rockin' my world.

Long Juan Feng de shi jie . ~~ Oh .. What is happening to me ... Why am i getting sick of life even with initial d in my life .. ~ So god .. my efforts all go down the drain ? why do always people want love .. yet they push it away when they have someone who wanna be with them always , love them always , give everything they could for them .. ~ Ain't life contradicting ... What is life .. What is LOVe .. ~ God .. what the heck are u telling me huh ? Don't love anyone ? or that there is no such thing on earth called Love ? i don't believe this shit ya know ! Ok ok .. i shall wait for what u planned for me pal ... cause i'm getting a little too sick of life ... ~~ i have someone placed right in front me , my typical angel but why the hell on earth did God placed so so so many constraints .. another qn for u pal ! What the heck are u trying to do ? ~ i'm such a failure dude .. i lost all my good friends .. and those i call good friends ... are they really my good friends ? only when the time i'm dying then they step in and ask " oH god .. what happened ? " ~ Take people for granted .. is that what everyone do ? What cruelty has this world come to .... ~~ what's up next for me pal ? another trick to blind me ? oh yeah you are sure good at playing with my feelings pal ...

posted by Ben @ 4/27/2004 10:27:00 PM 0 Comments

Resurrection of the Rx-7 . ~ it has been a week since i said that promise .. since i played initial D . Today went to arcade again .. Saw this Lvl 11 guy Intergra DC2 .. wanted to challenge him but this guy came in .. and he's a Lvl22 integra Dc2 .. lvl11 guy lost ... and i came in .. was thinking .. do i stand any chance in winning this guy ? Took a look at his racing records .. and i was like .. hey .. i 'm four seconds faster ! ~ Boost on option was switched on .. this guy .. thought i had no chance in winning him .. he was damn wrong .. i lost in the end .. it has been quite some time i have played .. so within this 1 week .. i lost my skills .. it's ok , besides , he's a lvl22 . i'll be back to take my revenge .. ~~ i was a silly boy i realised .. i thrown away all my hard earned money for a girl .. was it worth it ? ~ it was certainly hard earned .. i was working quite hard at the company to meet our target .. and it wasn't easy .. Guess it's just a lesson learnt . don't know how she felt bout what i did ... perhaps cold . Oh well .. ~~ Back to my racing world , back to my one man world , back to my crazy world . ~ sad , depressed , angry of course ... so disappointed with myself .. ~ Oh well ..so it's still Rx-7 and me in the end is it ? Will i be single all my life and just Rx-7 to accompany me ? Perhaps ... ~ What is it that girls want i wonder ? i don't blame them anyway .. ~ I tell myself .. to take it slow next time . Not to go woo the girl directly .. just allow nature to come in .. Let time play a part too ... ~ Pain was all i felt not too long ago . I hated life back then . I never had a new life . and i want to start afresh now . Just a angel .. i ask for heaven to send down .. to heal all the wounds that have created permanent scars in me .. ~ i wonder .. and i wonder ... what's up with heaven ..

