Only 35 Days Left!

In these waning days of the Reign of Error I admit I have found myself a bit nostalgic, concerned that I'm going to miss the old guy. Sure, he wasn't perfect and his handling of the media could use a little work but still, he gave us some good years.

And by him I mean Barney, the White House Dog. Here's his latest Holiday Video. (Watch Dubya in the credits and tell me that man has not fallen off the wagon!)

And as a special message to Barney and Miss Beasley: It's ok guys, we know it is not your fault. FREE BARNEY!

New Dog at Secret Undisclosed Location

Joe Biden got a new dog. He got himsel an Oscar. But not from our DE SPCA where my ma ape could have helped him pick out a winner! Bummer.

No word on if the pup cost more or less than a Senate seat in Illinois.

I would have traded Oscar for his Senate seat.

The New Cabinet!

Thanks to Gus who sent me this New Yorker cover of Obama vetting his new Cabinet!

Transition Team: Poet Laureate

I think that Obama is on the cusp of naming our next poet laureate. Slate has an article with some of her finest pomes. Here are the lyrical stylings of Poet Palin, the Gifted Governor from Alaska.

"Small Mayors"

You know,
Small mayors,
Mayors of small towns—
Quote, unquote—
They're on the front lines.

(To S. Hannity, Fox News, Sept. 19, 2008)

Lame Duck for Thanksgiving!

From Think Progress via my GraNE! Our very committed current President is hard at work.

Pardon THIS, Palin!

This joke has already been made but this does bring to mind the woodchipper in Fargo:



Captioning this clip must have used up every pun in the MSNBC pun-maker.

Lame Duck

I believe Nelson Muntz on The Simpsons said it best: Ha-Ha.

Beware of Marauding Zombie Republicans!

Zombie Republicans hungry for BRAAAAAINS are lurching about attempting to consume one another. The Republicans have decided to eat each other alive. See Huckabee's attack on his fellow Repugs. Hagel hates you all. Newt Gingrich has returned to the scene of the crime. Go ahead, feast on each others' rotting flesh/rotten ideas! But if you're attempting to live on brains in the GOP, you might die of starvation rather quickly.

The Big Dog is Back!

Senator Ted Kennedy is back in Congress and back to work! He brought his two closest advisers, his dogs Sunny and Splash.

Give 'em hell, Teddy!

More on Parting the Red Sea

Colbert on Nebraska!

Save Joe!

Oh noes! The Bidens are having their "getting to know you" lunch with the Cheneys. Don't worry, Joe, we all know where you are and if you do not emerge by late this afternoon we will send help! Be sure to cover your face and DUCK.

Kiss Me, We're Irish!

This is a song my J Ape sent me:

No One's as Irish as Barack O'Bama:



Bwah! Check out this sign in Moneygall, where O'Bama's great-great-great-grampy came from:

From le BBC.

My Stories!

This week was a great week all around. And The Colbert Report was FAN-TAS-TIC. I tried to fit in an alliterative adjective but it was censored by my editor. So I give you two great interviews.

Thursday night Rachel Maddow was on! It's like two of my favoritest people EVER in ONE PLACE! (And if Malia and Sasha can't adopt me Rachel is my backup plan):




And here is Stephen with Andrew Young, a civil rights pioneer. Watch as Stephen makes him crack up and then watch as he makes Stephen crack up!

Mutt Like Me!

In a press conference today Obama addressed a number of very important policy questions, in particular the puppy situation in his home and he said this:

"On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog. But obviously a lot of shelter dogs are mutts, like me."

I think that the obvious solution is that a President who is one of a kind should have a dog who is one of a kind:

CORGADOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

Feelin' a Bit More Blue

You know how excited I was by Blue Florida? And Blue North Carolina--that state that repeatedly elected Jesse Helms? And Blue Virginia. Ok, well this trumps 'em all. After recounting the votes, adding in provisional and absentee ballots, Obama took one of Nebraska's electoral college votes--the first time in 40 years a Dem has won in NE! (For those of you fortunate enough to not live with a political science dork, Nebraska is one of two states to divide up its electoral college vote by Congressional District.) So my GranNE no longer lives in a Red State! She was part of parting the Red Sea!

Road to the Dog House

Jon Stewart doesn't even know I have already won the race:

Best Headline

From the Onion: "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job."

As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

See also: "Nation Finally Shitty Enough to Make Social Progress."

