Dear So and So...The End of a Long Road

Dear Readers,

My husband will be home soon. Real soon. I am so excited I could pop out of my skin. When he gets home he will have two weeks off of work. I don't plan on being around much, but I am looking for guest posters. If you are interested let me know. I also need 2 people to run Dear So and So...here on my blog or on your blog for those weeks. Once again if interested, get in touch.

Thank you so much for supporting me through this deployment. It has meant the world, really, I can't thank you all enough.

Love, Kat

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Wordless Wednesday- Many Faces of LaLa

My Other Blog

I started a new blog. It's called Back Away From The Donut. It's over here. It is my weight loss blog. I don't want to sit at the Bungalow and whine about how much I hate to exercise, so I started a new blog to motivate myself (and shame myself skinny).

There is a bit more...colorful language over there. THAT is how much I hate exercising. If you would like to read it (and laugh at me), please stop by.

So, how was your weekend?

Dear So and So...Get Your Feet Off Me

Dear KiKi,

I don't understand why when you sit on the couch you feel the need to flip sideways and jam your feet into my ribs. If that wasn't bad enough, since you are a wiggle worm, so you have to constantly readjust and kick my ribs. Basically I am being assaulted on the couch daily. Please stop.

Love, Mom

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Dear LaLa,

Aren't you glad to be back in school?

Hooray Easter Holidays Are Over!!!!, Mom (or as you say, Mum) (it was bound to happen eventually)

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Dear Elizabeast,

Prepare to be groomed. You need a bath, a hair cut and nail trimming. I will be your hair dresser extraordinaire. I can see now that this is going to be "entertaining". By "entertaining" I mean a pain in the ass.

Love, Human Mom

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Dear Volcano,

Let's keep ash levels low so that flights can continue to operate normally. I have my parents and my husband banking on friendly skies around the UK.

Capeesh! Kat

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Dear Mario Kart Wii,

I love you man.

Seriously, Kat

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Dear Readers,

If you have a letter, please feel free to link up. Did you know when you link up another angel gets it's wings? Or is that a bell ringing? Whatever, I say link up just in case. Have a good weekend!

Love, Kat

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Bumps in the Night

I grew up in one of the most haunted cities in America, Charleston, SC, so it is no wonder that I believe in ghosts. In Charleston, most of the historic buildings have some sort of ghost story attached to them. In the South End Brewery there is the ghost of a cotton merchant who hanged himself after watching his crop and fortune go up in flames and sink to the bottom of the harbor. The local restaurant Poogan's Porch has it's resident ghost Zoe St. Amand, a spinster school teacher who once lived in the building when it was a tenement. There is also a ghost at the Dock Street Theater that parades around in his formal attire. I learned most of this on a ghost walk through my haunted hometown. Other bits I know just from living in Charleston, it is like common knowledge amongst the residents.

The Dock Street Theater

Photo credit: http://www.sdparanormal.com

I find that having lived in this town has caused me to have certain beliefs that affect my life; not in big ways, just little habits. For one, because I move so much, I always assume my new home will be haunted. I carry this belief until I have lived there two months. It is like a trial run. During this first two months, if my husband is working nights, I make sure Elizabeast is in bed with me at night. Did you know that dogs sense the supernatural better than humans? Also, once I lay down, I don't open my eyes, unless I have to; shadows play tricks on my eyes. I have a special order that I turn off the lights in my house moving from the furthest end of my house to my bedroom. Ok, well maybe that is my OCD coming out.

While I have not had an actual supernatural experience, I do believe in them. When people tell me about their experiences, the hairs go up on my arms and on the back of my neck. I may not have a resident ghost in this house, but I am prepared.

This post was written as a part of Josie's Writing Workshop, located on her blog Sleep is for the Weak. Stop by there and check out all the other blogs that have linked up. Also, if you are stuck or want to work on your writing, Josie's prompts are great for wiping the cobwebs out of your mind.

Getting Ready For School Shouldn't Be This Hard

LaLa has always been a very particular child. She is sweet, affectionate, and very giving. She has so many qualities to love. I do love MOST of her qualities. The one thing that drives me mad is how extremely particular she is about her clothing. Her sleeves must not touch her hands. Her shoes must be the right tightness. Her hair must be combed a certain way. She prefers a cardigan to a jumper. She will not wear trousers. These are just the problems I encounter when I am getting her ready for school in the mornings.

Today for instance, I have given in to her wearing her summer gingham pinafore, a cardigan, white tights and her school shoes. I warned her that she is going to be cold in the dress, but she doesn't care. I had to roll the sleeves of the cardigan up so they didn't touch her hands and have been informed that I need to buy her new school shoes because the toes of her brand new ones are scuffed and that they are not tight enough. I can't wait until she is sixteen.

