Quit Smoking

To actually manage to quit smoking, the most important technique is to actually want to stop smoking. No amount of smoking cessation is going to help if the will to do so isn't present. Once you've got that sorted, there's a couple of methods out there available to you. Please bear in mind that everything I'm saying here is strictly anecdotal. It's based on my own experiences and observations. Your results will vary, because addiction is a highly personal thing, and will work on different people in different ways, depending on your life situation, environment, encouragement from casual acquaintances and friends, and your support network.

For whatever reason (my reasons were financial, because the cigarette tax had gotten so burdensome that I was about to have to spend on my weekly cigarettes what I'd spend on food for a month), figure out what those reasons are, and genuinely reflect on what that all means. I wasn't much bothered about the social aspect of it, because my husband didn't mind the smoking. My friends would often join me if I had to step out for a smoke. A couple of them didn't even mind my smoking in their cars, as long as we could keep the windows down. However, once it got to the point where we were only earning one income, and that one income would have to stretch to make us both comfortable, I knew that I had to stop for good. I talked it over with my husband, and he agreed that my math was accurate. Once we both made that commitment, I called the New York City quits hotline, and asked them to send me nicotine patches. Once I made the final decision, I moved onto the next step.

Aside from desiring to quit, breaking my patterns really helped to prime me to put out my last cigarette. For example, I was never an all-day long smoker. Yes, I'd power through the cigarettes fairly quickly, but I never bothered smoking first thing in the morning. 

First thing in the morning, all I want is a tall glass of water, and a couple of minutes to wake up fully. I'll maybe read for a while. When I'd walk to the subway, however, I'd take the stop that runs express (rather than using the local stop across the street from my apartment and transferring to the express 3 stops later), which would give me a five minute walk in which to finish a cigarette. When I'd walk to work from the subway station downtown, I'd light up another. After a big meal, I'd always have a cigarette. If I was drinking, I'd have a cigarette. So far, we're up to maybe five or six. Then I'd get home, pour myself a drink, and light up a cigarette immediately. I'd either park myself in front of the TV, or pick up the phone to call my mother or a friend, and I'd relax that way. Throughout that time, because I wasn't focusing on the actual act of smoking, I'd idly burn through the remainder of the packet.

When I made my decision to stop smoking, I had to begin breaking my patterns. I started taking the local train across the street, so that I wouldn't have time to smoke through a cigarette. I stopped eating large meals (which I was never a fan of to begin with). I stopped watching TV. I stopped talking on the phone for more than a minute or two at a time. If I wanted a drink after coming home, I'd make sure that it was something that I would want to really enjoy, like a glass of wine or a nice cocktail, rather than something that was there to just get me drunk. (The difference being that I wouldn't dream of having a cigarette with a nice glass of wine, because I want to actually taste the wine.) I started reading a lot more than I already was doing. I hated smoking while reading a book, because I didn't want to get cigarette ash onto my book or the computer (depending on what I was reading on). 

My brother took the lighter attachment out of the cigarette lighter in his car. What's the typical ritual for a smoker who drives? Get into car, turn on car, press down on the cigarette lighter, buckle up, turn on radio, when the lighter pops, light the cigarette. If you're with another friend, let them light theirs too. It's another pattern that's easy enough to break. You maybe don't have a cigarette as soon as you pop into the car. Maybe you wait until you hit a long traffic light to allow yourself one. And if the light changes before the cigarette is lit, just delay it a bit longer. 

These weren't sudden changes. It was a process of genuinely sitting myself down, and asking myself when my cravings were at their worst, and trying to interrupt those habits with new habits.

Once I'd managed to break my patterns, I had it down to where a package of cigarettes would last me three days. This took about four or five days. It was work, but it was worth it. I would not have been able to make the leap from smoking a pack a day to smoking nothing at all immediately. For me, it would have been too jarring, and everything I did or was used to doing would make me want to smoke. Breaking the patterns really forced me to examine what it was about cigarettes that I enjoyed, and taking the time to enjoy them, rather than mindlessly pounding through them. That was when I was finally ready to try the patches. By the time I'd winnowed down to three or four cigarettes a day, I was ready to try the patch.

It does help to have a quitting buddy, to whom you can turn when the cravings get bad. Since s/he is also going through the same things, s/he can commiserate with you about it, and help you find something to distract you from lighting up another cigarette. My friend Dan did a combination of Chantix and self-help book. I'll get into both later on. Either way, around the time that I quit, about four of my friends (two of whom I knew in person, and the other two online) were quitting at the same time. We'd complain to each other when times got rough, and helped each other with techniques to get through the tougher cravings.

I started with the nicotine replacement patch.

Quitting Cold: For my brother, this was the most effective method. He'd decide that he didn't want to smoke anymore, and would stop smoking. And that would be it. However, my brother has an inherent stubbornness (OK, willpower, if you're being kind) that won't let him bow to someone else's pressure. If he has someone or something telling him that he has to do something, he'll find a way to not do that thing out of pure spite. If you've got that particular bent, and are willing to give it a shot that way, by all means give it a shot.

The Patch: This was, for me, the worst of all, next to quitting cold. I had horrible side effects, from shaking to nausea to dehydration. I felt horrible all the time. I got very violent, disturbing nightmares that I couldn't explain. I don't watch violent films, I don't watch violent TV, I don't read violent books, and I try to avoid violence as much as I can. Where were these disgusting, gory, horrible nightmares coming from? The box said that this is normal, and that I should just stop wearing it at night if I get nightmares. Should have thought of that first. Who the hell smokes while they're sleeping?

