Forget-Me-Nots: Even If It Kills Me and The Wind Blows Backward

 

Forget-Me-Nots is a feature on my blog for highlighting books I enjoyed in childhood and the teenage years that I don't see getting much attention nowadays.

This is a Psychtember edition of Forget-Me-Nots! Both of these books I read from my sister's shelves when I was younger (I always thought her books were better than mine, so I was constantly asking if I could borrow them.)

Even If It Kills Me by Dorothy Joan Harris

From Goodreads:

"Anorexia? But - that was a disease. I wasn't sick....I just wanted to be something special..... 

Melanie Burton is quiet and good and always get the top grades in school. But that's not enough anymore. She wants to be really special, and she thinks being thin will do it. Melanie doesn't understand what all the fuss is about - after all, almost everyone diets at some time or other. She's just very good at it. So good, she lands herself in the hospital.

Dr. Leeman seems to understand - but can she be trusted?"

I think this was probably one of the first books I read with an anorexic main character. It's been quite a while since I last read it, so I'm not that sure about the accuracy, but I do remember that Melanie shows some of the classic signs of anorexia (being cold, missing her period). She ends up hospitalized, and even then she tries for a while to resist gaining weight. It takes the help of a mental health professional — and a shocking event — before Melanie starts to want to get better. 

The Wind Blows Backward by Mary Downing Hahn

 From the back of the book:

"Lauren and Spencer were best friends in junior high, but good-looking Spencer quickly becomes a popular jock in high school with no time for quiet, bookish Lauren. Now they're in senior year, and suddenly Spencer is back in her life, sharing his fears and feelings...and his deepest secrets. But it isn't long before Lauren realizes that the boy she has fallen in love with is haunted by dark moods and reckless passions — and he is counting on her to help him survive..."

I remember seeing this book on my sister's shelves and wanting to read it, but because there is some mature content (including sexual) and I was quite young, my sister told me I'd have to wait until I was older. Well, I continued to pester her every so often ("Come on, pleeeeeeaaaaase, let me read it!") to no avail, until eventually I was old enough and she handed it over to me. So this one holds some memories for me completely unrelated to the actual story, LOL. But it is an interesting look at a relationship in which one person is depressed and potentially suicidal, subject to mercurial mood swings, and the effect this has on the other individual. 

Has anyone read either of these? What did you think?

Saving Francesca: A Psychtember Review

Patient: Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta

Presentation: Francesca is stuck at St. Sebastian's, a boys' school that pretends it's coed by giving the girls their own bathroom.  Her only female companions are an ultra-feminist, a rumored slut, and an an impossibly dorky accordion player.  The boys are no better, from Thomas who specializes in musical burping to Will, the perpetually frowning, smug moron that Francesca can't seem to stop thinking about.

Then there's Francesca's mother, who always thinks she knows what's best for Francesca—until she is suddenly stricken with acute depression, leaving Francesca lost, alone, and without an inkling who she really is.  Simultaneously humorous, poignant, and impossible to put down, this is the story of a girl who must summon the strength to save her family, her social life and—hardest of all—herself. (From Goodreads)

Assessment:   

Axis 1. Characters

Melina Marchetta nails the voice in this novel. Frankie is dryly witty, making all these observations about school life that reminded me, in a way, of Jane Austen's subtly deprecating social commentary (though obviously the style and tone are quite different). It's enjoyable to see Frankie grow through the course of the novel, learning to allow herself to just be herself. I like how she begins to appreciate all the little things in life that cheer her up.

Thomas Mackee was an oddly endearing character. He comes across as a jerk, especially at the beginning, but at the same time you want to believe he's a good guy. Occasionally he demonstrates flashes of sensitivity that keep you hoping. I wasn't as big a fan of Will, but I have to admit he does develop as a person. He behaves pretty badly towards Frankie at the start (and also, spoiler in white, highlight to read: I didn't like the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend), but eventually he realizes that he shouldn't be so structured and that he needs to shake up his life.

I had a difficult time getting a handle on the relationship between Frankie and her mom. My first impression was that there was a lot of tension going on there, and resentment from Frankie — she calls her mom "Mia" and claims she's always trying to run Frankie's life. But then when it becomes apparent her mom is clinically depressed, Frankie reacts differently than I might have expected and it seems the two of them are closer than I'd thought. I felt like I was missing a whole dimension of their relationship, and I ended up feeling disconnected from Frankie's emotions over her mother's depression for a good part of the story.

