Ready to Just Watch

When it comes to Yoga these days I'm feeling like I just want to watch it. I want to read words from my yoga books, and not worry about memorizing anything. I want to attend my workshop and just absorb and observe...not worrying about "performing". This thought is very liberating.

Nervous. Very.

I am feeling very nervous for my Anatomy workshop that starts tomorrow. Why? It's only a workshop...I'm there to learn, right? My ego has kicked into hyper-gear, and I'm worried I'll look like an amateur. Duh. That's what I am, right? I've only been practicing yoga for 3.5 years. I did my first teacher training only two years ago. Of course, I'm not going to know as much as the people who are hosting the workshop. They're there to teach me, and I'm there to learn. I've got to let this nervousness flow through me.

Can anyone explain to me the "science" behind the feeling of nervousness? What happens to our bodies when we are nervous? I would be very interested.

Variety

I tried a new yoga studio yesterday here in Sacramento. It's All Yoga. It is a lovely little studio. I felt very welcomed and felt that I would be taken care of during class. This studio emits love like crazy. The studio I have been going to most regularly, Zuda, is good in its own way too. One word for Zuda would be "invigorating". I think I like variety in my practice though. So I think I'll have to go to both regularly now. Looking forward to it.

Crossing My Fingers...

This weekend I decided to go to a Saturday morning class last minute. Glad I did. I talked with the owner of the studio, and they are in need of some more help. She wants to meet with me this week to see if they want to hire me to work for them! Hooray! I don't have to work in an office afterall! I am seeing that my patience is paying off.

Weekend Homework

Next week I begin my Anatomy Teacher Training at Zuda Yoga here in Sacramento. I can't believe it's coming so quickly. I've got to get through these books before next Thursday (I just found out about this assignment this morning!). I'm looking forward to learning more.

This Weekend: Veggie Burgers

I love veggie burgers, and would eat them everyday if I could. Since reading In Defense of Food I have not consumed a veggie burger because I cannot comfortably classify them as "food" because of all the unknown ingredients in the store-bought, frozen patties. Fortunately for me good ol' Martha has supplied me with a recipe to make my own out of yummy vegetables and quinoa. Looking forward to it. I'll let you know how it goes!

Too Hot & Polluted

I have cut back my 2.5 hour a day practice to only 1 hour. Why? Because it is oh so hot here and the air is filled with smoke from forest fires. It's suffocating. I think my body needs some down time. Hopefully this heat and smoke don't stay too long.

Om. Namah. Shiva.

One of my very favorite things about yoga is chanting. My favorite chant these days is a prayer to Lord Shiva...the goddess of destruction. Through destruction comes change. I love change. It is oh so liberating. Om Namah Shiva.

Goal: One Week

I just purchased my own copy of the Bhagavad Gita, finally. I have read excerpts and commentaries, but never the text in full. I am going to have it read cover to cover by next Tuesday.

The Bhagavad Gita is an epic poem...a conversation between a warrior and a god. It is a good source to learn Hindu philosophy, as well as good philosophies for life. At least, that is what I am told. The excerpts I've read have been beautiful and enlightening. I'll let you know what I think next Tuesday.

Yoga Outside

For the last few days I woke early to do yoga on a dock at Hayden Lake in northern Idaho. It was truly peaceful and awe-some at the same time. It was so great to feel and hear the water so near. To hear birds singing and water tapping the dock. I hope to do yoga on a dock more often.

Going Away To Breathe

We're going away for a few days to northern Idaho. Should be refreshing to breathe some mountain air, and feel the cool lake water. See you next week.

Ujjayi Breath

The Ujjayi breath is the heart of a yoga practice. It calms the mind, and helps in meditation. For me, the inhale is usually more shallow than the exhale. But when I really concentrate on the inhale I find that I have more strength and will power to get through challenging postures and flows. Truly the breath is like ocean waves. Think of when the waves come into the shore, they have great power and force. When they recede they completely relax, but they relax with power as well. So next time you do your yoga practice really pay attention to the power of inhaling and exhaling.

Balance

"Yoga is the study of balance, and balance is the aim of all living creatuers; it is our home." - from Meditations From the Mat written by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison.

