The Former Anne Spollen's Author Blog Is Being Retitled to "Notes from Living Upghetto": Honesty

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Non Fictional YA Moments

Our house has become a place where more than a few middle schoolers hang out. We have a big, playful dog, old furniture, a couple of coldly glaring cats, and lots of snacks, so it seems right that they show up as much as they do. Plus, I used to teach middle school (I actually once requested a transfer from high school to middle school -- prompting my principal to ask me if I'd had a recent psych eval), so I like this age group. That being said, I forgot that I have always been on the side of the desk where they had to hold back, at least to a certain degree. I was, after all, their English teacher, and they would only tell me so much about disliking their stepmother or how they wanted to ditch their best friend from elementary school. I had never sat down with them as a Mom until recently. I did not realize how I had gotten so accustomed to the dull boundaries of adult conversation until yesterday afternoon when Kate and Matt plopped down next to me on the sofa.

"I like coming here," Kate told me, "my house is so boring 'cause my mom sleeps in the afternoons. She's on Xanax and it's like way too strong for her."

"Oh," I said, moving a magazine that didn't need to be moved, "that's good then. That you have a place to come."

Kate nodded. "It's cause of my stepfather," Kate continued, "my mom needs the Xanax 'cause he's drunk all the time."

"Not all the time,' Matt interjected.

"Right. But a lot." They both laughed. "I think she's going to divorce him."

"Probably," Matt agreed, "is there more root beer?"

"Yeah, I want some, too," Kate smiled.

While pouring their root beer, I remembered: one beauty of this age is that weird poise they possess, the balance they maintain between an awareness of adult issues and wanting more root beer.

Books

Light Beneath Ferns

"I have this strange sense that my silence is preparing me for something I can't name . ."

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants is for them to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jawbone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel—and discover an unimaginable secret.

Teen made trailer for Light Beneath Ferns.

Order Light Beneath Ferns here.

Foreword Magazine's Review of Light Beneath Ferns

Excerpt from THE SHAPE OF WATER

CHAPTER ONE
I discovered windows one afternoon and after that, nothing was ever the same. They had always been there, of course, glass panes shimmering in the color of rain, but that spring for the first time, I was able to open the windows in my room. For years, the locks had been painted stuck, and during the winter, heat from the radiator beneath my windows finally steamed off enough paint off the metal wings of the locks could be twirled open. Knowing that I could open the windows attracted me to them, and I began sitting under the windows, staring through the glass at the sky. From that position, on a chair in my room, the sky did not seem real; it seemed a place I was making up, so I watched it.
The white wood of the window panes acted as frames so the sky came to me slowly, and the huge openness of its space did not touch me. All the window glass in our old house had wavers and bubbles inside it, so at times the clouds moved like water, melting and blurring until they passed outside of the warp. After a few afternoons of sitting, the heavens seemed too quiet to keep watching so I began watching a small patch of woods next to our yard that housed little more than trees and a scatter of bony, mean-looking rabbits.
I started gazing at the sky and the woods in March when the branches were still wet and it was then, with nothing outside my window but trees and rain, that I noticed a shine inside darkness, I noticed colors glimmering within the darkness of the wood. I watched birds come and go, I watched rain nipple down from buds to the grass. The water dripping from branch edges and leaves created optical tricks; I could see that as I watched leaves melt.
Then one day I ventured into the space outside. I did not think about doing this much beforehand. I simply opened the window and dropped to the ground below, uncertain as to why this should be such a more satisfying exit than simply using the door; my father worked until seven o’clock and I could do whatever I wanted until then. But I liked the solid sound my legs made when I landed. Leaving via a five foot drop seemed so much more a decision than just using a door. The sense of escape made my heart pound, though all I escaped was the soundless spread of moss-colored light inside my house and the silence.
I had come to know silence well during those months after my mother died. When you sit in silence long enough, you learn that silence has a motion. It glides over you without shape or form, but with weight, exactly like water. Its color is silver. And silence has a sound you hear only after hours of wading inside it. The sound is soft, flute notes rising up like the words of glass speaking. There comes a point when you must shatter the silence, when you must shatter the blindness of its words, the blindness of its light. I did this by going into the yard. Once I stood there, in the grass next to the trees I had been watching, I found silence outside as well. But I was happier outside than I had been in the house, so I stayed for a bit. I stood beneath my bedroom window for a few minutes, looking up at the branches and the crooked pieces of sky colliding between the branches. I believed I could identify the scent of the sky as I stood there, a blue menthol fragrance similar to the scent of seawater that sprayed into my face when I first dove into the ocean. That initial scent smelled much more subtle than the ocean’s heavy, fishy aroma, a whiff of salt and mint that warned a more powerful scent would enter my nose just as I approached the water on a dive. It was the scent I dreamed in. And it was the scent of that spring sky as I stood in my yard.

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