Our Trip to New York Last Friday in Photos

The kids didn't have school last Friday, so we went to visit Emily in New York City. By we I mean me and the kids. I don't know if I have mentioned this earlier, but Nikolay is not very adventurous and really doesn't like NYC. So, I took advantage of his not being with us and ventured a ferry ride from Staten Island. It only costs $5.50 to park at the ferry station for the whole day, and the ferry goes right by the Statue of Liberty. Unfortunately the windows of the ferry are so dirty that it is impossible to photograph the Statue of Liberty through them. Next time maybe I'll try to get one from the part that is not enclosed. Anyway, the first adventure on our trip was trying to pay for our parking spot. They have these little machines that can take either quarters or credit cards supposedly. I was having troubles with the credit card function and I only had 16 quarters with me not the needed 22. A friendly looking man walked up to use the machine next to mine and I asked him if he had ever used them before. He also had troubles, but on his 4th attempt he got it to work. He went to meet up with his wife but said he would come back and check on me. When he returned I was still at it, trying to get the silly machine to take any of my cards. He was so nice, commenting on how he remembers having 4 young children and asking us about what are plans were in the city. I was about to give up and he offered to just use his card and pay for it. I was so relieved and embarrassed at the same time, till it dawned on me that I could pay him back with a five dollar bill and two quarters, which he accepted after a little insistence on my part. I am so thankful for his kindness.

This was our second encounter with a friendly stranger. This time it was an older guy decked out in a military uniform, he offered to take our picture at the ferry station while we were waiting for the ferry.



The ferry ride was great. Dallin liked to stand by the window and watch the little tug boats and barges. He would point to the little tug boats and exclaim "Boat!" If only he could comprehend that he was on a much larger boat himself.
Emily was kind enough to meet us on the other side at the ferry station and help us navigate the subway. I don't think I could have done it without her with four kids having never done it before. Maybe I could now. Our destination was the huge FOA Schwartz toy store (remember the giant piano in the movie BIG?). When we came out of the subway we were right at the edge of Central Park looking down, over the concrete wall and the view was glorious, the huge trees and trails and bridges. As we walked down the sidewalk there was a row of about 15 horse drawn carriages, each of the drivers trying to entice us to take a ride, disregarding the fact that we had already turned down the previous 5 drivers. They reminded me of the persistent "taxi" drivers in Kiev, I put taxi in quotations because any car can be a taxi in Ukraine. The horses were right there in-your-face and the kids were like, "Horses! Mom why are there horses here? Why does that horse have only one eye? What are those thingies they are wearing?" Emily pointed out the Plaza Hotel from Eloise. The carriage drivers informed us that the Jonas brothers were here. I didn't think much of it because we aren't exactly fans but we had to pass right by them doing a live spot for CBS on our way to FOA Schwartz. We lifted Ariel up so she could see the tops of their heads and she was excited to be able to tell all of her friends that she saw them.
I took this sneaky picture of Emily and Ariel listening to a story. We caught the tail end of story time at the toy store with a really cool storyteller and her guitar, singing cool kids songs that I had never heard of. (could I have said "cool" or "story" any more times in the last few sentences?) There was this crazy lady there with her 6 month old who kept interrupting to try to make small talk with the kids. She was wearing black leggings and heels with tons of jewelry and runway ready hair. She looked very much like someone who had a baby just because her biological clock was ticking, but now doesn't know what to do with herself. Oh, am I being judgmental? Sorry. I really do wish her the best in the adventure called motherhood, but just let the storyteller get on with the story lady! But seriously, I remember when we first moved to Salt Lake and Ariel was still too little to get anything out of story time, I would faithfully go, just to be around other moms even if I was too shy or had too many complexes to actually talk to anyone and try to make friends, and I was so desperately lonely that tears would actually come to my eyes as I watched everyone interact with so much joy. If you have ever been to the fabulous story time at the downtown library in Salt Lake, you know the "Shake shake, shake your wiggles out!" song? It still brings tears to my eyes. Anyway, back to New York....