When we feel balanced it is true that we also feel at home. Through a practice of yoga there are many aspects that will aid in bringing balance. Pranayama, breath control/practice, is a wonderful way to bring balance to your day. Sitting in a comfortable position, closing the eyes, and simply watching the breath come in and go out...working toward equalizing the length of each inhale with each exhale. The asana practice also brings balance...each pose asks you to lift up while rooting down while breathing in and out. Each transition also requires a simultaneous lift and grounding.

In our daily lives there must be sadness and happiness to bring balance. We are always looking for happiness, and if we are sad one day we feel it is a "bad" day. Not so. Feeling sad is part of it all. My sad days are just as "good" as my happy days.

Holistic Anatomy: Zuda Yoga

I just signed up for a Holistic Anatomy 50-hour workshop at Zuda Yoga here in Sacramento. It will be taking place the last two weekends of July. Can hardly wait!

The Most Ignored Posture

Savasana is the most ignored posture, but it is also the most important. I find that all too often I attend a class where we work our mind, body, and spirit very hard only to take a two-minute savasana, if that. I like the advice I got from Syl that for every 20 minutes of asana practice we should take a 5-minute savasana. That means if I am in an hour class that I should take a 15-minute savasana at the end of the class. This pose is a place for the body (and mind and spirit) to re-align itself and to absorb all the work that has just been done. I truly believe that we practice yoga in order to meditate and slow down. As a teacher, I also understand that there is an un-spoken pressure from students...many people are uncomfortable lying still for soooo long. We feel that people will get anxious and not come back because they were lying down for too long. I also think that many people simply overlook the benefits of savasana. They'd rather spend their "workout" time doing situps or backbends. My vote is for longer savasanas.

Why I Love Yoga: a reason

My mom loves to read the paper. But there's something she loves even more: clipping out certain articles and mailing them to me. She mailed me this very story.

It's Yoga in Provo, UT is where I did my very first teacher training...so it is dear to my heart. Monica (a teacher there, and in this photo...you have to find her) was with me in my second teacher training...she is a real joy. It's Yoga is now offering classes for people with MS. The story is here. I love yoga because it truly helps people...it is life changing.

Yet Another First: My First Real Injury

Remember my first fall? I have finally pegged it as the culprit for my incredibly sore deltoids. Since my fall out of handstand I have barely been able to do chaturanga...I'm lucky if I can do it with my knees on the ground for support. So I must have overlooked my shouler injury at first because I was taking care of my nose bleed. It's been two weeks since that fateful day. It's hard to be patient. I want to do chaturanga oh so badly, but just when I think I'm feeling better I give it a go, but I end up wincing with pain. This is what I am constantly telling my students to look for: pain versus discomfort. Chaturanga can be very uncomfortable when you are fatigued or just learning, but this is a sharp pain I am experiencing...no matter how energized I feel.

So for now I will work on practicing patience.

My First Love: Astanga Vinyasa

The first yoga class I ever went to was a Astanga Vinyasa class at It's Yoga in Provo, UT. I was a faithful student there for 1.5 years before I did my first teacher training with them. During our training we were privileged to have a couple days with the founder of It's Yoga (in San Francisco), Larry Schultz.

These past few days I have noticed that Power Yoga does indeed have its benefits, but I've had to add my own Astanga practice in each day because I found I am getting quite tight. I LOVE the Astanga system. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites or attachments, but for now I do. It is what it is. Below are some paraphrased things I remember Larry teaching us about Yoga.

Yoga is a purification system. Our training begins when we leave it. Learn the heart of the practice (the breath). Breathe off the mat. The power of the practice is transformation. The breath is food for the spirit. Yoga is about liberation. Breathe out your pain. Place your mind in your bandhas. Astanga is the art of sequencing. Create a relationship with your mat. Go slow with your life. You are a being machine, not a doing machine. Say it, do it, move. Should be stronger at the end of a class. Become light by doing the exercises. Sun Salutations are about a ritual. Everyone's gotta do Triangle differently. Study transitions, not the pose. All movement is good movement. ONLY TEACH WHAT YOU LOVE.

