If you have had a conversation with Branik since Christmas it has likely been initiated by him asking you what level you are on in Super Mario Bros. This kid was born to play with electronics. I don't get it, because my other two were never as excited about games and gadgets as Bran is. He loves the Wii and can't stand the days I don't allow it to be turned on. If Wii is outlawed for the day, he moves on to the computer. If I say no to that too, he wants his Leapster. If I veto that one based on the principle of not needing something with batteries for play time, he has (on more than one occasion) been found sitting under the kitchen table WITH A CALCULATOR.
Anyway, it wasn't hard to figure out what kind of birthday he wanted this year, but I wasn't expecting to be doing all the work by myself until the lovely army sent Boone to Mississippi for the week, only to return him 30 minutes before Branik's little party was scheduled. It worked out and Branik was totally thrilled, even when my cake plans had to be toned down a little. But that brings me to my soapbox moment of this blog...
I have finally realized that most of these elaborate kids parties are for the parents and not the kids -- especially at this age. All the kids want is a cake, some balloons, their friends, and some presents. Kids don't care about all the other junk -- and when I did bigger, more elaborate birthdays for my kids it was really to impress the parents. I mean, at the time I thought it was for the kids, but then I realized that kids require very little to have something qualify as "fun". So I decided to quit spending gobs of money on stuff they don't care about and to quit spending gobs of time on details that don't matter to them. Would he have liked Super Mario napkins and balloons? Probably. But did he still like his plain old red, blue, and green balloons? Yep. Would he have liked it if I had rented out Jump City for all of his friends to climb on inflatables for 2 hours? I'm sure he would have. Was his day "not fun" because he played in the backyard with friends instead? Nope. Would he have been delighted to see his face screen printed on Mario's body on a sheet cake? Undoubtedly. Did he squeal with delight at my 90 minute 9 x 13 cake? You betcha'.
I'm sure there will come a day where the bigger parties will be something they want, and from time to time we will probably do something like that. But when you ask your kid what they want to do on their birthday and they say, "eat cake and play with balloons", why spend hundreds of dollars doing more than they wanted? How will you manage to keep up with that expectation year after year? Seriously, I have had people in my kids' classes who report that their kid's birthday party cost $600. For a 5 year old.
SO. STUPID.
And really? Do you think I don't notice that we hardly know each other and that you are dying to pass this information on to me? Like I should be impressed that you waste money in obscene fashion? Well done, you. Not impressed. Making fun of you on my blog.
And now I will get off my soapbox and show you some pictures, grandparents/aunts who care.
My 90 minute Mario cake and "Big Mushroom" cupcakes.
The cake and some shadows from my hands and the camera.
The boys had seen this cake already about 25 times but kept coming back to look at it. Which is why I don't care that it isn't even remotely perfect. They didn't need perfect. They needed "recognizable as a Mario Bros" cake.
Present time could easily have been called "Card time" and it would have been just as exciting for Branik. He seriously LOVES cards and opens them before the gift every time. They are all still on the mantel because he loves them so much.
Here comes my favorite picture of the whole event -- the one that screams, "My birthday was rad!"
And for my mom: he hasn't quit playing with these in a week!
For everyone else: if you are wanting a gift idea these Wedgit blocks are awesome. Totally open-ended and engaging for all ages. My 8 year old girl and both of my boys fight over who's turn it is next. I may or may not have played with them after the kids were in bed.
So. It was a Happy Birthday for our baby boy, and we really appreciated all of our family and friends that made it a special day for him. And I appreciate myself for single parenting unexpectedly that week and still baking 48 cupcakes, a Mario cake, and a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting that was 100% from scratch. (And now, I appreciate my leg being healed enough that I can run all of that cake off.) Well done, Nicole. Thank you, Nicole.
19 comments:
Mmmmm... carrot cake...
(Picture me doing the Homer Simpson slobber.)
I appreciate the 6 cupcakes that I ate.
Also, that Mario cake was better than any cake I have ever made. And I've tried to do cool cakes.