I did stop wearing it at night, but the symptoms never got any better. I was still having horrible shakes throughout the day. I couldn't hold my knife steady at work, so I had to go at a slower pace. I was drinking those sugar and salt mixtures to rehydrate myself, and it still wasn't working (it didn't help that I embarked on this journey in the summer, where I was sweating already, due to the heat). When I ran out of the patches, I decided to try something else instead.

Chantix: My friend and his wife were on Chantix to stop smoking. Essentially, it works by blocking the nicotine receptors in your brain, so that even if you have a cigarette, you don't get the pleasure from it. Any lingering nicotine in your system doesn't have any more effect on you. Initially, you take two a day, and then ratchet down to one a day.

If this were a birth control pill, I'd be pregnant with a large family by now. The problem for me is that I can't remember to take the thing every day. I would set an alarm, I would write myself notes, I would carry the thing in my bag so that I could take it in case I missed a dose at home. So a one month supply took me about three months to work through. It did help to get that last bit of cravings out of my system, however. For me, it was effective, as it was for my two friends who tried it. We were all quitting at the same time, and the Chantix helped us all to clear it out.

It's not for everyone, because it will interfere with other medications you're taking, so it's important to know what the complications are if you are on any kind of medication, to prevent drug interactions. Either way, it's prescription only, so talk to your doctor before you try the stuff.

Self Help Book: I hate self help books. They come off as smug and annoy me to no end. They're featured on certain talk shows who shall remain nameless, which are also filled with smug and annoying people. I'm sure there are some folk who are helped by self help books. Bully for them. I hate them.

It is with that in mind that I was bowled over by how useful this one self help book was. It's called The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, by Allen Carr (ISBN: 0615482155). Like Chantix, the book works with you while you're still smoking. For me, it was mainly to understand the process of addiction and how to break it. Either way, it is highly effective.

Smoking is a weird addiction, in that the high, or the comfort, or the pleasurable feelings, only come from satisfying the withdrawals to the drug. The second you put out your last cigarette, your body starts screaming for the next one. It's not loud at first. Initially, it's just a whisper. Then it becomes more and more urgent as more time passes. Finally, when you're ready to break, you light up a cigarette, and feel this rush of pleasure. That's your body telling you that you've fulfilled its need for more nicotine. Allen Carr explains this a lot more eloquently, and it's what really helped me to break the hold that cigarettes had over me.

E-Cigarettes: I have a friend who's been on them for over a year. That's all I'll say about them.

Gum: Ew.

I'm sure there are other methods, but these are the ones that I've explored myself. There are other methods out there. If you've got your own stories, feel free to share them. Again, your results will likely be different from mine. Again, these are purely anecdotal, and are shaded by my own experiences and prejudices. Take it with a grain of salt.

Before you try any method, however, give yourself permission to be human. I had managed to stop smoking for about three or four days before lighting up a cigarette again. This happened more than once. Clearly, for me, quitting cold was not an option. However, I didn't let myself get discouraged. It's an addiction. That means that there are physical and psychological ramifications to it. If you don't genuinely allow yourself the permission to be a human being, and try again if you don't meet your expectations on the first try. Notice how I didn't say "when you fail". Failure is giving up.

Failure is never trying in the first place.

Happy Birthday, Amma

Amma (mother, in Tamil) and I have had a long-standing tradition that on my birthday, we celebrate both the person who's been alive another year (the birthday boy), and the person who got him there in the first place (the mother). It's a good tradition, and one that the ravages of distance and time have not managed to kill off. Now that my mother is on the other side of the country (and for anyone who's familiar with the sheer size of the USA, will know that it might as well be the other side of the planet), we continue the tradition over the phone, which is just as nice, because there are fewer distractions.

That being said, I'm preemptively making this post, because I know Amma reads this thing, so that in case the unthinkable happens, and I manage to astoundingly bungle what really is my favourite part of my birthday celebration (due to being too tired after work, or not charging the phone, or something else equally annoying and dumb), I will have at the very least made it clear that the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning at 5:30 (after the initial thoughts of "ACK! BATHROOM!") was indeed my mother. However, because she's like three hours behind, I'm not about to wake up the entire house to call her at that ungodly hour. Especially not when my nephew is likely sleeping, and getting woken up by the phone is Not To Be Considered.

It's strange. I've had an inexplicable dread of hitting this particular milestone for a while now. I'm 30. Ugh. Even writing it makes me uneasy. But here it is, and I might as well admit to the old age that I've been cultivating since the age of 5. One of my aunts mentioned (in an amused tone, for the record), ages ago, that I was in equal turns an unabashed young child, and a 75 year old man at the same time. So. Here I am. 30 years old.

I've met (and married and stayed together with) the sort of man who I used to think only existed in sappy romance novels. I've written and had published my first book. I'm working at a place where I enjoy the fruits of my labour, and the challenges excite rather than drag down. I've got some pretty close friends who enjoy spending time with me. I've got a comfortable little home in a city I love dearly. I've managed to get rid of most of my major vices, and have reeled in any that I haven't given up completely (I'm not trying out for sainthood).

There are definitely things that I still want to do, that I still look forward to being able to do. But I've got plenty of time for those. It's not like I'm 30 or something.

Oh wait.

If I'm being perfectly honest with myself, the outpouring of love and good wishes from family (my sister called and left a voicemail at 12:30 AM last night, while I slept, and thereby managed to be the first to wish me, which she promptly followed with an email; her husband emailed shortly after that) really is life-affirming. I love that I inspire good feelings towards me, and that people want me to be happy. I've also gotten some lovely emails from fans who've been around since day one, from the before time when I was just a voice on a podcast, or a few words on the screen.

