Life is Screaming By

I just cannot keep up on blogging lately to save my life. Time is just going by so quickly. It's like the Texas summer heat is melting time away. It seems like more often than not lately I am doing bulleted posts. In all honesty, I feel like I am blogging just to journal recent events more than anything. So here goes the latest gossip in my world.

Dogs

• Maggie's puppies are doing great. They are fat little pups and growing like weeds. I swear they are growing so fast you can almost see it. Tonight I noticed that Bolt is starting to open his eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if they are open by tomorrow night. That is a very exciting first step to becoming a super adorable puppy and being less slug-like, as my husband likes to say. One of my all-time favorite things is puppy breath. I learned the other day that if I hold the pups up to my nose, they will lick my nose and I get to smell that sweet puppy breath. BB took a picture of Molly licking my nose tonight.
  
• I don't think Maggie digs this whole mama gig. If she doesn't have to be with her puppies, she's not. She's in the box long enough to feed them, obviously, and then she's outta there. She will go hours between checking in on them. Up until today, she has seemed really depressed about the whole thing. Tonight I saw the light back in her eyes since the pups were born. I'm not sure at this point if I will breed her again or not. If she doesn't enjoy being a mom at all, breeding her again wouldn't be right. Maybe she will enjoy the pups more once they aren't just little leaches.
  
• Sadie is doing really well. She isn't quite 100% yet, but she's getting there. Its a real bitch knowing her hurt. I often wonder why my dog was plagued by this heartache too. It is so unheard of in the BC world to lose an entire litter, so why did it happen to MY dog? The bitter part of me can answer that question.
  
• I have learned that breeding is a very messy business. Did you know that dogs bleed for weeks after they deliver their babies? I wish I had known that before I had to wash my couch cushion covers and bedspread. Its no big deal though. I have a whole arsenal of cleaning supplies and I know how to get stuff out. I have also learned a lot about what you should have on hand when whelping. I've started a Breeding Box for next time so that I have everything I could possibly need on hand.
  

Baby Bean

• Baby Bean is doing great too. She loves the puppies. We have took a couple pictures of us with the puppies tonight. I will have to post them up later.
  
• BB is doing really well in school. Her teacher says she is potty training like a pro. She has also adjusted to the new school and sometimes asks if she can go on the weekends. She is such a bright little girl. The things that come out of her mouth astound me because they seem too profound for a 2.5-year-old. She cracks me up. On Sunday we had to take Mags to the vet because she had the runs really bad. While we were checking out, Maggie pooped (read Her.shey squirted) all over the floor. BB told the guy in line behind us that Maggie pooped on the floor because she didn't feel good. Oh man, sometimes it takes all I have to keep from laughing.
  
• BB also loves to take pictures with the camera. Her dad and I gave her an old digital camera so she could take all the pictures she wants. She actually does a pretty good job. What can I say? My kid's got talent!
  
• BB can totally hold her end of a conversation. She talks so well for her age and she strings sentences together with no problem. Additionally, she is a very polite little girl. She knows how and when to use please, thank you, and no thank you. She is such a sweet little thing.
  

Chelle Belle

• Well, I'm on chlomid. I went in for a follie check on Tuesday and Dr. D said it is working. I had one follie at a 14 and a bunch of others developing. I am going in for another check in the morning, so we'll see how things are going to pan out this month. He put me on 50mg and I wonder if that is going to be enough, considering I was on 100mg back in 2006-07. But again, I guess we will see tomorrow. This whole business with the dogs has pretty taken my mind off stressing about TTC. I feel like I'm just going through the motions without the emotions this month and I am perfectly okay with that.
  
• Working out is going great too. J and I are on our 7th week, and I am definitely seeing a difference. My legs are hard as rocks. There isn't an ounce of fat on them anymore! I know I will probably never get rid of my pooch as long as I'm doing medicated cycles, so I don't feel bad if that area doesn't show as much improvement. I am seeing the fat reduction everywhere else though, and it feels so good. I want to lose another 9 lbs still. That would put me back at my pre-infertility weight, and that would feel AWESOME.
• These days I just feel like I've been run ragged. There isn't enough time in the day to do all the things I need to do, let alone the things I WANT to do. I'm exhausted a lot of the time, and lately I come home from work and fall asleep because I am just so tired. I wish so much that I had more energy and could do and be more. Some nights I push myself a little bit harder to really play with Baby Bean. Not just watch cartoons with her, but run around with her. Although snuggling and watching cartoons is one of our favorite things. My baby is a snuggler and so are her daddy and I.

I guess that's it for me. I can't think of anything else to say at the moment. Besides which, it's bedtime. Another day gone in the blink of an eye. I hope everyone out there is doing well. I think of you all often and pray for you just as much.

Bolt and Molly

Sorry to keep you all in suspense about Maggie's litter. It has been a hell of a weekend. I haven't slept in 6 days. I hadn't eaten for the 5 days before yesterday. I lost 4 lbs during this whole experience (which isn't a bad thing, considering I've been trying to lose weight.) My days all blur together, and I have a really difficult time concentrating or even remembering anything at this point.

But onto Mags!

Friday afternoon Maggie's milk came in and she starting showing signs of impending labor. I slept on the couch beside the whelping box that night, expecting pups at any point. All that happened was Maggie tried to lick my face off all night. She snuggled into me and wouldn't let me rest, which I didn't mind. I love my pups.

Saturday afternoon Maggie's water broke at around 1:00 in the afternoon. I called the breeder and she told me it would be 1-12 hours before I saw a pup. 11 hours later at midnight, Maggie started pushing out the first puppy. I was immediately beside her in the whelping box and on the phone with the breeder. After 20 minutes, I had the first puppy out. She was stillborn. Ten minutes later, we were in the car on the way to the emergency vet for a c-section.

You would think emergency vet would mean services were rendered quickly. Not so at this vet. I was there for an hour and a half being checked in, waiting in a room for them to take Mags for x-rays, waiting forever for them to bring her back, waiting forever for them to come talk to me. They finally came back and told me she had two more pups, both in the birthing position. They told me to take her home and let her try to have them on her own. If there were no puppies by 2:30 a.m., to bring her back and they would put her on oxitocin and calcium to see if she would deliver them. If after an hour she had not, they would do a c-section. I was so mad. I wanted those puppies out alive! I had already lost a whole litter. I didn't need to grieving dogs.