posted by Ben @ 4/23/2004 07:46:00 PM 0 Comments

Just hope ... That he loves u more than i do . ~ Today's her birthday .. did some much preparation .. First thing was her presents .. went to Serangoon to get the preparation stuff on sunday .. Done her first present halfway on sunday ... ~ Got home right after work and had some rest .. then went to orchard to make arrangements with the restaurant ... I am so glad that they are so friendly and cooperative .. ~ Got home ... was so tired .. but i still had to finish her present .. so there i was like .. struggling to get her present done .. ok .. did a little .. then i went to reply a msg .. Spectacles lense came off .. so i wanted to repair it .. as my leg got over the present .. i accidentally kicked it as i couldn't see well ... tot nothing happened .. just a small mess .. Who knows .. the container broke .. ~ I was so discouraged man ... i was like .. " WHAT THE HELL !! why must such things happen at the last min ? " i was so depressed .. cause i didn't wanna spoil the programme ... all i was thinking .. was to get it done no matter what . Packed the materials and was prepared to do it in office ... Lay on my bed .. was very frustrated .. tiredness sink in and i went to sleep .. ~ New day again ! it's her birthday ! Went to office .. and at 1100 .. i went to the shop to get the container .. a brand new one ... damn .. closed .. So afraid that i can't make it on time .. ~ 1200 , went to the shop .. quickly bought it and went back to office .. i didn't want any mistakes this time around ! so i cleared everything neatly in case of knocking the container again .. Asked my dear friend to cover my work as i complete the present .. finished it at 2 plus ... was so hungry .. asked officer to have some time to go buy lunch .. he agreed of course .. ~ Just after finishing my lunch .. she msg me .. that her school was ending .. i was like .. " WHAT THE !! " packed everything quickly and i almost forgot the card i bought for her ! was rushing through everything and left quickly .. even left my bag behind .. hoped for a taxi downstairs .. Damn .. why isn't there one ? ~ She said b4 .. that she didn't had a ride in a Mercedes b4 .. so i called the taxi service .. ask for a mercedes one .. lots of problems trying to book one .. finally booked one .. and it came late ! ~ Went to Jack's place ( the restaurant ) , and was so nervous .. but of course .. i got everything done ... i take a look at the time .. it was already 445 ! Damn .. she's late ... quickly went to pay and great .. Credit card ? ~ Went to draw some cash and paid .. on my way i was calling for a taxi liao .. oh great .. Again ! no taxi ? and we went out .. and just in time there was a taxi ... ~~ Damn .. road was a little crowded ... she's late man ... asked the taxi driver to rush .. and he was like " How to rush ? " alamak .. use some brain MR ! don't u know how to speed up when u can ? haiZ ... ~ 110km/hr ... luckily this guy still speeded up .. this taxi driver was giving me some attitude .. hai .. just say thanks and left .. Sent her back home with her big LOAD of presents man ! i never seen so much of presents in my life ... ~ Ok .. that's bout it .. i'm rushing for time now .. so just saying it briefly .. ~ this is the first time i spent so much effort on a girl .. i'm so suprised by myself ! haha .. as long as she enjoys it .. money and effort does not count .. right ? ~ So that's it .. is it gonna be the end of the story ? i don't know .. and i hope not .

posted by Ben @ 4/22/2004 06:08:00 PM 0 Comments

Fly me up .. to where u are . ~ Working again for today ... but .. i was troubled for the whole day .. in fact since ytd .. Couldn't concentrate ... So what is happening to me .. ~ oh man .. Eric passed to me his great sick disease .. hmm .. must be me getting pretty weak lately .. Never really take care of myself .. man .. Don't send me to hospital at this crucial time man ... just do it if u want to after thursday .. ~ " what can i do to make u mine .. Fallen so hard .. so fast this time .. What did i say .. What did u do ? .. How did i fall in love with u ... " i'm not myself .. definitely ... , still holding on .. ~ Life is never a bed of roses isn't it ? yeah .. i know .. after so many incidents .. ~ Anyway ... ALways Look On The BrigHt side Of Life ! Ya ? my life may never be up .. but giving it up makes me already lost the war ... so why not just give it one shot when i'm already in the battle .. ~ i just wanna let u know , whatever's on ur mind .. don't keep it inside .. Let it be heard ... ya ? don't need to hold back .. esp when it comes to me .. ~ Yes .. some people have a bad past .. some don't . But what can those that had a bad past do ? They just let go and move on .. So do that too ! Don't hog on .. let go ... don't think of urself too lowly bcos of ur past .. u still can be worthy of people's love .. all u need is to have faith in me .. and leave the rest to me .. just give it one chance ... ~ i lost in every relationship .. but i've learnt many things from them .. a failure and another .. will always lead to success one day ... My mistakes . i know ... and i have changed ... ~~ Another day has gone .. hope i have another day to love .. ~