Personification of The Volcano

The Man will be home soon. Well, maybe, if the ash cloud of doom doesn't delay him. No planes are flying at the moment; not even military planes. Now, he isn't actually due here for a couple of weeks, but The Volcano shows no signs of stopping. The Volcano is like a petulant child who is acting up just to act up now. "See me throw a tantrum and cause chaos. Now I am gonna wallow on the floor and make a scene," says The Volcano. "Hahaha, yeah you know your screwed," the Volcano laughs in the face of all of Europe. The Volcano, is also threatening to kick off his elder bigger brother. "You know if I keep this up, my brother is going to start wailing as well," he sneers at us. Well played, Volcano.

Now let me say this, Volcano. Are you listening, Volcano? If my husband doesn't get back to the UK within the timeframe I was promised, I am coming to Iceland to kick your volcano butt. You hear me?

Spiders

So, we have reached spring, or as I call it spider season. You see, spider season lasts from the time the daffodils bloom until roughly when the first snow falls. Now in Missouri, we had B.A.M.S. or roughly translated to Big Ass Missouri Spiders. Now, I know to expect E.G.A.D.S. or English Gigantic Abnormally Disproportionate Spiders. Now let me warn you, if you hear me screaming....it is just a spider. I hate spiders. No. I REALLY hate spiders.

Dear So and So...Let's Learn To Drive Shall We?

Dear Motorcycle Rider,

I know that you are allowed to pass here willy nilly, but you are NOT allowed to break the speed limit. Going past me at 70 mph in a 50 is not proving any point other than you are stupid and should not be riding a motorcycle or in fact be operating any motor vehicle other than maybe a riding lawn mower. Slow down. There is no reason to be driving that fast, coming out of people's blind spots and causing them to scream while driving. In fact, you're lucky you didn't get hit numerous times as you were passing two and three cars at a time with head on traffic coming.

That driver who had a heart attack, Kat

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Dear Dude Driving and Using Mobile Phone,

Fail. You sir, fail. Not only is it illegal, but you suck at doing it. You almost hit me when I was on the roundabout cause you weren't paying attention and cut me off, jackass! I had two kids in the car you stupid waste of air. If you want to be suicidal do it elsewhere, not on the roads.

Grrrrr, Kat

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Dear Drivers in General,

Turn signals on roundabouts aren't a suggestion, they are a must. Seriously, use them.

Frustrated and Sick and Tired of Near Misses, Kat

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Dear Readers,

Hope you have a great weekend. Link up if you have a letter :)

Love Ya, Kat

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Three Days of Awesome (and for once I am not being sarcastic)

I have had a pretty good last three days. Of course by saying pretty good, I mean it was so completely awesome that there should be a law against that amount of awesome. OK, Kat, spill it. What could possibly that good that you say it should be outlawed? First of all, my friend Jay, came to visit me. That alone should be supervised by the police. Also? She brought her squishy baby boy Isaac. Ok, yeah, Kat, that's nice. What else? She cooked duck for me. I had never tried duck; or parsnips. I had both and loved them. In fact it was a foodgasm. I literally slumped in my chair after the last bite it was so good. OK, so she cooked, Kat...what else? Oh she is a professional photographer so she took pictures of the girls for me. The pictures are too lovely for words.

That is not the end of the good news. I took a nap yesterday and woke up to a strange tweet from Nickie. Apparently, I am ranked 14th in British Parenting Blogs on the Tot's 100. Holy Shnikey! That was some good news to wake up to from my lovely nap yesterday! In fact I didn't believe it so I closed my browser, then opened it back up to double check that I wasn't hallucinating since I was still half asleep. I wasn't hallucinating. I proceeded to do a happy dance around my house and then bake a cake. All good news needs cake. It's a rule.

This morning? Well, I ate cake for breakfast. I count that as a win.

BBC Offering Free Planet Earth Download

Passing along some exciting news I have! The BBC is offering to (American) readers (sorry Brits and others) the chance to download FOR FREE on iTunes an Episode of the epic Planet Earth series. If you have not heard of Planet Earth, it is an eleven part documentary about our humble planet.

This series took over 4 years of production, filmed with HD cameras in 204 different locations in 64 countries. 2000 days of work in the field went into making this stunning masterpiece, produced by, Alastair Fothergill.

This offer is not lasting long, the dates for the free download are from April 12-26 2010. The Episode available for download is called "Pole to Pole". So, go now, log onto iTunes and get your free episode of this wonderful documentary. I am sure you will not be disappointed.

Dear So and So...Because This is My Luck

Dear Easter Break,

You have been as I expected. So far, LaLa has flooded the bathroom (a quarter of an inch of water across the entire floor, took 15 bath towels to clean up, joy), KiKi has busted her lip by falling flat on her face and LaLa spilled an entire yoghurt on the carpeted kitchen floor (if I find the man who thought putting carpet in my kitchen was a good idea I am gonna kick his ass). We have also had great weather and been able to play outside, a lot. Good and bad, good and bad.

