A Little Balance...Mother Pose

Post as seen on Couragezone.com/blog

My first experience with a yoga balance (or pose) was me wobbling on one foot in a quiet room, hoping the other 30 participants in the yoga class wouldn't notice when I toppled over. "Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall," I thought. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. One thud was mine- but not the only one. Others were tumbling too-- and then getting right back up.

Maybe you're a mom like me that feels she is teetering on one foot, trying something unknown with each child's new stage or personality. Maybe you feel like you're the only one who falls. You're not alone! As a yoga instructor here I offer the principles of physical balance. They might help you attempt one of the most difficult and fulfilling balance posture of all- Mother Pose.

Principles of Mother Pose

1. A balance pose a process, not a goal. With each breath we consciously calm ourselves and then reach higher; balancing is a discovery process of our current strengths and weaknesses. Acknowleding the journey of motherhood helps us to be patient with ourselves and gives meaning to the trials.
2. Balance is not just for the flexible or athletic. Accept that anyone, even you, can learn balance. Often we think that powerful mothering is for everyone else, for women who are in some secret club we're not a part of. This is not true. You have the wisdom, strength and courage to become the mother you want to be.
3. You need a safe, accepting place to attempt a balance. Allow yourself and others to make mistakes. Surround yourself with people who are positive and believe in you, like The Power of Moms. If you are lacking support, join start a Learning Circle. [hyperlink to learning circle page]
4. You need a flat surface. Identify what things are stressing you out and tipping you over. Take the necessary steps to reduce or eliminate the stress.
5. We have to fall to make progress. Sometimes in a balance posture we get tempted to jam ourselves in a pose, holding on for dear life, hoping nobody sees us fall. This tendency is steeped in fear- fear that we're not living up to some invisible standard. As a mother, you are not on trial. You are part of a greater process that is refining you. If you reach and fall, you can get back up. Learn lessons from why you toppled and try again.
6. Balances are not stagnant--you are actually moving back and forth, but at a nearly imperceptible rate. Complete calm and peace are unrealistic ends; learning how to calm and gain peace amid the swaying of mothering is attainable. Each day your balance might change; my yesterday may not be my today given a new set of conditions. That's normal.
7. Our eyes can be our greatest tool and biggest enemy. Finding a gaze point, like a fleck of color or light in the room, can stabilize your entire body. However, looking into a mirror during a yoga pose throws your balance off. Why? Our physical eyes deceive us, while "seeing from within" tunes us into the muscles that actually hold the balance. Do your eyes ever throw you off when studying yourself or other moms? We tend judge ourselves harshly in the mirror of motherhood. If we instead can focus our attention on what brings peace, then balance will come more naturally.
8. Balance emminates from your core. Develop a strong center; search out your mothering values. Write them and revisit them often. Make your mothering goals based on those central values and desires.
9. Ground your entire foot: ball, toe and heel, for the more nerve endings that make contact with the floor, the more stable you are. I was shocked when I began planting all of my toes (especially my ring-finger toe). I was going places in balances I had never gone before. Are any parts of your soul being neglected? Address the fundamental needs in your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and social health.
10. We tend to hold our breath when stressed. Without air, we aren't going anywhere! We must do those things that fuel us to bravely attempt Mother Pose. What do you need to thrive as a person? Here is a wonderful article from April on identifying the "air" you uniquely need in motherhood.[hyperlink the article Mommy is a person]
11. There is no "right" way to do the balance. Each body is completely different, and therefore your pose it not my pose. Just as we all have different leg lengths and spinal mobility, our children, experience and circumstances are all unique. Your Mother Pose is a beautiful, personal thing and is good enough!
12. Balance postures take the most amount of time in a yoga practice and we start on our weakest side. Balance isn't something that occurs quickly because we may need to strengthen weak muscles or stretch overused muscles in order to achieve a pose. Which areas of your life will need tweaked before balance can occur for you? Address the area that is affecting the others the most. For me, this is regular eating and sleep. When I skip meals or just graze off of my children's plates it's a domino effect. I am grumpy and fatigued. I stop cooking, I overspend on eating out, and let the house go. When I am healthy and rested I am patient, fun, effective and happy.

It may seem odd, but when I'm on one foot, holding a crooked leg up in the air, I feel powerful. I feel brave. I don't know that it's particularly pretty or noteworthy, but I do know that the people around me get more courage to try. Mother Pose is something we are all attempting-- and as we go for it other moms will follow. "Namaste" the ending word in a yoga practice. It means "The divine spark in my acknowledges the divine spark in you."

Namaste.

A Little Parenting...25 Things to Do With a Wiggly Toddler

I have a toddler boy that is adorable and active! Here are some ideas I've collected to help keep us both sane when he gets the wiggles.