It was sweet to see Frankie's strong connection with her younger brother; there aren't enough sibling relationships like that in YA. I also loved the friendships that Frankie forges throughout the novel. The bonding that happens between four such different individuals (Frankie, Siobhan, Justine and Tara) is a treat to watch as it unfolds. Most of the characters are multi-dimensional, defying stereotype. The one I wish I could have gotten to know better was Justine, as I feel like we don't really get to see much beyond the surface of her.

Axis 2. Premise/plot

There isn't one overarching cohesive plot. The mom's depression serves as the catalyst for the story, and also keeps the momentum going to some degree, although the pacing is quite slow. It's very much a character-driven book, with Frankie discovering how to become the person she once was (and lost) and quit pretending to be someone she isn't.

Axis 3. Writing Style

I really liked the subtle humour in this novel; the tone is fresh and distinctive. Indeed, I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions as I read. The Italian influence in the book also really gave it character; the inter-generational family provided a lively cast, and the occasional Italian words made it feel more authentic.

The dialogue is real and clever, flavourful and unique. The guys sound like teenage guys you might know in your own life: frequently obnoxious, and occasionally sweet in their own way.

We see Frankie's life through snippets, rather than one continuous narrative. I didn't mind this for the most part, as it seemed to fit Frankie's way of viewing the world. However, I did sometimes feel like I got told things when I wanted to see them instead. This was particularly the case for the mother's depression, its effect on the family, and Frankie's interactions with her mother. We get to be privy to so many interactions with Frankie's friends and acquaintances from school, but I wanted to see more of the family life. Later on, after her mother has been depressed for a while, the impact does become more apparent, particularly in how Frankie's dad changes.

Axis 4. Psychological Accuracy

We don't get to see that much of her mother Mia's symptoms, but several of the ones we do see are indicative of a major depressive episode. She's lost her appetite, has no energy — to the point where she can't get out of bed — and just generally seems to have acquired a different personality overnight. This behaviour continues for months, so she definitely meets the 2-week criterion for a major depressive episode.

There were a couple of Mia's symptoms I was less sure about. One was that she often vomits in the morning, which as far as I'm aware is not a typical symptom of depression. The other is that she seems to have enough energy to converse with Jimmy, but not so much with her own daughter. I can see that she would likely try harder to appear "normal" around a stranger, but it seems convenient that she is always up for a chat with him. Depression usually isn't quite that flexible, from what I understand. But I did enjoy seeing how Jimmy helps her mom by being someone she can talk to who isn't a member of her family, someone who doesn't inherently make her feel guilty about her depression and the toll it's taking on her loved ones.

I have to admit, it frustrated me that Mia is never taken to a mental health professional. As my education in psychology placed a strong emphasis on evidence-based treatment, I dearly wanted to sit down and have a long chat with Frankie's dad about anti-depressants. His dismissive attitude, while understandable to a certain extent, would not be helpful in a discussion about treatment options. And medication aside, psychotherapy has also been shown effective in treating many cases of depression. Spoiler about the ending: while I do think it was very healthy for Mia to finally talk about the miscarriage, and could certainly signify a turning point, I thought her recovery was a bit quick for reality. And personally, I would have recommended she seek professional help. After all, even though she is able to pull herself out of this episode independently, there is still the possibility she may have a tendency to depression and experience it again in the future.

I appreciated that the stigma of having a family member with a mental health problem is addressed. Frankie calls up some of her mom's friends/acquaintances at one point, telling them that Mia's depressed, and they all interpret it in different ways — but all incorrectly. I'd say there's greater awareness of depression than there used to be, and it's more openly acknowledged, but I think the casual use of the word can cause confusion when the clinical definition is actually intended. I was surprised that Frankie and her family took so long to arrive at the conclusion that her mom is depressed, given that it's quite common these days. Generally speaking, the stigma is not as bad as it once was, and certainly not as negative as the attitudes towards some other mental disorders (such as schizophrenia or even bipolar disorder). That said, of course, it depends a lot on the individual and the community, and I can certainly understand Frankie's reluctance to admit her mother's depression to others, and even to herself at first.   

Frankie also exhibits some symptoms of depression — she's often tired and sad — but it's never stated that she herself is clinically depressed. I'd venture that perhaps what she has is dysthymia — its symptoms are not as extreme as major depression, but it involves a chronically low mood. Francesca herself at one point realizes that her lack of happiness has been going on for a while now, since before her mom's problems started.

Validity Score: How psychologically accurate was Saving Francesca?

