rockin' my world.: July 2004

Sunday, July 25, 2004

a world turning round and round . a life just like a rollercoaster . Never stops til i find her . ~ perhaps "her " is right in front of me , just that i didn't do anything to get closer to her .. make sure i grab my chance next time .. ~ i'm not very happy now . in fact , whatever we have said , made me decide . made me have a clearer state of mind . i may have to say sorry . ~ well i guess , i give it a shot then . i've made up my mind ... ~

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

another night , another day .

i don't know what to say , i don't know whether i am happy , or not . am i ? Will i ever love again ? if tomorrow never comes .. what if ? i don't know .. but i know , i'll be waiting .. ~

This is a corrupted world . A Cruel world . A world undone .. Why is it that , when u always love someone , and she always never seems to love u back .. and the worst is , she gets the same treatment she gives u ... oh well , a world that i can't understand .

i'm taking Dad's lorry to school everyday .. at least i'm getting closer to him on the long trip .. i really wish to give my parents a good life in the future . Stop Dreaming .Be Somebody . All talk and no action . i know . it's time for Action .

i hate it when my bro always bring his girlfriend back home for dinner and all that .. i hate it when they would laugh and tease each other all that . i missed the times . it has been 1 year and bout one month that i have been single . Countless attempting driving to nowhere .i get real tired at times , but i must strive on with life . i still have my parents , my brother , my friends to live for . i won't give up . and i pray there'll be someone new .

my life is really going too smoothly now .. will a storm come by to rock the waters ? or will i finally reach my dream destination ?

Everyone is going through a bad time . Sad . Angry . Annoyed with life . i feel nothing , is it right ? a man without a soul , a knight without the sword ..

how's Adelene ? how's may anne ? how's precilla , wan teng and meiling ? how's beverly ? how's everyone else ? i don't know .. i don't know . God bless them .

Cyndi's poster is up on my wall le .. , at least that can brighten up my day a little , but usually after dragon boat ,i'm too tired to even look at her... haha ..

Basketball competition is coming soon . Failure is not a option . i wanna achieve what i once had .

oh well , am i too serious or what ? it's kinda weird that my life is so simple right now , only with Maybelene's boyfriend and all that ... but someday we might kick that guy's ass . i'm from DragonBoat ok ! haha ... what the hell is it with me ..

i have been crazy lately , drinking lots of green tea , milo , water and trying to avoid fried food a lot and i love to keep running and running and running ! haha , in a year , i'll be a dragon for sure . i hope .. haha ..

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Sunday , day For homework ! ~ i just had my first exp of dragon boat rowing ytd .. and it rocks ! Think Dragon Boat brought me a new life . Just like NCC . of course , i still wanna contribute to ncc . if i have the time , i'll drop by ... ~ Dragonboat . Endurance . Team . I love it . ~ And finally i can relax to do my homework . oh yeah , i feel so motivated for homework ... haha . ~ All right , until now my angel hasn't appeared , but i'm sure she will come one day :) ~ Just bought a Cyndi Poster .. haha , thinkin bout whether i should put it up or what ... cause it's like very childish to put up idol posters . Oh well , think bout it . ~ Rx-7 . Can't stop thinking bout it . The dream is coming closer . ~ i keep thinking bout Initial D forth stage . Oh man , must be the 2 rx-7 driven by the Takahashi brothers ... ~ i understood a step further bout what is true love .. hmm , the show on channel u made me realised . That u should let her go , go with her dreams if u really love her . Time is a test , of whether u really love her . If u cannot pass this test , then the conclusion is clear . Fate will bring the 2 of u together again . Love is bout sacrificing , u must learn to set her free .. ~ guess it ain't a dumb show after all .. haha , besides , the female lead is cute ! hmm , not say cute la , but certainly my type of angel . ~ i'm off , off to kick some butt liao , homework and perhaps bball ...

Friday, July 16, 2004

A new life ! is it true ? ~ I love dragon boat now .. and i don't wanna stop . i can't bear to leave ncc too ... Contradiction . Dilemma . I've got a busy life right now .. and that's kinda good and bad . Cause a busy life stops me from thinking so much ... but now , 24hrs isn't good enuf . Tomorrow dragon boat again .. man , i love running ! ~ i've found a new good friend too .. hope she is someone who can stop throughout .. and i also hope for one thing . that she don't fall in love with me . ~ So how's everyone ? i have been losing track with lots of people .. ~ i'm doing very well in a module which i don't really like , which is oral Communication . haha , my friends thought i was a debator ... haha .. but i know that i'm gonna score very well here , thanks to NCC which gave me chances to talk a lot . haha ... ~ in school right now .. school has been fun ..but i need time to relax .. hope God give me more time ! haha .. what i mean by this ? i also don't know ... ~ have been listening to Boa's - Waiting . Fell in love with that song .. haha , why i always like old songs arh ? like the other time was An jing , now this song .. haha , i'm rather weird ain't i ? ~ haha , have been singing quite a lot lately ... hope to go to KTV soon .. haha , miss the times with my buddies . ~ Holidays gonna come soon , hope i have time to be with them again .. gtg , lesson gonna start ...

