The Story about how Ariel got sick and after a lot of poking, got better

This is one of the few pictures I have from that first hospital stay after her diagnosis. My late sister Sarah flew out from Wisconsin to help out. Ariel was so excited to see her, and she really made a difference, joking and playing with Ariel while I got a chance to shower and eat something. By the way, if you ever have a friend who has a child in the hospital, the best thing to bring them is real food. It was my life-saver. In the first 48 hours the only thing I ate was crackers and bananas, until some really thoughtful friends brought me some great food. I hadn't even thought about food, being so overwhelmed by the diagnosis and all the procedures. Maybe I should start at the beginning.
I think it started in early October of 2005. My parents had come out from Wisconsin to visit and we drove down to Castle Dale to visit my grandma. While we were there Ariel got a fever. It went away and we never figure out why. Then at night her legs started aching so bad that she would wake up screaming from the pain. We just thought it was growing pains. Then Annika was born on October 18th. Soon after I came home from the hospital with Annika, Ariel started getting fevers again. They would come and go. Then she started feeling really miserable and looking really pale. I took her in to the doctors on a Tuesday and the pediatrician thought that it was probably strep throat. That didn't sound right to me, but he said that it can take up to 48 hours for a something to grow out of a strep culture. He said that if nothing showed up after 2 days than we might have to have some blood work done. At the time, that sounded really bad, and in my gut I felt like, this is not strep, lets get the blood work done right now because she was fading from me before my eyes. Everyday she was getting weaker. Her best friend had stopped by and she couldn't even get up off the couch to say hi to her. That was strange. But that was all before I knew that I should listen to my gut and demand the medical service that I believe she needs. So, after two days, we were sent to the outpatient lab to have her blood drawn. We stopped by McDonald's on the way home because I had promised her a Happy Meal if she let them draw the blood. Little did I know that it was only the first poke of hundreds to follow in the next few years. By the time we got back home, the lab already had the results and had the pediatrician call me at home to tell me over the phone that my daughter had Leukemia and that we needed to get back in the car and come back to the hospital ASAP.
I called my next door neighboor to tell her that we wouldn't be needing meals from the Relief Society any more (they were brining them because Annika was just born days before). She came over to help and I don't know what I would have done without her. I was running around the house trying to pack and making phone calls to Nikolay at work and my friend Olga who took Adriana and Annika. My neighbor actually drove us to the hospital in our car because I was such a wreck. Then she drove Nikolay's car home for us.We took this picture the day after she came home from the hospital the first time. I wanted to take our Christmas pictures while she still had hair.

To make a long story short, Ariel's treatment lasted 2 1/2 years. She had ALL and reached remission after the first month of treatment. For the first few months we went to the hospital once a week, and even more than that because other things would come up like her having allergic reactions to the chemotherapy and getting sick. Her immune system was really low for about the first two years, till one doctor recommended her switching from one preventative medicine to another, then her counts were only down right after her chemo and would come back up. We had a few hospital stays with neutropenia and we almost lost her a few times. And a few surgeries for placing her central line, removing her central line and placing a port and removing the port. So, she has 3 scars on her chest as a souvenir. There were lots of terrible side effects, but I can't complain now because she is healthy and a survivor!
One of the hard parts that taught me a lot more compassion was transitioning from normal life to hospital life and back again. There were times when we would come home from staying in the hospital, or a night in the ER, thankful that she was alive and someone would call me to ask about something trivial (which is almost everything compared to saving your child's life, again) and I wouldn't know how to react, like can't I just go to sleep and get back to the real world when I'm ready. It was hard for her friends and our friends and family to understand that yes, she is feeling fine today, but she really wasn't yesterday, and who knows what is going to happen tomorrow.
There were so many blessings and miracles along the way and so many people really reached out and helped us. We really felt loved and supported along the way. But we are so glad that it is over. I could write a lot more about some of the specifics of our different hospital adventures, and maybe I will in later posts.

When she was finally able to leave the house, we went to the zoo. You can see how chubby the steriods made her face.

This is a cute shot of my cute bald girl. It didn't seem to bother her a lot and she would take her hat off in public a lot to get a reaction out of people.

On another note, we are leaving tomorrow to visit the Miners in MA, and are so excited, so this concludes my November NaBloPoMo challenge. See you in December!

Library Card

Well, I didn't mean for the picture to be quite this huge, but I wanted the words on her sticker and on her card to be visible, and it is too late at night for me to spend much more time to go back and fix it. Today is a historic day. Adriana got her first library card. She wanted to get one this summer when Ariel did, but their requirement is that you have to be able to write your first and last name in a small space. She has been practicing a lot lately, and she finally did it today.
Today I am grateful for public libraries.
Sorry to have written an incomplete story yesterday, tomorrow I will post about Ariel's diagnosis and treatment.

Dial Pure and Natural Hand Soap

Have you ever heard about how the sense of smell has the strongest connection to memory? Like there are certain scents that just bring me back to my grandparents house, or if I smell someone wearing my grandpa's cologne I feel like he is hugging me. Well, tonight my liquid hand soap pump just ran out, so a grabbed a sliver of an old bar of soap that has been occupying an untouched soap dish for a few months now, and it transported me to a different time and place (who needs time machines anyway?). The soap was actually from the hotel that we stayed in when we went house hunting here and we used it for a few days before we got everything unpacked, but it was Dial Pure and Natural, and that is the same soap, but in liquid form that was in the hospital room where I lived with Ariel and newborn baby Annika for the scariest 5 days of my life. So, when I smelled it tonight a flood of memories came back to me, the uncertainty of everything and my world being turned upside down, and the realization that no matter how carefully you plan your life, you are not really in charge. All of the syringes and calm nurses and beeping and tubes, and craft projects, and the headaches from crying and not sleeping enough. But that was three years ago, and now she is just fine. I learned a lot more about medicine that I ever wanted to and discovered how to talk to doctors and how to advocate for my daughter, and how to be a good patient. I guess some of the most important life lessons are ones we don't sign up for.

