Yesterday Lauren, Parker and myself had to run a few errands. We were gone for quite awhile and since the kids were so great I bought them a soda at Costco. $1.28 made them the happiest kids and bought me a few extra minutes to finish up what I needed to do. As we were leaving the parking lot of the last store Lauren told me she had to use the bathroom. Now, when Lauren says she needs to go potty......she means NOW!! I was not anywhere near a bathroom and I knew I didn't have much time. So in order to prevent wet pants, a soggy car seat, and a sad Lauren, I did what any good mom would do. I pulled into a parking spot, put the van in park and assisted Lauren. The privacy of our van, a baby wipe, and a Costco cup was all we needed. You can fill in the blanks. We finished it all off with hand sanitizer. Lauren was happy, I was happy and Parker was happy.
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Today I was explaining to Lauren that because her skin is so sensitive, she needs "special" sunscreen on her face or she will break out in hives. Later when I was giving her a bath she said," Mom, I am so glad you put that sunscreen on my face. I would hate it if bees flew in me." I was totally confused and asked her what she was talking about. She replied, "Well if I break out in hives, bees would for sure fly in me since that is where they live and that would be awful!!" 8-18-10
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My Funny Kids
Parker -" Mom, can me and Ben have a piece of chocolate?
Mom - I don't know. We need to ask his mom.
Parker - Why?
Ben - Because I am allergic to wheat.
Parker - What does allergic mean?
Mom - It means it makes you sick.
Parker - Oh. I am allergic to work. It makes me sick!"
11-29-12
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Parker age 4 - "Mom when I get married my wife will look just like you. She will be beautiful. She will have soft hair like you so I can run my fingers through it when we sleep. 11-7-12
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"Mom can I take a bath?" "Yes, Parker you may take a bath." "Woo hoo! You are the BEST mom ever!" 10-29-12
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Parker age 4 - I can't believe in all the years I've been alive that Dad has never showed me what fly spit looks like. 9-18-12
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"Today in school we got to play the Stocking Market. It was so fun. We got to buy, sell, and trade just like they do in New York." Maddie 8-31-12
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Yes, Parker you may say family prayer tonight. No, Parker you may not say them in dog. You need to say them in human. 8-20-12
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I just returned from the mailbox where we just got our new Friend and Ensign magazines. I came in the house and said, "Hey Maddie, we got a new Friend today." Maddie replied, "Oh yea, who is it?" funny!! 5-2-12
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Maddie is making a power point presentation for school using Microsoft. Our conversation went like this...
"Hey Maddie, what are you doing" "I am working on my microscopic presentation for school." 3-15-12
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Lauren is in her bedroom singing to the tune of "I Love To See The Temple" Her words are...."I love to see Hawaii, I'm going there some day." 2-29-12
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Maddie - "Mom, what is Grandpa's job at the bank?"
Mom - "He loans people money"
Maddie - "Oh, so you mean he's a LONER?" 1-9-12
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Maddie has been asked by Jeff to read the Book of Mormon everyday. Jeff checks in with her to see if she's done her reading for the day. Today Jeff asked her if she had done her reading and Maddie replied in a text from her i touch....."And it came to pass that Maddie has not yet done her reading." Ha, ha, ha....she's a witty little girl!!! 1-2-12
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Mom - "Parker your underwear is dirty. Please put on some new ones."
Parker - "No thanks mom, I like dirty underwear. It's my favorite kind." 12-20-11
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After Parker broke out in chicken pox he said to me..."Mom, I know how we can get rid of my chicken pox. You just put me in a sleeping bag and water me. Yep, that will do it." 12-14-11
Parker - "No thanks mom, I like dirty underwear. It's my favorite kind." 12-20-11
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After Parker broke out in chicken pox he said to me..."Mom, I know how we can get rid of my chicken pox. You just put me in a sleeping bag and water me. Yep, that will do it." 12-14-11
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Parker -"Mom, I know how to say dirt in spanish."
Mom - "Ok, how?'
Parker very proudly said - "mud" 12-6-11
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Lauren proudly says..."I know how to spell DVD!" 11-26-11
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Lauren says to me...."Mom, I think Parker's almost ready for Kindergarten. He's the right size. Everything but his arms and his hands. They're still too small. They need to get bigger." 11-16-11
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I went to get the mail and when I returned Parker asked me what was in the mailbox. I told him "nothing, just stuff that's boring". Parker quickly responded without hesitation, "You mean like church." What? I asked him. "You know, church, it's boring!!" 11-9-11
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Parker said to Jeff...."Dad, I like you, but only when you yell at the girls." 10-18-11
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After walking into Parker's room and seeing popcorn kernels all over the floor.....
