With Two Hands, Baby! (for JustMe)

(This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post, I just think it's cute)


So one of the earliest signs of a developmental delay like Asperger's is an absence of pointing, or pointing with something other than your index finger. At Keaton's 2 year checkup the doctor asked if he pointed and when I said, "No. Does that matter?" she stopped writing and told me it was a marker for a variety of problems, and then proceeded to run down another list of behaviors I should be watching for. We all know how that turned out.

Anyway.

Keaton did eventually start pointing.......with his middle fingers. For a couple of years, every time he would point with his "tall man" I would just acknowledge whatever he was showing me by saying, "Oh yes! I see _____!" and use my index finger to show him the appropriate way to point.

Do you think he caught on? No. No he didn't. And as he got older and was hanging around with older kids it started to concern me a little more that he might be taken the wrong way if we didn't teach him the right finger to point with. So I started saying, "Keaton, when we point, we use THIS finger. It's even CALLED your pointer! Isn't that cool?" And he would fumble around awkwardly, trying to command his middles down and his pointers up.

Still, no dice. No spontaneous, un-coached dice anyway. Again and again his middle fingers were pointed: at people, at books, at signs. Did I mention at people?

So this summer after he had pointed again using his middle finger I finally sat him down and had the following conversation:

Me: "Keaton, when you point, you really need to use a different finger. This one is your pointer, and it's the best one for pointing."

Keaton: "Why?"

Me: "It just has the right name."

Keaton: "Why can't I use THIS one? (flipping me off)"

Me: (sigh) "Because that one means something very rude, Keaton. And if you point with that finger, people think you are saying something very mean."

Keaton: "What do they think I'm saying when I do this? (flips me off again)

Me: "They think you are very angry at them. And you don't want people to think you are angry, right? You don't want to hurt feelings."

Keaton (looking confused and staring at his outstretched middle finger again): "This means I'm angry?"

Me: "Yep. So let's try to remember to use the POINTER finger to point so we don't hurt feelings, okay?"

Keaton: "Okay Mom!"

He ran off and I kept my own fingers crossed that my explanation would help him remember why I was always talking to him about his.

Fast forward to that very same evening after dinner when Boone decided to watch a basketball game:

(**side note -- Boone loves sports. I mean LOVES sports. But he almost never watches games because he is too busy being productive. So when he DOES decide that something is worth watching I always encourage it and usually watch with him. I just wanted to clarify that it is rare for him to commandeer the remote and pick what he wants. Moving on... **)

Keaton: "Daaaaddd! I want to watch Spiderman!"

Boone: "Sorry bud, I'm going to watch basketball tonight."

Keaton: "DAAADD! I said I want Spiderman! Let me watch Spiderman!"

Me: "Keaton, you've watched Spiderman already. It's Dad's turn and he's watching basketball. Why don't you watch with Daddy?"

Keaton was fuming at this point -- probably dancing around like he does when he gets really agitated and starts to melt down -- when suddenly he stopped what he was doing, gained total control of himself, marched right up to the tv, and threw up both middle fingers in front of the screen.

Keaton: "I do this at you Dad, because I AM ANGRY AT YOU! I'M SHOWING YOU MY MIDDLE FINGERS!"

Hysterical laughing from both parents ensued and Keaton, satisfied with his result, went into the other room to color.

Keaton: 3,217 Parents: 0