So, I tried continuing the conversation with Ariel some more today and asked her what some other reasons that Heavenly Father gave us talents and she said so that we can develop them and be instruments in His hands to bless other people. She was a little unsure and confident at the same time as she put that all together, but it made me think,"Wow, she is really making connections with what we talk about during our scripture study." My next thought, so is me pushing this conversation unnecessary because she already knows all the answers, but then I came to the conclusion that it is important for at least two reasons 1) For her to actually vocalize these thoughts and feel good about having an answer and 2) it is a positive conversation between us.
Maybe it makes up for when I am too hard on her. Like today when she wrote her letter to Santa and had me read it, my initial reaction was not positive. She wrote "Dear Santa, I want a . . . " And I told her that she shouldn't start out a letter with "I want," it's not polite and she should start by thanking him for last year's present and asking how he is or how Mrs. Claus is or ask about his reindeer. Well, that crushed her, and I regret it. I should have shown my approval first and then gotten into the lesson about being polite. She did rewrite it and at the end she wrote "but if you don't want to bring me that, its ok, I just won't have a Christmas present." Oh, so sad.
Like the title of this blog Another Year Wiser, I hope to get a little wiser with each of my parenting missteps and hope that we all survive this adventure for the better.

Go Girls!

I have had girls on my mind lately. Specifically how to raise girls to have confidence and a good relationship with their parents and pride in their accomplishments and a positive sense of self and aspirations for the future. I am acutely aware of the mistakes I want to avoid with my daughters. All of this was on my mind when I picked Ariel up from school. We had 20 minutes to wait in the car at Adriana's bus stop and Annika and Dallin had fallen asleep, so I took the opportunity to chat. I wanted to start a conversation to get her thinking about her strengths. First I asked her about her favorite subject and it was hands down reading. She has discovered chapter books and reading for pleasure. I tried a different angle to start the conversation.
"Ariel do you know what talents are?"
"Uh, yeah," Her intonation was like, "Duh Mom, I'm not a baby."
"Well, who gave us our talents?"
"G-O-D, and Jesus," She is really into spelling things lately.
"Do you know why Heavenly Father and Jesus gave us talents?"
"So we could feel special," Now, that one made me think a bit.
"What would happen if someone didn't feel special?"
"They would be sad."
"And then what?"
"They would die."
"So people die if they don't feel special?"
"No, just kidding."
She may have been kidding, but there is something to it. Tomorrow I want to continue the conversation but explore other reasons why we are given talents (maybe to bless others' lives, or to become a better person), and help her identify some of hers. Lately I feel like most of the time I am telling her what not to do, or what to do, and I feel like she is getting just a lot of negative vibes from me, so I want to start replacing those with some positive ones.
I like that idea of replacing the bad for the good. On my mission when we were asking our investigators to start living new commandments like keeping the Sabbath day holy or paying tithing, or keeping the Word of Wisdom or the Law of chastity, they were most successful if they could replace old habits with new habits so that they didn't fall back into old ways. Whenever we taught about the Word of Wisdom, we always brought herbal tea with us because tea is such an integral part of the Ukranian diet. One lady actually said, "If you don't drink tea, what do you drink?" Uh, water.
Anyway, my point is that I want to build positive relationships with my daughters and teach them to turn to the Lord, because I think that is their only hope for surviving the adolescent and young adult years.

Here is an unrelated picture that makes me smile. Sometimes I wonder if I would be a lot worse mom if my kids weren't so cute. It is one of those survival of the fittest things right, that the young have to be cute so the adults don't throw them out because they can't fend for themselves.Just look at those toes!

My In-Laws

Pictured here are : my father-in-law with his step-son, me with Adraina as an infant, Nikolay with Ariel, and my mother-in-law. This picture was taken in 2003.
I'll start with my father-in-law first, since I know him least. I met him I think twice before we got married and then saw him again a few times when we went back to visit in Ukraine in 2003. He is now married to his 3rd wife and does remodeling work. He is not religious. Don't know what else to say about him.
My mother-in-law on the other hand I know rather well. She is affectionately known in our house as Grandma Svetlana, or Babushka. She loves her grandkids and is always spoiling them. When we lived in Salt Lake she would come to our house every Friday after work to babysit so that Nikolay and I could go out. It was great. She attends the Russian Branch in Salt Lake and is always ready to bear her strong testimony. She is very thoughtful, and considerate of other people and is always ready for a new adventure. She especially likes to try new "exotic" food.
She was able to come to the US for the first time, for our wedding, and got to go to the temple for the first time. She stayed with us for two months after we were married and then went back to Ukraine. When we went back to visit in 2003, we helped her get a visa and she came to visit again. Nikolay became a citizen while she was visiting, and so we convinced her to stay and apply for a "green card." It was a tough decision for her, but she is glad that she stayed. She works for the Church (as a seamstress) and has her own apartment in a building full of Russian immigrants, so she feels pretty comfortable and has plenty of friends. She is deathly afraid of learning how to drive a car, so she is lucky that the Russian Branch meets within walking distance, just behind the Conference Center. The plan is that after we get settled here and buy a house she will move out here too, but I am afraid that it will be a really tough adjustment for her. We'll see!

Christmas Traditions

I don't think any of our Christmas traditions are very unique, but they are ours. We always make a gingerbread house, not on any certain day, but sometime before Christmas. On Christmas Eve before we go to bed, we sing some Christmas carols together and read the Nativity story from the Bible and act it out. The past few years we have also watched it on DVD. Then the kids get to open one present. This was a tradition in my family growing up. We leave out milk and cookies for Santa by the fireplace where the stockings are hanging. In the morning we enter the family room together and everyone finds their stocking and present from Santa on one of the couches. This is also carried over from my childhood. After everyone has looked at everything in their stocking we start opening presents from under the tree. We start with the youngest and go to the oldest opening presents one by one taking turns and playing with new toys in between. Nikolay goes out to but things for my stocking usually the night before and for the past few years I have asked him to pick up some more candy from the store for the kids, and he has come back with some funny stuff. Like, he knows that I like gum, so one year he bought a huge assortment including some weird energy gum and vitamin gum. And he got one pack of gummy worms two years ago, and that is not something you can divide between 3 kids (at the time) very well, so we just put it in Adriana's. It was a huge hit and she shared with everyone and for the whole year she talked about how Santa brought her gummy worms, so he brought her more the next year, maybe it will be a new tradition now. Another tradition that we have is giving each of our kids a unique Christmas tree ornament each year. I'm not sure if it is a tradition, but Grandma Svetlana always spends the night on Christmas Eve and this year she is flying out from Utah to be with us for Christmas too. For a few years we went Christmas caroling on Christmas Eve like I used to growing up, but haven't been able to for the past 3 years due to Ariel being sick. Maybe we'll start that tradition again. In our extended family for a few years all of us sisters exchanged Christmas ornaments, but that has kinda died out. All of the cousins do a gift exchange, which is fun. Traditionally we take a family picture and send it out with Christmas cards. I would like to start an advent calendar, but i am not up to making one for this Christmas. Maybe next year.
Update: after reading Jessica's comment, I remembered another tradition that we just started last year. Some friends of ours had a Christmas Mouse that visited their house from the beginning of December up until Christmas Day to make sure the kids were being good and report back to Santa. His name was Cheddar. A different Christmas mouse magically appeared at our house shortly after that. His name was Monterey Jack, but in a not he asked us to call him Jack for short. He came in a little Christmas tin shaped like a house and the girls would leave notes for him. Every morning he would be hiding in a new spot, always out of reach from the children and they had so much fun trying to find him. Sometimes he would even move when we were not home. They would write him notes and he would write back to them always reminding them to be nice. It was a lot of fun, but I don't know if he is going to be able to find our new house in PA. Ariel just caught on about Freya, our resident Book Fairy, and she was a little upset and accused me of lying, so we'll see, if Jack comes back or not, I can't decide.

