Olympics (and other ramblings..)

So did you know I am an insane fan of the summer Olympics?  Like, borderline obsessed. You may recall (or more likely not..) that I blogged about this love in 2012 AND in 2008.  Because I have been blogging for a lifetime, apparently.

Actually, when searching the archives for posts about the Olympics I found this one from  2012 too, which accidentally made me cry AND reminded me of something important.  I wasn't planning on talking about this at all right now, but clearly my real blog posting has slowly dropped in frequency until it is nearly nonexistent.  I haven't decided what to do about that, but I think about it fairly regularly. And as I weigh the pros and cons of continuing to write in this space, I am at a loss.  I had actually been leaning towards the thought that I am probably close to wrapping up Bio Girl. 

But then days like today happen, and I accidentally stumble upon a post which so perfectly captures a moment in time for our family, that without this site I would have forgotten.  In the post I talk about what I expected to become my favorite Olympic memory. It felt that way at the time.  Absolutely unforgettable.  And yet... I had forgotten it. I knew four years ago Henry watched some of the games with me. I remember watching Phelps.  I remember cheering and crying and just all around loving the summer games.  But that exact memory, that joy, it had blurred into the past. Mixing in with a million other "unforgettable" moments of the last seven years. And this is one of the reasons it is so hard for me to think of letting go of this place. To stop recording the ins and outs of our life.  Because while I don't write about Henry or our family stories as much as I used to, a piece of our history continues to be captured in this place.  And while each moment feels unforgettable, it turns out they aren't. And that thought alone makes me want to keep writing here until the end of time.  Because if these little memories are so valuable to me after four years, what will the be worth in 20?

Anyway, the summer Olympics are on.  I didn't have anything to say about them really, I just wanted to write a post, and it seemed like as good a topic as any.  It's almost 8pm, so I think I am going to go watch the games with my boys and make some memories.  Maybe I will even remember to write them down.

The Best of Bio Girl 2015

Welcome back to another year in review at good old Bio Girl! I could go on for a bit about how my blogging has changed over the last couple of years and how it's... well... not as good, but really, we all know I don't blog as often as I once did. Like everything else in life, this blog has evolved over the nine years I have been writing here, and honestly, I am just happy I still find the time at all.  I do not manage to capture as much of our daily lives, but I do think I manage to at least partially capture the love we have for each other and this crazy life. (GOOD JOB, ME! Just keep blogging!) Anyway, here is this year's bullet-ed list of what I consider the tops posts of 2015!

• We will start the year off right with this post talking about how Boo broke into my office building to help me paint... it resulted in one of my favorite pictures of her of all time :)
• Maybe not my best writing, but in the timeline of life this post about my first day of teaching feels like a Best Of sorta moment.
• And then a post from early February where I talk about missing Missy as we approached the two year anniversary of losing her. I can't believe we are now so close to three years.  The heartache never goes away.
• A sweet post about my sweet boy.  Lord, I love him so.
• And then it snowed.... a lot.  
• In March I wrote a post which talked a little more about my job and my passion for public health. It's different, but I like it, and if I can find the time, I will write more like this one in 2016. 
• Then, later in March I went to DC, and it was awesome. 
• Next up, mainly a picture post, but it's EASTER, so must be documented.  Plus, there is the good old fence.
• Ah, these posts bring back good memories... here is a Cardinals tee-ball post, where Henry got the game ball.  LOVE.
• And then the Birthday madness began. We are big on traditions around here, so here is the annual birthday letter, and of course the birthday slideshow... plus, the always important BIRTHDAY PARTY. 
• And then a post showing how much my sweet boy has grown from the start of kindergarten to the end.  MY HEART.
• And maybe my favorite post of all year, Henry's last at Bat in tball. 
• The most epic vacation of all time.  Part one, two, three, and four.
• And then, just because, my post on my thoughts on Disney, because Disney now owns a piece of my heart. 
• A couple of posts about my run in with a bee. 
• Oh, another top post.  When we found the Snaaaaake.
• And another trip out of town, this time to the mountains for the second annual Cousin Cabin weekend.
• There was Halloween, which I am mainly including because I adore Henry's costume...
• Then I went to Chicago... this year had a lot of travel.
• Then, in November or Niece was born!
• Also in November I read (and became completely obsessed with) Carry On.
• And I wrote a post about our need to be aware that we are living in the middle of history, and as a nation we should be mindful of our choices.
• Then I went to Seattle... seriously, with all the travel
• This is one of my favorite moments of the year, my sweet boy getting into the Christmas Spirit of giving. 
• And Nick, Henry and I did a weekend in Louisville
• And the, you know, CHRISTMAS.