posted by Ben @ 4/19/2004 09:22:00 PM 0 Comments

Endless love Endless road ... ~~ I appreciate everyone ... Adelene .. Martin .. my dear friends .. Marcus and Sebastian .. and a lot more .. i won't forget u guys ... Adelene is always there to pick me up .. care for me ... Encourage me to never give up .. although she's not a good advisor .. She tries her best ... Thanks dude . Martin .. my dear cousin .. i won't know what the world would be like if i didn't have u in my life ... All these years .. it's really nice knowing u .. there's too much to say man ... ~~ Marcus and Sebas .. i really appreciate u too .. u guys are very special in a way .. a very unique way ... ~ Wan hua .. although me don't know u that much , and i'm sort of more of a stranger to u , u never ever discourage me .. u pick my spirit up when it was going down ... Help me as much as u can .. And i know edwin is really blessed to have u . No one other than u and adelene will be optimistic . So really thank god ... ~~ I don't know .. i really wanna sing a song .. write a song ... don't know how to start ... ~ So i know .. i shouldn't let everyone down .. i must go for the one i like .. Try and try , u never know right guys ? She perhaps has a painful experience in the past .. and i wanna be the one to remove all that pain from her . Showing to her that there's someone who really can love her and give her all that she ask . Even if it's the world , my career , anything , i'll do . ~ Follow my heart .. let it guide me .. no need to hear what's going on outside . Cause all i care is her . Nothing else ...

posted by Ben @ 4/17/2004 02:40:00 PM 0 Comments

i wish to walk this one way street .. just u and i . ~ i regretted whatever i did today ... she called me .. i should have at least stopped to talk to her ... but .. what the hell did i just did ? i did not even look at her .. just said hi ... what am i doing ??!! oh man ... that's it .. ~ full of regrets ... Why is it that ... i always help others .. yet i can't be who i am when i help others .. i always can't help myself .. and no one is here to help me .. i'm left alone .. the most i have my cousin martin .. no one else . ~ ok .. why didn't i stopped to talk to u and why did i sort of treat u coldly ? it's not that i hate u or what .. it's just that .. i'm afraid to face u ... i'm afraid that u can't be bothered .. i'm afraid that u will give me attitude ... so i chose to run away .. which i jolly well knew i shouldn't . ~ is anyone listening ?? no one seems to care ... ain't it ? other than my ncc pals .. where did everyone go ? just where ... ~~ " so afraid that you're saying it's over .. it's the last thing i wanna hear .. " ~ i know .. no one can give me any answers .. except for heaven . But never heaven will tell me anything ... he only guides .. but he's not doing anything now ... So .. i just hope whatever i do .. is right . ~ i'm tired ... very tired .. but i'm still moving .. i'm trying my best ... ~ i stand alone .. no one can help me except me myself . i have to go on ... ~ God .. wanna ask u this qn ... why are u doing this ? every girl that i meet .. they don't last long . They dump me .. whatever they did . So .. are u telling me not to love any girl ? treat them like dirt ? is it ? What sins have i commited ... to deserve this treatment ? is loving someone wrong ? why must u bring her further and further away from me ... ~ i don't know .. i'm confused .... ~ i know .. with u ... i wanna spend ..the rest of my life .

posted by Ben @ 4/17/2004 02:09:00 PM 0 Comments

Run away ... is all i wanna do now ... But .. Shouldn't u bravely face reality ? run away to a world where all the truth is hidden .. u really want that ? but .. i can't take one more shot .. one more shot in the heart ... and my heart will fail ... i have taken too many shots ... ~ No .. Tell urself boy .. u can do it !! u jolly well know how many girls out there are interested in u .. but u know .. who is in ur heart ! no one else but her ... no girl out there can replace her .. ~ i have to stand up ... and continue walking .. no matter what comes in my way .. i know i have to stand and go on ...~ Initial D .. i lost . For the first time .. i'm beaten ... but i will still walk . I gave up my initial D .. i said .. i wanna save money .. so i can bring her on food tours .. great food everywhere .. for my passion , i wanna give it up . it's the only thing that can thrill me for my passion .. but sorry , i'm giving it up ... Giving up my Rx-7 . bye ... ~~ Wan hua told me .. yes .. you must do the thing .. u cannot do .. Yeah .. i must revive my heart again ... for the sake ofe one i like .. i have to be strong ! i can't be weak ... ~ Heaven .. i just really wish .. for one time .. that i can speak with u .. i have said .. for the girl that i love .. anything she ask .. i'll do .. but .. whatever u are doing .. i don't get it ... i just don't get it .. yes , i do wanna be a pilot . But u really wanna give me my career than give me my family ? my kids ? my wife ? i don't want a good career or whatever shit ... i just want the girl i love ... Take my career away k .. ~~ Yes .. i have always wished for a good career .. for a rx-7 .. for my dream car .. the thing i always wanted .. but i rather u take rx-7 away .. ~ thinking too much ... all i have to do .. is just face reality . Take whatever comes ... although i jolly well know .. my heart cannot take it .. it cannot take any more shots .. but who cares now ... if it has to die than let it die .. i'm staying ! no way am i running ... ~~ If she is not the one .. i just wanna encourage myself .. to move on ... it's just not ur time .. i know .. U wanna love someone so much ... but .. be patient .. step by step .. Let heaven decide.