Thanks to Amma for my birthday, as always. Thanks to all my friends and family and fans who have sent over their lovely words of support and love. Thanks to my angel husband who still somehow enjoys my company. It's a good time to be 30. 

Tradition!

I was having a discussion with my friend Kate when she was over here enjoying some food I had just cooked. She mentioned that even though she is vegan, she still has a soft spot for those things that she enjoyed eating when she was growing up. Food has powerful connections to it, above and beyond nourishment. Those foods you ate as a child that gave you comfort will hold a powerful connection for you. However, as Kate mentioned so eloquently, "Just because I want to still enjoy that food doesn't mean that someone else should have to suffer for it." Well put, Kate. So she, in her home, tends to actively seek out omni subs all the time, and is on a quest to recreate those memories, textures, tastes, and feelings while still holding true to her moral convictions.

Mind you, Kate isn't "one of those". Her spice cabinet is very well stocked. Her mind (and mouth) are both open to new experiences. When she was here, I was cranking out random weird South Indian dishes that most people hadn't heard of before (because most Indian restaurants focus on North Indian dishes), and she was cheerfully eating them. She absolutely loves vegetables of every shape and size. She takes genuine pleasure in all foods, be they the memories of yesterday, or experiments of the present and future. 

I said all that to share this story with you. My friend Joanna's husband Mark comes from a very large family in upstate New York. They're a rather close-knit family, headed by one of the sweetest matriarchs you could ever hope to meet. I would like to introduce you to the gentle, the kind, the ever-patient Suzanne. She sent me a message on 25 March. I'll let her say it in her own words. 

Hi, Dino. Mark's mom here. I have a vegan cooking question, and thought you might be able to help me. For years I have made a pineapple torte for our Easter dinner. The recipe uses gelatin, but now that we have several vegan/vegetarian family members, I'm trying to find an alternative that will still set nicely while not compromising the convictions of my loved ones. Any suggestions? Thanks so much in advance for any assistance you can give me. I hope we'll able to meet both you and Stephen on one of our next visits to Mark and Joanna.

I got a little misty-eyed, but was overall rather touched by her desire to respect the morals of her children. I thought that was a wonderful thought.

Hi Suzanne, Clearly, you are even more compassionate and kind than even your wonderful sons and daughter-in-law have mentioned! What a lovely way to continue traditions, but make everyone feel included! I have such an incredible amount of respect and warm feelings towards you and your family, because of the love that you all share with each other, and this is just one more example of that love. Thank you for reaching out to me. Mark and Joanna talk about you all the time, and about how what a pleasure it is to be in your presence. I hope to some day share in that too! 

I have found that agar tends to replace gelatine quite closely, though not exactly. It'll get very close, though. The Japanese have a long tradition of making vegan gelatine desserts, which they call Kanten. It seems like it's fairly pricey (and it is), but a little goes a long way. At work, we buy the stuff by the pound, and it lasts a long time. 

The beauty of agar is that if it ends up too firm (as it will do the first time you use it), you can melt it down and it sets right up again! I was so amazed by this that I thought that my boss was pulling a cheat on me somehow, but sure enough, it worked out when I tried it myself too! Who knew, right? As with anything where you're working with new ingredients, experiment with a little bit first, to see how the stuff behaves. 

Most of the Internet swears up and down that you can use it interchangeably with the amounts you'd use for gelatine, but I don't think that's the case, from how we've used it at work. I've found it especially effective in baking, when I want a bit of firming up, without adding cornstarch, and keeping the gel jewel-clear. For example, when making the cherry topping for the vegan cheesecakes we make at work, agar makes the fruit stay put. When you have finished setting up the agar (it sets up at room temperature, for the record, so no need to refrigerate unless you want to hurry it along), it'll stay solid for a long time. I remember using agar when I was running gel electrophoresis in genetics lab. It was endlessly amusing to see how the stuff held its shape no matter what you threw at it! Hope this helps a bit in your cooking adventures!
Dino

It had taken me a day or so to respond, because I had to double-check with my boss if pineapple would inhibit the setting up of agar, as it does when you put it into a cheesecake. Apparently, it doesn't.

Thanks, Dino, for your gracious reply. I really appreciate the time you gave to my question. Daniel located some agar in Rochester , and it will be a family experience making the torte together this year. (We live in a very rural area, and ingredient choices are not very broad here.) My husband has been very unwell, as you may know, and is facing his first of five surgeries this coming Monday. I'm so thankful that all of the children can cook, as I will be arriving very late the night before Easter. We'll all put the dessert together as soon as I arrive. Just gotta keep those traditions going! Thanks for helping us to do just that. Take care, Suzanne

I didn't realise what a rough time her family was going through. It was even more poignant that she was still thinking about everyone's comfort, in spite of having so much on her mind already.

So then, I rambled back, to maybe help take her mind off of things for a bit. Also, I kind of wanted to keep the correspondence going, because I wanted to know if the dessert worked out well for everyone.

Sounds good, Suzanne! Please let me know how it all turns out. Also, please have Daniel do a test run to make sure that the whole thing does set up. Few things are quite as disappointing as the grand finale being anything but. If it doesn't work, I can email Daniel something vegan that he can knock up quickly. I've had to do the same to gallop in and save dessert on more times than I care to remember. Seriously, there have been some nights.  