So there you have it! The best of Bio Girl, 2015. Shockingly, we are heading out of town today to bring in the new year on a little mini vacation.  Somehow we have become people who go places.... and we like it!

Just Keep Writing

This morning I read two blog posts talking about how blogging is dead.  I stopped to think on it for a second, like I usually do when I read about the death of blogging and what that means since, you know, I still do it, and this morning I zeroed in on how often I read blogs anymore. The answer is not very often at all.  The fact that I am telling you this story based on me reading two blog  posts this morning that contained multiple paragraphs full of honest to god words in a single day is pretty unusual.

I don't know what it means... maybe it is a signal I am moving more and more away from this past time I have loved for so long, or maybe it is what other bloggers are saying, that it is more evidence of the death of blogs everywhere.  Maybe I no longer read because so few people are still writing.  And maybe I have a harder time writing because in a lot of ways blogging is a conversation, even while it is your personal site and your personal story. We feed off of each other, picking up ideas from one post to spin off our own unique thoughts and create our own.

Anyway, I don't have much to say on it really.  But in years past I would have written down at least these few thoughts, adding to the conversation, so I decided to do that again today.  Just talking for the sake of talking, or blogging for the sake of blogging.  Hoping someone is listening, and that this post might possibly contribute to someone elses unique addition to the conversation. 

A Blog Comment Discussion

So let's talk about commenting on blogs, shall we?

Or more specifically, commenting on THIS blog, because let's be honest, it's the one I care about most.

I have had some complaints that my blog is not comment friendly.  This is depressing, because nothing makes me feel as good about my blogging as a little positive reinforcement through the comment section.  And yet I have posted everyday for the last 16 days, and in that time I have had seven comments.  And five of them were on this one post... and WAIT, on of those is my own comment replying to a comment, so we are going to have to knock that number down to six.

Six comments on the last sixteen posts. 

Now, we can add in comments from facebook, where I share pretty much all of my posts (is that annoying?  I can't ever tell) which will add 16 additional comments, and bring the total up to 22.  MUCH BETTER.

Then if we add in facebook likes (I know I am stretching, but they make me happy, so they get counted)  we add an additional 62 "Hey, I read this and enjoyed it" thumbs up.

Wow, so the point of this post is changing as I write it because, WOW, that's EIGHTY FOUR positive reinforcements on my writing over the last 16 days.  That's actually excellent.  Thanks for all the support!

But I guess I still want to ask, do you all find it hard to comment on this blog? I recently added comment word verification because the spam comments have been through the roof, but I don't want to make it impossible to comment because I LOVE THEM!  I am also curious if anybody knows a way to combine all comments from different locations so they show up on my blog.  I love that I have the facebook comments, but they are sort of lost over time if they aren't documented on the actual posts.  Not that I want you to stop commenting on Facebook... I WILL TAKE WHATEVER I CAN GET!  It would just make me happy if those comments showed up here as well as there. 

Sometimes I worry that blogging is dying.  And sometimes the lack of comments on this actual site supports that fear.  But when I think of myself reading blogs, the fact is I rarely comment, but I still read.  And I can tell from my traffic that you all still read here too.  I installed the facebook like button on my posts to give you the option to just like it without having to comment, but now I am acting as if that is not good enough.  It IS good enough.  And it makes me happy.  But if the reason you don't comment here is because you CAN'T, just let me know.  I will try to fix it.

(And by fix it I mean I will ask you all how in the heck I fix it, because I have no idea. Please leave your suggestions in the comment section... IF YOU CAN)
 

A New Way to Stay Connected

I had a request to add an email sign up to my blog, so that whenever I post you can get an email with a link right in your inbox.

No really...

I got the request!