I took Maggie home, hunkered down on the couch and continued to watch Wives and Daughters for the third or fourth time that day. At around 2:00, I started to doze off. "I'll just close my eyes for a minute and remember to wake up and keep checking on Mags."

At 3:00 I was woken by the sound of a puppy crying. I don't know when he was actually born, but I missed the whole thing. He was already cleaned off, and all of the birth mess was cleaned up. I told Mags she had done good, pet the pup, and then went back to the couch to await the last pup. Again, I dozed off. At 4:00 I was woken by the sound of another puppy.

Thank God. Thank sweet merciful heaven! I had two live puppies.

I went back to sleeping on the couch for another couple of hours, just in case Mags needed anything or there was another puppy that hadn't shown up on the x-ray. I don't know what time I stumbled up to bed. I barely remember fumbling to get into my PJs.

The next day I was greeted by this:

I was so happy and so relieved. But at the same time, I ached. I had 6 dead puppies and a grieving dog. It was so difficult to sort through my feelings. To be honest, I still haven't. Some of that could be exhaustion though.

We decided to name the puppies Bolt and Molly. The male has a little lightning bolt down his head, and my daughter's favorite cartoon is Bolt. I named the female Molly because Wives and Daughters is one of my all-time favorite books, and I was watching the movie when she was born. Also, anyone who has been following the blog since before I brought Sadie home 3+ years ago might remember we almost named Sadie, Molly.

Bolt and Molly

As for the pups helping Sadie, Mags would let her near the puppies the first day, but then when Sadie tried to sniff or lick them, Mags would snap at her. At one point they got in a fight, and Sadie came away with a bloodied and fat lip. Sadie still mopes around, and she still won't let me sleep at night because she needs love, but that's okay. I'm here for her, and she knows that.

Maggie is doing really well. She has taken to her mama role like a pro. She never leaves the pups for more than a minute, and she runs right back if they even so much as squeak while she's away.

I have so much going on in my head that I still want to post about, but I don't have the time right now. The important thing is, we are going to breed Sadie again next year. We're going to try again. The hardcore infertile in me won't give up on getting my mama a living litter just yet.

I am just so glad I have at least two puppies.

A Horrible 48 Hours

For days I was unable to talk to anyone about what happened. I couldn't believe it, and I was in utter shock. Never in a million years did I think I would lose an entire litter of puppies. I stupidly and naively thought that the worst of my problems was going to be all of the puppies I would have running around for 8 weeks and finding homes for all of them. I kept telling everyone I didn't worry about Sadie delivering her puppies because she was a tank. I knew she would spit them all out with no problems.

Wednesday afternoon around 2:00 I came home to check on Sadie because I knew she was due any day. The smart girl had somehow gotten the locked gate on the welping pen open and gotten out. I ushered her back in, noted that she looked pretty ragged, and figured there would be puppies by the time I got home from work.

At 6:00 I was on my way home from a doctor appointment. I was a block away from the house when my husband called to ask how close I was. When I told him I was almost there he told me I could come take care of the mess then. I asked if there was a puppy. Yes, but it wasn't moving. I sped the rest of the way home, rushed into the house, jumped the welping pen wall, and was trying the few puppy CPR techniques I knew. It was no good, the beautiful little boy was gone.

I looked around the room at all of the blood everywhere. It was spattered 3.5 ft up the walls. It was spattered 360 degrees around the room. I immediately got on the phone with the vet and a Border Collie breeder. Surely there should not be so much blood. And was it a bad sign that the first pup was dead?

At 6:59, Sadie delivered another puppy with no effort. The little girl was half the size of her first born brother. She came out moving, and Sadie went right to work taking care of her.

Around 9:00 Sadie started to deliver the 3rd puppy. She was struggling. I called the breeder and she walked me through helping to deliver the puppy. By 9:20 the little girl was out. She wasn't moving. The breeder walked me through CPR. It was no good, the pup was stillborn. She was as big as the first puppy.

The hours passed and no other pups came. I knew Sadie wasn't done. I called the emergency vet and breeder just after midnight to ask if I needed to take Sadie to the vet. They both told me I could wait. That Sadie probably had uterine fatigue from delivering the two larger puppies.

At 4:30 a.m., I called the emergency vet again. No more puppies had been born. They told me I could wait and take her to the vet first thing in the morning.

At 8:30 Sadie was on oxitocin with her runt puppy beside her. They did some xrays and confirmed there were two more puppies. They gave her until noon to deliver them, but by 12:30 she was in the operating room having a c-section.

Around 1:00 the vets office called to tell me the puppies were stillborn.

I cried so hard I didn't know if I was ever going to be able to breathe again. I sobbed because I felt like I had let my dog down. I should have stayed home at 2:00. I should have done CPR longer on the third puppy. I should have taken her to the vet at midnight. I had failed her.

By around 3:00 I was able to pick up Sadie and her one remaining puppy from the vet. I asked the vet what happened, and he thinks the first puppy must have come out cross-wise. The trauma from that puppy detached the main placenta and denied oxygen to the remaining puppies. He didn't know how the runt had survived. It was then I named the little girl, Lucky.

I took them both home, put them in the welping box on the heating pad and took a much needed nap. I hadn't slept the night before.

When I woke up, I realized something was wrong. I couldn't hear Lucky. I rushed into the room, scooped Lucky up and knew she wasn't okay. She was barely whimpering and barely moving. I called the vet and they told me to come pick up a nursing bottle and milk to try to get her strength up. The whole way there I felt like the universe was hating me, thwarting me. It took me forever to get home. I hit every single red light. I got stuck behind people afraid to make left hand turns. When I finally did get home, Lucky was barely alive. I put the bottle in her mouth and she tried to suck, but didn't have the strength. By this time the vet was closed, so I rushed her to the emergency vet.

On the way to the vet, she stopped breathing. I tried administering CPR, but I knew I had lost. I got to the vet, ran inside, and through my tears asked them to help me. She had stopped breathing. In only a matter of minutes they came back and told me she was gone. She had blood in her lungs, which was either an indication of a congenital heart defect or pneumonia. I cried so hard I couldn't move. I had completely failed my dog. I could not bear what was ahead. At 24 hours old, Sadie's only living puppy was gone.

