PREPARE YOURSELVES...

...FOR PASSIONATE DREAMS...TURNED INTO A LIVING NIGHTMARE!!!

PREPARE YOURSELVES...

FOR IT IS REAL...IT IS EVIL...IT IS HERE!!!

PREPARE YOURSELVES...

...FOR A GEOMETRICAL PROGRESSION OF DEADLY MENACE!!!

PREPARE YOURSELVES...

FOR YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

PREPARE YOURSELVES...

FOR IT...IS COMING!!!

THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.

PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!

If I May Brag I Moment...

...I have some of the most creative, dynamic players that I've EVER had the privilege of gaming with.

My table has old pros, novices-of-the-adult-but-never-really-gamed variety, and a 13-year-old who grew up with gamers.  That kid is an absolute Game Master's Mutant Lord's nightmare—in a good way—because he comes up with damned brilliant uses of his mutations on the fly.

Case in point, just yesterday he made an encounter with two waasps go completely off the rails—in a good way—from the get-go, and the PCs murderhobo-ized those monsters to artifacts and riches.

Seriously.  It was a massacre.  And it was awesome and terrifying to behold.  They done good.

I am just BEAMING from behind my ML's screen.  I'll write up the encounter just as soon as I can.

"C" is for "Coral Crawler"

Coral Crawler

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  90' (30')
      —Swim:  45' (15')
Armor Class:  2
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8 / 1d12
Save:  L6
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  4,400

Coral crawlers are ambulatory, rhinoceros-sized, animalistic collectives of marine polyps. They hunt along the ocean floors, but surface to prowl beaches and riverbanks.

Coral crawlers are covered stinging barbs that inject a Class 7 neurotoxin.  And being made of millions of individual creatures grants them complete immunity to any and all Mental Mutations.

Aquatic tribes with thick carapaces and/or immunity to poisons tame coral crawlers as mounts.

Mutations:  Density Alteration, Dermal Poison Slime, Parasitic Control

"F" is for "Finkdaddy"

Finkdaddy

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  120' (40')
Armor Class:  5
Hit Dice:  8
Attacks:  4 or 1 (2 claws, 1 tailslap, 1 bite, or weapon, or vehicle)
Damage:  1d4 / 1d4 / 1d8 / 1d10, or by weapon, or by vehicle +4d6
Save:  L8
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  XVIII
XP:  3,560

Finkdaddies are 5' tall, bug-eyed, pudgy relatives of the vermen.  Their mangy fur is usually a toxic green hue, but the creatures can appear in any day-glo color.

Finkdaddies are manic and altogether unhinged, and can't handle their liquor.  But they are geniuses when it comes to unearthing, repairing, and upgrading Ancient technology, and vehicles are their specialty.  The sheer rarity of mechanical transport in the Mutant Future makes finkdaddies the undisputed kings of the blasted roadways.

If engaged in vehicular combat, a finkdaddy's attacks automatically gain a +3 To Hit and +4d6 damage.

Mutations:  Atrophied Cerebellum [D], Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Increased Willpower, Intellectual Affinity (Tinkerer), Prehensile Tail, Reflective Epidermis (Radiation)

"M" is for "Molock"

Molock

No. Enc.:  1d10 (5d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
  —Burrow:  30' (10')
Armor Class:  7
Hit Dice:  7
Attacks:  2 or 1 (2 claws, or weapon)
Damage:  1d8 / 1d8, or by weapon
Save:  L7
Morale:  9
Hoard Class:  XVII +1d12 gizmos
XP:  2,540

Molocks are 4' tall bipeds with fleshy snouts and enormous claws.  Their beady eyes are obscured by dusty fur.

Molocks construct elaborate subterranean complexes, where they cultivate forests of the tastiest fungi in the Mutant Future.  They trade their harvest for only the most exotic of Ancient foodstuffs, as they fancy themselves quite the gourmands.  Molocks hoard any and all artifacts they find in their excavations.

Most molocks are genial...but a renegade fringe faction known as The Architects Of Night seeks out buried doomsday weapons so as to destroy the sun and claim dominion over the planet's surface.

Mutations:  Damage Turning, Echolocation, Fragrance Development, Increased Sense (Hearing, Taste), Precognition

"L" is for "Laazghul"

Laazghul

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d8)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  90' (30')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  6
Attacks:  2 or 1 (2 claws, or 1 head-beamer)
Damage:  1d4 / 1d4, or see below
Save:  L4
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XXI
XP:  1,820

Laazghuls are mutated relatives of the walking dead [p. 101 of the Mutant Future Core Rules].  They blast foes with the emitter arrays on their heads.

