Dear John

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Bush's Last Press Conference

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Dear Mr. Bush,

Just think, less than one week and you get to leave D.C., hang up your Mission Accomplished banner in Houston, and clear brush and drink O'Doul's to your heart's content. I saw your last press conference this week and you seemed a bit--how should I put this?--testy. I understand you feel that we don't appreciate your accomplishments: achieving an approval rating lower than Nixon's, sexually harassing the German President, commiting war crimes with no legal repercussions.

I know we as a country have asked a lot of you, often things that you could not do. That you not start unnecessary wars, that when an American city winds up underwater you have a plan for helping, that you follow the law and respect international conventions. You know, all that unreasonable stuff we asked. But I have one final request.

You have six days left. Resist the urge. DO NOT press the button.

Thank you,

Wally.

P.S. If it makes you feel better you have my permission to invade Canada. But only if you let us make Canada our 50th state. Oh yes, the 50th. We're giving Texas back to Mexico. (Not before liberating my pals. Sam, we might have to get hitched so you will be a citizen of the United States of Americanada.)

P.P.S. It's not you, it's me. Oh, no, it's you.

The World's Most Powerful Pajama Party

Twelve days before inauguration, the media gave to me....five olden men!


Oh does this picture call out for thought bubbles and LOLs

I'm certain that Forty One and Carter are thinking "And that doof in the middle got two terms?" Clinton is thinking "And I'm the one who got impeached?"

And I sincerely hope that 41 is not asking Obama to freshen his drink (If you have not seen this story I highly recommend reading it. Our President-elect has some serious anger/jerk management handling skills that will serve him well in office) and is instead asking Obama if he could possibly have 43's last name officially changed to "Dubya" so that in the future maybe no one will know they were related.

TWELVE DAYS!

Only 35 Days Left!

In these waning days of the Reign of Error I admit I have found myself a bit nostalgic, concerned that I'm going to miss the old guy. Sure, he wasn't perfect and his handling of the media could use a little work but still, he gave us some good years.

And by him I mean Barney, the White House Dog. Here's his latest Holiday Video. (Watch Dubya in the credits and tell me that man has not fallen off the wagon!)

And as a special message to Barney and Miss Beasley: It's ok guys, we know it is not your fault. FREE BARNEY!

They don't like you, they really don't like you

From Washington Monthly:

* Bush's approval rating is down to a stunning 25%. When Nixon resigned in disgrace, his approval rating was 24%.

Convention Comedy!

I admit last night I got a little teary eyed seeing Ted Kennedy and then Michele Obama rocked the house and then the Obama girls came out and OWNED that convention. (Seriously, girls, you need a corgador!). But I have to say that this billboard--spotted in St. Paul, home of the GOP Garbage Dump:


Makes me a little excited for their convention or, at least, the Daily Show coverage of it. In particular I can't wait for the return of my third favorite Canadian minx, SAM BEE.

(My favorite Minx? Sophie. Second favorite? Lola. Four favorite? Jason Jones.)

Partay!!!!!!!!!

I'm talking, of course, about the party we will be having on The whole world is invited! And you should bring one of these (thanks for the tip, Gus). We will have dozens of Bush pinatas and we will fill them with bully sticks, meatables, and Wallymelon chunks!

President Obama, you're invited but I understand if you're a little busy. I promise, though, we'll have a lot more fun than that stuffy Inaugural Ball they throw!

LOL!

I know I already exceeded my Bush Joke quotient for today but he's really being a jackass at the Olympics so I wanted to share with you a bit of genius--LOLBush from The Guardian!


Yes, John McCain, what we need right now is NOT someone who is popular and can improve America's image in the world. How else will the rest of the world continue to laugh (and shake their fists) at us?

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Call off the election! According to our President, America has no problems.

From Shakesville, can you find the war criminals in this photo?

The Wit and Wisdom of 43

"And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president."—discussing flooding in the Midwest, Washington, D.C., June 17, 2008

"There is some who say that perhaps freedom is not universal. Maybe it's only Western people that can self-govern. Maybe it's only, you know, white-guy Methodists who are capable of self-government. I reject that notion."—London, June 16, 2008

Sometimes worderation matters.