Normal old post day

I am so excited that yesterday my loving commenters (why does little miss spellchecker think that's not a word?) finally broke the record of 6 comments for one post from different people not including me. Both my last post and the one from the day before got 7 comments. You guys really made my day! I would also like to thank Emily and Mary again for the great post topics that inspired these 7-comment posts. Thanks especially to Heidi Ashworth for making the 7 comment on each of them. Wow, I should have had a contest or something then I could give away prizes. Maybe I'll do that for the 100th comment. I would also like to thank my SILS, Heidi for her idea to write about family traditions, which I am working on and to Lisa for the idea of writing about my in-laws which I plan on doing Friday. But for today I am going to post some pictures of my kids and write a little blah blah blah stuff. I can't have quality posts every day.
Dallin always tries to help me take out the garbage. He goes and gets a new garbage bag and insists on closing the garage door himself. Yesterday I actually let him carry the bag to the garage, it has been the desire of his heart for some time now.
Annika has been begging to fingerpaint for a lonf time now. I finally got the paints out yesterday and here is her masterpiece.

When I went downstairs to get the camera, I found Adriana building this tower for her tiny purple bear. Yes, that is a yogurt carton, full of yogurt. Isn't that the best building material ever? Oh, how would it be to live in imaginary land for half the day, or....wait a minute maybe that is not too far from blogland.

Funny mission story

After I had been in Ukraine for one month, I was sent on a "greenie split" with my former MTC companion. Our older counterparts had set up a first discussion for us with the mother of the previous branch president in the other companionship's area. Pretty safe for two green limited Russian speaking missionaries right? We had been practicing the first discussion ever since we had been in the MTC and although we didn't speak Russian very well yet, we prayed hard, having faith that the Lord would bless us in our efforts. In Ukraine a lot of families have multiple generations of their extended family living together in cramped apartments, so it is not uncommon for a fifty something man to be living with his mother and his wife and children and possibly his siblings if not their family as well. As we entered Sergey's apartment, we nervously took off our shoes and donned the "tapochiki" or house slippers that we were offered. We were led to a cluttered room with ornate rugs hanging on the walls and bookshelves crammed with books. In Ukraine people say that their wealth is in their books, just one example of how intangible values like knowledge are more important than outward appearance or status symbols. We were asked to sit on a well used "divan" a type of futon that is a couch by day and bed by night as each room in these apartment buildings is a bedroom as well. There is no concept of a living room or family room, each room has several purposes. We sat at the edge of the divan with attentive ears ready to pick up on any recognizable Russian word. Sergey told us about how the missionaries have tried to teach his mom over the years, but she is not "verushaya" a believer. But he thinks that she may be ready now and has been praying that we could reach out to her. Well, if that didn't just complicate things a little and put the pressure on us.
"Mother, get out here the Sisters are here to see you!" Sergey calls to his elderly mother. I had the impression that most Ukrainians are about 5 to 10 years younger than they looked. Life is just harder there and it really takes a toll on you. Most women by their mid forties have humped over shoulders I venture to guess from carrying heavy grocery bags for long distances. So, she looked to me like she was in her seventies but I wouldn't be surprised if she was really in her sixties.
She comes out and Sergey makes the introductions and hurries out of the room. So we set in on our first task of "building a relationship of trust," which includes getting to know each other. We ask her about herself and listen closely again for anything perceptible and tell her our much rehearsed phrases about ourselves by way of introduction. From the look on her face we gather that our Russian is yet to be understandable. Sergey returns with "keifer" a Russian drink that we call buttermilk here. I had not yet tasted buttermilk, but the taste is neither buttery or milky, more like milk that has gone bad. While my companion started in with the first principle of the first discussion, I tried my best to be a good guest and consume my buttermilk, fighting back gags with each sip. When it came time for my principle I was more than halfway through my mug. To my dismay Sergey reappeared for refills, Sister Wells politely said no thanks as I noted that she had not even ventured to sip her buttermilk, and Sergey happily refilled my mug. It hit me that I had not learned anything from my experience in Korea the previous year where I would eat food that I didn't really want to, just to be polite and then they would be so pleased that they gave me more.
As I struggled through the next principle ever so grateful for the flip chart of pictures, and wondering if she could feel the Spirit, something waddled into the room. That something was her pet. Her pet DUCK! She gathered him up in her arms and he started climbing around and eventually worked his way into her cardigan and around her shoulders. The "discussion" was lost after that. We had probably been there for an hour by this time and we had to leave,we pretty much gave up on trying to teach her, but were grateful for the interesting evening and cultural experience.
I have a lot more experiences from my mission to share, some more faith-promoting than this one, but that duck was very memorable.

Journal Entry from May 7, 1997 (or how I used to try to be a good writer years ago)

I am sitting on Rebekah's futon listening to the baby make baby sounds and the wind blowing through the window and the faint honking from the street 14 stories below me. The sun through the venetian blinds lights the room and makes the clouds who are trying to cover it glow. The Empire State Building stands proud against the blue background as I look at it above the buildings which all seem the same color at this moment although yesterday they were multiple distinct colors. It reminds me of looking at a handful of sand up close to discover that each grain has it's own color but only and arm's length away they are all sand colored again. Right now the buildings are all building colored.