To determine what their skull-zappers shoot, roll on the chart below, either for each laazghul or the entire group.  Ranges for all attacks are 90'.

1. Heat Ray:  3d6 damage; metal objects melt on a failed Saving Throw Vs Energy
2. Cold Beam:  2d8 damage; frozen to the spot for 2d6 turns (or until chipped free) on a failed Saving Throw Vs Stun
3. Napalm Gout:  2d6 damage, plus another 1d6 per round for the next 1d6 rounds
4. Hypno-Ray:  target switches sides and allies with the laazghul for 2d6 turns on a failed Saving Throw Versus Stun
5. Pulse Blaster:  4d6 straight-up damage
6. Lightning Arc:  6d6 damage; half damage on successful Saving Throw Vs Energy

Anyone killed by a laazghul's claw attacks rises in 3 nights as a new laazghul.  (Those killed by head-beamers are probably too zapped to return from the dead as anything.)

Mutations:  Energy Ray (x6)  (See Above)

—

Not-The-Designer's Notes:  Shamelessly horked from Unca Jeff at Jeff's Game Blog.  I just Mutant Future'd 'em up (which pretty much just means more HD).

"S" is for "Stagsquatch"

Stagsquatch

No. Enc.:  1d6 (2d8)
Alignment:  Chaotic
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  6
Hit Dice:  13
Attacks:  3 or 1 (2 claws, 1 bite, or 1 gore)
Damage:  1d12 / 1d12 / 3d6, or 2d10
Save:  L13
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  XIV
XP:  5,100

Stagsquatches are shaggy, reddish, 10' tall bipeds with lithe, lean builds that belie ferocious strength.  Nasty fangs and tusks jut from their salivating snouts, and their eyes glow red with malice.  Stagsquatches are extremely stealthy (Surprising on a 1-4 on 1d6), and like apes, they locomote on prominent forelimbs.

Cruel and clever, stagsquatches set traps (deadfalls, pits, tripwires, etc) and stage ambushes to capture their favorite prey:  Pure Humans.  And they have an ironic fondness for Ancient metal "deer crossing" signs, which they post throughout their hunting grounds to further unnerve victims.

Stagsquatches share a collective fear of dogs, both normal and mutant (including humanoids).

Mutations:  Dual Cerebellum [+1 random Mental Mutation], Phobia ("Canids") [D], Reflective Epidermis (Electricity)

"L" is for "Lionfrog"

Lionfrog

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d8)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
      —Swim:  30' (10')
Armor Class:  4
Hit Dice:  12
Attacks:  3 or 1 (2 claws, 1 bite, or 1 gore)
Damage:  1d10 / 1d10 / 1d6, or 2d6
Save:  L6
Morale:  10
Hoard Class:  VII
XP:  3,600

Lionfrogs are bovine-sized, garishly-hued amphibians that prowl the irradiated grasslands in family prides.  Combinations of bony growths and prominent external gills form the "manes" that give them their names.

Up to 3 times per day, a lionfrog can discharge a 20' diameter cloud of deadly Class 17 gas from armored pores on its backside.  Lionfrogs are immune to this substance, but still vulnerable to other poisons.

Massive and muscular beasts, lionfrogs avoid the water; in fact, they take 1d4 damage per round when submerged.

Mutations:  Epidermal Susceptibility ("Water") [D], Natural Armor (Extreme), Toxic Weapon ("Gas Generation")

Mutants In The News — "Lord Humungus Throws A Mean Kegger" Edition

This is a thing I must attend one year.

And I expect a rowdy crew (to arms, Sniderman and The Abominable Dr. Causey!) to join me!

Rest In Peace, Chalur

R.I.P. Chalur, the winged, fire-blasting, chameleonic, injury-doubling, arachnophobic Mutant Human.

Your crippling mutations combined with even more crippling decision paralysis in the heat of every battle would've done you in eventually...

...so perhaps it's a kindness that a teammate's Critical Miss with an implosion mace both pulverized your ribcage and detonated all your ammo in the same fumbled swing.

Your corpse will provide a sumptuous feast for the local crawfrogs and frogdads.  As you arose from the swamp, so shall you return.