Sadie began looking for her puppy as soon as we got home. She searched the entire house, whimpering as she went. I opened the box with Lucky and set her in the welping pen with Sadie, then went to take a shower. When I came back, Sadie had taken her puppy to another room. Then came the heart wrenching task of forever removing the puppy from her mother.

Neither of us slept that night. Sadie slept next to me on the bed, still covered in blood from her labor. We cried together. Every now and then she would get up to go look for her puppy, but then she would return and whine. The only thing that eased her pain was to pet her. If I stopped petting her, or rested my hand on her, she would whimper until I resumed active petting.

After Lucky died, I couldn't talk to anyone anymore. I didn't want to talk about it. I needed to be left alone. I stopped returning text messages. I quit answering phone calls. I dreaded going to work because I knew everyone would ask about it. I just couldn't handle it. My very first litter had all died, and I had a mourning mom-dog.

The next morning Maggie's temperature had dropped, indicating impending labor. My vet had told me to bring Maggie in the morning her temperature dropped so he could make sure everything looked okay. Since I didn't have the heart to leave Sadie home alone in her grief, I took her with me. The second we pulled up to the vet, Sadie was sure we were going to pick up her puppy, as Lucky had been there with her the day before. She began to whine excitedly and expectantly. It broke my heart all over again. She searched every corner on the way in, looking for her puppy.

That day I put all of Sadie's puppies in a box and dug the deepest, most perfectly square hole I've ever dug, and buried her babies by myself. It was after that, that I was finally able to talk to people.

That night around 1:00 a.m. Sadie started to shake uncontrollably. I rushed her to the emergency vet again, not wanting to take any chances. There they fed her the first thing she had eaten in days (a palatable food meant for sick animals who will eat nothing else), and gave me additional pain medications for her c-section. They claimed her shaking was from pain. However, when I talked to the breeder today, she told me the shaking was from depression. Sadie feels like she has let everyone down. She is upset. She lost all of her babies, and she is grieving.

I've barely been away from her since all of it happened. She lays around and sleeps for the most part. Every now and then she gets up and takes a look around, just in case.

It has been so difficult and heart wrenching. I blame myself. I knew early on this year was not my year. I knew by January 7th when I was 2 weeks late for my period and not pregnant that this year was going to be a real bitch. So far, it has been. I feel like I should have known better than to breed my dogs. I should have known better than to think complications wouldn't happen to us. I should not have sucked my dogs into my bad luck.

You know what I have heard from two vets and the breeder? This kind of thing is really rare. Border Collies are such strong dogs. This sort of thing just doesn't happen to them. Of course it doesn't. Of course it's rare. I am the Queen of Rare. If there is a small chance something bad can happen, it will happen to me. That's just how it is. I know that, and I've accepted it.

Pity party aside, I am doing well with all of this. I took my two days to grieve, mourn, cry, ask the universe why, and be generally upset. But I am infertile, and one thing infertility has given me is resilience. Yes bad things happen, and they are hard, but we have to pick up the pieces and move on. I have to focus on Maggie, who right this minute is in active labor. I have to focus on helping Sadie through her grief.

Lucky - You are missed

She Cracks Me Up

Because I can't seem to log into the blog more than every other week, this is going to have to be another bulleted list post, as once again, there is much to talk about. So let's start with the important things, Baby Bean.

Baby Bean in Bullet Point

• Last week as Hubs and I were in the bathroom getting ready for work I heard what sounded like the lid on Baby Bean's diaper pail slamming shut. I waited for a second and then heard it again. I walked down the hall as Baby Bean emerged from her bedroom, diaper-free and stated, "I took off my diaper. It was wet. I put it in the garbage. I'm going to use my big girl potty now." And so she did! Hubs and I were laughing so hard. Baby Bean has never done anything like that before. Although she has done it a couple of times since.
• We are deep in the throes of potty training. I bought BB princess and Tin.ker Bel.l underwear and told her she couldn't pee in them because none of them liked to be peed on. We've been working on this the last couple of weeks. Usually I will put her in Big Girl Underwear and remind her constantly that if she needs to go potty, to go use her Big Girl Potty. Well, she always tells us she peed after it is too late. But this past weekend instead of going potty, she announced, "I pooped." In her brand new Tink.er Bel.l underwear. I told her it made Tink sad because she didn't like being pooped on. For the rest of the day BB kept telling people she pooped on Tink.er Bel.l. Oh my gosh that kid can make me laugh!
• We took BB to her very first movie in the theater on Saturday. She got to see the new W.innie the P.ooh movie, and she LOVED it. For the most part she sat quietly through the whole movie. I wish I had taken a picture of her walking hand-in-hand with her daddy into the theater as she carried her movie meal (in a box similar to a ha.ppy meal). That image was one of the most precious things I have ever seen.
• BB is growing up so fast and her vocabulary and language comprehension just blows my mind sometimes. She will say the most profound things. Like last week I went to the chiropractor and as we walked in and saw the doctor she said to him, "Mama is here to get adjusted." I have never used the term "adjusted" around her before. I was amazed. Also, a few weeks ago when we left the chiropractor's office there was a man standing outside dancing around in a hamburger suit for the deli next door. BB yelled to him, "Hi! Do you need a hug? Come here!" Again, I about died of laughter. We took her back to eat there that night and she got to give the hamburger a hug.