How we named our kids

Thanks to Emily and Mary, now I have two great ideas for blog posts for this never-ending month of November and nablopomo. Today I will tackle the question of how we chose our kids' names and tomorrow I will share some mission stories.
When we found out that we were pregnant the first time I had this feeling that we would have a boy. It was mother's intuition I was sure. I had even told my ESL students that I was expecting a boy and they bought boy clothes as a gift. The #1 name for our new little son was Mikhail Nikolaevich, because Nikolay's great-grandfather was Nikolay and his son was Mikhail Nikolaevich, so Nikolay, being Nikolay would have children with the patronymic Nikolaevich for boys and Nikolaevna for girls, so if we named our son Mikail, he would have the same name as Nikolay's grandfather. This all dawned on me when before leaving the Ukraine we fulfilled his mothers long awaited wish of installing a bench next to her parents' graves. I was looking at his granfather's grave and at his name and patronymic when I realized that if we had a son and named him Mikhail, he would have the same name.
Our #2 name for the boy I was sure was growing inside me was Levin, I think it rhymes with Kevin. My first semester back at BYU from Ukraine, I decided to minor in Russian and took a Russian history class and a Russian literature class where I read Anna Karenina. I really connected with the main character named Levin.
Much to my surprise when I had the 20 week ultrasound, the technician showed me that the baby was a girl. That really threw me for a loop name-wise, I hadn't even thought of any girl names. I also realized that I did not yet have mother's intuition. I started coming up with ideas for names, but none of the sounded right to Nikolay. So, I kept searching and making lists. Eventually it came down to me making a list of my favorite ten that he wasn't completely against and then we went through the process of elimination until Ariel was the only one left.
In the back of my head I did know that the Little Mermaid had the same name, but I thought that was an obscure fact that no one would really make a connection with. Oh, how I had underestimated the marketing machine that is Disney! I swear that before I had children there was no concept of the "Disney Princesses" grouped together like that an on any kind of product imaginable. Can any one out there support me in this notion that before like the year 2000 Disney had not kicked into gear it's whole Disney Princesses campaign? Because although I still like the name, if Ariel the Mermaid had been as well known as she is now, I think we would have chosen another name.
Another strange thing that I remember about her name is that a few weeks before she was born, Ariel Sharon became the Prime Minister of Isreal. When I saw a picture of this large old fat man with my precious little girl's name under it on the news it was kind of a weird sensation. I thought she would ask me, "Why did you name me after that old guy?" So, maybe I shouldn't be all that disturbed by Disney, because so far she has relished in the fact that she shares a name with a princess.
With our second pregnancy I was hoping for a boy but was thrilled to find out that it was another girl, because we already had tons of girl stuff, and I think girls need sisters. By this time in our lives we were living in Salt Lake City and attending the Russian branch. Most of our Russian friends had a hard time pronouncing Ariel and they would always ask what it means. (Someone told me that in Hebrew it is the Lion of the Lord.) Anyway, so I decided to start looking for Russian-friendly names. Not necessarily Russian names, because there are only like five of them (Natalia, Olga, Svetlana, Tatiana, Valentina). I had a really great (by great I mean thick) Russian-English dictionary that had all kinds of interesting appendices at the back, one of which is a list of Russian women's names. So first I went through the list of about 400 names and eliminated the ones I hated, but I tried to stay really open-minded. Then I would occasionally ask Nikolay what he thought of some of them, he didn't get excited about any of them and vetoed most of them. Eventually we got the list down to about 10 names and decided that we liked Adriana the best. Although, we found it in the Russian-English dictionary and Russian speakers can pronounce it, it has Latin roots. Out of all our Russian friends and acquaintances, I have never heard someone say that they had ever heard the name before. We pronounce the first "A" like "ah," the same way Spanish speakers would. Now we have a neighbor from Puerto Rico who is seven and named Adriana also. When my Adriana was smaller and Ariel would go on about being a princess I always told her that she was princess Adriana too. When we saw the movie Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus where the heroin's named Annika (the same as my third daughter), Adriana got a little sad that there wasn't a movie with Princess Adriana in it.
On our way to the hospital, I started to think, "What if the ultra sound is wrong, and it is a boy, what are we going to name him?" Nikolay and I decided on Daniel, but didn't end up needed the name anyway.
With our third pregnancy I was REALLY hoping for a boy, and it took some time to get excited about having another girl, partly because then I knew for sure that this wasn't my last pregnancy and when you are pregnant you just want it to be over and not think about ever doing it again. I had always thought that I would have 2 girls and 2 boys, so it kind of threw off my game plan. BTW I still want another boy, but I don't want o be pregnant anytime soon and I am not ready to be the mother to 5 children at this point in my life so we might have "caboose" (or two if it's not a boy) in like 8 years from now. I remember talking to Rebekah on the phone right after I found out and she reassured me that girls are better anyway, who wants a boy? (me) She also said that when you get pregnant you should do it because you want a child not a specific gender, otherwise you could end up with a family of 7 daughters. That word should is interesting when you are talking about family planning. And it is not that I didn't want a girl or understand what the odds were, its just the feeling I was dealing with at the moment.
Anyway, back to how we chose her name. Lots of people asked us if we named our first two daughters with A names on purpose, and we hadn't, it was coincidence, but I started to feel like the third daughter should have an A name as well so she wouldn't feel left out (I used to be all about fairness, but now I realize as my father used to always say "Life is not fair, and I am not the equalizer!") Anyway, we were both kinda partial to A names, it just felt right. I think a lot of things about parenting are like that, when you start doing things a certain way with your older kids it starts to seem like that is the right way to do things. So, we went through a lot of names, but nothing really sounded right, until one day I was in the car listening to the radio and I heard the name Annika. It was in reference to the golf star Annika Sörenstam from Sweeden. I think she had just won the LPGA championship for the 3rd year in a row. We are not golf fans and by no means did we name our daughter after her, but I liked the sound of the name, and Nikolay did too. I couldn't decide if we should use the European "ah" sound for the beginning A or the American short a sound like in "back" and "bad," so I asked Nikolay, and amazingly, he preferred the American pronunciation. (At that point he couldn't even say "dad" without making it sound like "dead.") So that is how we ended up with three A names with three different A sounds. Ya gotta love English phonics.
When we found out that our fourth child was a boy, my first inclination was to name him Daniel, but Nikolay's brother had named his son that in the meantime, so that was out. Everyone kept asking us if we would name him an A name, but we couldn't find one we liked. Adam and Aaron we already taken by my siblings (sorry Erin, you know what I mean). Maegan graciously offered to let me use Aidan like her son, but I just can't see cousin's sharing a name. We thought about the Russian name Anton, for about two seconds. So, we came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be an A name. I didn't want to name him a super common New Testament name like Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John (besides Luke was taken). Or Joseph or Joshua (and Jacob was taken) or all the newly popular old Testament names like Noah and Isaac or Abraham. It is hard with boy names, because you don't want to get too creative like River or anything but so many names are SO common. I don't remember exactly how we "found" Dallin. Maybe I was thinking about all of the modern day apostles (Dallin H. Oaks) but we didn't exactly name our son after him. I think I just really liked the sound of it (it is kinda like Daniel) and Nikolay really liked it too. It is funny how many people said that he looked like Dallin H. Oaks as a new born. I kept thinking "Don't most newborns look like Dallin H. Oaks?"
So that is how we named our kids, and no, their names are not Russian (everyone asks that). They do all have the middle intial N (no period per Nikolay's request) I like to say that it stands for Nikolaevna and Nikolaevich but Nikolay thinks the patronymics are too long. I really like all of their names. We did make a point of praying about each of them and we felt that we were making the right choice, but that is one of the areas I feel that our gracious Father in Heaven gives us a lot of freedom of expression in.
Today I am grateful for my kids names and for blog comments. I'll write about some cool things that happened to me on my mission tomorrow.