1. Put him in an empty bath tub, give him water colors and let him go.
2. Put rice in a cake pan and let her pour from cup to cup.
3. Put him outside everyday regardless of weather.
4. Give her a small spray bottle of water and a rag. Set him loose on the fridge front, bathroom tile, linoleum, etc.
5. Make homemade play dough; give him a rolling pin.
6. When reading aloud, ask him many questions. Get him pointing, naming, giggling over each picture.
7. Have him run and tag the front door, run back and give you a high five, and repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
8. Find an empty box we can fit in; stay in the room with him to ensure safety- but get that book you’ve wanted to read for a while, because he’ll be busy for a while.
9. Teach him how to build a fort with the cushions.
10. Let her spread the PB and J.
11. Play with her for at least 10 minutes at a game he loves. This will satisfy much of the need for attention that leads to naughtiness.
12. Bubbles!
13. Boys tend to be tactile learners; stacking cups and plastic containers in an accessible cabinet can be fun.
14. Fill the kitchen sink with soapy foam; get out a big ladle and some cups and let her go at it. Let him “do dishes.”
15. If you have a play house, let them throw a safe ball out of it.
16. Find an old spoon and let him dig in dirt.
17. Music facilitates learning like no other activity. Make up silly songs to everything- be silly and tease your children with music.
18. When he is feeling mean and you are feeling mean, tickle him.
19. Don’t be afraid to repeat activities often; if she is getting restless, immediately choose a “go-to.”
20. Let the little guy “help” you in all of your tasks until he discovers his blocks or trains again. You’ll be teaching him valuable skills. This one can be hard because we want to get things done, but the boy will be grown soon and might now want to help anymore. This may be one of the most special times of your lives.
21. Play a favorite dance song of yours; let loose and dance around. Your boy will either laugh or join in; both are fun.
22. Use your pull up bar low on the door frame- and let him swing.
23. Find markers and a notebook; let him go to.
24. Assess his needs- is he hungry, tired, wet, overstimulated, bored, or lonely? Help him fulfill that need.
25. Replace every negative thought immediately with a positive one. Instead of, “My kids drive me crazy” think on purpose “This is a phase; Jonny really is a good kid” or “My kids must be bored. What can I do to help them?” See an article on this here.

A Little Motherng...The Power of Moms.com

I used to feel like I had stumbled into mommyhood by accident- I got married and *poof* -four children appeared! There are amazing days of love and fun...and many challenging days in between. What do you do if being a patient,loving, creative, disciplined, organized, sensitive, knowledgeable mother doesn't come naturally? Because it didn't for me.

Enter: The Power of Moms.com.



Within two weeks of searching the thoughtful, realistic and optimistic articles Powerofmoms.com site provides, I gained direction concerning some of the main struggles I am facing as a mother. (The site is free, by the way!) Their learning circles, retreats, and newsletters offer support, training and insight that will lift any exhausted mother soul.

The title of the organization "The Power of Moms, A Gathering Place for Deliberate Mothers" taught me that I hadn't really made the hard and fast decision to mother. I had just kind of fallen into it. Mothering for me now is a conscious choice, and I feel much more full of purpose. Mothering isn't about diapers or errands anymore- it's about relationships and love. I am much happier now with that focus.

"It's going to be hard and that's ok!" is an article that calmed my stressed out heart. "Every stage of motherhood has its ups and downs. Every week and every day has its ups and downs. We might as well accept it and prepare for it where possible. And once we’ve got that acceptance and preparation in place, it’s a lot easier to enjoy our lives."


Do you resent housework like I do? Does that resentment flow towards the family? I had some serious negativity from the laundry, dishes and messes that four small children and a couple of busy adults create. Then this week I read one of the posts- "What's the point of housework?" Wow- what wisdom I gained when the founder of the site, California resident April Perry said! "If it’s just about “the house,” then I really don’t like my job. But if it’s about the RELATIONSHIP, I feel like the most important lady in the world. Funny how one little idea can make such a difference, but it absolutely does." This week my approach to the house has completely changed and my children are much happier. My children actually want to be with me.


Workshops and Retreats

The Power of Moms hosts conferences all over the United States. Themes include:

Taking Care of the Person Inside the Mom (creating margins and balance in your life, finding time to pursue your talents and interests, having more fun, using positive thoughts and realistic expectations to deal with the hard stuff, understanding more about how motherhood can help you become the person you really want to be)

Family Systems (assessing your needs and desires for your children and family so you can create systems that will take your family where you want to go, concrete steps for establishing a family economy, family discipline system and family identity)

Making Great Ideas into Reality (strategies for incorporating what you’ve learned in this conference into your real life, simple ways to organize your time, tasks and space so you can enjoy more progress and less stress in your life).