I'll take what I can get, but please no more floods, Kat

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Dear Rent-a-Kitty,

You're skating on thin ice here. Poop goes in the litter box, not on the floor right outside it. You disgusting cat. Seriously, if I didn't like your owner so much you would be gone.

I Am Serious As a Heart Attack, Kat

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Dear Council,

Is there any way we could get rubbish pick up more than just once every other week? When I do a major spring cleaning I have to take loads of rubbish away to the recycling center myself. As if I don't have enough on my plate right now.

Not A Happy Camper, Kat

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Dear House,

If you can show me where that self cleaning button is.....I am sure the estate agent said something about it being around here somewhere. No? Damn.

Indentured Servant, Kat

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Dear Readers,

Happy Friday!!! Link up if you got letters.

Love You All, Kat

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Realities of Living Abroad in the Military

When Uncle Sam asked us to live abroad in the UK, we knew it came with a time limit. Four years. We are allowed to enjoy England for four years, and then we will be shipped off to another location. When we got the assignment, we were so excited. Now, it is bittersweet. We have moved here, made friends, have our children in school here and have settled in.

The way the primary school in this area works, all the kids in the same class move up together. This means, she will always have the same classmates. The bonds will be closely formed. The thought of uprooting her in a couple of years makes me sick to my stomach. She already has made close friends. Actually, close isn't even the word for her and her best friend, they are more like sisters. Splitting them up, the thought of it, brings tears to my eyes.

I have already talked to the mother of La's best friend. We are trying to think of a way to get ahead of this speeding train. We are trying to head the pain off at the pass and prepare the girls for the eventuality of LaLa returning to the states. Two and a half years sounds like a long time, but in this case, it is not long enough.

10th Photo

Emma, at Me The Man and The Baby, tagged me for a photo meme. Apparently it comes with some rules. You know how I am with rules, but I figured I would give it a shot.

The rules are as follows:

1. Open your first (oldest) photo folder in your computer library

2. Scroll to the 10th photo

3. Post the photo and the story behind it

4. Tag 5 or more people to continue the thread

Humm....seems simple enough!

The photo:

*snigger* I actually remember this day quite well! We were just moving into our first house here in England (you can tell that by the inordinate amount of things on the counter tops). LaLa came into the kitchen, with her latest and greatest outlandish fashion creation on and wanted hair bows and clips in her hair. I obliged her with two. Not enough. so I added a couple more. Still not enough. The next thing I knew she had almost all the hair accessories in the house on her head. At this point a photo was warranted.

The people I choose to carry on the meme are:

Jess from This Life is Mine

The Captain from Us and Them

Jenni from Oscarelli

A Mid-Atlantic English

and last but certainly not least... Fraught Mummy from Brits In Bosnia

Dear So and So...Easter Break

Dear Easter Break,

Nineteen days. Nineteen days??? You really do want me to have a mental breakdown don't you?

Tries to Think of "Fun" Things To Do, Kat

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Dear Victoria's Secret,

I get your email everyday promptly at 4:30pm. I have NEVER ordered anything. Probably a waste of your emailing time. Just sayin'

I'm Just Not Into You, Kat

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Dear Kids,

You had better be good during Easter Break or momma is gonna come off the rails.

Just a Warning, Mom

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Dear Mr. Jonathan Worth,

I had such a good time yesterday on our photo shoot. You really are an amazing photographer and I cannot wait to see the photographs you took! It really just was an amazing experience.

I Hope You had As Good A Time A I Did, Kat

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Dear Readers,

If you have letters feel free to link up! Have a great weekend!

Love, Kat

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Parenting Fail, Again.

There is a show here in the UK called "Four Weddings". The premise of the show is that there are four brides that attend each other's weddings and score them. The one with the highest score wins a fantasy honeymoon (usually to Jamaica or somewhere else tropical). Apparently, I have not been paying close enough attention to the commercials.

Me and KiKi were sitting on the couch at 9pm (past the watershed for profanity and nudity) watching this show. Well, we were sort of watching TV. I was really half paying attention talking on twitter and she was half trying to go to sleep cause she had a late nap and was still pretty much wide awake. The first two weddings took place, insert snippy comments from the attending brides, low scores, blah blah blah, onto the next wedding. The third wedding, THAT got my attention. A naturist wedding. In other words, completely nude. I noticed this as I saw an overweight man coming walking on screen with his willy flopping about on my TV screen. Shock. Gasp.

Me- Oh My.

KiKi- They're naked.

Me- Yep. They are. *pretends it is no big deal* *in head OMG OMG OMG she just saw some guys PENIS!!!!*

Now, you know if I turn the channel she is going to know something is "wrong". So I did what any parent not trying to call attention to the situation would do. I ignored it and pretended that everyone walks down the aisle naked. Yep, parenting fail.