Like the one time that I had my dear friend Ricardo coming over for dinner, and he asked if he could bring a friend. No harm, no foul, right? I just add more water into the pasta pot, ready to feed both of 'em. About 20 minutes before arrival, Ricardo lets me know she's gluten free. D'oh! Thankfully, I had the rice pasta from Chinatown in my pantry, and I figured that today was the day to use the thing. 

Or the many times I've been to Joanna and Mark's house, and got a request for dessert. I'm not a baker, y'see. I just know a couple of recipes that're fool proof, that I keep in the back of my brain, in case of dessert emergencies. Like the apple lingonberry crisp I made for those two when I think Daniel and Andrew were visiting. That came out fantastic. Or the Lemon Poppyseed cake. Man, was that good! 

Funny story about the lemon poppyseed cake. I was flat on my back, having over-indulged the night before (in an effort to keep Mark at home, so that Joanna could go to the store to "get more beer" [when she was really going to pick up Daniel and Andrew]). I basically dictated the recipe, and the specific instructions to the gang, while running an online interview that I'd promised to do months before. It was the most hilarious thing (looking back), because there I am, hollering highly specific instructions to the kitchen, while trying to type to my interviewer at the same time. For the record, the cake was delicious. Thanks again for reaching out. I appreciate getting to know the families of my friends better. I wish your husband a speedy recovery. Dino

It took a while, because that was around when Easter hit, and things got crazy busy for everyone. However, I got back some very good news when the dust all settled on both sides.

So, Dino, the torte was perfect! Thanks so much for your assistance. I was sooo happy that everyone in the family could continue to enjoy one of our holiday traditions. You're the best! PS...Mark, Joanna, Drew, and Daniel have had amazing things to say about the food you've cooked for them, as well as good things to share about you and Steven. Seems like you have a knack for multitasking.

Score! The point is, to this whole long rambling tale, that we do still have those foods that mean more to us than the specific ingredients in them. There are traditions, there are memories, and there are all kinds of other things tied into those things. When you start on a vegan lifestyle, you sometimes have to tweak those traditions, and make them into new traditions, so that you still connect with your family and friends over those things, while still holding true to your moral convictions.

Again, to reiterate: it's not fair to judge everyone who tries a mock meat thing, or an omnisub thing as "one of those lazy vegans who just lives off of boxed food". Daniel and Drew were quite adventurous eaters too. When they were visiting Mark and Joanna, I made all kinds of varied things, which they eat with great gusto. They're both capable of cooking, and cooking well.

But sometimes, they just want a little taste of home, mom, and pineapple torte.

These things have a way for making it even more memorable.

A few months back, my friend J and I decided to make a trip out to Tampa for a party that was going on that we both wanted to hit up. I called my other friend M in New York, and told her that she had to come down for it, and that we'd all have a blast. We would get together, and book a hotel in Tampa, then grab a quick bite to eat at Grass Root Organic Restaurant before coming back to get ready at the hotel room for the party. Then, after getting back to the room, we'd crash for a bit, and sleep off the long drive and long party. On Sunday, we would drive back to Ft. Lauderdale. We would have dinner at Sublime, and wrap up the weekend that way. On Monday, we'd drop M off at the airport, and get back in to work, business as usual.

If you ever want to hear the Gods laugh, tell them your plans.

At the last minute (aroundabouts of this past Monday), J had to cancel her part of the trip, because something came up that she couldn't anticipate. There went the idea of taking her car. Instead, we'd have to rent a car, and drive up with two, not three drivers. We'd also have one fewer person to rent the hotel room. Fortunately, it wasn't a problem, because everything was reasonably priced.

I met K on a vegan forum, and contacted him to let him know that me, Steve, and M would all be driving up to his neck of the woods. He gave me his phone number, and we made plans to meet at Grass Root. Apparently, I hadn't learned my lesson about making plans quite well enough the first time around! The sensible thing to do would have been to meet K in his town of St. Petersberg, and follow him in to Tampa to get to the hotel. We'd check in, and drop off our stuff. From the hotel, we'd take one car, and go to Grass Root together. Then, we'd figure out where to go from that point onwards.

Sensible wasn't my strong point this weekend.

I told K that we'd meet him at Grass Root, and that it should take us about four hours to get from Fort Lauderdale to Tampa. What I didn't count on was the rain. From the time we hit Naples (or thereabouts), sheets of rain began to slam down on the car, and reduce the visibility to nil. We were able to see the lights of the car directly in front of us, and nothing more. This meant that we were crawling along at close to twenty miles per hour, and making horrible time. Instead of the anticipated four hours, we ended up spending more like seven hours of time getting to Tampa.

Because of the rainy conditions, and our timings being wrecked, we decided to relax our attitudes on the way up. We pulled over at a rest area that looked interesting, and had a little picnic under one of the shelters. We took our time to look at the stunning rivers and lakes that we passed by. We stopped by a Target (to grab some shoe laces), and the three of us lingered over a cup of coffee, while the rain raged on outside. When it let up, we made a mad dash for the car to get back onto the highway!

We switched drivers whenever one would get tired. I burned CDs on the road, so that the music choices changed with each CD that my computer made. We sang along to the songs, and ate the bajji that I'd made that morning. We chattered on about nothing and everything, taking time to enjoy the stories we told each other. We reminisced about the music we listened to when we were younger. It was so nice to have a trip where we could kick back and take it easy.

