Today, while out having lunch with Jay, my mother and my mother in law (who loves Jay) I asked Jay if she'd let me go to the doctors with her. I told her that I can't believe how sick she is and I know it's because of the drugs she's on. I also told her that she can't believe the doctors because it is the doctors who nearly killed my mother. The drugs that they had my mother on were horrible. Jay is on some horrible medication and I have to help her to understand how bad they are.
The blessing in all of this is that my Mother in Law is keen with the computer and doing research. She loves to solve a puzzle. All week, since Easter Sunday when she asked Jay what she was taking for meds, she has been researching the drugs. All week, while I've been putting drops in my ML's eyes (she had cataract surgery) she has been telling me about what she's learning about the drugs that Jay is taking.
Thank God my ML is backing me 100% on my push for me to be involved in Jay's healthcare. My mom too... but she's been a big fan of mine for a while anyway.
Jay didn't say much, but she definitely listened to me when I explained to her how the doctors are deceived by the pharmaceutical sales people. They get "prizes" for pushing the newest drug. The drug will then cause a side effect, which will cause them to give you another drug. Eventually, you get so sick you feel like you are going to die. But, you don't have to feel that way. Look at my mother. Remember how sick she was? Look at how healthy she is now. Can you remember when she looked so good?
Jay didn't say anything, she just looked at my mother and at me. I think I'm getting through. I told her that I want her to be healthy up until the day she decides to take her last breath.
From our sort of heavy lunch, we went out to buy Jay a pair of shoes. First we went to the Mall. We parked as close to the shoe store inside, The Walking Company, as we could. None of us realized how slowly Jay walks. I was shocked. She is so frail looking. I wanted to pick her up and carry her. I came close but I know that would have pissed her off and I don't want to piss off Jay.
We went to the expensive store and then to a discount shoe store. We found a nice pair of shoes in the discount store that were comfortable. Jay was happy. She kept talking about putting Mazola oil on a sock and stuffing it in the shoe to stretch it. I questioned the practice. She heard it from some lady who she goes to church with. The lady told her that her grandmother used to put mazola oil on a sock and stuff it in her shoes to soften the shoe.
I said to Jay... "you know, that would probably work with leather but I'm not so sure about vinyl." No sense trying to explain myself, she already had her mind made up that she was going to put Mazola oil in her new shoes.
Oh ya... while we were out my ML said, "You know we should check KMart." I was like, "Kmart? Are you serious? My father was a shoe die maker, he taught me that you need to wear good shoes on your feet. You don't find those in Kmart."
We went to 3 stores and found 1 pair of shoes that were adequate. Nothing was great.
We got home after hours of driving around with 3 women in their 80's. I mentally set myself up for it so it wasn't as bad as it sounds.
Rachel came into the kitchen while I was preparing dinner and she said, 'I have a pair of shoes, in Jay's size that I got from Kmart. I know you hate kmart shoes so I wanted to ask you before I showed Jay the shoes. " I said, "Show her. I must apologize for being so snotty about KMart shoes, they are perfect for what Jay needs. Bring the shoes to her, I bet she will be wicked excited."
So... off Rachel went with the shoes in her closet to offer to Jay. Wouldn't you know, the shoes fit her perfectly and were very comfortable. My husband came home when all 3 women were oooing and ahhhhing over the perfection of the closet shoes. He greeted them... they all said, "hello" and went back to the shoe conversation. It was pretty funny to hear my husband give his rendition. No warm welcome home for him... there was a shoe discussion going on. He definitely didn't understand our shoe quest. It was like a marathon.
I whipped up a great dinner for all 3 of them and had them eat at my kitchen table. My mother wanted to be in her room in front of the tv, she had enough of Jay. Rachel was gracious and had dinner. She likes Jay so I think she really wanted to have dinner with her.
I drove Jay home and we talked about a lot of things. It was a nice drive back to Chelsea. Jay is very alert. Her body is weak from the drugs her doctors are feeding her.
When I drove Jay home tonight I reiterated that I want her to come live with me when she feels that she can't do it for herself anymore. I told her that I'd even go to church with her. Heck, I could sit in the back of the church and meditate. I'd be guaranteed alone time. Wooo Hooo!
Jay was so happy. She got 2 new pairs of shoes. We had an excellent shoe sales person at L.L. Bean try to fit Jay's twisted feet. You know, those damn shoes from the 30's and 40's destroyed her petite little feet. The sales person told me where to go to get Jay the shoes that she needs. We'll go next week.
Anyway... I'm grateful that my dad taught me about shoe die making. He taught me how to identify a good pair of shoes. Today, I have really nice feet. Thanks Dad! Sensible shoes rock.
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