The Dogs

• Well, its official, both dogs are in the family way! I took Mags to the vet again tonight to check one more time for pups. The vet palpated her and declared he could feel pups. The vet tech and I looked at each other and squealed. Everyone who has come in contact with Mags instantly loves her because she is such a snugly, loveable pooch. The vet tech said she just might want one of Mags pups after meeting my dog. I know she won't take one, but it was cute of her to say that.
• I may have anywhere from 3-7 pups placed already. Two or three are for sure placed, and I am hoping the others will be placed once the puppies are born and everyone sees how cute they are. My plan is to post pictures at work in hopes that people there can't resist. Otherwise, I have a backup plan.
• Anybody want a puppy? :D
  

Me

• The exercise regime is going well. I've gotten in some serious time on the treadmill at work four days last week, and already both days this week. I do my resistance training at home with an exercise ball, and let me tell you, that works those hard to reach lower ab muscles. I love that ball. In addition to working out, I have been doing really well about packing healthy lunches to work. It saves me money and some major calories. Tonight I swore I could see that my face is already looking thinner.
• I realized yesterday that my cycles started to get weird after Hubs and I got married and I became a much less active person. Before we got married I was always out and about and hardly ever home except to sleep. I'm hoping that with hitting the gym at the office 4 days a week and doing resistance training at home it will help with TTC and make my cycles like they used to be. Although I have to say the last two months have been promising. I haven't had "normal" cycles like this for a year. They aren't my single days normal, but at least they aren't all FUBARed like the last 12 months.
• This month marks 1 year since we were able to start TTC again. After this cycle, we will officially have been trying for 12 months. More on that in a later post.
• It is really stinking hot here in Texas and it is driving me insane. We had 9 days over 100 in June (JUNE, people!), and so far have had 14 over 100 this month with the prediction of the rest of the month being in the 100s. We usually don't hit the 100s here until August. I have to say, the heat is hard on morale. I started wearing skirts to work because pants are too hot. Before this summer, I was not a skirt or dress girl. I now own four skirts so I can wear a different skirt each day of the week and have Friday for blue jeans. But honestly, I'm considering finding a casual skirt for Fridays because blue jeans and 100+ temps = HOT AS HELL! Oh yeah, and our AC units (in Texas you have to have one AC unit for each floor of your house) run 16+ hours a day and can't keep our house below 80 during the hottest part of the day. EIGHTY! I am begging for fall already. The weather this year has been brutal with our week-long freeze in back in February and hotter than average summer.

Well, that's it for me. I will definitely be posting again later this week cause I have some stuff I have got to get off my chest. Hope all is well with everyone in the blog world!

Overdue

I realize it has been two weeks since my last post. My how time has flown. There has been so much going on around our house that I didn't realize how much time had gotten away from me. So here are a few updates of our little household.

Dogs
What do you feed two pregnant dogs who refuse to eat?

Answer: Anything they will.

But in all seriousness, I contacted a couple of breeders to ask this same question, and of course have been all over the web researching. Everyone seems to recommend adding chicken and rice to their normal diet. I am now cooking chicken breasts and rice cooked in chicken broth in bulk.

I tried adding canned food. I tried changing their food. The canned food worked for a couple of days, but both dogs turned their noses up at any type of dry dog food. Adding the chicken and rice seems to make them remember they are hungry, and so they end up eating dry food as well.

As for whether or not they are both pregnant, only time will tell. I took them to the vet a week ago and he said they were both exhibiting outward pregnancy symptoms, but would not say they were pregnant because apparently dogs have false pregnancies where they will experience every pregnancy symptom in the book including lactating, swelling bellies, and labor, but then there will be no pups. So he said all he could do was tell me to come back in 3 weeks and he would do x-rays. I think I will pass on that though. I will just wait to see who has pups and how many, since I know their respective estimated due dates.


Baby Bean
Our little family headed up to see my parents for the 4th of July weekend. We took an extra day off work to make it an even longer weekend. While there we spent some time with all of my siblings, which is a feat considering none of us live in the same states right now, and watched an awesome firework show put on and sponsored by my own little brother.

Before heading home, a few of us went to see the newly renovated zoo.

Baby Bean loved the carousel, as always. She rode a seal.
I love this picture because she still looks so much like a baby.

All of the grandkids posed for a picture on this super friendly bronze lion.

All of the dinosaurs around the zoo were pretty awesome.
They were animated and growled.

Baby Bean checking out some monkeys.

Baby Bean and her cousin sharing a double stroller.

And last, but not least, Baby Bean and her new pool. God help me, for I will and do spoil this child. I cannot help myself. The smiles these things puts on her face is worth all the money in the world to me.

A side note: this pool has 13 different sections that needed to be blown up. Each palm tree had two. It took me over an hour to blow it up with an air compressor.


The Project
A few months ago I was watching a cartoon with Baby Bean that gave me the most fantastic idea to create a quilt that I would then sew charms onto for some of the big events in her life. When I got a bonus at work a couple months ago, I used it to start buying supplies such as silver letter beads to spell out her name; numbers for her birthday; charms of a mom, dad, a little girl, and two dogs to signify her family; and so on. The idea is also to buy charms from everywhere we go on vacation or any fun places we go. When we went to Cancun in May, I bought her a dolphin and seashell charms.

It took me a couple of weeks, and an experienced eye can tell it has been a while since I've touched a sewing machine, but tonight I finally finished the quilt!

Baby Bean showing off her new quilt. She LOVES it.

The Family Square.
Dad, Baby Bean, Mom, Maggie, and Sadie.
I left room to add to the square later, if our family is added to.

TTC
I'm still on break from this game. I'm still doing acupuncture. I'm not doing anymore fertility treatments. I haven't been charting for the last two months and don't think I will until after our puppies have all been sold and are gone.

I've been exercising, but am going to start doing even more this week because one of my BFF's and I decided that instead of going out for lunch every day, we are going to brown bag it and hit our office gym. Brown bagging instantly means I eat better.

I also just had the most normal cycle I have had for the first time since last August, which gives me some hope that things are getting back on track. I have decided that if I'm not pregnant by the end of the year I am going to request a laparoscopy just to make sure there is no scar tissue preventing anything and to make sure everything else looks good. Until then though, I'm going to stay pretty zen about all of it. I don't miss stressing about every little thing in my cycle, so I am glad to have a reason to not really keep track of it (i.e., pregnant dogs/impending puppies).

That's pretty much it for now. I am way behind on my blog reading again, but will hopefully have some time to catch up a bit this week.

She's Like Her Mama

If you're sick of the surgery and TTC updates from me, raise your hand.

That looks like pretty much everyone. Okay then, let's talk about something else for a bit, shall we? I thought it might be fun to talk about Baby Bean for a bit. Its been a long time since I've done that.

I want to start out by saying I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being a mama, especially to my little girl. I just love her so much. On top of that, she is one smart little cookie. We get comments all of the time about how smart she is. She has a pretty big vocabulary already and picks up new words all of the time. She is big on repeating things you say too. Yes, we do have to watch what we say now. lol On top of her vocab, she is really good at knowing where things are, such as her mouth, teeth, nose, and cabesa. When asked, she can tell you what doggies and kitties say. She can even tell you what Maggie and Sadie say. It is so stinking adorable.

