bout physics , weather conditions , advantages of car ... Weight of the car ... my GOD !! never mind , but one day i'm gonna be better than him !

Today also happy for another reason ... haha ... oh well , what else ? wahahah ..

God bless me with a miracle this time ! although i don believe in God or whatever bcos i believe in myself .. AIYA !! just give me a nice chance so i can go GRAB it ! humans still need luck and chances ... that i can't deny ... haha ...

wah , initial D really made me so hyper .. can't sleep liao lah ...

posted by Ben @ 4/20/2005 12:37:00 AM 0 Comments

ACT.56 -Miracle[x] .

Hoping for a star to fall upon me now ! =)

posted by Ben @ 4/17/2005 11:51:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.55 - One man standing .

All right , i was late today for training with rajeev and guys .. supposed to meet at 10 ... i woke up at 10 ! my GD88 alarm really sucks sia ... gotta change a phone at the end of this year .. cause it's kinda spoiling .. and why ??!! thanks to me ... dropping the phone here and there ... haha ..

After training with the guys , went a walk round orchard ... and sat down at lido and TKSS with the guys .. was tired .. that's all .

haha , forgotten what i used to tell my friends : " nan ren bu shi xia de ! " - men are not blind .

Yeah , and i forgot to tell myself that ! sometimes when i show interest in a girl , i take quite some time to go get to know her ... and sometimes or would i say , i am too late ... That's probably one of the gOOD reasons why i'm still single ... haha .. oh well .. never mind , the time will come ..

Well , i can't deny when i see couples walking hand in hand on the streets , teasing each other and laughing or even whacking the guy ... i kinda missed the times being in love ... haha .. Why like that ??!!! come poly liao , still no progress ...

Oh well , at the meantime , concentrate on DB ... and try change the weak points of me ...

Anyway , still gonna be a automotive engineer lah ! who cares !! initial D episodes coming out very slow sei ... PROJECT D GaMBATTE !! !!! [ haha , like very kiddish sei ... ]

posted by Ben @ 4/15/2005 10:26:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.54 - Breaking Point .

First to announce ... woo hoo ! i've got ABs !!! in just today ... wahaha .. although it's not 6 , it's 4 refined ones .. but it shows improvement !! aiya .. just feel happy bout getting my past figure back .. =)

all rite , just came back from class chalet with people .. i also just dyed my hair , brown with ash brown / grey ... but i'm never gonna ever dye at storm again ... suxss ... gonna go back to colour house man ..

The match wasn't very good .. shld have chosen a more blonde colour ... oh manx ...

haha .. anyway , who cares ... it's gonna fade away some other time ...

Class chalet wasn't full of activities .. but it was fun ... that's kinda weird .. cause for the first time , not much activities for a chalet , still kind fun ... oh well ...

have been eating crap for the past few days .. lots of cup noodles and chips and junk food ... so i'm feeling kinda weak now .. don have enuf nutrition ... not to mention .. my lower back hurts and i feel like i'm gonna fall sick anytime ...

Anyway , my bro almost died / got injured in a car accident on sunday ... my dad's lorry all of a sudden flat tyre .. and the whole lorry no control ... luckily his friend wasn't on high speed and he controlled the situation well .. if not i would lose my bro in just one day's time .

Makes me kinda worried bout speeding now ... but how to not speed !! arrRGGGGGHHHHHHhhh !! haha ..

anyway , some improvements in my initial d ... oh well , actually decided to quit it ... ;) i think my love for it will never end ... Go Project D ! fuck the new initial D movie !

posted by Ben @ 4/15/2005 12:00:00 AM 0 Comments

ACT.53 - Shou Fang Kai .

posted by Ben @ 4/09/2005 11:37:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.52 - My Dream .

You guys sure will say i'm very amibitious and irrealistic after reading this ...

My dream in my years to come , is to build a automotive school in Singapore , Buy over the Race / Rally track currently processing in Tuas now , and build another downhill track in Singapore . Raise Singapore's Automotive standards to be known in the world .

Of course , i have my ways ,i don't say projects / suggestions that ain't possible . I'm always good at planning for the future . The only thing left , is determination , hard work and lots of time . This project can only be completed when i'm 50 . So Please bless me to live this long =)

and also , I'm gonna get Mazda / Toyota to be the school's sponsor .. but sad to say , Rx-7 and Rx-8 will be already exterminated from this earth already ... haha , i don't think Rx-7 and Rx-8 can be as legendary as Toyota Corolla AE86 ..

oh well , but there's a obstacle in my plan . First i have to be pilot to have the cash to open the school , but if i become a pilot , i won't be able to open the scool , lacking experience and everything . But if i follow the automotive line , i won't have enuf cash !!!!!! haha ... never mind ,let myself lead my own way . When there's a will , there's a way [ Yeah Yeah ]

posted by Ben @ 4/08/2005 10:48:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.51 - It all hits right back to u .

hmm , really missed the days back at Changi Airport with the ncc dudes ... so far , i seriously think they are the best whole bunch of friends i had ... haiz .

9th apirl end of the world ? oh well , just a few things to say ... i haven get car licsense !! i haven drive a real car yet ! i haven get my FD !!! OEI !!!!!!!!!!!!!

been thinking lately ... haiz . need to either sort my tots out or have a nice talk with someone .. probably may anne or someone . i need some time with myself as well , take a break from this urban landscape ..

going taiwan for 7 days with family ... hope it'll be a great vacation .. i really hope .

posted by Ben @ 4/04/2005 11:10:00 PM 0 Comments

ACT.50 - What Makes a Man

holidays over ... kinda bored now ... work work work ... training training .. work is the most sian one ... must wake up early and sleep late ... but today work wasn't so bad ... felt pretty contented .. =)

Enjoying Singlehood life now ... for 2 years ... woo hoo ... feels pretty good , no one hurting u and all that ... oh well ..

my hair salon is having 49% on all hair services !! WOO HOO !!! SATAN RULES !! i can dye my hair cheaply ... ASH BROWN !! YEAH BABY !! happy happy .. end of this month i go dye ... can't wait !

that's bout it .. later gonna go play bball ... then tml start training liao ... i spent a total of 300 + on supplements .. hope my efforts pay off !! Myoplex = 124 , Cytovol = 60 , procomplex = 75 , Nitro Explode = 80 . wallet burnts liao ...

posted by Ben @ 4/03/2005 01:20:00 PM 0 Comments