Help Me

Honestly, there are days when I see my shrink where I'd think a 5¢ bill is considered massive overcharging. 

Yesterday was one of those days. 

Generally, I like my doc. I think there are some days I just don't like myself. Or my surroundings. Or anything. 

Yesterday was one of those days. 

We had not talked since the inauguration and well, let's just say, the conversation from my side was not pretty. 

It's kind of his fault. He opened with, "how are things going.....?"  I mean, c'mon! It's almost like he was asking for it. 

I covered every doom and gloom thought and scenario I had in my head. My hyper-anxiety was also on the agenda and attached to the doom/gloom thing. It really just came down to how much evil there is and no one seems to care enough to do a thing - and I don't know what to do. 

My problem with yesterday was I was looking for answers and while logically I know that's not what he's there for that specificity, I still wanted................something.  Anything? 

I have no idea what that something / anything was, but more than just pivoting to my meds and if I think they're sufficient. 

My dosage increase happened at first of the year, so that uppage might be off-set by post-inauguration. We both think it might be too soon to keep increasing the dose or just changing tactics where pharma is involved. 

Yeah we talked about the fine line eliminating all social media vs burying one's head in the sand. He already knows I don't read or watch news and while I've whittled down social media, it still sneaks through. People talk too. I can't avoid everything. 

I won't say he was without suggestions. Suggestion. Singular, I suppose.  Have I thought about leaving the country. 

Constantly. 

How much of a reality that actually can be is another discussion. 

On the upside (?) we for the near future, we will be meeting more often. That seems necessary - at least on my part. 

Song by: k.d. lang