One of my favorite things is how much she is like her mama. I inherited my love of dogs from my dad. I got my first dog when I was about 6 years old and have had dogs ever since. I used to spend all day outside playing with my dog growing up. I could often times be found in the dog house with my pooch. I would crawl in there with colored chalk and draw pictures of furniture on the walls for them. I would throw them birthday parties, and I created a summer camp for them one year in which I sewed capes for them and created a camp song.

Baby Bean is starting to become attached to our dogs, but especially Sadie. I think those two are going to be the best of friends over the years. Sadie is such a good girl, well, they both are, but Baby bean likes Sades the best. She crawls all over her, hits her on the head with things, pulls her fur and all that jazz. Sades doesn't mind one bit. She just sits there and takes the abuse. Baby Bean also likes to crawl into Sadie's crate and kick her out. She thinks it is so much fun to be in there, and often times she will close the door and just hang out.


It makes her daddy and I laugh. It makes me laugh more because I used to do the same thing, only I kept the dog in there with me.

The other day Baby Bean had gone and gotten the dog's leash out of the basket of her stroller and was attempting to put it on Sadie.


See what I mean about Sadie just sitting there and letting the baby do whatever she wants? Sometimes on our walks, her dad will hand her Sadie's leash while she is in the stroller. It is amazing how Sades just knows Baby Bean has the leash, so she doesn't pull at all and walks right next to the stroller.

Baby Bean also likes to share her food with Sades, or rather, she tries to share. Sadie knows she isn't allowed to take food from the baby, so she usually just acknowledges that Baby Bean is trying to share.


I love that my daughter is gaining my love and appreciation for dogs. I am so glad that I have two of the best, most gentle, child-loving dogs. It is so much fun to watch them all interact and love each other. We love our "Farty Party Dog."

Sadie, You Ain't No Lady

Sadie is my third Border Collie. She my little Sudsie Sadsie, my Sudster, my Blu Dawg, my Party Dawg, my Bulky Baby, my Tank, and especially my Crazy Dawg. She, like most people/animals in my life, has a multitude of nicknames. I love this crazy little girl. She is so hyperactive, which used to drive me nuts, but now I love it. I love to get her all riled up to the point that she whimpers excitedly or barks or runs around crazily. She brings out the kid in me.

Not only that, but I love the way this pup snuggles. She sidles up next to you on the couch and lays her face and sometimes one or both front paws across your legs as she dozes off. You can then in turn wrap a leg or two around her. She doesn't care. She just loves to be snugged. She is definitely an avid dreamer dog, meaning she runs and barks in her sleep. It is freaking hilarious! I always have to try not to laugh too hard so I don't wake her up.

Lately this little gal has really been trying to push her limits. Here is a list of misdoings from this past week alone:

• After dinner one night I left my plate on the table and took Baby Bean to the store. Hubs was upstairs when he heard what sounded like silverware on a plate. He came down to find Sudster up on a chair cleaning off my plate. She has NEVER done this before.


• Thanksgiving day I tossed a can that had cream of chicken soup into the recycle bin. We found the can later that night in the family room. I wish I could say she has never rooted in the garbage, but that was the second offense of that nature.


• One night we decided to leave her out of her crate while we were gone to see if we could trust her to behave. When we got home we found she had climbed up on the kitchen counter to obtain an avocado that she promptly tore up all over our new white rug in the family room.


• Mags has a stuffed bear that Sades stole and tore open the leg. Since then I have been hiding the bear or putting in places she knows she's not supposed to go. Last night she went up into my bedroom, found the bear, took it downstairs leaking stuffing everywhere, and tore it up right behind my husband.

Hubs gets mad at me because most of the time I am so shocked by her behavior I laugh. He hates it that I don't discipline her better. I guess I don't get on her more because it is my fault she is acting up. I need to walk her and exercise her to get her energy out. I can't blame her for that.

After the bear incident last night I decided that instead of being locked up in her nice warm crate inside the house while we were at work today, she would be out in the backyard, no matter how cold it was. The dogs do have a heated dog house out there, but Sadie rarely uses it. I think Mags growls her out. This morning it was a lot colder than I anticipated, but Hubs talked me into leaving her out there so she could run off her energy, claiming that alone would keep her warm, so I did.

All I can say is that little girl is lucky I love her as much as I do. I can't imagine a world without my Sudsie Sadsie.

It's the Little Things

Help Leah and Taher Adopt!
The fabulous Leah from Life According to Leah asked me to please post up a picture of the vase I made for her to raffle off on her blog in an attempt to help them raise money for their adoption. Leah and her husband recently underwent two rounds of IVF that went very wrong, and are now taking the route to adoption to expand their family. Every Friday she holds a raffle on her blog and asks that you donate only $5 to buy a ticket to be entered into the drawing. She has had some really great prizes up the last few weeks, and I hope her fans find my artistic work worth a few dollars toward her cause. If you are interested in this beautiful piece of work, hop on over to her blog and chip in!



Please know that the picture does not do the colors justice. I had to use a flash to get the picture, and as you can see, it kind of washed it out a bit.

A Present Changes Paws
For our first wedding anniversary I took Hubs up into the mountains to a Swiss getaway for the weekend. The trip ended up being interesting, to say the least. I look back on it and laugh, he looks back on it and thinks it was a waste. Nothing is ever a waste if you choose to laugh about the little disappointments that life sometimes brings.

During our stay at the chateau, we visited their gift shop. This was back in the days when money was abundant and ready to be spent. Ahhh those early newlywed days.... *sigh* Upon walking into the gift shop, I immediately laid eyes on a handmade leather dog collar with gold cows on it and had to have it for Mags. The smallest one they had looked like it might be too big, but I bought it anyway. (It was only a measly $50!) When we got it home and put it on Mags, it was definitely too big and it looked rather uncomfortable. I was bummed, but I still loved the collar, so I hung it on a coat hook next to the back door, hoping to use it some day.

That some day has come! The collar caught my eye the other day as it sat nearly hidden on a bookshelf. I laughed and showed it to Hubs, then set it on the table. A few days later it occurred to me that Sades is much bigger than Mags and she just might be able to sport the collar. Here is how it all went down:

See the beautiful collar? Sades does too. *sniffie sniff*

Make a closer inspection Sades. What do you think?