Barney Goes Rogue!

This just in! Barney the White House Scottie has bitten a Reuters reporter (this was Breaking News on MSNBC--no joke!) and the reporter had to go to the hospital?

Is Barney PO'd that his legacy will always be tied to the Bush Epic Fail? Or his he mad about this story about how the Obama girls' hypothetical dog is more interesting to the public than he is? Or maybe he just doesn't want to go back to Texas with those yahoos? Free Barney!

ETA: Video of the incident!

The Transition

The Times has a story today about the most important issue of staffing in the transitional period for the Obamas. Picking their daughters' dog! DailyKos has been doing polls, the AKC is trying to convince them to go purebred, the Humane Society is pushing adoption. Right now CBS is doing a story on puppies to help the Obamas make a choice.

Guys, guys. Done and done. I'm RIGHT HERE!

(P.S. Thanks to Alice who sent me this story and who regularly comments IRL on my irresistible cuteness and yesterday referred to me as the essence of nobility. I will be using her as a reference for my White House gig.)

An Historic Day

Hello. I am very tired. Yesterday my ma ape drove folks to the polls and then she was going to take coffee and donuts to the people waiting in line and she decided to give them the greaterest gift of all--ME! I helped hand out donuts AND I helped to eat them. That is socialism I can believe in!

While I have been resting I have been reading the intertubes and I would like to give big kissy smoochies (see above) to Massachusetts for banning greyhound racing. Ha-rooooo! And California passed Prop 2 which restricts some of the worst factory farming techniques.

But I must also blow raspberries (also see above) at California for passing Prop 8 (aka Prop 8) which amends CA's constitution to ban gay marriage. Way to HARSH OUR VIBE, DUDES!

To recap, here are my favorite things from yesterday:

• my new moms Malia and Sasha got their dad (my gramps!) to promise them a puppy when they move to the White House
• DONUTS
• BLUE FLORIDA! (Shout out to the Barkalot Boyz!)
  
• Free Greyhounds
• Staying up late with Stephen Colbert
• No more Joe the Plumber
• Blue Colorado!
  

Our Fourty-Fourth President!

Here's Obama's speech in Grant Park last night.



And don't think I missed the shout out to ME when he said that Sasha and Malia have EARNED the puppy that will be coming with them to the White House.

YES WE DID!

ETA: C'mon. Don't tell me this image doesn't make you tear up a bit. Standing on the shoulders of giants.

I VOTED!

Did you?

Sad News

Madelyn Dunham, grandma to Barack Obama, has died less than 72 hours away from watching her grandson become President. Thank you for raising a great kid, Grandma Dunham!

More Fellow Barkers!

These labbies are Barking for Barack!


Thanks for the h/t, Ms. Laura!

Lola is Barking for Barack!

As Lola contemplates which of her neighbors' lawns to relieve herself on, this house gets a reprieve for their excellent lawn decorations.

P.S. Happy Burpday Lola!

A Vision of the Future!

Two days to go! And I have been watching so much news and reading the internets so much that I fell asleep and had a dream...

America's Finest Media.

Last week the video of Joe Biden being interviewed by a woman with probing questions drawn straight from GOP talking points made the rounds. I don't want anyone to think, however, that all Florida reporters are shills. Here's some quality reporting:



P.S. Can we replace Chris Matthews with this kid?

McPain Gets Coveted Endorsement

The tides are turning for McPain! He got the endorsement of none other than the Prince of Darkness himself. Obama clearly knows this is the beginning of the end for him. He practically conceded:

I'd like to congratulate Senator McCain on this endorsement because he really earned it. That endorsement didn't come easy. Senator McCain had to vote 90 percent of the time with George Bush and Dick Cheney to get it. He served as Washington's biggest cheerleader for going to war in Iraq, and supports economic policies that are no different from the last eight years. So Senator McCain worked hard to get Dick Cheney's support.

But here's my question for you, Colorado: do you think Dick Cheney is delighted to support John McCain because he thinks John McCain's going to bring change? Do you think John McCain and Dick Cheney have been talking about how to shake things up, and get rid of the lobbyists and the old boys club in Washington?

(H/T TPM)

From the Suffragettes!

As I always say--ladies rule!

Where's Ma Ape?

Ma ma ape did this today. Can you find her?


Up front is Joe the Biden. Not Joe the Plumber. Standing outside for three hours might have been worth it for Joe the Stainer.