What are Learning Circles?

part girls’ night out (with a meaningful purpose – in addition to having a great time)

part book group (with a lot less pages to read…yep, you can complete the reading for each month in about 30 minutes)

part support group (we all need more opportunities to learn from, encourage, and even sometimes commiserate with other moms)

part motherhood course (because you deserve a monthly class to help you grow yourself, build your fellow mothers, and shape the future that starts right in your own home)

One of the best aspects of The Power of Moms is that the site invites all women to contribute. They invite everyone to submit articles, become trainers and share wisdom. It is a power and refreshing experience to be surrounded by welcoming rather than competitive mothers!

A Little Perspective...Love More

By Linda Eyre, as published on The Power of Moms.

About five years ago, we decided to add two more words to our already established three word family mission statement (to be revealed at a different time). These two words: LOVE MORE are so simple to write, simple to say, often hard to put into action.


When everything is going well, the weather is good, the kids are responsive to your instructions, your husband is buying you fun Christmas gifts, your neighbors are bringing delicious goodies, it’s easy to love more. BUT when a child is driving you crazy with incessant whining, teenagers are constantly pushing your buttons and “accidentally” but consistently missing their curfew, when husbands have no clue about what is required to put your house back together after the Christmas extravaganza and is quietly reading a book by the fire or when your in-laws openly disapprove of the way you run your family, then is when “Love More” gets hard!

One summer at our cabin in Idaho where we have a tennis court and where all our children learned to play tennis during the summer with their father as the master instructor, our neighbor across the fence became incensed about the tennis balls that were landing periodically on his lawn. Keep in mind that this neighbor was extremely meticulous. The thought of having the turf on his lawn “dented” by tennis balls was just more than he could take. One morning he came out on his balcony and started yelling, swearing and profaning at our children who had popped yet another ball onto his turf! My husband, Richard, came out of the cabin, just in time to hear the tirade and was equally incensed! A very nasty interchange ensued and everybody was upset.


After the heat of the moment, Richard felt sad about some things that he had said and when we returned home, he found the neighbor’s address and sent him one of the books that he had written with a sincere apology in the front cover. The next time we saw that neighbor at the lake several weeks later the neighbor said with a cold glare, “I burned your book!”

At that point, it was all that Richard could do to keep from laughing, but luckily was able to restrain himself! He realized that poor guy had more going on in his life than we had realized. There were things that we would never know about the hard things in his life, but our job was just to simply “love more” by feeling sorry for him and to honestly be able to say to ourselves that he was a guy who had lots of problems and just needed to be forgiven for his indiscretions. Otherwise, his problems became our problems too!

I heard a wonderful quote this year about holding hard feelings toward those who have wronged us. It goes something like this: “Letting bad feelings fester toward people who have wronged you is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” The perfect antidote is just to “Love More”. One of our daughters who is also the mother of five children actually made a wooden plaque that hangs above their front door that has “Love More” engraved in it. It’s a great reminder as the kids walk out the door, that when they are at school, whether they are being persecuted or just see someone who needs someone to say “hi” to them, those two words are also engraved on their minds as they dive into the world each day.

So here is a challenge for you: Whether the bad feelings are between you and a child who has ADD or OCD, you and your husband who isn’t as supportive as you want him to be, a bully who is making your child’s life miserable, your mother who criticizes you incessantly, a neighbor who wishes your would burn your bikes and scooters or even a dog who has chewed up your beloved new leather shoes, just let those two words cross your mind at the height of your dismay and I can almost guarantee it will bring thoughts of compassion rather than condemnation and peace rather than feelings of persecution.

A Little Parenting - Teaching Kids to Cook

"Oh I never let my kids in the kitchen. I'm too afraid they would get hurt."

This response came to me during a cooking class I was teaching at my church. This woman's daughter (who was a senior in high school) had babysat my children the night before. The teen called me during my date to ask me how to fix the dinner I had left on the kitchen counter: a box of macaroni and cheese and a plate of fruit.

I was shocked. Was this mother serious. She also had other children at or about to enter the teen years. None of them knew how to cook? I took a quick pool of the other women in the group. Out of all of their children, no one really knew their way around the kitchen. How were those kids going to survive the first time on their own? The first mom replied that she learned to cook after she got married.

I was asked about my own children and when they started learning how to cook. My answer? "As soon as they can stand." Kids love to participate in the kitchen. Cooking and nutrition are important skills to master. It is also a great way to spend time with your kids. Here is my timetable of when kids should learn certain skills:

The Love Magnet, age 4, helping to make oatmeal cookies in 2007.

Ages 2-7: Kids love to dump, pour, stir, drop, and make messes. I keep kid-size aprons around because I know that when I pull out the cookie pans, my youngest will be pulling up a chair so she will be tall enough to help me.