Firsts

Last night in class I hit my first ever away-from-a-wall handstand. I was so shocked to be up that I didn't know what to do...then I started thinking too hard...then I started freaking out...then I felt myself falling, but didn't know how to do it gracefully...so I fell on my face. Nose Bleed. Embarassment. Bruised Knee. Bruised Elbow. Empathy.

I will now practice falling.

You Know You Want To

So I know there's a lot of you out there who want to start doing yoga. Why haven't you started? Are yoga studios intimidating with their handstands and toe-touches? Do you feel that you have to be flexible or stronger than you are to do yoga? What is holding you back?

I feel that often we don't take action when it comes to living healthier, more aware lives. I was talking to my husband about how I try to get women to start doing yoga by gathering a group of friends in their home/apartment for regular yoga classes. That way they can split the cost, and it's very affordable. But few people make the little effort to start. Why?

I wish I knew a magical chant/spell/prayer to make you all feel how beautiful and capable you are. I wish I knew how to connect us all.

For now I will say a prayer and breathe it out into the Universe and patiently wait.

A Bit Overwhelmed

Before I moved to Sacramento I was confident I could find a teaching job within a couple of months. Now that I'm here I'm feeling a little doubtful. As I've researched all the yoga studios in the area I realize what an infant I am in the world of yoga. Most teachers have at least a decade of experience under their belts as well as multiple teacher trainings (I've done a measly two).

I am trying not to get down about it, and have tried to readjust my expectations. Perhaps my time in Sacramento should be a time for me to be a full-time yoga student. To learn all I can from as many different schools as possible.

When I am honest with myself I admit that I am not as into the journey as I would like to be. I'm constantly planning ahead and looking to the future. I want to be perfect now. Obviously I am not quite ready to teach at the level I want to. That takes years...for everyone. For now I will be happy being a student, and teaching in a more casual atmosphere when the opportunity arises.

Dharma

Dharma: it's what you were born to do. As my husband and I are about to move to a new place, I have come to terms with that my purpose here is to teach yoga. So I've given up the office jobs! No more will I let the fear of failure rule my decisions. Office jobs were so predictable and safe. That's old new now. I'm looking forward to my new life as 100% yoga instructor. This will be better than I ever could have imagined.

Chakra Exercise

Below is what we went through for the Women's event last Friday that was hosted by Liz McCleery (Our Glass Slippers).

For further information on chakras visit Syl Carson's website White Mountain Yoga. Look for her book, CD, and DVD titled " Seven Sacred Centers."

1. 1st Chakra, Muldahara, "I have", place your hand on your lower back, or underneath your sit bones.
I am my true identity, I love being here, I love my body, I am beauty, I am healthy

2. 2nd Chakra, Svadhisthana, "I feel", place your hand(s) on your lower abdomen.
I am worthy of love, I am grateful to be a woman, I am the right one, my life is right and good.

3. 3rd Chakra, Manipura, "I can", place your hand(s) at your navel/solar plexus.
I am powerful, I am strong enough, I am rested, I am moving forward with my life, I am fulfiilled.

4. 4th Chakra, Anahata, "I love", place your hand(s) over your heart.
I am loved because I was born, I am enough, I am fulfilling my heart's desire, I am compassion.

5. 5th Chakra, Visuddha, "I speak", place your hand(s) lightly over your throat.
I hear and speak truth, I am the authority in my world, I am the creator of my life, I am honest, I am honored.

6. 6th Chakra, Ajna, "I see", place your hand(s) at your forehead, between the brows.
I am intuitive, I am perceptive, I am insightful, I am clear, I am a healthy mind.

7. 7th Chakra, "I know", place your hand(s) at the top of your head, at the crown.
My life is my teacher, I am important to God, I am seeing my true self, I am knowing my inner voice.

Remember to take some quiet, still time everyday. Even if it's only 60 seconds. Start with 60 seconds, and increase it daily, weekly, or whatever you can make time for.

Thanks again for all of your lovely comments and support. It was a lot of fun.

Women's Event: Our Glass Slippers

I'll be posting all the info I gave at the women's event on Monday. So stay tuned...

Thanks to Liz for hosting such a lovely day, and thanks to all who came! You were a generous and wise crowd!