Well said as far as the kids birthdays go. Brody's party will be very similar to Branik's and I'm sure the kids will love it. I asked Brody what he wanted to do for his birthday and he said, "Play games with my friends." You got it.
Seriously why spend the money on a fancy (probably blah) cake when you can have Nicole make a kick butt Mario cake in 90 minutes! I LOVE the cake and the cupcakes where the perfect touch! That was such a great idea!
I lived next door to a girl in TX that bragged about how her sons FIRST birthday cost her over $500. Then a few minutes later in the same conversation she went on to complain about money problems... hmmmmmmmm
Colie..this looks like a lot of fun for a birthday to me! The cake and cupcake? Adorable. I loved that he looked so happy.
Did you use fondant to make the characters/pictures on the mario cake? Regardless, your 90 min. cake would have taken me four days. At least. I learned a long time ago that me and frosting are NOT friends. I like to eat it, it likes to hate me. I'm okay with that.
Giant mushroom cupcakes? GENIUS! And they looked super delicious to boot!
I saw a Cannon! Yay! I love Cannon.
Even if I want to spell his name like the camera and not the artillery, sometimes.
Well said on stupid kid bday parties. Kids want cake and friends. They do pretty well without presents, too. Though, they never hurt:)
Looks like he was having a super rad time!!!
Word verification is "funora." And that's what it looks like Branik is having. Funora!
what a fun party. I totally agree with you on give what the kids Really want. Mason only wants streamers not balloons.
Your cake is AWESOME. Nothing says I love you than a homemade cake from mom. If we were closer Maryn would have love to make his cake. She is insisting on making Karsten's cake next week. The cupcakes are perfect. You are so creative!
Ya to smart mom's who make birthday parties about their kids and not themselves!!
Now go get a massage or something:)
What do you mean that cake is not perfect?! Look how much they LOVE IT! Perfect. And what is that, fondant? Holy cow. Great cake.
Down with fancy store cakes! My kids beg for my "That Cake," (you know, *THAT* cake you make, mom), which is two gallons of icecream with an entire iced sheet cake smashed up in them, with smashed oreos in between layers. Sometimes it has has whipped cream for icing, sometimes nothing at all. It sure isn't pretty, but my boys think they're the bees knees when I make it. Mason reminded me for 2 months that I promised to make it for his birthday.
And I'm with you on the excessive parties at this age. (Any age, really, but this age in particular.) When Chase turned four last summer, we went through the neighborhood looking for kids to come eat some That Cake off of Transformers plates, sing and play in the yard. Huge hit, very happy boy, practically free.
Well done, Nicole, indeed!
Love the cake. Love the theme and obvious fun that was had. As with most things in life, simple is best. Especially when it comes to kids.
Owen will be 4 on Monday. His 'party' will consist of his friend Jack and his friend Regan coming over for cake. Lydia who is 9 has never even had a friend party. Seriously though, what friend party can beat going bowling with 28 of your immediate family members?? I'm a party pooper when it comes to kid b-day parties.
Happy Birthday Branik! It's hard to believe how fast time flies.
And your cake and cupcakes look awesome.
Happy Belated Birthday to Branik! But OUCH! on the whole big party thing. Was that directed at us? :) You are right that kids would probably be happy just to play with a cardboard box but everyone has their different reasons why they do things.
Sarah, don't be retarded. That was not directed at you! Do you spend hundreds of dollars every year on every kid's birthday? No. I'm talking about the huge sheet cake, store bought everything, catered food, 40 kids, invite the entire school class, out of control parties. You guys got a free inflatable for Andrew and he loved it and it was a great party. But did you do that last year? Did Abby have a blow out bash in December? Does Avery get rented ponies and clowns? Nope.
I wondered if you would think I was talking about you but I posted it anyway because your family was not at all what I am talking about.
Yeah, that cake is so cool! I would be so bold as to ask for the pattern or what not, but it seems we'll be hemorrhaging PRINCESS here for awhile yet.
Nicely done. Doubly nice doing it flying solo.
I was happy to read Branik likes cards. I so hope mine has been put to good use...muahahaha.