Guest Blogger---Ariel

FRUIT (by Ariel)

This is how I describe an orange: it is orange, it is a sphere, it is very juicy and yummy.


This is how I describe a pear: it is soft, and sometimes hard, it is GREEN and yummy too.

This is how I describe a banana: it is yellow, and long, sometimes it is brown and mushy and it comes from a tree.

This is how I describe a coconut: it is brown, and has milk inside, and some animals may eat them, you might find them in a rain forest or Hawaii.

This is how I describe a pineapple: it is pokey, and yellow inside, and it is brown on the outside and green, and they are very juicy.

She wanted to continue with apple, mango, cantaloupe, and watermelon, but she had to go to bed. As you can see, I am running out of things to blog about every day for the month of November. Please leave a comment with a question and I promise to answer them tomorrow and I'll have something to write about.
We went to dinner at some friends' house from our ward. It was nice to see the kids play together and get to know each other. So today I am grateful for my opportunity to forge new friendships.

A blog as a journal/family history

Disclaimer: this post is more of a "deep thought" kid of post than a funny things my kids do kind of post. If you don't feel like reading a lot, I put some (old) pictures in too so you can just scroll down to those.

As I have been trying to write everyday this month I have been thinking more and more about what to write. Last night I thought myself into a funk and couldn't write anything. I have been reading other bloggers blogs and my friend Lisa has been telling the story of how she met her husband. Her writing is so interesting it has inspired me to tell my story, but then I have a hard time deciding which one to tell or where to begin.
I started reading my old journals last night to refresh my memory and I realized that since I have started blogging I have been writing there less. Well I guess the decline in journal writing started more around the time when Ariel was diagnosed with cancer. I think I was just overwhelmed with emotion and the possibility of loosing her, and overwhelmed in general with caring for her and newborn Annika. It took not only a lot of time and energy but also an emotional toll. And I didn't know where to start like with just the facts or get into the fears. But, since I have been blogging I have not felt the need to write in my journal as much. I can definitely see this blog as a good family history tool, as far as family occasions and children's milestones, but not so much as a personal journal, because some things are still, for lack of a better word, personal.
On the other hand, I really enjoy reading women's blogs who express the deep spiritual aspects of life well, and have a great respect for that. It is uplifting for my spirit and inspiring both to see the spiritual side of life and inspiring that someone can write about connections they make in day to day life. It reminds me of how I was before and during my mission. As I was reading my journal last night, I noticed how much I have changed. I used to be a lot more contemplative, but I think I have gotten into this mother-has-to-get-every-thing-done mode, and always looking for the break that I am entitled to mode, so at the end of the day when all the work is done instead of spiritually filling up my lamp or bucket (depending on your metaphor of choice), I have been vegging out. For years now. It is taking a toll. I think it goes back to me not being as prepared to be a mom as I was to be a missionary.
I was totally prepared to be a missionary. I knew that you had to follow the rules to be a good instrument in God's hands. I wanted to be exhausted at the end of the day, because that would mean that I had worked hard and was a good missionary. And there was a satisfaction in that. I knew that as I searched the scriptures I would be better prepared to answer the investigators questions and that Heavenly Father would guide me to answers in my own life. I had questions about my own life. I had a plan and it ended with temple marriage. After that I didn't know what to expect. I never thought that far.
In the dating years I loved to tell guys and my journal that getting married is not an end, it is one (spectacular) event in a relationship that starts before the event and continues after it.
And now I find myself almost ten years after the spectacular event and wondering why I stopped striving and why I don't feel like I am still growing spiritually. Sometimes I like to blame the grind of everyday life of caring for my family, because it feels like a job that never ends, but I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life and I am supposed to be finding joy in it. And then there is the world telling me that I deserve to pamper myself, and expect unrealistic things from my family.
So, I think that if I had been more prepared to be a mom and a good spouse, I might have been up to the task. And now that I don't have a "little white bible" of rules telling me what to do with every minute of my day like I did on my mission, I need to essentially write one for myself. And like President Eyreing said in the conference before last, I need to notice the hand of the Lord in my family's life and write about it.
This gratitude month is helping me change my perspective. Last year I feebly attempted to be grateful for something every day, but I gave up easily, so in this past year, I could say that I have come a long way to "living in thanksgiving daily." I do see things to be grateful for ever day and I am noticing the hand of the Lord more in my life, like I used to, when I used to be more pensive in general.
And that makes me think, "Is it just because I don't have a demanding newborn right now, that I can turn over this new leaf to the more thoughtful/aware side of myself? Would I be able to accomplish my goals if I did have a baby?" I think it is important to know one's own limits, and to hold yourself responsible for the challenges you have undertaken. Like, if you are going to decide to have a lot of kids, are you committed to raising them and striving meeting their emotional and spiritual needs? I think we have all seen the tragic consequences of parents giving up on parenting, and sliding into autopilot, leaving the kids to fend for themselves, not having the emotional foundation that they need in the adolescent years when they are figuring out who they are and finding their way in the world. That is one reason why I have decided that I need to always be reading a parenting book. I need to be engaged in my current job and looking for ways to improve. How-to books never appealed to me before, but now that I am not in school, they fill the my need to better myself and read someone else's perspective and insight.
So, reading parenting books is one way that I can prepare myself better for the task at hand, but like a missionary doesn't read the missionary guide alone, I also need to be actively searching for parenting and spousing (that is a real word) answers in the scriptures. That means I need to make the mental effort to actually articulate my questions, and search them out.
Last year, in my ward in Holladay, Utah we had this really wonderful motherhood class, that really got me thinking about some of these issues. The sister who was leading the group challenged us to set goals in our parenting, and really search for direction from the Lord to discover what His will was for us in raising His spirit children. One thought that really brought me peace in my struggles with my oldest daughter was that before she was mine, she was His, and He knows what her spirit needs to grow in this life, so why not turn to Him for help in raising her.
So, like a missionary, I need to be more disciplined in goal setting. Occasionally I do write down parenting goals, but I usually don't follow up. So this is sounding more and more like an entry in my journal and less and less like a blog post, but you know what, all of you who read and comment here can probably relate and I would really appreciate your participation in a dialog on this topic. If you want. Or just look at the pictures.