I mean, I know this is already showing up in a alot of your all's readers, and I always post it to twitter, AND I usually post it to Facebook, but THE MASSES ARE REQUESTING I ADD ANOTHER OPTION!

And by masses, I mean my one friend, Whitney.

So anyway, it's now an option. You can add your email to the subscription list by entering it in that little box on the right, under where it says "Follow By Email".  I am extremely original with my titles.

While you are at it, feel free to click on the "Let's Connect" center and follow Bio Girl in your RSS feed, on Facebook and/or on Twitter.  God forbid you miss one of the THIRTY POSTS I am putting up in November.

Typically this announcement wouldn't be it's own posts, but whatever.  It's NaBloPoMo... this totally counts. See you tomorrow.

 

Three Days In... I Think I Made a Mistake...

Me, looking back on the Sarah of three days ago, randomly signing up for National Blog Posting Month...

Leading up to November I posted five days in a row.  I think that was my all time high for 2013.  I guess I got cocky and thought "Man, I can do this FOREVER! What's THIRTY MORE DAYS??"

I was over confident...

 Now I am not please with myself...

We are 3 days into November... only 27 more posts to go. It's going to go down hill fast around here...lord only knows what I am going to find to post.

 

Top 25 and Other Ramblings

So I was going to actually write a real post today, but then.... well... you see, I took a shower, a small thing really, and then I dropped Henry off with my mom and ran by the grocery to get like five little things, basically nothing at all. And at the end of all of that, I was EXHAUSTED.  Like, hard to keep my eyes open on the 0.2 mile drive home from the grocery exhausted.

So.... good to know.  I am not all the way better.  I might FEEL all the way better while laying on my couch eating Everything Bagel Chips dipped in whipped cream cheese (OH MY GOD) and drinking iced coffee (I know, my life=hard) but once I actually attempt to move my butt, I realize that yeah... I had surgery to remove a (small) organ 48 hours ago.  CHILL OUT AND STOP TRYING TO DO ALL THE STUFF.

So, no real blog post today.  (I have no idea why this doesn't count as a real post. I have used plenty of capitol letters)  But I did just get an email about the final list for the Circle of Mom's Top 25 Inspirational Blogs!  I came in at number 23, which if you think about it, manages to sneak in to the actual top 25!  For the record, I sent a cute picture to be included with my answers to the interview, but I guess they didn't get it.  Oh well.  I guess number 23 is stuck with using the little cartoon character from the header.  Such is life.

Anyway, Check out the list.  There are a bunch of amazing blogs on it.  And thank you all so much for voting me back into the top 25 for the second year in a row!  It really does make me very happy.

Now back to these bagel crisps...

Circle of Moms Top 25 Inspirational Families

For those of you who were reading around these parts last year, you may remember that I was in the running for Circle of Mom's list of top 25 most inspirational families.  I begged you all to go vote for us and you guys were so great!  I ended up collecting enough votes to come in 4th, which to this day blows my mind and gives me joy deep in my heart. 

Well, last night I got an email that I am once again on the list of potential blogs for 2012.  So here I am again, asking for your votes.  I am not at all sure this blog is inspirational, but I do love to write it.  And I love that you all come here and read.  Having my blog listed feels like a small validation of my writing, even if it is a validation I am mostly getting on my own by begging my readers to vote.  I will try to not be annoying about it this year, but I will attach the little "vote for me" button on the bottom of my posts while the contest is running.  It is very easy to vote, no sign up or info required.  Just click over and find Bio Girl on the list.  We are currently in 3rd.  Click the thumbs up and you are done.  You can vote everyday if you are so inclined.


Just click here to vote!

Thanks for taking the time to vote for Bio Girl!  I know it's silly, but it actually means a lot to me.

Does Calling it my Blogiversary Show my Age?

** Post now UPDATED to include original Blog Design. It's was so BEAUTIFUL!**

So today is my five year Blogiversary.  Which is a term I haven't actually heard in about three years... so that alone may prove that I have been pouring out every thought that comes into my head for way too long now.

So...

Five Years.

Over One Thousand Posts.

Over Five Thousand Comments.


It blows my mind.  Truly.  That I have continued to write, that you all have continued to read and comment.  That five years later I still feel that pull to sit down here and tell our story.