Not too much longer!
oops. i think that was directed at me. he's my one and only. cut me some slack
Emi, not you either.
I'm kind of surprised that a few friends have taken this as a personal attack. This post was not directed at any one person (I'm not that stupid/confrontational/mean to call out my friends online -- not about parenting, anyway. Politics maybe, but not parenting;).
This post was more of a general complaint on my part about how parties and gifts for kids just seem to be escalating more and more.
I happen to think that regular, over-the-top events for children do a couple of things:
1. They set up expectations for children that may not always be met, whether by their own parents in the future (Hello economy!) or by their friends and/or spouses down the road.
2. They may end up teaching kids that "true" love on your part is best demonstrated by spending money. That unless you spent a lot, you don't love a lot.
3. They tend to make other kids and other parents who can't or choose not to afford such extremes feel somehow "less than" their peers. Like I must not love my children as much as those who spend hundreds on their kid's party, or that my kids will never FEEL as loved as the kids who get things like that.
Don't get me wrong -- I love my kids to death and really enjoy doing fun things with them and buying them gifts. I don't take pleasure in refusing their requests. I just see things getting out of hand and it seems like so much of it is parents competing against parents.
In recent years I have found myself just rebelling against the idea that you have to buy your kid every thing they want for happiness to be achieved. We're buying less at birthdays and Santa is bringing less at Christmas because my kids honestly get overwhelmed by all the stuff. They are SO much happier with 3 things instead of 10. Why fight that? So I can brag to other people about how much my kids got? So I can prove how much we can afford?
I also realized after posting this that I am starting to have some anxiety about Boone's career change. Specifically, that in all likelihood his income will increase significantly next year. I grew up in a home without a lot of money and have lived as a student and then as an army wife for the first 12 years of marriage. I don't know how to handle the idea of "having money". See? I can't even type the phrase without adding quotation marks.
It makes me nervous and uncomfortable because I want so badly not to get caught up with having "things". I don't want to compete with other parents. I don't want to feel like in order to fit in I have to spoil my kids by loading them down with things they don't need. But I am also painfully aware that I am easily influenced by my peers, which I consider to be one of my bigger flaws.
On a practical note, I feel like even on an army salary we have so much STUFF, and I don't want more money and the things it can buy to take over my life. I've known people like that and I don't want to become like them.
I have also known people who were incredibly wealthy and didn't show it at all. That's kind of what I'm shooting for. I look forward to having financial security and being able to take care of our family. I am thrilled that we will be able to take family vacations and that we will have the means to have a nice home.
I just don't want to become a snob and I am trying to figure out how to avoid that. I guess identifying things that I think are excessive is me trying to teach myself what not to do, even when we can afford to do it.
And like I said in the post, this doesn't mean that Boone and I will never throw a big party for one of our kids -- I just don't think it needs to be the norm.
So everyone can relax. I think I am really talking to myself in this post, maybe to Nicole of 2012 who will probably be tempted to keep up with the Jones' once it's a real possibility.
Your children are adorable and your cake was awesome! I love it when you are right and I get to agree with you.
I don't understand spending tons of money on a kid's birthday party. And, you are right, its not for the child, its so the parent can show-off.
And, while I'm ranting, I don't understand the trend of parents attending children's birthday parties. Why? Isn't it bad enough that you have to entertain the children without having to entertain and feed the adults. That trend needs to go away in a hurry.
Seriously, $500 on a 5-year-old's birthday party? I'm pretty sure I won't spend much more than that on my daughter's wedding reception. But then again, I'm cheap.
But, it will be beautiful and I'll send you the pictures to prove it.
Oh - and please don't turn into a snob. I have a hard time believing you would, but still.....
My advice would be to save as much as you can so you can retire while you're still young enough to enjoy it.
If you're going to spend on your kids, make sure you spend time over money. :-)
I think I'm feeling validated as a parent.
And I really liked the mushroom cupcakes!
okay---for real--that cake was amazing! LOVE IT! and congrats on the 87% posibility on the practice and the tenants and everything. You guys are pretty good at life. Good job!
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