Sades likie. I told her to wear it to bed and to let me know tomorrow if she wants to keep it.

Growin' a Garden
It has been raining and overcast here for the last 7 days. We saw a bit of sun on Wednesday only to have the rain return again by this morning. It has been raining 24/7 since last Thursday night. I appreciate the rain very much and the cut on the AC drain even more, but a little sun would be nice now.

The day before yesterday a nice little mushroom garden started to sprout in our lawn. The mushrooms have grown exponentially every day. Tonight when I got home from work, this is what I saw:

'Shrooms anyone?

(Please ignore the gigantor weeds.) By the time the sun went down tonight, those suckers were twice that size!

What a Day...

I don't think I would ever chalk today up as being one of my most favorite ever. I am actually just hoping to finish out the rest of the day incidence free at this point. All I can say is that I miss my old OB, vet, and mechanic more than ever.

This morning just before I headed out the door to go to work, I made a loo run. To my horror, I noticed I was spotting. My heart started pounding and my head started swimming. It was all brown spotting, which did mean it was old, but this didn't bring me much comfort as my monthly cycles usually start with the brown stuff too. I tried to pull myself together, but walked over to Hubs nearly sobbing and told him I was spotting and what should I do. I didn't know if I should call in sick to work or go, or if I should call my doctor or just wait and see what happened. Hubs tried to soothe me as best he could while he was half asleep, so I got up and called my sister to see what she said. Of course I was barely coherent when I called her because I was freaking out a little at this time. She, too, told me to calm down and that everything was fine. She said the fact that it was brown blood was a really good sign, as was the fact that I wasn't currently cramping, even though I had been the night before. I told her I had had an exam on Monday, but it didn't make any sense that the spotting from the exam would wait four days to show up. She said she was sure that was what it was, but told me to call my doctor anyway.

I know this sounds really stupid, but I didn't want to call my doctor. I was afraid they would make me leave a message with the nurse's voice mail and they wouldn't call me back, because that has already happened once before. So I opted to curl up on the couch with Mags and go to sleep, but not before tearfully calling my supervisor at work and informing him I would be late. While I was asleep my supervisor sent me a text message and told me to just stay home today and take care of myself. Can I just say I work for one of the best guys ever? I am sure he is so sensitive to my pregnancy because his own wife delivered their little girl at 27 weeks just over a year ago. (Yes, their baby survived, and she is one of the most gorgeous baby girls I have ever seen.)

When I woke up from my nap I went and found Hubs. When he asked if I had called the doctor and I told him no, I know he wanted to smack some sense into me. Instead he gave me a frustrated sigh and asked why not. He thought my reason was lame and proceeded to lecture me, so I called the doctor just to make him stop. To my shock and amazement, they handed the phone directly to a nurse who asked my information and said someone would call me back in a few minutes once they had spoken with a doctor. My doctor was not available for whatever reason today, so we got a call from another doctor's nurse saying they wanted me to come in for a sonogram just to make sure everything was okay. By this time the spotting had all but stopped, and I wasn't panicking anymore, but I wouldn't refuse a chance to see Baby Bean.

The ultrasound showed Baby Bean quietly sitting upside down inside with her little heart beating away. Everything is just fine, and the spotting has been attributed to my exam on Monday. Although the doctor I saw today thought it was odd that it took so long to happen too. By this time it was 3:00 and there was no point going to work, so I went home and slept for a couple of hours.

Then tonight I went outside to play ball with Mags (it is her FAVORITE thing ever in this whole entire world - she would play fetch professionally if she could). We play fetch using a ball thrower we bought at the pet store (if you're interested in seeing what it looks like, see this link). As I was swinging the chucker back to throw the ball Sadie got right in front of it and it smacked her square in the mouth. I heard a noise like a tooth breaking, so I held her down and to my horror, saw that one of her canines had been broken in half and the root in the inside of the tooth was exposed and bleeding. I tried to call my old vet who is an hour behind me to see if I needed to take Sades to a vet, but was told to call back in an hour. I am just praying he says she won't need to go to the vet because it is a baby tooth, but where it is broken in half I can see him saying it will need to be excised to prevent infection. In which case, my credit card is going to get a nice little workout from the vet yet again.

Needless to say, today has not been a banner day, and I am anxiously waiting for the sun to go down and my clock to prompt me it is time to go to bed. I feel like such a bad dog mom, and I really, really miss my old doctor and my old vet.

Adjusting

It has been almost a full week since we brought little Sadie Roo home, and it has been a very adventurous one for everyone involved. The first few days and nights were rough, but we came to the realization that we now live on a quarter acre lot and while we are housebreaking Sades, there is no reason she can't be out in the back yard during the day to prevent in-crate accidents and constant howling and wining. She was born outside and lived her first 6 weeks outside, and so wants to be outside most of the time anyway. So to keep everyone happy, she now gets to spend a few hours during each day just running around the back yard, sleeping under the porch, playing in the grass, and doing her "biz" whenever she needs to. Then she gets to spend a few hours in her play pen where her crate is located. Hubs says she will spend almost all of her time in her crate all on her own. I'm glad that she realizes her crate is her safe place and willingly goes into it.

Yesterday I noticed that Sadie had some blood mixed in with her "leavings". I had a kitten once that had the same problem, and after running a whole slew of tests, it was determined that his problem was just that he had an irritable bowl. I didn't know if Sadie had the same problem, so I called the breeder today to see if he had known if any of his other pups had had this problem. Much to my dismay, he got defensive with me and proceeded to tell me that Sadie had never had diarrhea when she was living with him. I beg to differ! He pulled her out of her pen the day we picked her up COVERED in diarrhea. He handed her to me covered in crap so that my arms ended up being covered in crap until we bathed her. Then she had diarrhea in her crate on the way home. Needless to say, his attitude made me slightly angry. Don't freaking lie to me and think I am stupid enough to believe it when I've seen the truth with my own eyes. Not only that, but I didn't call him to accuse, only to ask if he had seen the problem before.

I called a vet this morning and got her in this afternoon. They ran a bunch of tests, all of which came back negative. She is running a slight fever, so their best guess is that she has some kind of virus or bacterial infection. She is now on three different oral medications for the next 10 days. Poor little sweetie.