posted by Ben @ 4/16/2004 10:38:00 PM 0 Comments

I think .. i'm falling ... for u . ~ oh man .. is this another chance or what ... i'm just not myself lately ... Been a little stressed up over things that i can't even be myself .. can't express myself well .. can't get my mind on track ... all i ever think is u ... ~~ Laptops and more laptops .. oh great .. now i have to pay ? oh man ... i think i might be broke .. cause all the money i earned is not for me .. is for the laptop and someone else ... think it's pretty worth it ? yeah ... i just have to scrimp and save .. no more initial d all that ... it's worth it , isn't it ? i'm sure it is ... ~~ i was at work today ... and i was simply going mad ... can't do my work .. can't concentrate ... i wanted to knock my head on the machine .. haha .. kidding ... So the song goes .. " i lie awake .. i drive myself crazy ... Thinking of u . " ( n'sync - drive myself crazy ) ... how i wish the next time i see her .. we can be doing whatever we are doing .. Forever . Til the end of time ... Be just right there .. ~~ oh man .. many of my good friends will be thinking .. Our Dear Boy is in Love again !! yeah .. he sure is ... ~ arrrggghh ! this time ur boy is going mad !! haha .. what's wrong with me ... Even if u ask for the whole world .. i'll give it to u ...~ Endless love .. endless road . Can it be possible ? i believe in it .. cause i just wanna walk this road with u .. forever and ever .. ~~~ oh man ... i'm mad liao la !! someone Save me !! haha ... it's been a long time ever since i was like that right ? dude ... be urself man !! ~ " i know u worry sometimes ... some other girl will make me forget you're mine .. There's not a doubt in this world .. That could take take the place of my no. 1 girl .. Cause i'm all bout u ... all about us .. " All i ever want .. is to be with my girl .. forever and ever . Nothing else .. no one shall come in and spoil anything .. no one can . ~~ Pray hard ... wish hard ... hope a shooting star crosses the sky ... That she'll be mine ... ~ oh man ... what happened to all the other things that were supposed to be on my mind ? ncc .. work ... my family .. where did all that go ? i only have u on my mind .. ~ Everyone .. was hoping that ... my day would come ... that i can finally settle down with a gf .. right ? My dear friends have been searching so hard for one .. And plus the fact that i don't approach girls .. it's pretty hard to find one .. but i believe .. i have one right in front of me ... it's just up to me ... to grab her ... ~ Be yourself ... i can't ! haha ... my dear boy .. forever so in love when he falls into it .. guess i can't change that bout u . Pray . Hope . Wish .