Age 8: this is the magic age in my kitchen when my kids get their first real cooking lesson. I always start with spaghetti....without a recipe and without commercially prepared sauce. Sauce-from-a-jar tastes too sweet to me. So I teach the kids how to create their own tomato sauce with plain canned tomato sauce and adding fresh garlic, anchovy paste, and spices. My kids really get into it and love to come up with their own blend of secret spices. Some are amazing.......others not so much. (The year Firstborn used cinnamon and nutmeg in his tomato sauce will go down in family legend). Wednesday night is always spaghetti night at my house and one of the kids does the cooking. When spaghetti is mastered, then cookies and brownies from scratch follow (dessert for Spaghetti night!) followed by grilled cheese sandwiches and scrambling eggs. After that, I let the kids browse my cookbook collection or watch cooking shows to come up with the next recipe they want to try. They usually want to try their favorite foods.

Ages 8-12: Knife skills! When I cook, I turn my kids into sous chefs and let them take care of the veggies and fruits. I can monitor them for safety and demonstrate when they need it. The kids need to pass of knife skills as part of their Scouts program so it does double duty.

Age 12: By this time my kids they can follow most recipes. For breads, I always start with biscuits, muffins, and quick breads, followed by yeast breads. This is also the time to learn cakes from scratch. That way, when the child comes to me at 10:00 at night and tells me he needs cake/cookies/baked treat for school the next day, I can reply "Great! You know where they ingredients are. Be sure to clean up the kitchen before you go to bed." WOOT!

Secondborn making his famous baconated deviled eggs at Grandma's, Thanksgiving 2010.

My kids are making me proud in the kitchen. Firstborn (age 18) makes an incredible grilled pork loin with a mustard/vinegar sauce that tastes restaurant quality. Secondborn (14) loves making deviled eggs in all their variations. Thirdborn (10) once chose to make pink lemonade cupcakes for a book report (In the book The Seven Silly Eaters, the family made a pink lemonade birthday cake). Even The Love Magnet (8) loves to help in the kitchen. She is still at the dump/pour stage, but I plan on letting her learn knife skills when she has better manual dexterity. Having Down syndrome, we take things slower with her, but we still treat her the same as her brothers. She wants to learn how to cook, too.

Bring your kids into the kitchen and make some memories!

A Little Parenting... Teachers Loving Your Child

The last few weeks have been difficult. Every time I drop my little one off at school I just want to scream, "Love my daughter!" When I pick her up from school she is the first one out the door. One hand on the door knob, one hand on the jamb, she jumps up and down when she sees me. I swoop in and pick her up and I get a big hug. She leans back and looks at me with a "don't ever leave me again" look. (It's amazing how expressive a non-verbal child can be.) And I know she feels loved again.

At her last school I knew her teachers loved her and she loved them back. Since the move, we are more limited in our resources and our choice of schools has narrowed to one. I want to explain to her teachers that they have to be honest with her because she will know how they feel. I want them to see her abilities instead of dwelling on her inabilities; to see her dynamic personality and strength not the fact that she gets tired when she walks for too long. I want them to realize that the same determination that makes her fall on the floor when she doesn't want to do something can be directed towards learning and working.

Before the move we discovered that she can identify her entire uppercase alphabet. We were talking about lowercase alphabet and sight words, the prospect of beginning to learn to read was looming ahead. Now I feel I am just trying to make sure they don't leave her in her wheelchair all day.
I know my feelings aren't any different than any parents, because I feel the same way about my other kids. I think the difference with her is that she is easier to ignore. This move has been most difficult for that reason. Each day, for all my kids, I want to take them to school in the morning knowing that they will learn from someone who cares about children and not just a quota. I want their teachers to be happy when they do well and excited to see their smiles. I used to feel that, I hope I will again. Until then I will silently plead as I drop them off for school, "love my child."

A Little Practicality... Useful Chirstmas Gifts

Here comes Santa Claus!  I don't know about you, but I really battle my practical side when it comes to Christmas shopping.  I want to get my kids awesome things they will love, but I don't want a basement full of worthless toys!  In fact, one more toy might just put me over the edge ;).

So here are a few gifts your kiddos will actually get some use out of (and they won't make you nuts).

Kids Backpacks
Your kids go to school, sleepovers at Grandma's, play dates, they can always use a backpack.  This one is cute.

Kid-sized Tables and Chairs
My kids have Lack Side Tables from IKEA in their rooms.  They sturdy and come in all sorts of colors and only cost $8.  I pair it with a couple $8 kid stools, also IKEA.  See it in my little boy's room.

A Journal
They can work on their handwriting and syntax while chronicling their lives.  Get one featuring a design to fit their personality.  My daughter loves horses.

Educational Toys
Of course, Christmas isn't all that practical.  Toys are inevitable.  But who says they can't be fun and educational?  Like these...

And these...

 Merry Christmas!

A Little Sanity... 5 Ways to Help Your Kids Fight Cabin Fever

1. Get out of the house each day.  Run errands, go play at a friend’s house, take a short walk, go to a museum, or go sledding…a simple change of scenery can make a big difference!