Maggie is not adjusting well at all. The only thing she will do is hide under our bed. She wants nothing to do with the puppy and nothing to do with us either. She refuses to come when called, and when she does she will come part way, stop, wait for you to command her to come again, come part way, stop, wait for you to call her.... this goes on for way too long. She feels that she does not have to obey Hubs or me. Not only that, but she has barely touched her food and refuses to go to the bathroom if the puppy is outside. I realize her world has been VERY traumatic the last 4 months, so I am very patient with her and am trying really hard to figure out what I need to do to help her confidence levels. I make sure she gets her own mom time, and we snuggle all night long now. I did notice a vast improvement today, however. Hubs put both dogs out for a few hours, and when I came home tonight Mags didn't tuck tail and run when I started paying attention to the pup. She actually came over and socialized with us. She didn't run away from the puppy when Sadie affectionately nuzzled her.

I knew the first week would be the hardest, and I knew I would be glad when it was behind us. I was right. Its only going to get easier from here.

Recommendation

After getting little to no sleep the last two nights, I have a recommendation to anyone considering getting a puppy: don't take home a puppy that is not at LEAST 7 weeks old. If I had had a choice in the matter of Sadie's age, I would have left her at the breeder for another two weeks, but he was adamant that he wanted the pups gone by 6 weeks of age. I am really regretting not telling him we could not pick Sadie up until she was 8 weeks old.

I became painfully aware during her first 24 hours in the house that her puppy brain had not yet developed to the point where I could do much with her besides listen to her endless yelping and howling at all hours of the day. She is too young yet to understand any kind of reprimand. She is at an age where she is more curious and wanting to explore than she is fearful of anything. She is also at the age where puppies learn by playing with their litter mates what type of biting is acceptable and what type is not, meaning she gnaws on anything and everything she can get her little mouth around. My hands are all scratched up because of her biting milk teeth. I finally got to the point where I pulled out a bottle of Bitter Apple dog spray that I bought when I first got Maggie and then never needed and dipped one of my fingers in a capful of it. Sadie did not appreciate the taste at all when she next tried to gnaw on me, which I was really glad to see.

We have come to the realization that the next week or so could be rough with this young pup until her adult brain really starts to develop. I know it sounds sad, but I am looking forward to when her fear stage kicks in at 8 weeks so that we can begin bonding and I can begin training her. There really is a big difference between a pup that is 6 weeks and one that is 8 weeks.

Maggie tries to tolerate the pup as best she can, but even she gets fed up with the constant whining and biting. Whenever Sadie starts to cry, Maggie picks up and leaves the room. I got her to rough house with Sadie for a little bit tonight, which was really fun to see. She is definitely jealous of the pup and guards me with her life. She shows her possessiveness by sitting in my lap or touching me constantly with a paw. I do encourage her to rough house with Sadie as much as possible.

The best advice I have received so far was to put a ticking clock next to Sadie's crate. Apparently it soothes the pup and reminds her of her mother's heartbeat. I gave it a whirl today, and I have been absolutely amazed at how quickly Sadie hunkers down when I put her in her crate with the clock ticking away on top of it (thank God!). I just hope it proves to be as effective tonight while I'm trying to catch some much needed sleep.

I know I am not supposed to compare my puppies, but my first two border collies were a walk in the park compared to this pup. They never howled and whined and they never chewed on anything that didn't belong to them. I attribute most of this to Sadie's young age, and I just hope that I'm right.

For now, this frustrated pooch mom is signing off while the pup is sound asleep in her crate.

Welome Home Sadie Roo!

The 7+ hour day is over. Whew! We left this morning around 10:30 to go pick up our little Sadie Roo. The breeder told us it was okay if we brought Maggie, and I am so glad we did because I think it really helped keep Sadie's trauma level low on the way home. We got to the breeder's around 2:00 this afternoon, and were taken back into the kennel where my sweet new little pup was sleeping soundly in a mess of puppy crap and pee. Oh yeah, she smelled fantastic! I did have one little surprise, however. I paid $500 for a red and white Border Collie puppy, and to my surprise, my pooch had been upgraded to a rare tri-colored pup! The red and white BCs are already rare among their breed, but the tris are even more rare, and so cost twice as much ($1K!). Alright then, I'll take it!

We were at the kennel for about an hour while the breeder gave Sadie a quick flee bath, a set of shots, and a list of do's and don'ts for us. He seemed really pleased with the knowledge I already came equipped with, and said that I was asking all of the right questions, in the right order, and split seconds before he went into the topics on his usual "new puppy owner" shpeel. He did give me a few pieces of good advice that I had not thought of before though.

After Sadie's flee bath, we took her to meet Mags. Maggie wasn't quite sure what to do with the pup at first, but a few seconds later went into displays of dominance, which is exactly what we wanted to see. We let the two romp around the breeder's office while he got Sadie's pedigree and shot records all taken care of, and about 20 minutes later we were on our way home.

Sadie braved the car ride extremely well. Her and Maggie spent about the first hour of the car ride licking each other's snouts through the crate, until Sadie got tired, curled up, and went to sleep. Maggie followed suit. About half an hour before we got home, Sadie started to whimper. I looked back into her crate and realized she was doing the "I've gotta poop!" dance. A few seconds later, we were driving down the freeway with all four windows down looking for the next exit.

Sadie seems so tiny to me, and I can't believe that the breeder thought she was ready to be separated from her litter, but there isn't much I can do about it. I think the next two weeks are going to be really hard for me while her little brain is still developing. House breaking is going to be a little tough since when I try to scold Sadie for going inside the house, Maggie thinks SHE is the one who is being scolded and she thinks its the puppy's fault, which means she doesn't dare go near the puppy afterward.

Maggie has absolutely established her dominance, and once she felt like she had made that clear, she felt free to play with the puppy. She spent the first part of the evening playing interception between the puppy and me, but she seems to be adjusting to her enough to romp with her and drench Sadie's head in her saliva whilst doing so.

The next couple of weeks should be interesting, and I am just praying that Sadie is as easy of a puppy as Maggie was. I hope she trains quickly and easily with very little direction, and I hope her barking and howling are at a minimum to keep her on Hubs' good side. For now, she is fast asleep in her crate, and I hope she will sleep for a good long time yet so I can catch a few z's myself.