All this time, poor K is wondering what's taking us so long. He ended up having to wait for us at Grass Root for about an hour. Lucky for him, the place has a cool reading section, where they have all sorts of interesting books. They also have a little gift shop set up against the left hand wall, with interesting pieces from all over the world. There was a beautiful Mayan calendar, made of what looked like aged copper, set on wood (if I recall correctly). Because of this, K was pretty relaxed when me, Steve and M showed up at the place. The three of us, however, looked like we'd been dragged through a few sets of rollers in a printing press, then shaken about in water. It wasn't a pleasant sight.

The restaurant, however, was a delight! We sat around talking for about two or three hours, while the food just kept coming. There are quite a few raw dishes, all of which make you feel so alive! The chef understands how to balance flavours, textures, and colours very well. It's a feast for the eyes and the stomach.

After eating, we planned (oh, what fools these mortals be!) to head back to the hotel, mooch around for a bit, grab a shower, and part ways with K while me, M, and Steve headed out to the party. Again, we were shown the folly of making plans! K had accidentally locked his keys in his car. Looks like we'd be here a bit longer. He called a locksmith, who said that it would take forty five minutes to arrive.

This meant that we had to chill at the restaurant until the locksmith arrived. I went to the car, and grabbed the three branches of curry leaves I'd brought with me. I was originally going to give them to K, but I decided on the spot that I'd rather give them to the chef who worked at Grass Root. He and his mother were such nice people, and I figured they'd appreciate trying something new and interesting. (K doesn't cook very much!) I signed a copy of my book for K. The chef saw the book, and the two of us had a long, rambling conversation about religion, and cooking, and family, and everything else under the sun. It was so nice to find such wonderful people so far from home! Although we tremendously enjoyed the food, I personally enjoyed the time I got to spend with the new friends I met there.

Finally, the locksmith came out and retrieved the keys from K's car. K made a split second decision that he was having too much fun with the first vegans he'd ever met in person, and that he'd prefer to join us to go to the party, rather than go home from the restaurant. I was only too happy to oblige, because we had the ticket already, and had space in the room, since J cancelled. K had to dash off and grab an outfit, so the three of us stayed behind at the hotel room, and got a chance to just relax for a bit after all our adventures. Steve caught a quick nap, and M and I chattered on at each other while we got dressed and primped.

K got back and the three of us headed out to the front desk to call a taxi. We'd be out late, and there's no sense in having someone drive in a strange new city when he's half asleep. Rather than risk it, we stuck with the cab. We got to the party, and had a good time dancing and wandering around the rooms for a few hours. Tampa shuts down at 3 AM. We headed back to the hotel room, and settled down for the night.

However, both M and I are used to going out much later than that, and Steve was running on quite a few cups of coffee by that point. K was excited to hang out with vegans, and was also wired. Rather than sleep, we stayed up for a few more hours, talking about everything from the profound to the mundane. We've definitely made fast friends with K. It was so much fun to be with vegans for a weekend.

It's like every kink that got thrown our way came with a new and interesting adventure for us to enjoy. It's almost as if something out there is letting me know that although I may think I know what I'll enjoy, I should really just keep myself open to new possibilities. Freaking out when things don't go just so is a short cut to the Emergency Room. Because we were willing to roll with the waves, we had a kick-behind weekend, and made new friends, and have memories to treasure forever.

It's kind of like when I'm cooking. I'll be standing there, watching the dish unfold, and reveal itself to me. I never know what I'm making until after it's made, because I like to let the ingredients guide me, rather than having a specific plan to start. By doing this, I don't feel disappointed when things don't turn out perfectly. Rather, I feel excited by finding out all the new ways I can serve something. People who have watched me in the kitchen can verify this. I'll start with a stack of ingredients in front of me, and think out loud when it comes to what I'll be making. Many times, about half way in, I'll change the course of things, and come out with something different. It doesn't matter if (for example) while I'm chopping vegetables, I end up making them larger than I expected. Rather than freaking out that it's not perfect, I'll make the dish into something different from what I'd originally planned.

Now that I've had this experience, I know that my attitude was just right. It was a fun weekend, and I look forward to more adventures in the future.

Slow start turned fast.

I cooked up a bunch of horrible (health-wise) things for Steve's birthday, and figured that he'd be a bit slow to wake up. Knowing that I could expect a groggy, tired man in the morning, I got myself a little insurance. I threw in the ingredients for a loaf of bread into my bread machine just before going to sleep. It barely took me a minute or two, tops, and I knew I'd have my easy out when I wake up.

As scheduled, I woke up bright and early. It's strange; because I wake up so early on weekdays, my weekends are rarely all that different. Steve, on the other hand, prefers to laze about on weekends. We have a few million things to get taken of, and I couldn't risk sitting around until the late afternoon, when it gets unbeastly hot, and unbearable outside. So there we were. Steve was still a little slow to start, as expected, when I pulled out the heavy artillery. I casually mentioned, "I don't usually play dirty, but there's a fresh loaf of bread on the counter. Enjoy." He wanted to know what I meant by playing dirty, but I told him that he'd figure it out himself as soon as he woke up properly.

All in all, he had a pretty awesome birthday.

Dragged down

Yesterday was just one of those days. By the time I got to the bus, there was a steady drizzle of rain blanketing everything in its wetness. I got on the bus, which was relatively empty (looks like others had the sense to seek cover already!) and made my way home. I got out of the bus to relatively quiet sunshine and a gentle breeze. Since it wasn't that bad out, I made the mistaken assumption that it would be smooth sailing all the way home.

No such luck.