2. Get crafty.  Take advantage of the extra indoor time to bring out the artist in your little ones.  Stock up on paint, canvases, paper, glue, and markers.  When they get bored, pull out the supplies and let their imaginations run.  When I was younger I would spend hours making paper dolls with my mom and sister.  I didn’t ever play with them, but I loved designing their clothes!

3. Try some experiments.  I love the book Glues, Brews and Goos!  There are recipes for all kinds of fun and easy experiments for kids.  You can grow crystals or make your own non-Newtonian matter (the stuff that seems to be solid when it is still but it drips like a liquid when moving).  Or try your hand at cooking and baking.  Make things you normally wouldn’t, like homemade pasta noodles or bagels, just to see how they turn out.  You might find a few new skills yourself and your kids will love to help pour and stir!

4. Imaginative play.  Find some fun ways to play make believe inside the house.  Here are some our favorite inside games:

Dress up

Make a fort

Turn cardboard boxes into cars, airplanes, space ships

Pretend a closet is a secret hideout

Play ‘house’

Or, take advantage of a box full of packing peanuts...

5. Exercise!  Kids need to burn off energy and that can be much harder in the winter months.  Think about how much they unknowingly exercise in the summer- my kids ride their bikes and scooter everywhere, we swim at the pool several days a week, we go on family walks around the neighborhood, and they play outside with friends for hours.  In the winter, we don’t do any of that.  Here are a few ideas to get your kids moving so they can burn off all that extra energy and stay healthy:

Kid’s exercise DVD’s- check your local library for these.  Let your kids pick what they want to try: yoga, martial arts, aerobics, etc.  They’ll be more inclined to do it if they choose it.

Turn exercise into a game.  We have races up and down the stairs when we start to feel ‘crazy.’  Or we crab walk from one room to another.  Measure how high your kids can jump by putting a piece of masking or painters tape on the wall.  Have them jump and try to touch it.  Keep putting the tape higher and they will keep jumping to touch it! 

Have a DANCE PARTY! 

How do you keep your kids from ‘bouncing off the walls’ during the winter?

A Little Parenting... Improving Sleep Habits in Kids

Now that my kids are back in school, our Summer sleep habits are starting to have an effect. I struggle to keep my kids in bed, they struggle to get to sleep and change their habits. So the other night I reached for my copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I read the chapter on seven to fourteen year-olds and realized that the chronic tummy aches and morning whining were symptoms of sleep deprivation. With the days getting shorter, bedtime can be earlier.

Now the problem is how to help them get to sleep. We have bedtime routines and rituals that vary from child to child. My five-year-old listens to music, my four-year-old has his favorite bear and blanket. My older girls struggle to settle for the night, especially my oldest. She has an imagination that never slows, so rather than fighting it we try to work with it. Some of the things we have tried in the past are:

Magic pillow spray, we spray it on her pillow playing up the magic effects of the spray. I don't use it often but instead try to keep it as a treat. I also emphasize that the spray won't work if they get up, the have to be lay down and most importantly, believe that it will work.

Massage. I started baby massage with all four of my kids (not always successfully.) My son does not like his eyes or feet touched, but he loves having his cheeks stroked. When my daughter was in the hospital, understanding baby touch really helped. Sometimes an IV would prevent me from holding her hand, but I knew from experience some of the other forms of touch she might respond to, such as her eyebrows or jawline. I know this may sound weird, but touch is important to all of us and can have an especially calming effect. Think of how many kids ask to have their backs tickled.

Dream fairies, this is a sensory relaxation technique using mental focus to relax. First, I ask for a place they would like to go in their dreams. Then with a light touch on their nose, mouth, cheeks, eyes, ears, and forehead, I tell them the things they will smell, taste, feel, see, hear, and experience there. For example, if they wanted to go to the beach, with their eyes closed I would describe that smell of the ocean, the taste of salt in the air, the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore. I might describe the way the sun feels on their face, the sand beneath their feet, the sound of the gulls flying overhead, etc. You have to use your imagination.

Progressive muscle relaxation. There are many methods, but what works best for us is, I tell my daughter to imagine her body increasing in weight. It is growing heavier as she sinks deeper into the bed. It starts in her tummy, as her core slowly sinks into the bed, then I move to her hips and shoulders, legs and arms, and finally head, hands, and feet. I keep my voice slow and soft.

My hope is that my kids can learn techniques now that will help them to calm down in many situations. And if an extra five minutes at night stops the morning crazies, I'll take it.

A Little Mothering... Eat, Pray, Love

It is midnight and I just returned from seeing this movie.  thoughtful sigh.  First of all, it was longer than I expected and just a little different than I expected.  I have not read the book.  I did see an interview with the author on Oprah (does that count?).

 On a side note: I believed Julia Roberts' performance completely.

