Lost.

It's amazing how I can still afford to feel lost as the clock ticks, counting down to the day of my flight back to Singapore. I have been making a conscious effort in keeping the resolutions, but haven't had much success with (1) and (3). I'm making progress for (3), though. It's taking super long for me to get used to speaking up in class, but well, I'm getting there.

I'm confused. And lost about what I should do with my time here at Yale. The other YVISP-ers are involved in so many activities. They joined student societies, got themselves invited to parties, hang out with Yalies and etc. Me, on the other hand, didn't join a single society, avoided parties and couldn't make friends outside of the YVISP circle. 

I sound like one of those sad souls who post in College Confidential about missing the "college experience".

In a sense, I am. And until this point, I chose it. I chose not to join student societies because I wanted to spend more time on the academic. I chose not to go to parties because I'm uncomfortable with crowds.  I don't hang out with Yalies because I'm still getting used to socializing in this new environment. These elements constitute much of the "college experience" that we have been sent here to experience. I indeed feel like I'm missing out on something. However, I'm not sure if I will regret missing out on all of this in the future.

I wrote "interacting with people raised in a different culture" and "expanding skill set" in my personal statements. I was so enthusiastic back then. I'm not sure what happened. I'm guessing (and hoping) that it's some sort of culture shock, and I will soon recover from it.

HELP, SOMEONE, HELP.