Getting Engaged in England: Our Romantic Engagement

.In the summer of 2008, Adam brought me on our first date together to East Carlton Park in England.

In the summer of 2009, Adam brought me on a picnic at East Carlton Park and asked me to marry him.

It really was the best marriage proposal I could have asked for.  We’d planned for months to have a picnic at East Carlton Park.  Last year before we even met one of the first things he wanted to show me on my visit was the park where he used to go with his family.  We had such a nice time there that we wanted to return for a picnic but we just ran out of time.  But this year, we planned our menu months in advance, went food shopping, checked the weather, and secured a ride.

The weather was perfect, and it all looked just as beautiful as last year.  Adam asked me if I wanted to eat first or walk around.  I said we could wander around until we found a nice place for our spread, but he already knew right where he wanted our picnic.  Instead of going over to the busy picnic tables, he guided me to an area with open flat fields, spotted with trees, and a few distant houses.  It was much quieter there.  He let me choose a big pretty tree to sit beside, we spread out the blanket, and dug in.

We packed way too much food.  I mostly focused on the prawn salad, which Adam didn’t even want to try.  Actually, I noticed he wasn’t eating much at all.  I kept encouraging him, after all, we’d planned on the scotch eggs, pork pies and everything for months, but he said he was fine.  We finished off with little chocolate cakes and strawberries:  I fed him one and he fed one to me.  Then he read the journal I was keeping for the trip while I took a few photos.

Once we finished Adam offered to clean up, and had me stay with the blanket since he wanted to sit for a little while before we walked around.  I thought it was odd; we could easily clean up in a little while once we were ready to go.  But it was sweet of him to offer, so I let him go ahead.

As I watched him go, I leaned back, thinking what a perfect day it was with the gentle breeze and the warm sun.  It felt so nice that I just wanted to stay there and drink it all in forever.  So when he got back and sat back down with me, I gave him a hug and kiss and told him that I love him.

“I love you too,” he said, “and that is why…”

Oh my God.

This is it, I’m about to get engaged!

This could not be more a perfect proposal!

Adam pulled a little gold box from his coat from his coat for me to open.  Then he opened the little green box inside to show me the ring and asked, “Will you marry me?”  Of course I said yes and asked him, “Will you put it on me?”  So he did, and finally romantic engagement was official, and it felt amazing.  The start of a new chapter for our relationship.

If I thought it was a beautiful day prior to his perfect proposal (and it really was, I’d practically forgotten about getting engaged because we were just having such a nice time that I was living in the moment) as we walked around the park after that, I felt like a million dollars.  I wanted to tell everyone we walked past, “LOOK, ADAM PROPOSED AND I SAID YES!”  Instead I just grinned like an idiot and looked down at my ring every 30 seconds.  All glittery and sparkly in the sunshine.  I couldn’t believe that beautiful and important thing was mine, and the man I loved wanted me to have it, and him, forever.  I’m not anyone’s girlfriend anymore and I’m never going to be again.  I’m a FIANCEE.  And now everyone can see that Adam and I are promised to each other forever.

We got the same ice creams as last year before it was time to go.  I asked if he had let his mom know he was proposing today and he said he did.  So I showed her the ring after we got in the car before she started it, to let her know it was official.  Though I know in her mind the day we picked out the ring was the real start of our engagement, she was still happy for us.  When we got back his mom’s partner shook Adam’s hand and told him, “Well done.”  They let us know they had champagne for us before we head back to Adam’s house. 

We told his brother when we got back, and then went to Adam’s room to relax.  But before he even turned on the TV he was snoring.  All worn out, haha.

We ended the day with a quiet Indian take out for the two of us, to celebrate.  It was the perfect end to a perfect day.  Or maybe I should say, the perfect start to our romantic engagement.
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Getting Engagement Fever

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The last few weeks were agonizing.  I was getting engagement fever and could not stop thinking about when my engagement ring was going to be ready.  Our romantic engagement was hinging on the speed and will of craftsman instead of our love for each other, and I felt frustrated.  I was tired of waiting to get engaged and thinking about all the different romantic wedding proposals that he could be planning.  I just wanted to get engaged now.

The last two days on the other hand, the wait felt MUCH different.  It felt more like the joy I felt when Adam proposed that he propose.  This time I was waiting for Adam.  And I know and trust Adam.  I knew he wouldn’t keep me waiting too long, and the only reason he was thinking about romantic wedding proposals make me happy.

I had reminded Adam a few days ago about the picnic we planned to have this summer at East Carlton Park.  He jumped on the idea, secured a ride and checked the weather and it was on.  So last night I wondered.  Would this be where he’ll be proposing?  I hinted, “That will be romantic,” hoping he’d interpret it to mean, “Bring the ring with you.”

The more I thought about it, the more I wished that the park was where he would propose.  East Langton Park was beautiful, quiet, and since that’s where we had our first date, it would be the best marriage proposal location.  I really wanted this to be it!  But I couldn’t tell him I thought that would be the perfect proposal.  Sure I nudged him in that direction in case he was struggling or stressing for an idea.  But he deserved the opportunity to decide where, when, and how he wanted to ask me and present the engagement ring that he was so proud of.  I really had to keep telling myself that though he knows me well, he’s not a mind reader, so if his proposal wasn’t tomorrow it was okay.  I finally figured out how to live with a non-proposal at the park.  I decided that with or without the ring, the picnic would still be fun and romantic.  It could just be a precursor to the surprise engagement.  As though the proposal he set up for me was spread over multiple days.  And what I needed to do was to enjoy our picnic and just assume he would not propose there, or I’d end up wasting the day instead of having a nice time.

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Ring photo courtesy of:
James Jordan
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Getting Engaged to Be Engaged

This was not a surprise engagement.  We’d talked half kiddingly about “when we’re married and I move to America” for ages.  That became less kidding as time went on.  Until finally on Memorial Day of 2009, Adam asked me if I was interested in getting engaged this summer.  I started screaming for joy, and he said, “That’s not the official question…!”  But I was used to having to make due with voice chat (at least I got to hear him; he typed his first “I love you” to me). So I didn’t consider this to be the actual romantic engagement.  

However, his proposal felt just as exciting as actually getting engaged.  Because now I could start wondering about what sort of romantic wedding proposals he might be thinking of.  Would he get his inspiration from a video game?  Would he be getting down on one knee toward the end of a nice dinner?  Would his proposal be in the gardens outside Rockingham Castle where we went last year?  Will he be proposing at a picnic at East Carlton where he brought me on my first date?  Could his idea of the perfect proposal be sitting on his bed watching Top Gear?  And if he chose that last one, would I say yes?  Hah.

I let mom know we were getting engaged this summer, but no one else.  She was not surprised in the least; when she saw the photos from our first summer together she said “so are you going to marry this guy?”  And I told her yes.  He came for Christmas and though she was happy for me before because she could tell that he makes me happy, once she met him she approved whole heartedly. 

A few people at work started wondering if this would be the summer that I’d be getting engaged.  Some of them asked out loud, but the ones I’m closest to didn’t have to.  They aren’t the kind to make a person feel awkward like that.  But they are the ones who still ask how the wedding planning is going months later, even as the news has worn off.
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Photo courtesy of:  X-Pert