There are so many things to glean from this story.  There were several issues that I could relate to or found interesting.  The one that sticks out most in my mind was the idea that when she loves someone, she puts so much of herself into loving him that she looses herself.  Umm... hello.  It isn't that love itself is bad.  It's that she loves so much that in the end there is nothing left.

There is a moment in the movie when her friend chuckles and notes that she used to look like her ex, but now she looks like her current beau.  Kinda like how people begin to resemble their dogs.

I have heard similar comments before.  I have heard, "You didn't like to do that before you met him" or "Isn't that his thing?"  I can see that I have a tendency to throw myself into relationships so deeply that I don't really exist after a while.  Consciousness if the first step in correction.

So, I have learned through trial and error not to let this happen to me.  I have done a lot of soul searching and have figured out how to keep myself intact and still be in love with my significant other.  After all, I am the one he fell in love with in the first place, right?

But what about this same concept as it relates to motherhood?  Have you ever loved anything so much as you love your children?  We would, and DO, sacrifice and suffer for them.  The other day in the drive-thru line, my six-year-old daughter told me that one day I would understand how much she loves me.  Guess where she got that?

There is no way to measure a mother's love, no way to even understand it unless you are a mother.  So can we fall into this trap as mothers?  Can we be too selfless?  Can we give to them until there is nothing left of us?  Is it selfish to take care of ourselves too?  I don't really know the correct answers to these questions.

But for myself, I think I will try to maintain a balance me between me: the mom, and me: the person.  It's like on an airplane, when your oxygen mask falls, you are supposed to secure your mask first, then assist others.  You can't help anyone when you are passed out on the aircraft floor.

A Little Parenting... Home-made Baby Food

With the birth of my daughter, I decided I wanted to provide baby food that was both good for her, as well as cost effective.  I went back and forth about whether or not I should home make her baby food.  After talking to dozens of moms, consulting message boards, and searching the web about the subject, I decided I would make at least some of my own baby food.

 The following is what I have learned:

-You make a real mess of your kitchen.  But it is very worth it!

-The rest of your family looks at you like you are crazy.  Why on Earth would you make your own baby food?  Disregard their comments.

-It has tons of benefits!!  It’s extremely affordable!!  And I know exactly what is going into my little one’s tummy.

-Vegetables are easy…meat a little bit more time intensive…and I haven’t ventured into fruits (simpler to just purchase in my opinion).

So, how do you make your own baby food?  It’s simple.  Purchase fresh fruit, vegetables, beans, or meat at your local grocery store or farmer’s market.  Cook them at home.  Most vegetables can be steamed.  Baking is also a great method for preserving flavor and nutrients.  Puree in a blender, Magic Bullet, or food processor, adding water to thin.   

 Freeze them.  I put mine in ice cube trays.  Each ice cube is approximately a one ounce serving.  Once they are frozen, pop them out of the ice cube trays and put them in freezer bags.  Label the bags with what it is and when you froze it.  In general, most foods are good for 3 months.  When your baby is ready for a meal, just pop a few into the microwave and you have a home made meal for your sweet little baby!

There are dozens of websites out there, but the best I have found is www.wholesomebabyfood.com.  They tell you everything from when to start certain foods…to how to prepare and store them.  Check them out!  

We have tried lots of different foods at our house, but the ones that turn out the best are white potatoes, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, carrots, peas, beans, broccoli, cauliflower, and chicken.  Let me know what foods you have tried and liked.  Happy baby food making!

A Little Parenting... Sign Language

We had an opportunity recently to attend an event in the deaf community. As we arrived my daughter began to look around at everyone signing. She turned to me and signed, "Mommy, signing." While I knew she knows the sign for mommy, I had no idea she knew the sign for signing. As I looked at my husband who was also amazed by her little sentence, she pulled my chin to really look at her and again signed, "Mommy, signing." It was as if she was telling me that this was her language. Overwhelmed by this conversation with my nonverbal child, I began to cry and signed back, "Yes, signing."

(Signing "Thank You," one of her first signs.)

Since that day we have focused a lot on sign language and it is surprising what she has to say. One night when I was reading Pocket Full of Kisses to her, she looked up at me and signed "Raccoon." This wasn't a sign I had taught her but rather one she had learned from watching a Signing Time video. The videos have been great for the whole family. We have a few, but we also check them out from the library.

Another source I have been using for learning sign language is a sight called Signing Savvy. When ever I come upon a word that would be useful to know I look it up. They also have a daily sign and tips for learning conversational ASL.

YouTube also has videos that can help you learn sign language (or really anything for that matter.) A search for ASL lessons will return plenty of videos.

And last, but not least, look to your school system. If your child is involved in Early Intervention, or speech delay is a problem, your school district will have a number of resources. Many districts can send someone to your home to discuss your options and help your family learn sign language. If there is not a speech delay or you would like to learn just for yourself, there may be a continuing education class through the school district as well.