Axis 5. Miscellaneous

I always like it when a beginning and end mirror each other, and it was no exception with Saving Francesca. It makes sense that since it started with her mother, it should end the same way.

Patient's statement:

I try to find music that belongs to me, but I realise that Mia's music has become mine. Mia's everything has consumed our lives and now Mia's nothing is consuming us as well.

After we play our music, we get ready for school, going through the motions, getting on with our lives.

And then the worst thing happens.

I get used to it.

Diagnosis: 4 shooting stars. Given my fondness for Thomas Mackee, I'm definitely looking forward to reading his story in The Piper's Son!

And before I sign off, I thought I'd share a few interesting facts about depression (taken from my university Abnormal Psychology textbook):

           Did You Know?

• An individual with depression may sometimes exhibit anhedonia — a loss of pleasure/interest in daily activities — rather than a depressed mood
• Completely different symptoms can accompany depression, depending on the type. For instance:
• Weight loss or weight gain
• Sleeping too much (hypersomnia) or too little (insomnia)
• Psychosis (hallucinations and/or delusions) appears with some major depressive episodes

For more information on depression, go here.

Guest Post: Depression and YA Lit

Ashley from Books from Bleh to Basically Amazing is dropping by today to discuss depression in YA! Here's her guest post:

Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses. Different sources will give you different numbers on how common it actually is, but it's something that more people face than most realize. I am by no means an expert on either Depression or Depression in YA, but I wanted to talk about it briefly, get some thoughts and some discussion going.

Depression in YA is more common than I think most people realize. While there are some books out there that are openly about depression, like It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini, where the main character spends time in a psychiatric ward when his depression makes him contemplate suicide. Or other books, like Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta, and Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu, where a character (not the main) sinks so far into depression they are unable to leave their beds.

But in other instances, depression is a very strong reality for the characters, often the main characters, even if it's never openly identified as such. Like in Saving Francesca. Her mother's depression hits Francesca really hard and if you watch her closely, you can see that although not as severe as her mother's Francesca is depressed as well. Tom from Marchetta's The Piper's Son, Parker from Courtney Summers Cracked Up to Be, Tyler from Laurie Halse Anderson's Twisted, Melinda from Speak all exhibit symptoms of depression. You can make cases for or against most of these characters and many, many others who suffer from depression. When writing about high school, depression is something that often naturally comes through in characters, whether it is ever labeled or not.

Depression is such a real thing, and it affects so very many people. Whether it's been diagnosed or treated or not, odds are that someone you know suffers from depression. It can stem from or manifest itself as guilt, low self-worth, feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, and it often also comes with a change in physical behavior, be it sleep or eating habits, or activity levels. Its effect can range from mild to severe and it affects everyone differently.

I feel like lately, there have been more novels dealing with 'symptoms' of depression released, even if not all of them address the depression itself (for example, Thirteen Reasons Why, Scars, and Ballads of Suburbia). This does not mean these books are wrong or not worth reading, since things like suicide or cutting very often stem from depression. But it doesn't always have a physical manifestation. Very often, it's something that locks a person inside themselves. I've known people close to me who have suffered from depression, and some of them mask it well enough that people don't see it. It's so easy to overlook a teenager with depression. Teens are supposed to be moody and standoffish toward adults, so when they are, it's no surprise. But depression goes far beyond typical teen angst. It's something works its way inside you and sinks in.

So many people view depression as sadness. And while being sad is certainly a part of depression, it is not the same thing. Someone mourning the death of a loved one isn't automatically depressed. They are grief stricken. It might become depression, but it's not the same thing. Depression is something deeper than sadness. And it's something that is really hard to pin down, because so many people experience so many different things while depressed.

It's something that's very real, very painful and can be very scary. It's also something I wish people would be more educated on. It's not something that just 'goes away' or can be easily 'gotten over'. It's an illness. We don't tell someone with a broken leg to suck it up and walk anyway, so why on earth are we telling people with mental illness to just get better? Perhaps, the more books are written about it, and the more people who read them, the more knowledgeable and tolerant we will become. And I can't see that as a bad thing.

Ashley has been fascinated by the mind since before she can remember and decided long before college that Psychology would be her field of study. She received a BS in Psychology and is currently deciding where it should take her next. Ashley would like it to be made clear that she is not an expert in the field, and that the thoughts and feelings expressed are hers derived from both academic and personal study and experience.  


Thanks, Ashley, for sharing your insights on this topic! 

Readers — have you read YA books in which the protagonist, or a side character, experiences depression? What did you think about how it was shown?