Thursday, July 15, 2004

School rocks my life man ! ~ Dragonboat - had my first training yesterday .. and i was like ... haha , i can really be a dragon in a year man .. ~ School sucks ! so much things to do .. i don't know why my class so stressed sia .. why all the lecturers put everything upon us ! we are no gifted class leh ... ~ But i sure like the busy life i'm having man , just that i don't have enuf time to play games and relax .. ~ i gtg .. i have to go sch soon ... got so many tests coming up ... wish me luck man !

Sunday, July 11, 2004

A contented day .. ~ oh , started off my day by eating breakfast and watching GUESS GUESS GUESS , that jacky wo show , and they were featuring sissy's teenage boys and i almost threw up .. i was like .. MY GOD ! haha .. i couldn't eat my breakfast .. ~ Next up , was just for laughs on Channel 5 , hilarious man ! haha .. sure perked up my day ! next was .. ONE Piece ! haha .. then after that .. er .. what i did arh ? forget liao .. ~ hmm , then i read newspaper .. and i was reading on articles bout the rich and the poor all that , there was a particular section which really touched me ..pretty long story. haha , lazy to say out .. ~ school again tml ... hai.. what a weekend .. housework and housework .. ~ school .. haha it's a good thing that school started .. gets me more occupied .. ~ hmm , i'm reminding myself of one thing . what wan hua told me .. Don't look for love this time , let it look for u . and yeah , i'll take note of it .. :) ~ Life is beautiful .. yeah it is . but sometimes .. obstacles stand in our way and make us think that life sucks .. but actually , it's just part and parcel of life ain't it ? just gotta move on .. ~ watched the 130 show on channel u .. i realised something . that a scene is just like me and may anne in the past .. oh man .. what am i thinking .. but i sure like the show .. some parts are really dumb , but some parts are nice ... haha , my guy friends think it's stupid .. ya actually it's dumb , on the outside .. ~ oh well , i missed the lsat week episode thanks to my buddies .. haiz !~ gotta sort out my tots ! pretty confused now .. i have no aim man .. oh well , what am i saying ... gtg now ..

Friday, July 09, 2004

A new life ? A life full of challenges ahead .. ~ my life is becoming more busy .. Have projects to do .. homework .. gotta spend time with my buds .. spend time with family .. ~ S&W on thursday was a killer . My back is seriously aching after the training .. Have dragonboat training from next week's onwards .. can i endure for 3 years ? or will i back out soon .. hope i can perservere ... ~ Love Love Love . so where is the Cupid angel pointing at ? well i don't know .. guess love is cannot be rushed anyway . Fate . Destiny . Hope . ~ Well .. no one can change one's fate when something has already happened .. right ? but sometimes .. god decides ur fate .. ~ So what type of person i'll be next time ? will i be a pilot who i really wish to be ? or will i go into the line i'm doing now .. or will i be someone else ? these are qn's bout my future which everyone wants to know bout their's .. ~ will i ever find the love of my life ? i always said i want someone to love .. but when she comes .. why is it always be myself who drives her away ? is that my destiny ? nv be able to have anyone ... ~ But when i have someone .. i have so many frustrations .. why is this so ? then isn't it as good as having no one ... ~ Spiderman 2 . a meaningful show .. but , just didn't meet the expectations i have for it .. but it's not bad . " with great power , comes great responsibilty . Given the gift . " " why is it that no matter how hard i try .. it would be the ones who i love who suffers ... " ~ Solitaire .. this song still stays in my heart . really love it ... perhaps it has real special meaning to me .. ~ oh , wanna take care of myself real well b4 i go into intensive schedule .. wanna go for a dental checkup to find out what is really wrong with my teeth .. a full body checkup cause there may be something wrong with me .. but hope i'll be fine . :) ~ actually last night , i had the urge to sms or call may anne ... i don't know why .. perhaps to catch up with her .. whatever is happening round her .. is it that , i still care ? that she's still my best friend ? but i still can't forgive her .. i need time . ~ Having dreams almost everyday . Fantasies that i never dreamt b4 . what is going on ? why the dreams portrait a daring and brave me ? or weirder stuff .. why did i lost my mind ? why did i lose my friends ? i can't recall much .. but soon the answer will come . What's going on ? ~ i'm working pretty hard now . aiming for Finland attachment next year .. aiming for University after NS . Singapore , Australia or England . Pilot in US . Automotive engineering in Australia . just hope to give my family a real good life ... ~ Guess .. all my friends are caught in the game of love , i mean some .. the qn would be Why . isn't it ? no one knows why .. except u . ~ Changing. a changing world . People change . one by one... gone . ~ i don't know why i'm saying such weird stuff anyway .. perhaps .. i'm losing my mind or that i wanna start afresh . i wanna forget bout all the bad things and move on . Don't care what people say , don't care whether i have a gf or not . all i need is my family and friends... all that i need .

