Found this on a blog and they got it from an email.
- author of list, unknown
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2010 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave..
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you...
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses .
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12.. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOURSELF
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, October 04, 2010
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Interesting sayings
From Jr.co.il/humor
The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and
skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.
-- Jules Farber
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been
found.
-- Calvin Trillin
"Never doubt that a small group of dedicated citizens can change
the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
-- Margaret Mead
Here's some funny labels. These labels were probably made so people can't say they didn't know
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)
The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and
skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.
-- Jules Farber
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been
found.
-- Calvin Trillin
"Never doubt that a small group of dedicated citizens can change
the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
-- Margaret Mead
Here's some funny labels. These labels were probably made so people can't say they didn't know
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
where you from
Have you ever gotten weird guesses from people about where you are from or who you are.
I've gotton some interesting guesses from people. One person, some years ago, asked me if I'm from Italy. Another person asked me if I'm hispanic. And yet another asked me if I'm from Pakistan, which is weird because my skin is very light.
Anyhow, for anyone who's curious, this is me as a simpson character
I've gotton some interesting guesses from people. One person, some years ago, asked me if I'm from Italy. Another person asked me if I'm hispanic. And yet another asked me if I'm from Pakistan, which is weird because my skin is very light.
Anyhow, for anyone who's curious, this is me as a simpson character
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
New reality show, 'The Bloggers'
shpiel 2008
Some bloggers came together and thought hard of a reality show that they could do. Then, inspired by some of the shows out there, they came up with the show 'The bloggers' where 1o bloggers with very different viewpoints and opinions have to share the same blog without killing each other. As the show progresses, the tension heats up. Some writers and readers have a ball and are loving it, while others just can't take it and want to leave. How will it all turn out? And who will be the last one standing? We'll find out soon on 'The Bloggers'.
Some bloggers came together and thought hard of a reality show that they could do. Then, inspired by some of the shows out there, they came up with the show 'The bloggers' where 1o bloggers with very different viewpoints and opinions have to share the same blog without killing each other. As the show progresses, the tension heats up. Some writers and readers have a ball and are loving it, while others just can't take it and want to leave. How will it all turn out? And who will be the last one standing? We'll find out soon on 'The Bloggers'.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
On the phone
.
Did this ever happen to you? Some time ago, I was walking down the block and then someone said 'hi, how are you.' I'm wondering who he is, and then I realized he's not talking to me. He's wearing an earpiece and talking on the phone.
I can imagine someone from the past coming to nowadays and then going back to the past, and some one asks the time traveller 'what's the future like?' And he replies, 'Everyone talks to themselves.'
.
Did this ever happen to you? Some time ago, I was walking down the block and then someone said 'hi, how are you.' I'm wondering who he is, and then I realized he's not talking to me. He's wearing an earpiece and talking on the phone.
I can imagine someone from the past coming to nowadays and then going back to the past, and some one asks the time traveller 'what's the future like?' And he replies, 'Everyone talks to themselves.'
.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
LOL
You know how there's 'lol' laugh out loud
And 'Lmao' laughing my __ off
And 'Rofl' rolling on the floor with laughter
Well in cortesy of me, now there's 'pott' pounding on the table.
You know when you hear something funny and you start pounding the table.
Okay, maybe not but I do.
Enjoy.
And 'Lmao' laughing my __ off
And 'Rofl' rolling on the floor with laughter
Well in cortesy of me, now there's 'pott' pounding on the table.
You know when you hear something funny and you start pounding the table.
Okay, maybe not but I do.
Enjoy.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
funny labels
Found this here
Labels on some consumer goods
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (is this the shoplifter's special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(Now mind you, I believe the key word there is Children.
We should all put our children to work driving or operating machinery...
Right?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly United?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
Labels on some consumer goods
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (is this the shoplifter's special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...That one is for the blonde in all of us...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(Now mind you, I believe the key word there is Children.
We should all put our children to work driving or operating machinery...
Right?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly United?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Interesting how the brain works
I was looking at brain teasers and optical illusions and I found a very interesting paragraph from brainden.com The following is not a riddle, just something interesting.
The paragraph said,
Even though the letters are jumbled in the following paragraph, most people have no trouble reading it!
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Now that's something!
The paragraph said,
Even though the letters are jumbled in the following paragraph, most people have no trouble reading it!
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Now that's something!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
funny vid
-
I found this video on another blog and it's hilarious. It's in hebrew but there are subtitles.
click here
I found this video on another blog and it's hilarious. It's in hebrew but there are subtitles.
click here
Monday, September 04, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Huh?
Have you ever done something that was really weird?
One of my friends a while ago had an assignment to go and do something different and see what reation they get from people. And so she went to a clothing store and asked them where their tomatoes are. They looked at her funny and then told her that they don't sell tomatos they're a clothing store.
Reminds me of what my brother and I pretended to do when we were younger. We played a game where we pretended to call the operator and order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and other stuff. Man, that was funny.
What can I say? I like weird stuff. Probably why I like the Twilight Zone. It's so creative.
One of my friends a while ago had an assignment to go and do something different and see what reation they get from people. And so she went to a clothing store and asked them where their tomatoes are. They looked at her funny and then told her that they don't sell tomatos they're a clothing store.
Reminds me of what my brother and I pretended to do when we were younger. We played a game where we pretended to call the operator and order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and other stuff. Man, that was funny.
What can I say? I like weird stuff. Probably why I like the Twilight Zone. It's so creative.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
This past weekend
I usually stay home for shabbos. But this time one of my friends got me to go with them to this family they know. At first I thought I don't know them but later I found that I do. It's funny bumping into people you haven't seen in a long time. My friend was surprised and had that 'you know them?' look. I remember my brother was friends with one of their sons when they were on my block a long while ago. Now the family lives somewhere else and their sons are on the east coast. But they still have a little daughter at home.
Anyway, my shabbos there was excellent.
Anyway, my shabbos there was excellent.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Quotes
I was looking at some quotes and found some pretty interesting ones.
Enjoy
"A Hospital is no place to be sick. "
- Samuel Goldwyn
"The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes."
-Dave Barry
"I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious."
-Steven Wright
Enjoy
"A Hospital is no place to be sick. "
- Samuel Goldwyn
"The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes."
-Dave Barry
"I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious."
-Steven Wright
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Love those fowards
I wanted to write something but I wasn't sure what. And so I decided to share a funny foward that one of my friends sent me. Hope you enjoy.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's! a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's agun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's abody in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's! a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's agun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's abody in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the big liar told you I was speeding too!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Funny sayings
http://www.jr.co.il/humor/sayings4.txt
Below are some of them
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Below are some of them
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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