October 31, 2004
i finish box 1! yeah... working straight 2 days 8hrs... tired.. been sleeping like only 4hrs..
COMON! its holidayS! but i muz watch finish the vcd... before i leave! pass to zz ma.. hee..
tml 1-9~ how to wake up?
if you dun tell... i will never know... i am still waiting...
October 29, 2004
October 28, 2004
after watching 9 ball...
i am on aegean sea......
the duet is so nice.. i began to fall in love with it...
maybe for once.. i shld plan to go heaven... and have a look
and see if hell is the place i wanted to go.....
October 22, 2004
i always think that i know her well.
too well, i thought
it always seems to me that answers i seek shldnt be questioned directly
even if it often results in wrong information, wrong steps.
otherwise, i will feel that i am controlling, manipulating, restricting...
and i hate to make her feel like this....
sometimes, i blame myself doing it sub-consicously
not just sometimes. too often.
afterall, i dont know what i should do.
its like a new topic in my life
problem based learning kind
no guides
no formulas
no correct answers - nor suggested.
i dont want to fail this topic
though, i had already failed my coursework.
i wan to try my best.
score in my theory
but life is cruel
its telling me
'you failed your coursework
you failed the whole module'
its not even giving me a chance
there's no supp paper to take
even how weel i score in my theory, it only stand 0.01%. coursework is 99.9%
i was looking for hope. work hard. pray hard.
life, came to me,
'you cant retake this module. you have to go on
if this module is required of you, it will inform you to take it again.'
i dont believe in this...
cant i just go back?
progressing is so hard
i already failed behind. what can i do infront?
i am hopeless, helpless.
its just like failing my E maths
and i am still taking these A maths & F maths
life, once again,
'theres a will, theres a way'
a way? what way? this is a total dead end
its not like i can climb up, or dig a hole
maybe i should just bang my head against the wall and see if it cracks
but my will is just too weak... after all these failures.
human are weak beings. it take so many years to breed a fine man..
and only takes a blow to kill it.
true enough,
'life is always full of hope' it says.
but we are always telling ourselves, 'believe in ourselves'
we never mention ' believe in life'
how hopeful can we be?
i shall seek a new topic
a topic i have hopes in.
a topic i can pass, score and ace.
theory now, is not important.
theory then, is total bullshit.
i dont want to just pass
nor i wan to score it
i wan a distinction
i wan to ace it
get a grade i am truly happy with
get a grade i can live with it.
i am willing to start from scratch.
a brand new topic.
practise make it perfect.. not you...
mada mada...........................................................
October 21, 2004
today is a super super sianz day
first of all... i got the meeting date wrong.. so i went sch. FOR NOTHING. its friday.
but well.. i manage to return a book.. and borrowed another one.. heh..
buy beehoon go home. only one packet. let my mama eat half. the other half..
is my lunch! pathetic lunch... lucky got coke.. hee
den i play maple story.. all the way till 6... wait for mama to cook.. but was too hungry..
fall asleep.
wake up. 1130
have you all ever eaten curry without coconut milk?
today my cute mama did it. she forgot to buy. and the best thing is she cook halfway den she realised. lol. the chicken.. become like curry powder chicken.. haha...
madA~
October 19, 2004
today is a super super tiring daY!
first of all.. i slept at 6am.. which is already no ho...
den i woke up at 12. went out. meet them at 1 at bedok
they were late! sianz~... but 130 they r here... so its fine.
we travelled all the way to jurong. hz iz late~ so we wait. 230.
we went mac to eat. den went to SEE the ice skate. too ex. we decided to go kallang leisure
mrt to kallang. walk to leisure park. and guess what? FUCKING SHIT they are closed for renovations! cb! nb! how am i supposed to know?!?! $^#%%^*$ damn it man... i wont ever go there within 2 years time.
so we dragged ourselves to kallang again... den to bugis. strawberry and mango icE! at least something that we looked forward to. its nice.. but somehow i guess it expensive to eat alone. its like $6.50? haha.. but very nice.
once again.. we dragged ourselves back to the 'beloved' smrt. back to bedok. pool. mac again~
*faint* OMFG! mac whole day again~ i din eat dinner any way. just had mcflurry cupp n some fries.. some pwrappers.. haha..
particularly the whole damn day was laming n crapping n dragging ourselves ard. we din even had what we planned! ice skaTE! damn kallang leisure.. made us walk here n there...
mada!!!!!!!!! mada!!!!!!! dane!!!!!!!!