American Sign Language is a beautiful form of communication and is the third most common language used in the United States. Sometimes, my husband and I will find ourselves signing to each other when we find it is inappropriate to talk or we don't want to span a distance with yelling. I have also used my limited vocabulary to help out in public situations, kind of an awkward translating, but it works. Whether you know someone who signs or just want to learn, I think you will find sign language beneficial.

A Little Parenting... Childbirth Education

I am currently great with child.  Baby #3!  I am mere weeks away from yet another delivery.  I was telling my husband the other day... now I remember, it gets to the point where you are willing to do anything to get that child out!  Well, I think it's safe to say that I am so there.  But childbirth isn't just about getting that child out, at least not for me.  It's about welcoming a new life.  Plus, I prefer to go sans pain meds (think I'm crazy?)  Maybe a little.  I'm not gunna lie, it hurts.  But it's important to me that the births of my children go the way I choose.  This is why I took childbirth education classes.  I learned everything from reproductive anatomy, to the stages of labor and what to expect.  So when I was yelling for an epidural in the midst of "transition" with my first baby, my husband (aka my birthing coach) reminded me that I was experiencing the last (and most painful) stage of labor and that it would only last a matter of minutes.  Knowing what was happening in a possibly stressful situation was invaluable and I honestly couldn't have done it without it.

I had to physically go to my classes.  But now, thanks to technology, they are available online.  Maybe I'll take the classes on my iPad :).  The classes are available starting tomorrow, April 20th, right here.  The price is pretty great too.

That's my two cents.  What's right for you?

Best, Aly

by Guest Contributor Amy Jones, CBE

In the midst of ever-changing maternity care, it is vital, now more than ever, to know how to increase your odds of a safe delivery. How can you do this?  One word... EDUCATION!  "Knowing is half the battle," right?

So, what makes for a positive, healthy birth experience? Is it minimal pain, the latest in technology?

Most parents have had both minimal pain and the latest technology and yet the majority still tell their "horror birth story" and come away with negative side effects from interventions that can impact them, socially and physically, for weeks or even years.

Obviously that's not where the answer lies. The birth of a baby represents the birth of a family!  It only makes sense that there's more to having a satisfying birth than the physical experience.

The #1 Factor In A Healthy Birth

Studies show that a positive, healthy birth is not measured by how much pain a woman experiences, but by:

• how well informed she felt, 
• how in control of the decision making she was, 
• and the quality of her labor support. 

In order to achieve a high level knowledge, informed decision making, and skilled labor support, education is essential.

The way to attain the most amount of quality childbirth education in the limited time that pregnancy offers is to seek out experienced, well-informed childbirth education classes.

How do you know if the classes you've chosen are the best offered? Here are three questions to ask the your potential childbirth educator...

1) Are you Independent or contracted?

Independent means that no hospital or care provider is paying them. They are not censored in teaching or have vested interest in "selling" you any procedure because of someone else's policies. Contracted classes vary in information and philosophy, but typically are just the opposite of independent courses with regards to the factors above.

2) What is the class size and length?

A small class size (8-10 couples or less) means that you more of your individual needs will be met and questions answered, which results in greater knowledge and security. Length is also a consideration because you can obviously receive and retain more information and skills in an 8 week or more class series than a weekend or 2 week "crash course."

3) What is your training, experience, and philosophy?

Look for an educator that stays well informed of current findings, is well read, attends conferences, and teaches from a viewpoint that supports your goals; i.e. if your goal is a natural, unmedicated birth, it makes sense to seek classes that emphasize normal, healthy birth and provides in-depth comfort techniques and coping measures.

Making the effort to become well-informed about childbirth itself, and the typical birth practices and options in your local area, is truly an investment with lifelong rewards of better health and memories that will stay with you forever.

Don't be left with the feeling, "If only I had known more or made different choices, would my birth have been more satisfying or healthy?" Take responsibility and provide yourself and baby with the best possible experience by seeking out quality childbirth education classes.

Amy Jones is a Certified Childbirth Educator, doula, member of CAPPA, DONA and past president of CELA of Southern Nevada.

Most recently, Amy has created Birthologie.com, an online resource dedicated to empowering expecting mothers with all the tools and resources necessary to experience the birth of their dreams.

A Little Parenting... I'm a Momma Bear!

I am a momma bear. Aren't all moms, really. Instinctively, my claws come out, sometimes without my knowing it. Pick on my babies and I just might scratch your eyes out. 

 I'm not a mean person, I usually don't even think mean things, I feel like most people are trying and aren't really bad, just maybe having a bad day or moment. But when it comes to my kids, that logic goes out the door. My glare is all Medusa, my stance becomes Godzilla, I could breathe fire and throw flames from my eyes, I'm just sure of it. Of course, no one sees this, it is some internal monster that threatens to rise to the surface. Usually, I can take a deep breath and compose myself before I lash out words that scream "defend yourself evil one."