About half way into my walk, the skies opened up, and soaked everything to its core. Fortunately, I'd managed to stash all my books and electronics into a small plastic bag that I always keep in my bag for such wet emergencies. I wasn't worried about anything valuable getting wet, so I grumpily stomped my way home and let myself get drenched, rather than worry about rushing for cover, and delaying my date with my stove.

With the best of intentions, I'd put on a pot of beans to cook in the crock pot that morning before I left for work. Whenever I see the fridge start to look a bit threadbare, I make sure to get something going before I leave, so that by the time I get home, dinner is only 20 minutes (at the most) away. By the time I walked into the door, I was not only drenched, but also fairly miserable. For all it mattered, the beans could go hang themselves. Dripping all the way to my room will tend to put me in a sour mood.

Before changing into dry clothes, however, I set a pot of water to boil on the stove, and dumped in the rest of whatever potatoes I had. (I wanted something hot and comforting, and nothing calms and comforts like a hot boiled potato with some chopped broccoli and lemon juice.) I also hacked off the stalks from a couple of heads of broccoli, and pitched them in with the potatoes. I pointedly ignored the beans.

After about 45 minutes or so, I was dry and comfortable, and the potatoes and broccoli stalks were done to a turn. I ate a couple immediately, and instantly, my stomach calmed down, and my mood lifted. Now those beans would get the attention they wanted!

I drained out the potatoes and gave the pot a quick rinse. I set it back on the stove, and popped my spices as I do for a daal. In went the cooked beans, along with their cooking water. After giving the crock pot a rinse (and adding the water that I used to rinse out the crock pot to the pot of beans), I set the crock pot to dry. The broccoli was easy enough to break up into florets, directly into the pot of beans. I had some spinach that had seen better days (but was still good), and threw that in as well. There was also a knob of ginger laying around in the fridge, so I grated that up as well, and threw it in. (For next time, I'll chop up the spinach. It gets stringy, and I'm not a huge fan of that texture.) I dropped down the heat to a low simmer, and put on the lid.

By now, I had enough motivation to also throw on a pot of rice in the rice cooker.

As the aromas of the cooking food filled the house, I relaxed in front of the window with a cup of jasmine tea, and a book. By now, the rain pattering on the roof took on a calming sound. It was like listening to a thousand people snapping their fingers. Every now and again, the wind would pick up, and the trees would add their counterpoint to the rain. It was nice.

About 20 minutes later, when the rice was done, the beans were done as well. I turned off the heat, and chopped up two of the cooked potatoes, and slid them into the pot. It was still another hour till Steve came home, so I had time to relax some more, and the potatoes would have time to absorb the flavour of the beans without releasing their starch and thickening up the soup any more than it already was. (Note for next time: even if it is thicker, it might be better to let the potatoes simmer along. They got flavourful, but not as much as I would have liked. Fortunately, there wasn't that much of it, and the texture was fantastic.)

When Steve did get home, he said, "There's nothing like coming home to that smell!" It was obvious that he'd had as rough a time as I did in that hideous rain storm. A couple of bowls of piping hot soup over fresh steamy rice was just what it took to get him in good spirits again.

If you ever come home, and really feel unmotivated to cook, just give yourself a little time. Often, it just takes a quick meal that comforts you to get you ready to cook. Since you're the one doing the cooking, you're allowed to comfort yourself first, and handle the needs of others afterwards. Once you do get around to cooking, however, all those people who share your meal with you will share in your good feelings, and your own good feelings will increase exponentially.

Culinary Activism at its Best

"Hey, Dino! I heard you wrote a book ..."

"Hmm?"

"Yeah. Because I see you come out here with your lunch every day, and whenever I smell it, I think 'There's no meat in there, but I want to eat that anyway.'"

"Oh! (laughter) That's really kind of you. Yes, I wrote a cookbook."

"No way."

"And it's published. You can ask for it at B&N."

"O_O!"

It's gratifying to know that just by eating my lunch every day, I'm turning people on to the fact that vegans eat well. I love it.

Rainy, but pretty.

I was sitting outside of my house, on a chair on my driveway, when the wind suddenly whipped up out of nowhere. It was going to start raining. Usually, I'm not the biggest fan of rainy days, but this was different. Unlike most storms, that are dark and ponderous and angry and frenzied, this one simply was. The air blew from all directions, pushing my shirt up, then back down, then out and around. Out of nowhere, this orange butterfly flew past.

It was completely unexpected, but so amazing at the same time. Here were these tempestuous winds, flying in all directions, and there went a gentle little butterfly, just enjoying the wind with me. We sat like that, the one looking at the other for about fifteen minutes, in perfect silence. Occasionally, the weather would interject with a flash of lightning, or a laugh of thunder. We two travellers on our journey, however, simply sat in companionable silence. There were no need for words. It was nice to just revel in each other's gaze for a while.

The first few fat, lazy drops broke my concentration and his. He bid me farewell, and fluttered past me on the way to whatever errand he'd been heading off to take care of before our all too short repast. Take care of yourself, little friend.

How is the Book Doing?

Many of my friends have been asking me how the book is doing. In fact, my family asks as well. In fact, more or less anyone who's in my circle of acquaintances wants to know how the book is doing. Often, the person really means "How many copies have you sold?" Honestly, I don't know the answer to that question in particular. As for how the book is doing, however, that's a different story.

I'm getting feedback from the people who have bought it, and tried out some of the food in there. People are getting back into their kitchens. They're shopping for cheap ingredients that are readily available anywhere. They're telling me that they're becoming confident in the kitchen. I remember addressing that issue on the Animal Voices interview. Lauren had asked me what I thought of people simply thinking they're poor cooks. To be honest, it's fear. I'm helping people get past their fears of preparing filling foods for themselves and their loved ones.