posted by Ben @ 4/14/2004 09:01:00 PM 0 Comments

Cause i will give the whole world .. for you . Anything u ask of me .. i'll do . ~~ Oh today is such a headache day ... First got up in the morning .. of course Typical me , slack at the sofa ... slowly eat breakfast .. slowly make hair ... then found out ... LATE ! i check the timing wrongly .. it was 1000 .. not 1030 !! i flew and went to the road to get a taxi ... Where did all the taxis which was always available go !!! Of man .. i sure need a taxi and bring me one .. and it didn't .. So i called for booking .. ARGGGHH !! From 1st april .. Got booking fee !! then i hang ... wait for a while more ... ~ Oh man .. can't wait anymore .. i'm damn late .. so i book a taxi ... and i waited .. oh man .. A mercedes came !! Oh shit .. i didn't call for a Benz... i just needed a Taxi !! ok .. i don't care . Uncle .. get me there ASAP ! ~~ Then i started checking thru my documents .. oh shit ... i forgot to bring a copy of something !! Oh man .. the meter reads 7 bucks ... should i turn back ? but we were 10 mins in to the journey liao .. what great luck ... Just gamble la .. bet can hand in some other day ... ~~ Ok .. i asked some people along the way bout my enquiry bout that dumb document ... hey hey .. Why everywhere the staff also ladies !! how come so little men !! aiya .. just ask ... ~ Gone thru all the processing then came to the student union .. Then i pass by these 2 ladies .. then they stopped me .. cause i had qns to ask and i don't wanna ask them .. Get me some MEN !! Ask me join the student sports camp .. explained to them .. i wanted some BBALL !! not all sports !! haha .. besides me NCC yeah ? then they still ask me join .. then one of those girls were outside i at the entrance ask bout my Forgot to bring document one ... Then she smile at me .... ???? Ok .. then they ask me what course i study .. whatever blah blah .. then i say i consider bout the camp ... Then me left .... ~~ Next .. CCA booths .. went in .. i was so blur !! CCA booths displays were not clear of their CCA ... so i had to go strain my eyes to see ... where is BAsKetbaLL !! haha .. then i walk ard ... Where's BBALL !! haha .. then this hockey dude ask me join .. then i say consider .. great people to talk to ... then i ask .. where's bball ? They say ... bball requires a trial ... of ur skills .. and i was like ... OH WHAT !! man ... not a trial ... ok la .. thanks anyway ! Then was heading out ... This christian fellowship guy came and approach me ... i tot it was just a survey .. and he handed me a form .. that needed my contact no. ... i was like .. no way am i gonna fall for that trick !! i told him .. sorry .. me from christian school ... and i had enuf of these .. Sorry but thanks anyway ... me consider . ( was that the 3rd time ? haha ..) then me call jian sheng ... ask him confirm dragon boat arh ? then yeah .. then me planning to join the Dragon boat if bball cannot ... so i went in again ... then again .. WHERe's the dragon boat !! walk around a few times like a moron then ask a christian fellowship girl .. she say she didn't see it .. i was like .. Oh great ! Now everything needs trial ? ~ So went to the laptops section... IBM ? ok let's see .. Man !! 3000 bucks !! Bye bye ... i support japanese .. Toshiba !! Ok .. went to check out Toshiba .. the cheapest was .. 2097 bucks ??!! oh man ... then i got all those brochures liao .. went out call mum .. then she got her friend to talk to me .. explained to him ... he say .. GEt Centrino !! Oh man ... Money is needed just for that chip k ? Then i went comparing again ... when back in to check out .. Ok .. so i gave IBM a chance .. then this guy explained everything .. went to trouble to ask his superiors qns he couldn't answer me .. ok .. i'm a computer GEEK ! so i asked him quite a lot .. he entertained me for quite long .. took out so many comparisons paper to compare models with toshiba ... thanks dude ... i appreciate it .. ~~ Ok .. Dear Jian Sheng and Ting xian .. where the heck are u guys !! u guys make me wait til i slept ... hey hey .. ain't that Zul ? ( from my platoon CLT ... ) yo dude ! Talked and talked for some time ... and where are u 2 ! finally ... u 2 came .. at 2 !! i waited for like ... 2 hrs plus ? staring into mid space ? haha ... ~ after that went to eat .. Woohoo .. the fish and chips just rock ..selling at 2.80 bucks .. chendol at 50cents .. ain't it cool ? yeah ... ~~ Went to IT mall .. cause i was told by my mum's friend .. that ACer has cheaper and yet the same functions laptops .. so Funan mall was the target ... ok .. soon reached there ... then we had lots of headaches asking people bout the laptops .. looking at the specs .. headache !! there were like .. 4 storeys of shops to go ? oh man ... ~ came to the higher floor ... Selling computer everything there.. games parts blah blah ... then got Xbox ... time to rock !! Me played Need for Speed underground .. lord of the rings ... and our dear Ting xian play Counterstrike so long .. u make me headache ! haha .. ~ So tired ... then Mr Js .. so worried bout his hair .. bought a tube of gel at watsons .. and we went to toilet to do his hair.. waste our time !! he washed his hair .. and dry it at the hand dryer ? ~ So this was bout my day ... and tots went thru my mind too ... other then this headache matter bout laptop .. i had something always on my mind too ... ~~ REached home .. then went downstairs to cut my hair and repair my damaged hair ... then they were closing liao ma .. the mum and son were so eager to go home .. i think the son only ba .. then i had no money .. i felt so bad cause i had no money .. told him i go draw ... i RAN to the machine man !! then ran back .. don't want delay them .. told the lady boss sorry too ... ~~ Hai ... another day go past liao .. hope things get better for me ... ya ? and each day ... i feel different ... ~ So tired .. but i will try my best to keep my eyes open !! haha ... ~ Are u .. that angel sent from heaven to me ? Just wanna let u know .. never ever gonna let u go .. still holding on ... Always . Promise . ~