grattitude

I am struggling to know what to post today, I got into some heavy stuff yesterday, which I will continue later, but for now I am grateful for my kids. I love them to pieces.

Barney sings the truth

Today while I was making cookies for a playgroup, Annika and Dallin were watching Barney (I used to hate that show until I found out that toddlers love it, and by love it I mean I don't have to entertain them for at least 30 minutes, and by have to I mean am willing to give up the privilege of). Barney's sister (I think), Baby Bop was sad that her flower died and he broke into a sad song about letting go of things that we love. That got me thinking about my sister Sarah, and how she passed away, and how I wish we were closer. And it got me thinking about my 4 brothers in general, because I don't have as much contact with them as my sisters and specifically my brother Luke. I really miss him because he is living in Wisconsin now with my parents and it is really hard to get in touch with him. And I worry about him. Anyway, if this post gets any sadder, I am going to have to put it on my other blog. Then Barney started singing about how important it is to have friends around you who are always there for you and who can lift you up when you are sad. I then I started getting sad about living in PA and not making more meaningful friendships, which is hard for me to do no matter where I live. It is hard to find the kind of people you can just totally open up with like I feel pretty close to my walking buddy, but I can't talk politics with her. But I had a good time with the other moms from church at playgroup, and I am resolved to join the book club at the library, and I am going to start entertaining, never mind the cramped quarters and noisy kids and reluctant husband. Carpe Diem! Right?

On another note, do you think my daughter on the right looks like a girl version of my brother (when he was a lot younger) on the left. Genes, I'm telling you genes.


On another note, I am going to make an effort to explain things better in my blog posts, so for those of you who don't know who my sister Sarah is or how she died, I am going to get into some details. Sarah was adopted into our family when she was 2 along with her biological brothers Luke, and Peter, from South Korea. We grew up as a big sometimes happy blended family. There were 9 kids all together. I don't remember my parents ever addressing the race issue, aside from overhearing my mom fielding questions from grown-ups, and her response was always with a laugh and a smile that we don't see the difference in our family, and that she loves all of her kids the same. When I was in 5th grade and started having crushes on boys, they were always Asian. The first was adopted from Korea, the next was from Cambodia, and when I was 15 my first boyfriend and first kiss was from Vietnam, so I guess I was "colorblind." But, back to Sarah, I don't think being Korean and growing up in a white family was as easy for her. As a teenager she became very withdrawn and would say that she didn't think she was beautiful. It was hard to get her to go anywhere and she liked to spend a lot of time alone or with her cat or napping or taking baths. I'm not saying that being Korean in a white family and society was the only factor in her depression, but I believe that cultural identity and feeling accepted for who you are are major factors in forming your self image. And self image is huge when it comes to self esteem, and self esteem is huge for mental health. Sarah is 6 years younger than me so, when I left the house at age 18 she was 12, and I didn't keep in touch with her very well. It wasn't until I was married with a baby that I got to know her all over again. Nikolay and I were living in Provo, going to BYU, and Sarah came out for a visiting student summer program. It was great to reconnect with her and spend time together. I'll write more later.

Last day of fall photos

So, I am trying to improve both my writing skills and my photography skills. Some other purposes of my blog are to document my family's growth and development, and keep my family and friends updated on how cute we are...I mean how we are doing, so today's emphasis is more on the pictures than the words. I didn't have Ariel with me last week when I took pictures in the park, so I wanted to get some fun fall pictures of her too before it gets really too cold and all the leaves are gone. I was just going to post a few, but like last time I couldn't narrow it down enough. At least it's not 20 like last time.








Today I am grateful for digital cameras.

Why Dallin is no longer allowed to play with Mr. Potatohead

...unsupervised anyway. Maybe we'll still get it out once in a while and play together. He has been putting all kinds of things in his nose and ears lately. I gotta keep my eye on that kid.
Today I am grateful for toys. They are so fun and what would my kids do all day without them, and what would we walk around the house cleaning up if it weren't for toys.....strewn all over the house....despite our best efforts to contain them....and our threats to get rid of them?

An imagination gone wild

So I have spent the better part of this morning fantasizing on two ideas that I can't get out of my head and I want you to let me know which idea you think is better.

Idea number one:
Blogger Weight Loss Bet. This is how it would work: We would have a bet going with anyone who wanted to participate to see who could lose the most weight between Thanksgiving and New Years. The entrance fee would only be $1 but the pot would be as big as the number of people who joined. So, if 50 people wanted to join the prize money would be $50. So not only would there be a bigger incentive to loose more weight, but also a bigger incentive to pass the word on to your friends to join in on the bet. I would probably have a new blog where everyone would go for the rules and to "sign up." It would have to be on an honor system, like you would weigh yourself on your own bathroom scale at the beginning and ending and post your weights on the new blog. There is the issue of the $1, like would you have to pay me to start out with like to my paypal account and then I pay the winner at the end, or would everyone just hold on to their dollar and wait till the end and send their dollar to the winner? And I don;t know if this kind of thing is legal.