This is the best shot I got of all three girls on the giant piano. Maybe Emily got a better one. It was just as much fun as it is cracked up to be. Today while we were looking at the pictures Ariel asked me how much it cost to play that piano. When she found out it was free she was surprised. Free was one of the reasons that we chose to go to FOA Schwartz, so much to do, for free! We did buy some cool toys though. They are animals that you can take apart and then put the appendages on other animals. We got the African set: a lion, a giraffe, and a gorilla. They are so much fun that I want to get another set. Maybe dinosaurs or insects.
Here is Adriana standing with a giant lego sculpture of Chubaka the Wookie from Star Wars. I was a little disappointed that amongst all the legos they had, there were no pink ones. I should have bought a set when we went to Legoland in California last year.
Jacob met up with us on our way back to the ferry at McDonald's (that was just due to poor planning on my part that we didn't meet at any place more significant.) We made it home exhausted and safe. It was great to be with Emily. She is so much fun to talk to and is so great with the kids. It would actually be easier to go on a trip or something with her than with my dear husband, just because so many things are just intuitive with her, plus the kids adore her, well they love their dad too, but you don't have to explain everything to her like you do my eternal satellite. (that is what we used to call spouses as a joke on my mission because in some church literature we read vechni sputink which translates literally to eternal satellite, but probably is supposed to mean eternal companion. It is no wonder that at my wedding dance I wanted the Dave Matthew's Band's song "Satellite" played.)

Here is one last picture, but not from the New York trip. It is from when I went to the kindergarten Valentine's dance with Adriana last week. Isn't she a cute date?

Parenting books

Have I ever mentioned how much I love reading parenting books? Good ones contain pearls of wisdom that can only be appreciated after having struggled with kids. Like anything worth having, struggling to be a good parent and raise your kids better than you thought you could, is something I have to be constantly working at. When I first found out that other parents deal with the same problems that I deal with, it was so relieving, like a weight was being lifted, but even better, was finding out that some of the things I was doing as a parent but feeling guilty about were actually the right things and I could stop feeling guilty (like following through with well deserved punishments). I just started reading a book that was written for Primary teachers, but the concepts obviously apply to parenting as well. It is called "Stop Struggling, Start Teaching," and on the fourth page it had a really great quote that just connected with me in so many ways, I wanted to write about it here.

"Discipleship requires all of us to translate doctrines, covenants, ordinances, and teachings into improved personal behavior. Otherwise we may be doctrinally rich but end up developmentally poor." --Neal A. Maxwell.


I love the cognitive responsibility he lays on us. Knowing all about the Gospel will be of trivial value to us, if it doesn't actually change what we do, and how we treat each other. For some it may come more naturally to be kind, loving, forgiving, as well as consistent, and even keeled, but for me I really have to work at it. As I am looking for intellectual challenges (not only to stave of Alzheimer's and depression), I should probably look beyond getting to the next level of Webkinz games and really try to "translate doctrines, covenants, ordinances, and teachings into improved personal behavior," which would entail identifying my weaknesses (yikes) and setting goals to make baby steps towards improvement.

In the spirit of all good twelve step programs I am going to publicly write my goals out here to keep myself more accountable for them: I am going to try to love my kids more, by praying to be filled with love for them like I did with my investigators on my mission.
I am not saying that I don't love my kids (as you well know) but I believe that I will be better (more cognizant and aware and engaged) at (correctly) disciplining them if I am actively trying to love them.

If you are interested, my other two favorite parenting books are "1,2,3 Magic" and "How to Behave so your Kids will too!"

Snowy Photos From February 1

List of buses

I got this idea from my SIL Emily. She also made a list of buses that she has ridden in her life. I think that the idea appealed to me because you ride a bus for a reason, and that is a commentary in itself on what you were doing in your life, and also because there are so many different kind of buses.

• The first bus I remember riding was the pool bus. When we lived in Hudson, Iowa, (1977-1987) we rode a school bus from our elementary school to the closest pool in Dike in the summer. Those were great times. We would bring money with us to buy candy and pop at the concessions stand, favorites were Bottle Caps, and Laffy Taffy. I remember laying our beach towels out on the cement and "tanning." And getting enough courage to jump off the diving board. It seems like all of the kids from the whole small town of Hudson went. There is a snapshot somewhere of all of my siblings (well maybe not Jacob, he was a baby) standing around waiting for the bus.
  
• When we moved to Minnesota, I took the bus to school for the first time. I remember standing at the bus stop and the conversations we had with the other kids. Specifically I remember a conversation about how the kids in my family took showers at night before we went to bed and how one kid thought that was gross because he always showered in the morning. Funny things you remember. Then in junior high, I remember the boys on the bus were really gross, always telling dirty jokes and making fun of people. If I ever find out that my kids are in that kind of environment, I'll do anything I can to avoid it like drive them. Or maybe it is unavoidable, but you are so confined on a bus. You have to make so many decisions like who to sit by, what to talk about. What to react to.
  