An Ad for Halloween

A spooky Halloween story




Get out of the car! There's a Bush in the backseat!!!! Aaaayiiiiiiiiiiii!

Lessons in Ideology

Obama helpfully explains Communist ideology as defined by McCain:



If Communism involves sharing PB&J, sign me up! I'm in the party, Comrade!

Some more awesome

This story is about a 109-year old woman, the daughter of a slave, who is casting her vote for Obama.

Amanda Jones, 109, the daughter of a man born into slavery, has lived a life long enough to touch three centuries. And after voting consistently as a Democrat for 70 years, she has voted early for the country's first black presidential nominee. Amanda Jones says she cast her first presidential vote for Franklin Roosevelt, but she doesn't recall which of his four terms that was. When she did vote, she paid a poll tax, her daughters said. That she is able, for the first time, to vote for a black presidential nominee for free fills her with joy, Jones said.

Steven. Guilty as Hell!

Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) has been found guilty of ethics violations. No more Hulk ties in the Senate, I guess.

Stevens said he was not guilty and he either paid for the stuff he got from contractors or thought they had been paid for.

As my granNE said, this Alaska place sounds pretty magical with $150,000 worth of clothes showing up in your closet, hundreds of thousands of dollars of renovations on your home appearing. This sounds like a great place!

Awesome!

Thank you Gus and E.Rabbit.

Two for the ladies

I'm an avowed feminist. I like ladies so much I can't even have just one girlfriend. And I can't confine myself to just one ma ape. I've had my eyes on Malia and Sasha Obama as my new ma apes or, Plan B, Rachel Maddow! So I feel like it is my feminist duty to share a couple of important things:

That's my Senator Joe! This is a video about the Violence Against Women Act (Joe's greatest legislative achievement) and how important it has been:




And here is a great piece in the New Yorker about the Lily Ledbetter Act and Equal Pay for Equal Work. It is supported by my future grandpa, opposed by McCain because it would cause more lawsuits. Yeah, people using the courts to punish discrimination and protect their rights. Why, that's just UnAmerican!

When Life Intervenes

Obama is leaving the campaign trail to be with his grandma. As someone who is also very attached to his GranNE and Grammie, you and your granny are in our thoughts.

Please Let the Election Be Over Soon

I joke a lot about democracy being overrated and taking away the franchise away from the humans but I think you have officially crossed a line here. This is no joke.

CULLOWHEE, N.C. – Police at Western Carolina University and wildlife officials were investigating the discovery early Monday of a dead bear cub draped with a pair of Barack Obama campaign signs.

Leila Tvedt, associate vice chancellor for public relations, said Monday night that maintenance workers found the 75-pound bear cub shot to death in front of the school's administration building at the entrance to campus. The Obama yard signs were stapled together and placed over the bear's head, Tvedt said.

The bear had been shot in the head, Tvedt said.

What the hell???? I don't know what else to say!

LOL (Send help, please!)

I'm with Gus. LOLs are supposed to be funny, not nauseatingly accurate reflections of reality:

A Sign of Leadership!

This year's "world" series will be a swing state palooza between the Philadelphia Phillies (Go Fightin' Phils!) and the Tampa Bay Rays. And, oh yes, Obama has made his choice.

PHILLIES FOREVER!

John McCain, Ladies Man

Why did McCain pick Palin? To woo female voters? To pull people from Clinton's camp? To capture moderates?

Nope.

To spite feminists.



I guess putting women's "health" in air quotes was no flub. He really doesn't give a sh*t.

The "Pro-American" Parts of Our Country

Governor Gosh Golly Gee has gotten some press of late for her comments in North Carolina (to a crowd comprised of wealthy GOP donors, mind you) that she loves to visit the parts of the country that are pro-American. Here's what she said:

"We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

Then Nancy Pfotenhauer, McCain spokesperson, referred to Northern Virginia as "not real Virginia." And then Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN--she once proposed--and I kid you not--a Lightbulb Freedom of Choice Act) went on Hardball and explained how she thinks Congress needs to root out its anti-American members. Sooooo...apparently disagreeing with the GOP constitutes anti-Americanism.

Senator Biden had a few things to say:

Whoa.

Here's Obama speaking to a crowd of over 100,000 in St. Louis (shout out to Gussie!)