posted by Ben @ 4/13/2004 09:53:00 PM 0 Comments

In the end .. it was just a fantasy ... it was no reality ..it's still a long goodbye ... ~ This road of life .. i can't walk anymore .. i'm falling .. i have no more strength ... i'm trying my best .... ~~ That hope .. that keeps my life going .. is it running out ? is it dying ? I'm sick of lies ... so God .. when will u stop lying ... i wanna know the truth of everything .. so please.. don't trick me anymore ... ~ Everyone always praises me to the sky .. but .. why don't i see evidence behind all those praises ... ~ Someone said , when i get into my poly .. girls will flock to me .. and i will be very popular or what ... i don't really think so .. ~ all my life , it was me who approaches girls .. not girls approach me ... very seldom in my life , girls will have their own initiative to sms me ... so .. do u think girls will flock to me ? i don't think so ... ~ NCC and more NCC . i'm very stressed .. to add on with that ..HQ is adding onto the burden .. ~ My family .. will they ever try to understand me ... hope they will try to take that step .. ~ Soon .. i'm gonna fall .. i'm losing it ... i don't wanna become a man who i am not again ... i'm changing again ... ~ The clock is still going right ? soon school will start ... so i have to be patient ... ~ anyway .. hope i regain my spirit again .. the truth i wanted to know all this while will soon be out . i know it ..