Idea number two
Chocolate tasting party. This one is just a fantasy. My idea is that I would invite a ton of people to my house (which leads to the first problem--having a small house). It would be like a potluck, bring your own chocolate. But everyone would try to bring fancy exotic chocolate and we would have it set up on fancy trays with labels and everyone could sample all different kinds of chocolate. The other part of this scenario is that most people I know have kids, and I just can't get my head around kids and entertaining at the same time. This is where a huge house would come in handy, like with an awesome basement where we could send all the kids and hire some babysitters to entertain them. One other issue, is I can't figure out what the perfect beverage would be to cleanse the pallet in between tastings. For me milk goes well with chocolate, but not everyone is a milk lover. Water seems plain, hot chocolate--overkill, and anything fruity seems contradictory to chocolate.

So, let me know which you think is the better idea. One the one end of the spectrum, a blogger weight loss bet, and on the other a chocolate tasting party.

Today I am grateful for imagination. Right now Ariel (7) Adriana (5) and Annika (3) are pretending that Annika is the queen of Pottyland. Because she went pee pee on the potty. They are happy to be her royal subjects and
are giving her the royal treatment.

Adriana is interviewing Her Majesty to discover all her favorite things.
Ariel is giving her a royal hairdo (notice the throne she is sitting in). I don't know why whenever the girls are playing pretend, the fanciest thing to do is run around in your undershirt. Maybe it is because I don't allow them to wear sleeveless shirts so when they are pretending they think that is more fancy. Now they are planning a royal parade.

My drive home from church in pictures

I found this picture on the camera. I guess Taz was in the bathroom sink when Nikolay went in, so he took a picture of him.
This is what our "temporary" town home looks like. I can't wait to buy our "real" house.
railroad tracks that I pass over everyday.

This is a harvested cornfield that I drive by everyday.

Don't know why this one hasn't been harvested yet.

There are a lot of beautiful churches in the countryside.


There are also a lot of beautiful old stone houses around.

Tonight I am thankful for Stake Conference, even with little kids, it is uplifting and inspiring. We set some family goals tonight and have hope that we can make some progress. The biggest one for me is having a better daily family scripture study. For the first few years I just felt like we were accomplishing a lot just doing it every day, but now that the kids are getting older and understanding more and reading, I feel that we need to step it up a little. It has gotten to the point that whoever is reading has to practically shout to be heard, and when I try to ask follow up questions, it feels like no one even heard the verse and everyone is in a rush to get to bed, or more interested in tickling each other. Inspired by my scripture of the day Doctrine & Covenants 88:118-119 we are going to try to "seek learning even by study and also by faith." (faith that if we put forth an effort, God will bless up with better understanding and more quality scripture study) and this will help us have a "house of prayer, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." Some of the changes that we are making are that: we are going to sit around the table instead of on our bed, which is so much a catalyst for tickling, jabbing, and other distractions; have everyone try to ask discussion questions, not just me; and make sure everyone gets a turn reading at least one verse. Sometimes we get out the children's illustrated Book of Mormon, as a review or preview of what we are reading to help the kids visualize the story. Ariel and Adriana both memorized a "favorite verse" about two years ago, and I think we need to memorize some new ones, they have such a sense of accomplishment about having a verse memorized, we should do more. I bet Annika is old enough to do it too.

Pennsylvanian impressions (just impressions, not trying to make any stereotypes)

All morning I have been thinking about what I could write today to make an interesting post. And I was thinking about the origins of the word blog. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think it comes from web log. Like a travel log that you keep on the web. Most of my readers and fellow bloggers (all six of you) are kinda in the same boat I am, not exactly traveling, but on the adventure of a lifetime anyway. I was thinking that my adventure in Pennsylvania might be of interest to some of you and I realize that I am still in one of the stages of culture shock, so it is an important moment for me to document some of my impressions. I remember when we first bought our house in Utah that things were a little different culturally than what I was used to in Minnesota, but I can't put my finger on it now.

Here are some of the false assumptions that I came here with about what life is like "out East."

1. Most people are well educated ( ivy league schools)
   
2. Most people have a better sense of style and dress nicely
3. Everything is more high tech
4. People were more "cultured"
   

I guess what I didn't put into the equation was that we weren't moving into a metropolitan area, which is something that I really took for granted in Salt Lake and Minneapolis. So, I was surprised by how much farmland there is, and how far away everything is. I knew there were more trees, which I love, but I didn't realize how agricultural Pennsylvania was. There was a strange scent in the air so, I asked on of the locals at the bus stop what it was and she said without flinching, "Turkey sh*t" They use it as fertilizer on the corn fields. I guess they just call it like it is. I have been surprised a few times by telling me what to do with my kids, like, "I don't think you want him picking up those rocks." Or, "Keep your daughter off that (chin up bar)."

On the way walking to school there are always white men loitering on the street. I wonder if they are unemployed or disabled, but mostly I wonder why they are staring at us. I have started to recognize and greet them. That is what Jesus would do isn't it? Even if they look scary and I am praying that they don't know where I live. In the summer they wear white undershirts (wife beaters as we called them in high school), but now they are donning their flannel lumberjack shirts. I have also noticed a lot more "working class" white men around like in their plumber or car mechanic clothes at the grocery store or picking their daughters up from dance class.
These are just some things I have noticed. I have made some friends at church, but they are mostly California or Utah transplants, so they don't really count as far as me getting to know Pennsylvanians. I think I need to branch out like join the book club at the library (my Relief Society is opposed to starting one in the ward). The only problem is that the library book club meets on Monday nights. Maybe we can work it out anyway.

I just realized that this post sounded a little negative. Tomorrow I will write all the good things about living in Pennsylvania.

Tonight I am grateful that we have a great babysitter that we trust so we can go out (to stake conference).

Strike the Gong

This morning when I checked the internet for the daily forecast and saw that the high was going to be 67 and the current temp was 51, I jumped for joy, reveled in one more gifted to me warm November day and resolved to go take the kids to the park, with the camera. I took so many wonderful pictures, that I spent way too long deciding which ones to post, so I did what I love to do lately, I made mosaics. I hope you enjoy!





Today I am thankful for our crossing guard/janitor who greets us every day with a smile, a "good morning," a chuckle and high fives for Annika and Dallin in the stroller. He really brightens my mornings. Like Bob Rodale said "Smile Often, Reach out to Others." He does both of these.