This morning former Secretary of State (under the Bush Reign of Error) Colin Powell endorsed Obama. Here's some discussion of Fox News getting the BIG SCOOP on this by, uh, speculating after Powell 1) spoke at African Rising and 2) danced to some hip hop. Ahem. Stay classy, Fox!



McCain responded to this dis by his former friend by noting that several former secretaries of state including Henry Kissinger have endorsed him. So I guess that means he has the war criminal vote sewn up!

ETA: Powell's comments after his appearance on Meet the Press are really interesting, especially his warnings about the long-term impacts of the "Obama/Democrats/Anyone I don't like is/are anti-American" language adopted by the GOP with a vengeance of late:

Northward Ho!

Get ready, Sophie! I'm on my way!

Making Some More History

For the first time in its 160+-year history, the Chicago Tribune has endorsed a Democrat. (Psssst. It's Obama.)

Way to go! It's a pretty nice endorsement. Here some good bits:

Obama is deeply grounded in the best aspirations of this country, and we need to return to those aspirations. He has had the character and the will to achieve great things despite the obstacles that he faced as an unprivileged black man in the U.S. He has risen with his honor, grace and civility intact. He has the intelligence to understand the grave economic and national security risks that face us, to listen to good advice and make careful decisions.
When Obama said at the 2004 Democratic Convention that we weren't a nation of red states and blue states, he spoke of union the way Abraham Lincoln did. It may have seemed audacious for Obama to start his campaign in Springfield, invoking Lincoln. We think, given the opportunity to hold this nation's most powerful office, he will prove it wasn't so audacious after all. We are proud to add Barack Obama's name to Lincoln's in the list of people the Tribune has endorsed for president of the United States.

Godwin's Law!

My ma ape is currently teaching a course on political ideologies and found this image too deliciously funny to not post and proliferate. Where was this lovely piece of political wit and wisdom posted? Why, at the John McCain offices in Pompano, FL! Down with youth movements! Don't trust anyone under 65!

Gus, please tell your dad he needs to seriously revise his textbooks on Ideologies to reflect this Brave New World!

Joe Spellcheck

From LGM:



This is a screencap from the most recent McCain ad entitled "Joe Plumber." Apparently all the proofreaders are for Obama.

And here we thought when Bush was out of office the English language would be safe.

A Visual Summary of the Debate

H/T Shakesville.

That bogus "health" stuff!

Ah John McCain, so skillful chasing after Clinton supporters by insulting the idea that the health of the mother must be protected.



Thanks for sharing your feelings about incubators women.

Pandering to Joe

So last night's debate was unpleasant, eh?

But there was an interesting development, the endless appeals to the mysterious "Joe." But I know who they're talking about and the one vote everyone wants.

I'm sure he'll have to inspect their respective stains first, but I know that Joe's endorsement will seal the deal on this election.

Though I'm a bit confused. Are we talking about Joe Six-Pack or Joe Plumber? Or does Joe take his Six-Pack with him while Plumbing?

Yup.

The internets speaks the truth.

Pal-in' around some more!

Gus always brings the funny.




Yes, terriers is spelled wrong. That's just how shady this Obama fellow is. He thinks he can hide the truth by spelling it wrong. (Gus, do you think he will be a pal with you, the terrierist? Can you hook me up with the Obama girls???? I am the dog they never knew they wanted. I just know it!)

And here is a video of Rethug David Frum whining to Rachel Maddow about how her funny, witty, sarcastic humor is NOT FAIR. Call the waaaaaaaahhhhmbulance, the white dudes are being oppressed!

Paul! Paul! Paul!

Mad props to Paul Krugman, the finest columnist the New York Times has to offer and economis extraordinaire for winning the Nobel Prize in Economics. Way to go Paul! And read his great column today talking about the wisdom of the British approach to the economic crisis.

Sadly, it appears we may have to investigate this cat-cuddling thing. Maybe grounds for revoking the award.

Pal-in' around with Dogs

My bud in PA, Khyra, sent me this article about how if Sarah Palin wants to talk about Obama "palin' around with terrorists," perhaps we should talk about how she's palin' around with traitors, including her husband who was a member in the Alaska Independence Party. They advocate secession.

Charming. Khyra and I are good pals because we support the same teams, Obama and the Phillies, cruising to victory! So here's to WOO, Khyra!

My granny also sent me this post about how the McCain campaign is attacking MICHELLE Obama and, I have to say guys, if you go after Ike's love I have to warn you--it is ON. I wouldn't mess with Ike.

