missing...

i guess being an emotional being its only normal to just feel like the song does... Okay i may over exaggerate wat i may say coz i'm a guy who sometimes trusts his feelings too much to the pt he may be mislead by it or even be afraid of it. But oh wells been havin wks of just reli missing ppl to be honest wks of not havin a wkend to just wring out myself and catch up with ppl whom i guess reli wanna meet and find them dear...

I guess one time in my bunk i somehow journalled tat i'm blessed with family and friends. Dear ones and distant ones. And the truth that though friends may come and go, may forget us, may hurt us and may even just disappear frm ur life, the friendship will never die. Because down the road of life when paths meet again we'd still have a vague memory of this recognisable face. So even though i noe tat in my lifetime i've probably lost contact with some of this frens, had failed relationships and am now in the midst of being ard frens of a different light-Yea though they r a fun bunch they're not as some would say kindred souls whom u'd share ur woes? ok i'm not sayin they arent capable, but its just different- i guess i can still wave a hand and ask how are you doin today?

I aint complainin or wat but i guess sometimes its good to be able to mix with all sorts of ppl, making lots of frens and knowing ppl, but not being able to see those close to you for sometime makes u miss the warmth and sometimes the joy u rarely get.

But one thing I've learnt is contentment and to just be thankful for the moments we are in everyday. Like even though we hv missed chances, missed opportunities and even get shot in the heart over miscommunications, we gotta kp carrying on and not hold back and end up stuck in longin or wantin coz the constant longin will never come and the constant wantin will just drive u crazy and bring u down.

I guess a moment i can relate was just last wk on how some of us in our bunks reacted to our fate over the wkend(wont say wat fate). Upon hearing the news i guess wat we did was to just enjoy the night, so we like ordered 26pieces of chicked and 5burgers plus a few tubs of whip potato and coleslaw and packed ourselves to the late of nite. And an after thought was that i did enjoy that moment of being with em. Also visitin a fren in hospital who went through the same things i did and i'd say is one of my best buds and seein others who came, i'd say it was a nice feelin to be with em and reminisce and joke abt how my bud ended up in hospital...

okok wells i'm not gonna go and write a thesis or wat, but yea its only normal for one to feel this way. And as much as i am an emotional person i cant let these emotions drive me or even let situations dictate how i react.

Anyway i guess afterall this missin thing wat can i do abt it? I guess only one thing? Just do it. I guess i reli wanna see some ppl b4 i go off for a long three wks. And yea prayin for opportunities to come. BUt ultimately family comes b4 frens :)

oh wells heres a thought i got frm watchin a movie just now(i'm a sucker for korean movies now and prolly u'll noe why i put the song here hehe)

"like the wind u embrace me in moments like this..."

a thought, tat when the wind blows i always think tat someone out there is givin me a hug. then again i'd its God who's holdin me and keeping me. Coz out of all the friends in the world i miss this one the most right now and His ppl...

Ps: i guess i hv to relate one moment whr i know he was watchin over me.

was sittin down in the hole i dug and i guess since it was mid afternoon we were all just tired after a night of unsuccessful digs. I fell asleep and woke up to a buzzing sound. I saw this "bee-like thing" it was black in colour with wings decorated with silvery blue just like a butterfly. It was buzzing really noisily and circling whr i was sitting. My instince just told me to stand up and get out of my hole. As i got up i saw the bee-like thing fly down to the bottom of my hole and attack a spider as big as 3 of my fingers. There was a fight and struggle as the bee-like thing stung the spider many times. I was mesmerised and had to tell my buddy wat i just experienced. I stood next to his hole and said, "i just experienced discovery channel and thank God tat thing got the spider b4 the spider got me." I chuckled after saying tat.

I continued to observe the buzzing thing and took a step to the right, then suddenly *creak crash* boom*....

To my astonishment tat sound was a durian falling frm abt 5-7 stories high? And the impact of the durian just missed my head by a few inches and my left shoulder by a few centimeters. And then i noticed that after it had hit the ground the durian rolled into my hole exactly at the place where i sat and where my feet were placed. For a moment i couldnt breathe but realised how close i was to being hit. In that state of shock i choked on my words and told my buddy wat just happened. As i went back to sit down, i just whispered and thanked God for that close shave. If not for that moment of grace i think i wouldnt be sitting here. And time and time again i guess its just another reminder that he is watching and reli looking out for me...

PPS:
When was the last time i said hello?
A goodbye, gave a hug or waved a hand?
When was the last time i took note
of everything you said?

Hv i lost my mind?
Did I make u cry?
Was it all a lie?
Sometimes its hard to say it all...

If i took your hand?
Will you stay around?
Will you linger on?
Even when I'm gone?

But its not simple
Its never easy
To go on like this
But still...

I know who will
Take me there
To a place where all longings end
And there will I finally see...


just random...