Below is a short little video of the two pooches hitting it off. Enjoy!

The Results Are In

I want to start out by saying thank you so much for all of your congratulations on our exciting news. I also want to give a special thank you to my friend Mrs. La La from Crowded Uterus Syndrome for the plug on her blog. I have never had so many comments on any blog post before. Thank you to all of her lovely friends for stopping by and offering up congrats. Each and every comment brought a smile to my face.

I do want to clarify one thing before I go any further. I realize in my last post I mentioned that I had given up hope of ever being a mother when I got my positive pg test. I don't for a minute think that is the reason we conceived. I know it was because my surgery 7 months ago was finally a success. I also can't help but wonder if our baby is a little boy who takes after his daddy and just didn't want to show up until he could be conceived and born in Texas. :p

I FINALLY got my lab results back today. I was supposed to go to the hospital on Saturday to get my second set of labs done to ensure my counts were rising properly, but the hospital wouldn't draw my blood because my doctor didn't put on her order "for diagnosis of pregnancy." I called her office first thing Monday morning to find out what I needed to do, and by 3:00 that afternoon they still had not returned my call. Frustrated, I called her office again, got the run-around, had to call two different offices a total of three times, and finally was told to schedule a follow-up appointment for Tuesday.

Tuesday was not any less frustrating than Monday, however. The nurse kept asking me why I was there, even after I told her three times because I had a positive pg test. She didn't understand why I would have needed my blood drawn the Saturday before. She even had my labs from from Thursday in her hands the whole time. Then it finally dawned on her that I had told her three times I had a positive pg test right there in their office the week before. Duh! When the doctor came in she asked about my symptoms and how I was feeling, and then ordered the blood work that was supposed to have been done over the weekend. This frustrated me because I now had to pay $35 to get my blood drawn when I wouldn't have had to pay for it at the hospital, and I felt like my time away from work was a waste. I did take away some good news from the visit though. My progesterone count was 51, and she said they wanted to see above 15. My HCG was 226, which was indicative of being 3 weeks along.

When I left the doctor's office on Tuesday she told me that they would have my results back by the next day, and that if I didn't hear from them by Thursday to give them a call. Frustrating! Of course I didn't hear back yesterday, and my hopes were not high that my phone call would be returned today, since they never bothered to return my call on Monday. But a couple hours after I left a message, a less than excited nurse called me back. Her tone of voice sent momentary panic through me because I thought she was going to deliver some bad news.
Then I realized that is just the way she talks. She told me that my counts had "gone up appropriately." Yay! I wanted to ask her what my counts were, but didn't dare because she didn't sound like the most friendly person. She transferred me to scheduling, and I am now all set for my first ultrasound on June 3o. :D

As for pregnancy symptoms, I hardly have any. My girls are still sore and starting to swell, which is the biggest symptom (and my favorite!). I haven't had any morning sickness. I still have bouts of dizziness every now and then. I was always tired before I got pregnant, so its hard to tell if I'm more tired now than I was before, since it isn't uncommon for me to slip out to my car for a 15 minute nap at work every day. I have actually felt pretty good, which concerns me at times, but I guess that isn't uncommon.

In other news, we are less than 48 hours away from going to get Sadie Roo. I got a call from the breeder this morning confirming our pickup for Saturday. We spent tonight cleaning up as the final preparation for her homecoming. Her crate is all set up and waiting, complete with pink pooch towel. I promise to take loads of pictures and put together a little slide show ASAP to show off our little ball of fuzz. :)

Well, now I'm off to see where Mags got off to and get ready for bed. :)

Another One Bites the Dust

This past week I finished yet another project around the house. We had company coming for the weekend, so I started painting our half bathroom last weekend. Although the before pictures below look nice, let me assure you, the color in the bathroom was NOT nice. It was a color that was close to a "pee" yellow. Not only that, but the ceiling was the same color as the walls, and the paint job was horribly done. There were spots all over the walls where the previous bathroom color peeked through the pee pee paint. The light switches and outlets in the pictures below are an upgrade we did upon moving in.

Before

After

Before

After

When I first stared painting the bathroom I wondered what I had done by choosing such a dark color. I was afraid I had turned the bathroom into a cave, but once I pulled the blue tape off the moldings, I really started to like the way the white items in the bathroom starkly contrasted the gray-blue paint. I have to admit, I love this new bathroom color.

We were supposed to be yet another step closer to finishing our house when all of our blinds showed up on Wednesday. Based on the way the whole day went on Wednesday, I should have cried that my blinds showed up that day because it was just not my day. As we began to unpack our 12 blinds we found that only two had survived the shipping undamaged. I was seriously upset, not only because they showed up damaged, but also because we ordered them a MONTH ago and they were shipped to the wrong place before they got to us. Then on top of that we had company coming this weekend and now had no window coverings. I believe I cried when I opened one of our three 9-foot blinds (which retails at $500) and found the head rail so torqued we couldn't hang it.

My project for this weekend is going to be to plant flowers in our front flower bed. I would normally spend the weekend cleaning the house from top to bottom while doing laundry, but I already cleaned everything during the week in anticipation of our company last night. For the first time since we moved in, I have nothing to do! I honestly don't know what to do with myself while I wait for heat of the day to subside so I can go plant flowers and take a walk with Mags.

I did fill up part of my morning going shopping for the puppy. We bought her a pink pooch collar, some puppy toys, and a gold engraved dog tag, which leads me to the dog's chosen name. First, I would like to thank all of you who voted on the puppy name poll. I did take the poll into consideration over the past week and a half and still waffled despite my firm resolution to go with the name chosen by the poll. One night I was talking to my dad and was telling him that I really wanted to name the dog Sadie. I told him that while most people would associate my finding her name on the day Roo died as a bad association, I actually thought of it as a positive association. To me it is like a little piece of Roo will live on because this pup's name came about by an inspiring moment on an otherwise cruel day. My dad told me that he felt I should call the pup Sadie. The next day I spoke with my new best friend about it, and she went one step further; she told me I should name the pup Sadie Roo. So in honor of my lost little Roo, the new pup's name is going to be Sadie Roo.

I think I will take the next hour or so of my completely free time to check out all of your blogs. I hope you all have a fun, safe Memorial Day weekend.