"I love that I've been given permission to mess around with the recipes and try shit out. It also means I'll cook something from the book even if I don't have all the ingredients, because now I know I can replace/omit/add whatever, whenever."

YES! Exactly! I want you to fuss around with what I've given you, and make it work in your kitchen. I've not only given you permission to do so, I'm outright encouraging you to do so! And this person loved it! S/he made the dressing from the Mixed Greens Composed Salad, and subbed out one nut for another, and it still came out fantastic!

"OK, I made the dry chickpeas and as I was nearing the end of cooking them I started laughing outloud cause it was clear it was going to taste so good. Wow did it ever."

"I made the Basic Kale Soup last night which was super easy and so frickin' yummy! I added chickpeas to it and a lot of parsley...Mmmm."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! I made the Lentils and Chickpeas and I am sitting here eating them cold right now. I added some PB when it was cooking and subbed out some vermouth for the vodka.
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Okay, I feel better."

"Dino, your Quick Garbanzo Soup is a godsend to a sick lazy vegan! It is so good and so easy and the only thing I needed that I couldn't find in the pantry was an onion, which was easy enough to sweet-talk someone into picking up for me. I am sitting here smugly enjoying my delicious meal whilst all the omnis I gave my bug to are choking down cans of vile processed Campbell's crap."

"Dino what I am loving most about is that your basic recipes are actually basic. Sometimes I can handle more complicated recipes, but sometimes I can't. Often as a fairly new cook, when I see the ingredients list and it has 20 items, I immediately feel overwhelmed. My kitchen isn't super well organized either, so I am never sure what I have, or I always forget an ingredient when I am shopping, even when I have the list.
Even I can't mess up the basic recipes. Yum and thanks!"

"Today we made That One Soup Dino Makes, but I had to take it off of the stove just as I got the potatoes added because my partner arranged a surprise picnic party for my birthday. So, hours later I finished the soup, but I didn’t have anything to add to it because I played instead of going shopping. The soup was really extravagant without any additions though. I wasn’t all that hungry after party food that included black bean burgers, strawberry shortcake, and potato salad - I thought I was just going to taste it, but I had a huge bowl.
And I have a lot of leftovers to play with. We froze half of the leftover soup and Tuesday we will add chopped tomatoes, corn, and black beans to the rest of the leftover soup and serve it with lime wedges, and avocado on top -- if I can keep my partner out of it until Tuesday.
It will make great quick dinners after work. I am determined not to eat any fast food type frozen foods or any other fast food during the week. We both work 10 – 12 hour days or longer with our commutes and it is pretty daunting to come home and make dinner after that. But the fast food has too much salt and sugar and other stuff we don't want to eat. We love the cookbook because a lot of the recipes are so easy, and they taste great too!!
We are trying Vizza tomorrow.
Truffle oil is my secret love. I am embarrassed to tell people how much I love it because it seems so extravagant, but Vizza has a truffle oil option. I am so excited."

"I love that the fast and easy recipes are actually fast and easy. I have been crazy-busy but I have still churned out some awesome food in the past few days. If not for this book I would probably be eating ramen for lunch today instead of this awesome cauliflower thing."

In other words, the book is a smashing, resounding success.

Back to the basics ramble.

One of the people who bought my book sent me the sweetest comment: "I made some of the basic pasta with garlic for lunch, with a bell pepper mixed in- so yummy, and simple, and something I'd not have thought to do myself!"

See, that's the thing about those basics recipes; they're meant to get you to appreciate very simple and clean flavours, with few frills and furbelows. As omnis, we have broccoli smothered in cheese, and as vegans, we often have them in stir fry dishes, or in pot pies, or other places where they're drowned with ... stuff. Same with pasta; we rarely have pasta with just a touch of oil and a bit of garlic for flavour. It lets you totally appreciate the experience of pasta. And the cool thing is that if you're a vegan on a tight budget, and you notice that your pantry is getting a little skimpy, you can still invite friends over for dinner, and serve them something lovely and delicious with very little fuss or shopping. It'll let you hold off on hitting up the market for a few days, and keep you fed.

Mind you, I do encourage you all to eat as much fresh fruit and vegetables as you can get your hands on. We want to keep ourselves healthy and happy. However, this is not always feasible (and I'll be the first to admit that!), and you sometimes need to cut corners when money is tight.

Quietly productiveish

I got in on time to work today, somehow. I was still feeling groggy from not getting to sleep till around 10:00 PM, so I slept in till 6:45 (we leave at 7:00). But, as soon as I did get to work, there was a bit of a backlog of stuff to catch up on, in addition to new stuff coming in throughout the day.

This is why it's so important to be nice to people, no matter how rarely you see those people. One of the office ladies mentioned that she'd like to start up with a coffee service. They come in, deliver the coffee and sugar and filters and everything else, install the fancy coffee maker, and replenish every week. My department has that service, but there's no sense in getting me such a thing, because I'm the only one here that drinks the stuff, and even I only have it on occasion. This is why having the coffee service here would be a Very Good Thing.

I got back to my desk, made two phone calls, and had all the information within two minutes flat. I went back to the office lady, and passed it along. Hopefully, in a week or two, we'll be having decent coffee, rather than the stuff made in not-so-great individual pots. Those nice ones are fully insulated, so you're not burning the coffee with the heat from the warming plate. Also, those makers have three pots, meaning that we can have a LOT of the stuff waiting about, rather than empty out the pots so many times a day.