Namaste.

Doshas

Today I am finalizing my project for my Tai Chi Yoga Movement class. I will be teaching the class about the doshas. I only get 20 minutes...which is a HUGE problem. I'll just do what I can. Understanding the doshas is an integral part of Ayurvedic medicine. Air, Fire, Water/Earth are the universal elements that combine to create the doshas. When the doshas are not in equilibrium disease will manifest in the body. Through our life practices we can bring the doshas into harmony to avoid disease. Each dosha corresponds with an element: Kapha (water, earth), Vata (Air), and Pitta (Fire). Our diet, yoga, and daily activities can harmonize or throw the doshas out of wack. I hope to continue to learn more about the doshas. In another life I would be an Ayurvedic doctor.

The Power of Ten

Do any of you remember watching this 8 minute film in elementary school? It's decades old, but still interesting to watch and to think about. It explores the vastness of our universe as well as the enormity of each one of our own cells. It's really quite amazing to think about how there is literally a universe in each cell. Incredible. I love moments like this. I love moments of awe.

If you haven't seen the short film, watch it here.

What Is It About Classical Music?

What is it about classical music, especially the cello, that truly feeds and guides my yoga practice. Whenever it accompanies my morning practice it seriously triggers my sixth chakra, my third eye, my intuition. I LOVE IT! I always feel so nourished and alive after a classical-yoga session. Try it. Today I ended with Claire de Lune in svasana. Beautiful indeed.

My Yoga Needs Some Joy

I went with my husband last night to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Company perform at Kingsbury Hall. It was absolutely inspiring and incredible. As I watched the dancers move in a way that was unreserved and powerful, I realized what I was missing in my own yoga practice: joy. I have no problem being deliberate, compassionate, or mindful in my practice...but I am usually all too serious. I need to make my yoga a dance, and something from the most joy-filled parts of my whole being. This morning I tried some "joy" yoga...it was oh so fantastic! I'm also signing up for a few dance classes to get my body moving and to tap into that flow.

Yoga In Every Moment

This morning brought a few inches of new, slushy, heavy snow. So we had to shovel the parking area and sidewalks of our apartment building. I enjoyed the sound of the shovel on the wet pavement, the collecting of snow in my shovel as I moved forward, and the clear blue skies overhead. This was my morning yoga...to feel connected to the snow that brings the earth nourishment as it melts. I too hope that I bring nourishment to the earth. I hope I bring nourishment to all those I know, and to those I will never meet.

Spring Cleaning

Started a three-day liquids only cleanse today. This fast from solid foods will get rid of acid, toxins, and mucus that has built up in my digestive system...it will create space (literally) for reflection. After three days my energy will begin to free itself.

I'll be drinking juices, teas, and water. Usually there is a natural inclination to slow down so I will modify my yoga practice, go for casual walks, read books, and write.

When I am done, I'll start by eating whole grains and steamed vegetables.

My Kind of Anatomy

I am currently reading this book. It is so enlightening and revealing. I love her approach to healing and the fact that she mentions over and over that healing is proactive. It also brings out repeatedly that our bodies, minds, and spirits are linked...what we do with one affects the other.

This book has been great on a personal level and has helped me to see why my body experiences certain pains, restrictions, liberations, etc. I can't wait to read it through, and then again.

A Journey

Vrschikasana, Scorpion, is my newest journey. Why? I want to feel my body fly and relax into this pose...it seems so liberating and empowering. I like this photo because the woman has slim arms...there is hope for those of us with small muscles! Who knows when I'll get there, but right now I'm having fun exploring the possibilities.

Vernal Equinox: Rebirth

Who doesn't like the symbols of and literal rebirths? Well we are upon our Spring equinox, where the flowers, grass, and animals start a new life cycle.

The very first time I attended a yoga class I was overcome with the beauty of the sybolic and literal rebirth I experienced after svasana (corpse pose, a symbol of death), then entered into a fetal positions as I woke my body again at the end of the practice. Yoga is about rebirth again and again on so many levels.

Dedicate your practice this weekend to the renewal of your body, mind, and spirit. Namaste.