posted by Ben @ 4/09/2004 09:03:00 PM 0 Comments

New destination . New Beginning . New hope . New dreams . ~~ i feel that ray of hope in my life again ... ~~ Got accepte into Ngee aNN !! so happy ... my mum told me right away after i got home ...try to bluff me that i couldn't get into ... haha .. what a bad liar !! ~~ Today is a great day ... When i was working halfway .. i tot bout my kids ( sec 3s ncc ) in school ... i felt this sudden rush of hope ...i feel that .. they are not a hopeless lot anymore ... i wanna spend more time with them now .. Although attendance is very poor , but it's ok , i wanna bring this small group of young men thru this hard period . I all of sudden have ideas on how to train them .. i don't know why ... i feel .. My standard and leadership is coming back ... i can THINK again ! and it's great ... i feel so proud of my kids .. haha .. really i am ... ~ My dear boys .. glad that u guys can mature so fast ... u guys no longer have attitude problems and really .. it must be God's blessing man !! i'm so proud of u guys .. able to attain such leadership at such a young stage ... ~ of course .. my last year sec 3s !! u guys really changed .. u all have matured .. i know it . u all no longer have attitude problem and u guys start acting like young men . u guys have attained that leadership by urself all of sudden ever since this year came ... i'm so proud of u guys ! ~~ And of course .. i have gained some new friends !! Haha.. i didn't know i have such supportive friends ... Beverly !! Always there to listen to my grumbling and moaning and never ever complains .. haha .. u just rock baby !! Pei Wen .. always there to make me laugh .. advice me all that ... make me smile too.... Of course ... the crappy Connie ! WE really talk Crap sia !! no sense one lo sometimes !!! haha ... Yan ni also one special girl .. ~~ hmm ..all NP girls ? my friend ever said .. All NP girls are bitches .. not really true ... look at this special lot ! haha .. the amazing 4 ? ~ Initial D !! I have sort of become the Legend of Usui .. no one seem to ever beat me in that map... mu haha ! i just love Rx-7 .. ~~ haha ... so so so happy today .. i never ever feel so contented today .. ~ just as about i was enjoying my joy .. may anne msged me on msn .. i was thinking .. " oh damn .. is God gonna spoil my day in the end ? " .. and of course .. she asked me some qn and i just say my answers , nothing more than that . Cause i know i will flare up again for nothing ... why get myself affected ? yeah baby !! Happy day !! ~~ haha .. i'm glad .. that God did not give me a cruel time at this crucial pt of my time ... i'm still on my way of looking for my girl !! although i really need a new someone to help me erase all the pain i have been thru .. apparently ... she still hasn't come ! but at least i have some great friends with me ! ~ Lian Hua Dang .. not to forget ! i wanna spend more time with u guys .... Let's kick SOme Butt After all our work ya ? LEt's GEt it ON !! ~~ haha ... Bought a new Ff8 toy figure !! It's Gilamesh this time ard !! gonna get laguna soon .. Selphie .. and of course .. TOns of Rx-7 ! ~ i notice that .. i'm one who will spend money on cool stuff .. creative stuff ... spendthrift ? i dn't know but i'm sure one that takes a lot of notice in design ... ~~ i just Love design man !! woo hoo !! going mad liao .. but for once in some long time i go crazy right ?? ~~ and i have been singing quite lately ... Esp Westlife's if your heart's not in it .. and Jay chou's an jing ... if only i had a great voice ... then i can make music a living ... but .. apparently .. i don't have any talent !! haha ... ~~ Today is just a great day ... i love everyone man !! i feel like giving everyone one big hug ... Take care all !!

posted by Ben @ 4/07/2004 09:54:00 PM 0 Comments

Lies Lies Lies .. a world full of lies .... ~~ Is he the man who he seems to be ? Is ur friend the man he is ? Everyone has a dark side .. only whether is it easily reveal ..or not .. ~ How would u really know .. whether the one u love .. really loves u ? no one knows ... except himself ... Don't u think it's unfair ? Bcos .. he could just say.. i Love you . This 3 simple words and u are all convinced .. but deep down his heart .. he was just saying the words ... Unfair world isn't it ? Life is not fair .. they always say .. Life was never fair ... But .. why ? Why did God make each and individual one of us to have a unfair life ? Perhaps i know why ... ~~ " i won't forget the way you're kissing ... The feeling so strong .. while it lasted for so long ... But i'm not the man ur heart is missing .. That's why u go away i know .. " We never seem to be able to forget the past ... Those memories .. Good and bad ... u wanna take them all .. u never let go .. hoping for that impossible .. Hoping that he'll be back ... ~~ " Wo hui Xue zhe Fang qi ni .. shi .. Yi Wei .. Wo tai Ai ni . " ain't Love just incredible ? For the person we love .. we are willing to let go of him / her .. Knowing .. that our love for that person is undeniable ... But we still let him / her go .. And as he/she take that step to leave u .. She waves goodbye .. and u just smiled .. and waved back .. Ur heart starts crying ... ~ Then u start asking urself ... how did i fall in love with u ? Why did i fall for such a person ... isn't it ? Love hurts ... many would say .. but it does not necessary hurt ... ~~ So when will each of our individual life time partner come by ? 1 year .. 5 years ... perhaps 15 years ... u never know ... ~ I have to go .. my day is pretty all right .. NCc and More NCc ... Pei Wen was chatting with me for tonight .. she ended my day just right .. and of course .. i'm crapping all this while with Connie ... lot's of crap man ... ~ Thank God For these humans to make me laugh yeah ? haha ... although my life sucks totally now ... i'm glad to have such friends .. and my family to be here with me too ..

posted by Ben @ 4/03/2004 09:20:00 PM 0 Comments