October 17, 2004
work work work work...
all i wanted is some time...
not to play computer games..
not to do house chores...
not to revise lectures....
not to watch tv.....
not to listen to music......
not to sleep more.......
all i wanted is to know what happening in your life
now
recently
currently
yesterday
today
tomorrow
plans
happenings
but
theres always no replies.
mada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 15, 2004
sneaking out in the middle of the night is no ho...
mada mada!
October 13, 2004
i was telling him all along...
shorter...
shorter..
shorter.
shorter!!!!
why cant he get the worD?
mada. my hair is short. YEAH!
October 12, 2004
today is a loooooooooooooooooooooooong loooooooooooooooooong daY!
but somehow.. quite happy... though tired.. hee
morning i woke up very very very early! (well its holiday.. so i guess it very early for me... 830! promised cheryl to eat breakfast at bk... so i jioed cy too... since i felt only the 2 of us abit weird.. heh...) and.. cheryl. was late. as usual. haiz. cy and i waited for 1.30hrS! only till 11 she appeared... well.. girls need time to prepare themselves to come out right? so i guess it was alright.. since she also had some chores to do.. forgiven! hee..
afterall she is my darling sister.. =P in the end we still had bk breakfast... at 1050! lucky we managed to get it at the last order.. hee...
after that she had to go back sch for some tpsu meeting... cy n her took 69... he, home. =D
i also go home la... play a lil of maple story... damn cutE! haha...
check this out:
Maple Story
played till 230... and prepared myself to set off to marina! for steamboat! haha...
the girls was early... so they complain and grouch that we (cy and i) was late.. haha.. sorry girls.. i din know u all will wait for me! paiseh... =P
we headed off to bowling! but i was already quite tired (since i woke up so early) so i guess i will just pass.. and played some arcade instead... played bomberman.. for i think.. almost 30mins! haha... they have already finished a game of bowling by then... and we went to play pool! liling is learning fast! i think one day... she can play better den ruifang and jiawen... hee...
next up! of cuz is steamboatiE! got 11 of us... eat n eat n eat... and the show of the day.. is prawn killing! haha... so fun.. the girls scare the live prawns will jump out... den they dun dare to kill... nicole is the brave one! yeah~ but seriously... when u get used to it.. u wont scare le.. last time i also scare one... seriously... live prawns are scary... hurr... =P
its already 10 so weeeeee all headed back.. tired n smelly... stinks of oil n smoke... results of a bbq steamboat.. haha... everyone is tired.. home... bed.. bathe... we miss u.. haha...
tml is a longer day... gotta wake up at 9... for grooming workshop! how i wished i dun haf to go.. but i will feel guilty one... oops... celebrating yihan's birthday tml! hee.. i am happy...
mada! mada! mada mada!
October 11, 2004
tml.. steamboaTS! =D
October 09, 2004
ITS FINALLY OVER!
now... its waiting for the sms of the semster...
but still...
i cant get over it...
and i shall declare myself bankrupt!
mada? mada mada...
October 07, 2004
ONE LAST PAPER.
sorry mr chan i am going to sleep first.
mada mada dane...
October 05, 2004
its just a small little...
not even of my concern...
why do i care so much?
i cant sleep.
i am so pissed off
i felt so angry
it just choked me up
and i dunno why...
why am i doing all these?
haix
exams. 3 hours later.
bye peeps.
mada? i think i had had enough.
October 03, 2004
You can be strong
You can be brave
You can be courageous
You can be our Hero
but....
we are still human....
No matter how strong
No matter how brave
No matter how courageous
You can be weak... and there is no need to be afraid...
when it is the time to cry... cry...
don't be afraid to fall...
don't be afraid to cry...
because...
you still need the courage
you still need the guts
you still need the strength
to cry...
to fall...
and climb back up again.
when it is the time to cry... cry...
when you fall... fall deep...
no one will blame you
no one will tease you
no one will...
because you are braver
because you are stronger
because you are more courageous
to face life
to face fate
to face reality
to face the world
when is it the time to cry... cry...
mada mada...
October 01, 2004
Chlorpheniramine Tablet for running nose
Paracetamol Tablet for fever
Terbutaline Sulphate for phlegm
SP for cough
Dorithricin orginal Halstabletten for throat
arGH
i hate cough syrup.
mada.