And also, don't mess with my future ma ape. You know, when her daughters adopt me and make me the future First Dog.

ETA: I stand corrected. According to this video, Obama HAS been consorting with some shady characters:

The End of the Reign of Error is Nigh!

So Good It Made Me Roach

Gus recommended this week's New Yorker, especially this piece on why they are Barking for Barack. I concur! I mean, check out their fantastic use of adjectives!

At a moment of economic calamity, international perplexity, political failure, and battered morale, America needs both uplift and realism, both change and steadiness. It needs a leader temperamentally, intellectually, and emotionally attuned to the complexities of our troubled globe. That leader’s name is Barack Obama.

And then there were three...

The Supreme Court of the state o' Connecticut just ordered the state to start recognizing same-sex marriages. They already had civil unions.

Since we've been told this! will! destroy! the! fabric! of America! and is the worst! threat! facing! America! today! I'm still waiting for the four horsemen. When exactly is civilization going to crumble? I want to loot and pillage!!!

ZING!

Here's what ol' Delaware Joe is good for (other than foreign policy experience and legislative mojo):

Speaking in Missouri Thursday, the VP candidate responds to Gov. Palin’s dig that he’s been in the Senate since she was in second grade:

“That’s true, but she was in sixth grade the last time John had a new idea.”

Dolts on Film

This video of attendees of a McCain/Palin rally in Ohio comes from Bloggerinterrupted.



Naked apes. Please don't ever try to claim the intellectual superiority of your species again.

Thanks.

ETA: In the interest of geographic fairness, here are some folks in the little town of Bethlehem, PA being, um, creepy:

Hey, Dr. Freud!

Dear Mr. McCain,

Your slip is showing.




He just referred to us as his fellow prisoners.

via TPM.

That's Sleazy, My Friends!

In the shadow of failed foreign policy, a commitment to the disastrous policy of deregulation, and in the face of falling poll numbers, John McCain has done the honorable thing--let's go all negative all the time! Reliving the 1960s! Racism! Xenophobia! We've got it all!

They don't like you, they really don't like you

From Washington Monthly:

* Bush's approval rating is down to a stunning 25%. When Nixon resigned in disgrace, his approval rating was 24%.

Get off my GraNE's Lawn!

Yesterday Sarah Palin was in Nebraska which is funny because it is usually a totally red state but her visit, many speculated, was prompted by fears that the Second District could be up for grabs and the Husker state divvies up its electoral votes. The stories of concern were in part due to the fact that the Obama campaign just opened up a second field office in Omaha which means they think they have a shot. But here's what Governor Golly had to say:

“The pundits today on TV—one of them was saying, check out the vice president’s schedule, check out where she’s going — she’s going to Nebraska,” Palin said. “But the pundit was saying the only reason she’d be going there is ‘cause they’re scared, so they gotta go there and shore up votes. And I so wanted to reach into that TV and say no, I’m going to Nebraska because I want to go to Nebraska.

But here's the thing. OK, two things. First, you are not vice president! Second, I know me some Nebraska and I know there's only two reasons to go there.

1. Cornhusker football.
2. GRAN-NE!

#1 is out because the Huskers played Saturday night and let's not talk about that. And #2 is out because I'm fairly certain my GranNE would rather clean the Cornhusker locker room with a toothbrush than see Governor Gosh Golly Gee.

Norm's Gotta Go

This ad is really touching and I hope the Dems do more of this:




Go Al Franken!
P.S. I *heart* Minnesota. It gave us Paul Wellstone, Amy Klobuchar, Suki Sumo and one of the most brilliant political minds of our time...Ikenstein! (And also with MN ties is Gus!)

Can I call ya Joe?

Thank you Gus for making my ma ape fall off the couch laughing with this wonderful clip from SNL:



And thank you, Tina Fey, for perfectly capturing the most absurd persona in American politics ever.

One Step Closer to the White House!

I have exciting news on my mission to be adopted by the Obama daughters. I just got an e-mail from Best Friends that this week on Entertainment Tonight Michelle Obama announced they will adopt a rescue dog for their daughters.

Look at HOW MUCH I want to live with those fabulous ladies!

And while my ma ape says that I am more accurately called a rescued dog rather than a rescue dog, I think we all know what she meant. She wants a Wally!


The Gallup Polls show good stuff for Obama:

As you can see, my favorability ratings are nothing but good so come and get me, Malia and Sasha!