Genes

Annika has had a two month long birthday this year. It started in September when she got a package from her Grandma Svetlana and stretched even till today when she got a birthday package from her Grandma Lori. We even still have balloons floating around the house from her actual birthday in October. In this picture she is proadly displaying this fleece Tinkerbell vest that Grandma Lori made for her. She felt so special getting her own Tinkerbell panties, stickers and movie from Grandma Lori as well.

A few nights ago Ariel was being really goofy and she started to look like my dad to me, so I wanted to take a picture. I wanted to post a picture of him right next to it, but as I was looking through my pictures of a good one of my dad, I realized that she looks like me. People always recognized me as "Dwight's daughter" and I guess those genes are pretty strong. Erin and Rebekah, don't you see Dad's nose on her face? and forehead (not that his nose is on her forehead, but that she has a big one like him (and me)).

I apologize for not having anything more thought provoking to post tonight, but I am trying to keep up with the November thing. I left a really long comment on Lisa's blog if you want to go check that out.
Today I am grateful for warm weather.

Speeches

I was really impressed with both John McCain's speech and Barack Obama's last night. I just wanted to post some of my favorite lines from both of them, and relish in this historic moment a bit longer.

McCain: "I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger better country than we inherited."

Obama: "This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other."

Today I am grateful for inspiring leaders.

Photography

Here is a question for all of you photography buffs and for anyone who cares if one picture looks better than another. I have been playing a little bit with the picture that I posted earlier of Adriana. What do you think?

Maple (syrup) Leaf

Adriana picked up this leaf on the way home today and had me smell it because she thought it smelled kinda like popcorn. When I smelled it I thought it smelled like syrup. Then it clicked, it was a maple leaf, like maple syrup. Next time you have the chance, smell one and let me know what you think it smells like.
If you are reading this late tonight waiting to find out who won the election, you can go to bed, because in Ariel's second grade class they had an election and Obama won. I think that is a good representation. :) It is great that they get excited about the election in school.
For my gratitude challenge, today I am grateful to live in a state where my vote counts, (and that my state chose my candidate overall). I got all tingly voting this morning. It was so thrilling.

Does this coat make Dallin look like a girl?

Does it? It might not be a very good shot of the coat, he kept running away from me. A few years ago someone had given it to Adriana and every time she wore it I thought it looked like a boy's coat. So, now that Dallin is growing out of his old coat and I have out of necessity become the queen of frugality, Dallin is going to wear this one, unless there is an outcry from all of you precious readers not to. Please comment and let me know. This is your chance to change history, no wait that is tomorrow. But really, should he wear this coat until we sell our house or find something better at the Goodwill or should I just put lots of hoodies and scarves on him?
For the month of November (well at least until the day before Thanksgiving because then I will be out of town) I am going to take on two blogging challenges, one is to write about something I am grateful for each day, and the other is to write each day for National Blog Post Month. My old acquaintance and newly found blogger friend Lisa just posted about it.
So today I am grateful for hand-me-downs. They have really filled in the wardrobe gaps with our growing family. I really believe in re-using children's clothing, and always try to pass on decent clothes that Annika and Dallin have grown out of, to someone who might be able to use it. I remember the first time that someone gave us a big bag of clothes it was when Ariel was 2 but suddenly wearing size 4T and Nikolay was still in school. My mom brought the stash that someone in her ward had given her all the way from Wisconsin to Utah and it was full of nice things that Ariel could wear and grow into. Adriana and Annika are still wearing some of them. A few times friends that had only one daughter gave us clothing when she grew out of them, and when I was pregnant with Dallin a good friend of mine in Holladay not only lent me some of her maternity clothes, but tons of baby boy clothes. It was great! A few months later she became pregnant again for the 7th time, and I was so glad to share my maternity clothes with her too. It was like we both doubled our maternity wardrobes.
Yesterday, despite my critical post, I was grateful for my ward here and for the chance to get to know new people. The day before I was grateful that Halloween was over. I hope tomorrow I will be grateful for the outcome of the election. We'll see!

Children need models rather than critics

That is a quote by Joseph Joubert. I have been thinking about that a lot today. In our Primary we have a few boys who have a hard time sitting still and quite. We also have a few adults who have a hard time being patient and loving with them. The whole situation makes me so sad, because it reminds me of my brother Adam at that age. I remember when he was a pre-teen and he was telling me why he didn't want to go to church anymore: because they always kicked him out in the hallway. He eventually left the church. I am not trying to take any responsibility away from him and not hold him accountable for his own choices, but among other factors, what a difference a loving and patient primary teacher could have made. I don't know what the perfect solution is either, because it is important to maintain order in Primary. In my previous ward we a had a leadership training meeting that blew me out of the water. Up until that point I thought that my job as a Primary teacher was to teach my lesson and get the kids to sit still during sharing time. But at that meeting I was enlightened, my real job was to help the children recognize and listen to the promptings of the Spirit. Wow, that filled me with purpose like I had on my mission. I wish that I could recreate that meeting here, but I am just a secretary, how can I teach the other adults to treat the children with love and respect and provide them with opportunities to learn from the Spirit? I only see what happens in sharing time, not in the classes, I am sure the teachers do a wonderful job with their lessons.

Two Fairies, a princess, and a cow (wouldn't that be a great cast for a faiytale?)

Here are the best individual shots that I got. It wasn't a great day for "photography" for me, but I took the requisite Halloween pictures to go down in history in their scrapbooks. (Now I can say, "See, we did love you we got you all dressed up for Halloween and everything.") Annika's only smiling picture, Dallin's only visible face picture, Ariel's and Adriana's school parade pictures.


Here are the promised jack-o-lantern pictures. After trick-or-treating and seeing a bunch of really great pumpkins I resolved to carve better next year. The two group pictures are right after we got back and took token pictures with Dallin (he stayed home with Papa to pass out candy as to not get sick), and one on the porch before we ventured out. Annika was going to be a mouse (we have a great costume) but when we got out the costumes and dress-ups, which is 95% girly she caved and had to be a princess. Dallin also had to try on some cute pink fluffy stuff, so it's good we got a picture as a cow, not a fairy or pioneer girl. I'm hoping he'll be a mouse next year. After going to 2 different school parades, I walked away thinking that I just couldn't get too excited about pirate, Darth Vadar, Spiderman, or Transformer costumes for him in a few years. Mostly because they almost all have masks.