And all this because I know how to be nice to people, so that they'll return the niceness when I need them.

Yay for Nemo, boo to laziness.

I was supposed to get up early this morning, cook up a little something, and go with Steve to his church. They've all heard of me, and would love to meet me, but I'm not a morning person, especially on the weekends. So, last night, I asked Steve to wake me up when he woke up, so that the two of us could go together. Unfortunately, I found my Finding Nemo, which is (in my opinion) the greatest movie of all time, bar none. It's a beautiful story, and there are scenes that make me cry every single time.

So there we were, watching Nemo at 12:00 midnight. Around 1:30 or so, the movie finished, and we went to sleep. His church holds services at 10 AM. That means getting up at around 8:00 to get ready, get the stuff together, and be out the door by 9:30. At 8:00, my body was so exhausted, that I begged off, and kept sleeping. When I did wake up at 9:30 or so, Steve was just about ready to go out the door. Boo to me. I wish I could've gone with him.

Of course, the laziness didn't stop there. He came home that afternoon, and asked me if I was running low on cigarettes, or anything else. To my horror, I was. So I offered to come with him to the store, and snag a carton, and maybe do some light grocery shopping. We're running a bit low on vegetables, and probably need to get some more at some point. Unfortunately, by the time I was ready to leave, I instantly got bitten by the lazy bug again, and asked Steve if he didn't mind dashing off on his own to snag the goods. He, being the ultimate in Wonderful Guy™, had no problem with it, and went off on his way. Of course, five minutes after he left, the skies opened up into torrential rain.

When he got back, he told me in an amused voice that someone had dropped him a phone number on his car. Apparently, when Steve went into the store, the guy saw which car he'd gotten out of, and was intrigued. Someone tried to pick him up! That's so cool! Steve called the guy back, and explained about his situation, and how he's got someone already. We're meeting the guy tomorrow after work just to hang out for a while. He's in from Ohio, and will be going back in a week or so. It's bound to be fun, eh?

I feel like this weekend has gone by in a flash, because I did manage to get so much cooking done for the upcoming week. I do need another few days of being lazy, so thankfully, we get 4 July as a holiday. Unfortunately, it's in the middle of the week, so no three day weekend. But fortunately, it will feel like very short weeks when we get to work! Y'know, I think it'd be nice to have that setup during regular weeks. Even if it means working for an extra hour or so during the other days, having a mid-week break would be rather nice. That way, you're only at work for two days at a stretch. I'll let you know when I manage to become king of the world or something. That'll be my first decree.

Lazy lazy Friday

It's been one of those Fridays where I was busy at work, but not to the point of exhaustion, like some days. I figured out how to load up video to a PC computer from a camcorder, by switching the camcorder to PLAY mode, and hitting the play button, while setting the video capture thing from Windoze Movie Maker. It was pretty cool, if a bit slow. I'm guessing firewire would have been faster? I'm not sure. Either way, it was pretty neat to know that it's possible, and relatively easy to do! Mind, I'm not going to start cheating on my mac, so no worries there. She's the first lady of my heart anyway.

Steve, on the other hand, didn't have as easy a time as I did. He was there at work from 8:30 in the morning till close to 9:00 at night! On top of that, because he was in the middle of a project, he never did go to lunch. I figured that by the time he got home, he'd be exhausted, so we nixed the plans to go to see that new Pixar movie. Instead, we stayed in, and ate some bean sprouts (spiced with mustard, cumin, chili, lemon, salt, and pepper) and rice, and some fresh popcorn (popcorn, olive oil, salt). I find that when you pop the kernels in olive oil, they have a very rich and buttery taste. I love it! Also, before sprinkling on the salt, I ground it down in a spice grinder to get it very fine, so that it adheres to the fluffy popcorn more easily. It was divine.

I am pleased that we've started to get involved in doing things more often than we used to. Saturdays and Sundays used to be "let's lie around and be lazy, and pretend like we don't actually have to get up to do anything." I'm sure it was driving Steve slowly mad, because we're funny like that. He's very introverted, but still likes to get out and do things. As extroverted as I am, I prefer to mooch around in the house. Either way, we've always found ways to amuse ourselves, whether it's sitting around the house, or going out.

The kitchen needed a mass overhaul type cleaning, so I figured that when it was done, I'd give Steve a treat. In the filter of the coffee maker, I put in 1/2 cup of ground coffee, cinnamon, cayenne, clove, nutmeg, and then topped it off with the rest of the ground coffee that I needed for a full pot. I filled the coffee maker. I then poured a twinge of vanilla extract, 1 tablespoon per cup of water of cocoa powder (unsweetened), and a few tablespoons of sugar. I turned on the coffee machine, and let the smells waft throughout the kitchen. It smells quite lovely, and is delicious straight up, with nothing added. If you've read my book, you know how I feel about "omni subs" or foods that substitute omnivorous ingredients (tofu, seitan, tempeh, soymilk), so I won't get into it here. I'll maybe cover that stuff in a later entry.

I started some beans soaking, and another set of moong dal to sprout. I think it's so cool that I can increase the amount of food I can put on the table, just by adding water to my beans, and letting them soak for a six hours, then air dry after draining them. They sprout on their own, and they're so cute! I almost (read: ALMOST) am tempted to get the stuff planted in my garden, so that I'll have plants, but I can't be bothered. I'm a bit too lazy for that to happen.

Maybe some day, eh?