• I rode the "activity bus" home in high school because I got my license late, but always stayed after for extra-extracurriculars. There were usually just a couple other kids on it and usually just did my homework. I have a lot of memories from riding the bus to away games, from our coach giving us pep talks, to making flashcards, eating apples, and the dilemma of what shoes to wear that would look OK with warm up pants because the game shoes were only for the court, and trying to get all of my crazy hair into a ponytail, and not feeling comfortable enough or confident enough to know who would want me to sit with them. One of the hardest parts socially, was having different values than most people, like if "they" are all talking about drinking and naughty boys, how do I even fit in? As a parent this is something that is hard for me too, thinking about my kids growing up and making friends because I realize the value of having close personal relationships, but it is hard to find friends who share common values.
  
• Some of the best bus rides were on our 8-hour youth trips to the Chicago Temple. It was like a party on wheels. We rode those charter buses that have toilets in the back. We played paper games, told our deepest secrets, massaged each other in a long chain, shared earphones from walkmen, shared faith building experiences, flirted with all the good Mormon boys, painted our nails, ate tons of junk food, got to know our leaders really well.
  
• My senior year I went to the UofM instead of high school and I wasn't driving yet, so I took the city buses. It was really liberating and helped me define myself, to be out in the world. Lots of men from all different ages and backgrounds approached me on those buses, which was mostly just flattering and fun, but sometimes scary. I wore clunky green suede lace up shoes that were like "grunge". Do you remember that fashion era, . . .Grunge? Do you remember that girls' shirts were not form fitting like they are now? And that over-sized plaid shirts and baggy pants were all the rage? (I'm talking 1994)
  
• There were the on-campus shuttles at the UofM too, which were small out-dated buses, but more exhilarating because there were all kinds of handsome college guys riding them (who didn't know that I didn't know how to relate to my teammates, or didn't know which shoes to wear or fought with my parents) and sophisticated looking intellectuals and hippy chicks (at least that is how I categorized them in my head).
• Then when I went out to BYU I rode the bus up to Salt Lake a couple times, but that's about it.
• In Korea, the buses were crowded, like human sardines, but modern, and everyone was dressed nicely and all the women smelled like rose water, and it was extremely humid (I was only there for three months in the summer) and most people fanned themselves with those little hand held wooden fans.
  
• On my mission the buses were circa 1950, crowded, with Russian accordion accompanied ballads blaring over the speakers, and had velvet curtains with fringe. The drivers had collections of gaudy gilded framed ikonka, (holy pictures of saints who protect them). Everyone got pushed around, or told where to sit or stand and you had to hold on tight, cuz someone was trying to hold on to you, and trying to shield myself with my messenger bag. Young men would read our name tags and say, "Hey sister, where is your brother?" And I got to know really well the smell of alcohol on your neighbors breath, because that is what you are breathing in. And wondering how far the babushki with the heavy buckets of potatoes had to walk after they got off.
  
• After that I haven't really ridden buses much. Having kids makes it harder to do, although I have a few times.
  

Life Lessons from Jane Austen's Persuasion

The reason that I love Jane Austen novels and films made from the novels is that she so accurately depicts human nature. A few weeks ago I found myself at the library without my long list of books to read but knew that I was desperate for something good to read, and I knew Miss Austen would not let me down. I decided on Persuasion because I had not yet read it and because I thoroughly enjoyed 2 different film adaptations of it. My two favorite parts are both in the second volume, so the first volume was a little work to get through, knowing how exciting the ending was going to be, but maybe that it had to be that way so the ending would be as exciting.
My first favorite part is at the concert when they finally talk again after eight and a half years and Anne learns that he really doesn't/didn't have feelings for Louisa and that it was that easy for them to fall into an easy conversation and that despite the noise in the room they can still communicate intimately. I love the subtlety of their conversation. His leaving in a fit of jealousy and her realizing it, first relishing it then realizing the danger of him not knowing her true feelings for him only intensifies the reader's desire to read on.
My other favorite part is when he is sitting writing a letter and she is talking to his friend about the differences in the natures of men and women, and he is actually writing a letter to her expressing is love to her. I just love it. I love how they can't talk of their feelings directly to each other so they have to orchestrate a way to say what they mean to say, like how he brought up his friend Benwick's loosing his wife to say,"A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman!" meaning, "I will never get over you. My feelings for you will never change!" And Anne when she is talking with Captain Harville at the window answers him by saying that Fanny Harville, Benwick's deceased wife, never would have forgotten him so soon, because it is not in the nature of a woman, telling Wentworth that, "I will never get over you either!" And she goes further to illustrate that she has actually suffered more than him making grand generalizations about the nature of men and women. All of which leads Wentworth to declare his never ending love in a letter thus opening the lines of communications and allowing her an opportunity to respond openly.