—

This Saturday's Mutant Future session was a doozy, what with the Ancient bunker and the blood-sucking freakjob and its thralls and the missing henchmen and the universal decryption box and the new doll-sized mutant teammate and the three-armed necro-specialist and the fungus-giants and the  quest for airboat fuel and the six Critical Misses in a row (4 from the PCs, 2 from the Mutant Lord) and the mayhem and the first PC death.

"B" is for "Bogie"

Bogie

No. Enc.:  2d6 (5d6)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  150' (50')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  4+1
Attacks:  3 (2 claws, 1 bite)
Damage:  1d3 / 1d3 / 1d4
Save:  L5
Morale:  7
Hoard Class:  XVII + 3 gizmos
XP:  590

Bogies are 3' long, nocturnal, matriarchal primates that lurk in jungles and overgrown ruins.  Mischievous and highly intelligent (and rather snobby about it, too), bogies love harassing and spooking any who encroach on their territory.  They are quite adept at using tools and Ancient artifacts.

Bogies can alter their atomic structure so as to shift "out of phase" with matter around them. They can use this ability up to 4 times per hour, at a duration of up to 1 minute each.  Bogies are completely immune to any and all attacks and environmental conditions while intangible...but they can't interact (attack, use mutations, etc.) with the world around them, either.

Renegade bogies often become "retrieval specialists", and they charge a premium for their services.

Mutations:  Control Weather, Metaconcert, Neural Telekinesis, Prehensile Tail, Psionic Flight, Unique Mutation ("Ghosting")

THIS Is Mutant Future

Prepare to be awesomed.

Mutants In The News — "Chickens Come Home To Roost" Edition

When we last mentioned Friend Of The Field Guide Legion McRae and his intrepid artisans at Interloper Miniatures, they were all hard at work bringing my favorite RPG mutants of all time to life!

And their labors have hatched!  

Just check out the majesty provided by master painter, Chad Lascelles!

And here's the rest of the figs, unassembled and unpainted!

Check out the eyepatch on the rightmost rabboid!!!

In the Mutant Future, cyclops-chicken-with-a-molotov fries YOU up!!!

Buggoids gone bonkers!!!

Syd & Marty Krofft WILL NEVER DIE!!!

Man.  I haven't slopped paint on minis since I was about 14, and there is NO WAY I'm gonna make them look as spiffy as ol' General Cluck up there.  Daunting!

—

Good Mr. McRae assures me that more miniatures are in the works, and that he'll have a website up sooner than later.  You'll definitely want to send him some sweet, sweet lucre in exchange for his special brand of post-apocalyptic goods and services.

Thanks again, Interloper!

(I would've posted about these about a month ago, except I kinda-sorta lost the package they mailed back in June in a deluge of wedding gifts.  The little critters got boxed in a crockpot, of all things. Yeesh.)

Smarmageddon!!!

I'm so tickled by Jack Shear's Planet Motherfucker, I set up another blog dedicated to its trashocalyptic, psychoholic sleazery.  There's a tumblr and everything!

If you like my Devastation Drive-In nonsense—and based on the utterly boggling number of hits the Rottweiler and Robot Monster entries get, SOMEONE does—I think you'll find something of interest over at...

THE HAUNTED SPOOKSHOW OF CHANNEL X!!!

"D" is for "Dillode"

Dillode

No. Enc.:  1d4 (1d4)
Alignment:  Neutral
Movement:  120' (40')
  —Burrow:  18' (6')
Armor Class:  3
Hit Dice:  4
Attacks:  2 (2 claws)
Damage:  1d6 / 1d6
Save:  L3
Morale:  8
Hoard Class:  None
XP:  465

Dillodes are 4' long, subterranean animals with twitching antennae and thick shells that crackle with energy.  They feed on insects, grubs, and worms, standard and mutated alike.

Dillode shells are prized by armorers, as protective gear made from their hides grants AC 3 and 25 HP worth of electrical resistance.  But the critters are particularly susceptible to infection, and their germy corpses litter the wasteland.  Anyone touching a dead dillode must make a  Saving Throw Versus Disease at -2 or contract an atypically virulent strain of leprosy [see p. 48 of the Mutant Future Core Rules].

Mutations:  Energy Ray (Electricity), Energy-Retaining Cell Structure, Force Screen (Greater), Reduced Immune System [D], Mental Phantasm, Reflective Epidermis (Electricity), Teleport