Mom- "Parker, you sure know how to make good messes"
Parker - "That's right. I don't know how to make bad messes." 9-15-11
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As we were driving past a strip mall Maddie exclaims with lots of excitement...."Oh look a bookstore!" Jeff and I just laughed and told her to read it again. It was a Rebok store. Nope, not a Rebook store. 9-2-11
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In order for this to be funny, you need to know that Grandma is a whopping 4 feet 11 inches tall.
Parker - Mom can we go mini golfing when Grandma comes to visit?
Mom- Sure Parker, that sounds like fun. Let's ask Grandma if she wants to go.
Parker - Do you think she's tall enough? 8-26-11
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Maddie- Mom, I think you need to take me to the doctor.
Mom- Why what's wrong?
Maddie- It's my butt.
Mom-Uh-ho, does it hurt?
Maddie- No, I need a new one. Mine has a crack in it!! giggle, giggle, giggle...
She thinks she's so funny. 8-11-11
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I need to begin by saying there is NO ROD in our tub.
Lauren was in the bathroom standing on the edge of the tub dancing, twirling, and spinning. I told her she'd better be careful or she might fall and crack her head. Lauren responded, "Don't worry Mom, I'll just hold tight to the iron rod. That will always keep me safe." 3-2-11
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Parker got out of bed tonight and asked me for a pencil. I asked him why an almost 3 year old needed a pencil at bedtime. He replied, "so I can color on my wall." Well, at least he was honest!! 1-3-11
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Lauren came into the bathroom crying. I asked her what was wrong. She replied, "I just don't know what I'm going to do about all my gray hair." 12-8-10
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We were all in the kitchen this afternoon making sandwiches for lunch and Jeff says, "I am so smart." Before he could tell us why he is so smart Lauren quickly responded, "You're not that smart!" It was hilarious .... 11-26-10
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Maddie says "Hey Lauren say I am a loser"
Lauren responds by saying "Maddie is a loser."
Ha, Ha, Ha, bet Maddie didn't expect Lauren to be so clever!! 11-21-10
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I am not sure if these next two should be funny but they are...
I was in my bedroom cleaning up trying to find the terrible smell. I kept thinking I would find a sour sippy cup of milk or a dirty diaper that somehow made it under the bed or in a dark corner somewhere. Lauren came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was looking for a terrible smell but couldn't find it anywhere. She responded by saying, "well mom, maybe the Holy Ghost farted." maybe so Lauren...maybe so. 10-28-10
Today after church we were all in the gym while Jeff was helping clean up the chairs. I needed to talk to someone so I left and told Jeff to keep an eye on the kids. Well, we all know how difficult that is when you are busy stacking chairs. I came back to see the accordion curtains to the chapel open and Parker was on the stand RUNNING and STOMPING on the piano keys. I sent Jeff to get him because I couldn't stop laughing......I have a warped sense of humor!! 10-31-10
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We have a board game that has little super hero figures in it. Jeff & Parker were playing it & Parker picked up Spiderman & Spiderwoman. He showed them to Jeff and said, "Look, Spiderman & Spider Mommy." I'm so glad Parker thinks of me that way!!! 10-6-10
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While driving in the car today Lauren told me that she knows exactly what she wants to be when she grows up. "I want to be a mom just like you." OK, I said and why is that? Lauren responded, "so I can be the boss." 9-24-10
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In primary today Lauren was the VIP. She was asked to come to the front of the room and they read a paragraph all about Lauren. Then they asked her, "Lauren, what is one of your most favorite things to do?" She replied in total seriousness, "Breathe, I love to breathe." 8-29-30
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Today I was outside with my back to Jeff. I bent over to wind up the hose and Jeff said, "That is my favorite thing to watch" and Maddie said, "What? Watching mom work??" 8-27-10
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Tonight for FHE, I asked Maddie to read the first part of the 13th article of faith. It went like this...."We believe in being honest, true, chaste, VIOLENT, virtuous, and in doing good to all men...." It made me laugh since my kids seem to be rather "violent" during FHE. Appropriate!!?? 8-23-10
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The Family
Maddie
8 years old
Lauren
5 years old
Parker Boy
3 years old
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1 comment:
That is hilarious...I think I laughed so hard because I have had to do the same out here in Texas when we are out in the middle of no where..."you gotta do somethin'!"
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