Nightstand Reading

I picked up this little book, The Couple's Tao Te Ching, at the spa last week. It's been a lovely little treat to read before bed the past few nights. Last night I read the following:

Paradoxes abound in love

and they must be fully lived.

Being wounded is the only way to healing.

Being at fault is the only path to forgiveness.

Feeling empty allows for satisfaction.

Longing for another brings passion's fulfillment.

This goes right along with my deep belief that there must be opposition in ALL things. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The New Moon

The moon and feminine energy go hand-in-hand. The New Moon corresponds directly to the Oracle/Crone feminine archetype. This is a Re-birth phase. Once we reach this stage in our lives it means we have overcome the other stereotypes: Maiden, Mother, and Enchantress. I think I am a far way off from reaching the Oracle stage in my life. I sometimes wonder if I ever lived my Maiden archetype...and if I didn't, how can I do that now? The thing is I have to live the Maiden archetype before I can move forward. Any suggestions on how to fully embrace the Maiden in me?

Ritual

This morning I needed to come back to a ritual...the Primary Series. I needed to connect to something that has been on the earth hundreds of years longer than I. There is something about participating in a ritual that is oh so comforting. Perhaps because we know we are not alone - we are aware that these same movements have been explored by thousands, even millions, of people. I am indeed grateful today for my foundation in Astanga Yoga. It has allowed me a firm place to spring from.

Intuition

The sixth chakra is located between the eyebrows. It is your third eye. It is your intuition. My intention with my yoga practice today has been to fine-tune my intuition with every movement. Using my mind's eye to feel the pose, rather than forcing myself into what the pose looks like for other yogis. This morning I was made aware of how rusty this chakra is for me. Tonight when I practice again we'll see if there is any difference.

Relax!

Today I had my first ever Thai Massage at the Kura Door (courtesy, my Valentine). This is what I've been looking for to add to my personal yoga practice. I mentioned to a friend only a few days ago that I felt that I had hit a wall in my yoga. During and after my massage I realized what I need to implement more into my practice: relaxation. And I'm not talking savasana for 90 minutes (though that's not a bad idea). I need to RELAX in each pose...forget about what it looks like. Stop straining. I know I've heard all that before, but during my massage I realized just how tense I was. My massage therapist kept telling me to relax over and over. My muscles were kicking in without my mind even knowing it. This week I will get over what my asanas look like or where they should be going. It's time to relax, and give into my body and intuition.

If you go for a Thai Massage, ask for Celeste.

Bhakti Yoga

"The yoga of devotion...Bhakti Yoga is the path to self-realization and union with the ultimate force of the universe...in which a parctitioner cultivates faith and devotion, surrendering to the Divine. This is achieved by channeling one's energy and devotion through posture, chanting, singing, scriptural study, ritual, and service to one's particular divinity. Sanskrit is central to this path, as it is the language of the sacred scriptures, chants, and mantras, used for devotional practice...Bhakti Yoga is based on complete faith and surrender to God, but it is not a passive surrender; indeed, one's whole being is active in the process." Sacred Sanskrit Words, Leza Lowitz & Reema Datta, pp. 53-54

Each Sunday will be my blog day for Bhakti Yoga. I want to share with you chants, rituals, scriptural study (that will come from all religions), and of my journey to surrender completely to the Divine.

Today I have two thoughts to share

My heart holds within it every form,

It contains a pasture for gazelles,

A monastery for Christian monks.

There is a temple for idol-worshipers,

A holy shrine for pilgrims;

There is the table of the Torah,

And the Book of the Koran.

I follow the religion of LOVE

And go whichever way his camel leads me.

This is the true faith; This is the true religion.

-Ibn Arabi

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy, But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil AND the good, and sendeth rain on the just AND on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? BE YE THEREFORE PERFECT, EVEN AS YOUR FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN IS PERFECT.

-Jesus

(My thoughts on this command to be perfect: the passages that I have written here speak of loving EVERYONE...this is how we become perfect, it's about LOVE.)

Suryanamaskara: The Sun Salutations

One morning this week I spent 90 minutes working through Suryanamaskara A & B. The ritual came alive in a new way that was so nourishing and informative. I think I will do this more often to continue exploring the benefits.