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

2nd week of poly .. ~ FIrst project ! oh my .. then i'm in a grp .. which does not think a lot ! the other guy is so quiet that i have to put my head near to his mouth to hear what is he talking .. then the other 2 girls .. oh my .. one is like a butch .. haiz ... the main thing is .. THINK AND CONTRIBUTE !! but ... ~ oh well .. Larvina is in NGEe ann ?? the girl who works in swissotel ? wasn't she in JC ? saw her ytd and today .. and ... She has BF??!! oh well .. she changes bf like underwear .. haha ... ~ quite a few troubles in my mind .. have to sort things out pretty soon .. Poly's gonna get busy soon too .. ~ hmm .. my grp has a incredible Liar .. what the heck .. now i very unhappy with me .. luckily Eric has the same thinking as me .. i will not believe what he says .. whenever he says anything , i will say " bullshit ! " or " i don't believe ! " .. haha .. make him shut up . ~ so tired ... a long day at school .. everyday school ends at 5 .. my god .. what type of time table is this .. ~ out of 5 days .. 4 days bring laptop ?!! i can die bringing that machine everyday leh ... ~ so tired .. so tired .. why isn't she still online ... waiting and waiting .. Hope everything works out ... ~ Wanna go have a great time this weekend .. catching Spiderman 2 on thursday ! ain't that great ! oh my .. can't wait to check out the graphics .. woo hoo !

Sunday, July 04, 2004

School just ROCKS !! ~ oh man .. i wasted my weekend on a chalet .. that suck !! should haev stayed home and played my laptop or what ... ~ look forward to school so much man .. basketball tml !! woo hoo !! chose bball for my S&W module also .. and that rocks baby !! haha .. ~ Hmm .. so everything has ended . Guess it's time to move on . This time ard , i don' wanna lose this opportunity . what am i talking bout ? haha .. soon u guys will know . My buddies already know .. plus my mum . haha .. ~ and by the way .. my TIME TABLE SUCKS !! everyday 5 o'clock go home !! what the hell !! why like that ?! but can sleep late liao ... haha .. ~ going to school .. is such a chore !! so far .. can't wait to get my driving licsense .. muhaha .. ~ dad's gonna buy me a new bike .. woo hoo !! new TV .. but bro is gonna get a ... NOKIA 7200 !!! what the hell !! and me .. a GD88 ?? wah lao .. ~ dad was forcing me to get a Xbox that day .. but guess now i don't need one to kill time le .. haha .. school can kill me .. ~ gonna Get Wireless le !! my bro and me always quarrel over internet .. so our parents are willing to do and pay anything to stop the fights ... but of course we try to keep the cost down la .. ~ love my laptop man .. although it ain't a very good one , it still can rock ! oh man .. what crap am i talking .. ~ i think there's a very nice girl in my class .. she's not very pretty but she's great .. i don't know .. i need someone to heal me anyway . ~ Dragonboat . gonna join dragon boat man !! yeah ! make sure i have determination ... ~ Guess school made me felt better ... make me feel more occupied .. so i won't feel so bad inside . ~ I guess i don't wanna miss chances anymore . ~ Automotive engineering and management .. why singapore don't have this course !! My this course arh . everything also overseas one leh .. work overseas .. further studies overseas .. ~ aiya .. me talk too much crap le .. going off .. *look forward to school .

Friday, July 02, 2004

Reality . Face the music . Say the truth . Don't lie . isn't that the best solution ? sometimes .. it ain't is ... ~ another crossroads . wow .. ain't this world full of crossroads . i don't know whether i should run away or face it bravely . i have too many burdens with me .. and i wanna give one up . but to give that up .. takes a lot of courage and thinking to do so ... ~ what am i supposed to do ? the reason i'm not saying it out here bcos people will talk and it may get spreaded to the people involved . that's worse .. haiz .. what to do man .

Thursday, July 01, 2004

is there anyone hearing me .. Been chased by Reality all my life . Guess it's just another roadblock this time ard .. ~it's over . we've finally sorted everything out . ~ indeed i've said some cruel words .. but it's just to make her give me up .. i'm not the man she would want . she would hate me eventually i guess .. ~ i've changed . my character has been destroyed ever since that incident .. was that incident that scary ? to change me as a man .. to a stranger ? oh .. everything's over . to let go and move on .. ~ I feel .. like i'm a soldier .. given the command to silence my commander ... knowing that i can't .. ~ another detour in my life .. So when is that someone or something gonna come down to heal me ? i suffered ... for nothing ! but at least i'm glad i can stand firm now and make a decision .. no regrets . ~ God gives everyone chances .. i can see from his actions . But .. can he give me those chances ? if he's testing me .. this is too big a test . ~ for now , i concentrate in fulfilling my dreams .. This love . i will not remember . ~ Realitymonster . i'll change my fate .

rockin' my world.