I think the life lesson to learn is to be true to your heart. If she had not been persuaded to turn him down eight and an half years ago, because of his station, and had been true to her heart, she could have avoided a lot of misery for them both. Another lesson is don't try to advise other people who to fall in love with or who to marry, because you will never know the other person's heart. I remember my mom saying something similar when Rebekah first got engaged. She said that she would neither say that she liked nor disliked the person her child was going to marry because if she said she didn't like them and it was actually the person they were supposed to marry, she wouldn't want to have ruined that and on the flip side, she didn't want to say that she liked the person so her child would feel any pressure to marry the person if they were having second thoughts.

Lists

I am inspired by my SIL Emily to make some lists. Today is a list about topics I would like to write about in the future.

• Memories of my childhood.
• How I formed my identity in elementary, junior high, high school, college.
• Priorities
• what I think every kid needs
• how to adapt to kids' differing needs
• new year's resolutions/new leaves I am turning over (making an effort to meet new people and make friends, eating more vegetables, intellectual pursuits, home decor)
• life insights from the book Persuasion
• inspiration from pictures on people's walls
• memories of buses (like Emily)
• my oops, I mean our love story
  

The story of how I tried to take cute pictures of Annika on a winter day when the sun finally came out

So the story starts one day last week after an extremely cold and gray day, the sun decides to come out and warm everything up, and it is almost time to go pick Ariel up from school, and Annika is looking so cute in her favorite outfit, and the sky is finally blue, and we have a few moments, so I venture to take a cute picture of her. I just wanted one. Really.
The night before after dance we had hastily built this pathetic snowman, just to check it off our list of winter activities, but hadn't had time to put a nose on it, so I thought it would be cute to get a picture of Annika putting a nose on, only she wanted to use the small kind of carrots...for eyes, oh, and I didn't realize until later that the sun was behind me casting my shadow right on her, and ruining the otherwise cute picture.
So I tried from the other side, but then the car was in the picture....so I gave up on the snowman, the eyes weren't sticking anyway because overnight everything got coated in a thin layer of ice.
And I tried to get her to look up and smile at the same time, which is really hard for her.




So, she looks at the camera, smiling, but the wind blows her hair in her face.



We move into the sunshine and the lighting looks great, but she wants to stand all goofy and won't open her eyes, maybe its the sun. Did I mention that we were in such a rush to get out and take theses pictures before getting in the car that I just took her ponytail out and didn't bother to part her hair nicely. Poor neglected child.

At one point she tried to walk away from the whole ordeal. But then it was time to go get Ariel from school.
And Ariel thought she would teach her a thing or two about posing for the camera.





I got to the point where I set the camera to just keep taking pictures while I pushed the button hoping that I might catch her looking up, and I unconsciously kept taking pictures while I was trying to set her hair straight and I actually really like how this one turned out and how you can see my motherly fingers, brushing her hair back.

Here she is trying really hard to smile really cute.....but she just can't seem to open her eyes.

Finally she decided to look at the camera, and the light was good, but she had to give me this, "Ok, Mom, if I really have to here is a smile for you" look. And she bent forward all goofy. So that is the story of how I tried to capture the beauty of my third daughter on one winter day when the sun finally came out.

My Goofy kids

This was one of those, "Mom! Come take a picture of us!" moments. I wanted to write down some of the funny things I have heard them say lately.

Annika asked, "Mom, do candy canes wear tights?"
I didn't know how to answer it at first but then, after some follow up questions surmised that she wanted to be a candy cane, in other words, wear her red and white striped dress, and had to know if candy canes wore tights because our rule for her changing her clothes 20 times a day is that in the winter she has to have her legs and arms covered--either in pants or tights and long sleeves or sweaters. Later when I was trying to get her to put a long sleeve shirt on under her short sleeved dress she said, "But mom, candy canes wear sweaters, not long sleeve shirts."

As we were driving home from dance class I was trying to listen to the news, but Ariel had an urgent question. She wanted to know if giraffes gave birth the same way humans do. She doesn't believe me that such a large baby giraffe could really fit that way. I'm going to have to find her a nature video or something. Maybe horses giving birth would suffice, not to mention elephants.

Game night

When Nikolay and I were engaged I had this vision of what our future life would be like. I had an image of he and I standing together in a vast field with our children running and laughing in front of us. The sun was shinning and we were so happy together. This summer after we moved to Pennsylvania, we really enjoyed going to different parks together and there were a few moments that made me think "This is it, my dream come true." Last Sunday night we were playing games together (Chutes and Ladders and Uno) and the thought came to my head again, "This is what I always wanted, a happy family of my own."






The reason that I mentioned Chutes and Ladders and Uno, is that, that is about as exciting as it gets, well we do play Candyland, and thanks to Rebekah we have some interesting games like Slamwich and Mystery Garden, but I am acutely aware of our family's need for some new exciting games. Do you have any suggestions?