When my little one was in the hospital for oh so long, I couldn't always protect her. "You want to draw blood by sticking her with a needle multiple times , until you figure out just how to do it right?" "Okay." "Oh, you would like to take her to the OR for a life-saving surgery that will almost kill her because someone misread a CT scan?" "Okay." But I did fight. I researched and asked questions, I looked into things and asked for other opinions. I called for meetings and learned to understand the terminology that seemed a foreign language. Because that is when I learned knowledge is power.

Know what you are talking about and people will take you seriously. Go into a situation armed. Stand up for your child, be their advocate. Be respectful, listen to and acknowledge others opinions, but if you feel strongly,don't back down. Sometimes when you come in claws out, you already have the other person on the defense and you lose ground. Now they are fighting you instead of working with you. Remind them that you love your child and want what is best for your child. Sometimes I will say things like, "I understand how you feel, but please understand that..." or "I realize that you feel ..., but in this situation..."  or "I know that you feel ..., but please understand that while you have a number of patients/students/clients to care for, my child is my main responsibility, and this is what I have found to work for us." Be respectful.

No one cares as much about your child as you do, stand up for them, learn about their needs, and show how you care. One of the things I discovered is that many of the professionals involved in my daughters care were comforted by the fact that she was going home to parents who would fight for her future. Someone told me the other day that fair doesn't mean everyone gets exactly the same, it means that everyone has their needs met in a way that works.

{Read all posts by Somer}

A Little Fitness... For Mommies

On nature shows, there are usually two scenes of mothers with babies: the lively mother prancing about with her young, or the passed-out mom with offspring climbing all over her.  If most days you feel like momma #2, there is help.  It is possible to overcome the exhaustion, sleep deprivation, frustration, and monotony that accompany mothering- and 30 minutes of mid-level exercise is the answer.  

Photo: "A Little Inspiration... Triathlete in Training"

Exercising daily actually increases our energy levels dramatically.  This combats the tiredness and loss of control we feel as mothers.  As energy levels increase, our capacity to perform physical tasks like floors, dishes, and chasing the baby grows.  We do more and tire less.  We start to lose weight, and that makes carrying around our own bodies easier (and more fun!).  Our muscles get stronger, and we ache less hauling around car seats and groceries.

A Little Parenting... Educational Toys for your Little Ones

I was recently looking into a new preschool for my son and the teacher was showing me some of the toys she lets the kids play with.  They are fun to play with and great learning tools too!  Learning Resource toys.  Check them out!

Here are a few I have on my list:

The cupcakes come apart and the cupcake have different shapes on the bottom of them.  You have to match the right icing to the cupcake and then the pan has the shapes as well so you have to put the cupcake in the right hole.

The cookie jar is fun too.  Each cookie has a number on the back side and then on the other side there are that many m&m treats on the cookie.

The ice cream is my favorite.  Each scoop of ice cream has the color printed on the inside of it.  You can count out the scoops of ice cream and make it as big as you want!

{Read all posts by Candace}

A Little Decorating... Creating a Kid-Friendly Home Office

by Aly

Welcome to my office.  I work from home.  Beyond this blog, I own an event management company, US Trisports.  We produce triathlons.  I love my jobs: mom and business owner. This is where the magic happens...

It's not easy balancing motherhood and business.  However, creating the right work environment sure helps.

• Central Location:  My office is in the front room, completely open to the rest of the house. My kids are always welcome to come climb on my chair with me.  I also sit right in front of the window so I can see my kids walking to and from their friend's houses or playing in the yard.  Beyond the banister is their basement playroom and from here I can hear every word.
• Color you LOVE:  I recently re-painted these walls (all by my lonesome) because I wasn't loving spending time in the color they used to be.  Now I feel so serene and beachy in my blue-gray office.  
• Practical Storage Solutions:  I used to have my printer out for all to see.  I feel like sticking it in the cupboard makes me love this room so much more!

• Cute Storage Solutions:  I can't say enough about storage.  I am not nearly as organized as I look.  Those big, white storage boxes (IKEA) are a life saver.  I throw anything I need but don't want to be seen in there, and they look tidy and cute.

• Things that Inspire:  My work requires some inspiration and motivation, as does everyone's.  I fill my office with things that I love and that remind me of the people I love.

Things I love in my office:

• Photos of beloved Grandparents
• Mason jars, love 'em
• A vintage photo book of Hawaii
• My all-time favorite photo of my husband and me from when we were dating
• A big piece of glass I picked up while visiting my sister in Southern Utah
• My Mac.  Can't help it, I love you, Mac!
• A print of a painting by my oldest brother.  Isn't he amazing?
• Milk glass glass given to me by my thrift-shopping diva Aunt Pamela

I hope this posts inspires you to add a little inspiration to your work space.  I think you will love it too!
More Home Decor...

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