Sharp Objects are Larger Then They Appear

A clean bandage is a fashion accessory.

Paper cuts have nothing on me.

Right now I'm typing with bandaged fingers and trying to hit the right keys.

I'm the only person I know who has cut her finger with a butter knife... cutting butter.

I'm the only person I know who has cut her finger with tongs... tongs!

Sheer necessity has made me use this product. But I couldn't help giggling the first time I saw a package.

Sharp Knives

My father is a sharp knife addict. Whenever he was bored he would pull out his knives and give them a few swipes with his sharpening stone. Even today, he always travels with his sharpening stone. We never appreciated his pleasure in having a well honed knife. Whenever our dates brought us home late, he would come to the door, slowly swishing his knives back and forth. We did understand the pleasure he took in scaring the living daylights out of our dates. Twisted family that we are.

As my dad says, "when your gonna' skin a moose, you gotta' have a sharp knife."