More than that, that five years later it now feels like a part of who I am.  I am a writer.  And it shocks me.  It shocks me that I have been asked to write other places, that people trust me to review books and products,  or bigger still, to be their voice on something as important as endometriosis.  That they ask my opinions, that I am quoted in articles.  That people enjoy what I write.

Thank you for coming here several times a week to read.  Thank you for your comments.  They are the fuel that keeps me writing.  Thank you for your support.  This five years has brought on very difficult times for me and my family.  But oh, they have brought amazing times too.  So thank you for sharing them with me.  For cheering me on, for holding me up, for crying along with me.  This blog has become a part of me.  And so have all of you. I know I sound sorta weepy and cheesy here, but really, thank you all.  It means more than I can say. 

I don't ask often, but I would love it if you took a second and left a comment on this post.  Just because your comments make me happy.  And because it seems like five years is sorta a big deal.  I mean, that's an entire hand, right? 


** I spent about thirty minutes looking for a screen shot of what this blog used to look like.  It was something special.  You couldn't look directly at it or it would burn our your retinas.  If I ever find it, I will be sure to share!

**Missy had her appointment with the NIH this morning and the tumor is much smaller!  We are so very thankful for answered prayers. I will post more details over on her blog later this afternoon or tomorrow once I get to talk to her and my parents.  

**UPDATE!**

Thank GOD my cousin was able to track down the beauty that was my original blog design. Now don't be shocked or anything, but I DID THIS ALL BY MYSELF! I am so talented, right? That full open space on the right, the tiny header, the seizure inducing circles.... I totally missed my calling to become a graphic designer, right?

Bloggers for Hope

I am so excited to tell you all about a very special project I am working on with Chance to Hope, a non-profit organization for infertility awareness and financial support.  The founders of CTH contacted me in the end of 2011 and asked if I would be interested in joining a team of infertility bloggers for their new project, Bloggers for Hope.  The basic premise of the project is to provide a location where women and families can come to read first hand accounts of other couples who have experienced the infertility struggles they now find themselves going through.  The site will focus on all forms of infertility and it's causes, having writers from each main catagory of infertility blogging on a regular basis.

I am very proud say that I will be the blogger discussing endometriosis on Bloggers for Hope, and I could not be more honored to be a part of such an amazing group of people.  They are passionate about getting information out about infertility as well as providing financial grants to families who are wanting to build their family but need medical assistance.  Today my first post is up, which tells our entire back story of my diagnosis with endometriosis and how that led to my infertility.  Please take the time to click over and read it if you are interested. 

As I wrote it I realized that I had never put the entire story down in one place before.  As much as I blog, I had never just done my history.  That is what Bloggers for Hope is about.  If someone newly diagnosed with endometriosis were to google bloggers with endo, they would find me.  But what they would see would be what you see every day.  My life.  This blog will allow people to find exactly what they are looking for.  A personal story, support, and a community.  It is an amazing project and I am lucky to be involved.  Please take the time to click over and support them (us) by reading.

Resolutions: Reviewing and Renewing

So resolutions.  I made them last year.  I blogged about them to keep myself accountable.  And you know what?  It was awesome!  I thought about them all year.  I was so aware of them!  I TRIED!  And really it was all one big success as far as sticking to resolutions goes.  And I am proud of it.  And more importantly, I want to do it again!  Because it was nice to have goals written down for the year.  So we are going to review my success and then sent up new goals to tackle in 2012.  Sound fun? 

No?? 

Well, I will reward you with Nora pictures at the end of this, so just stick with me...

So my 2011 Resolutions:

1. Find peace with the size of our family.  Well... I sorta started out with a hard one, didn't I?  This is rather hard to accomplish within a year, especially when the year contains 2 FET's that were SUPPOSE to allow me to have peace because my family was my perfect size.  BUT, since things in 2011 didn't go that way, I feel like I am still doing well with this one.  I mean, I struggle, as you all know, but most of the time I am doing well with it.  I am not letting our lack of baby #2 hold me back.  I am embracing the life we are given, and I think that is the best I could have done with this one.  SO, CHECK!
2. To Read at least 24 books. CHECK!  In 2011 I read 27 books, and several of those were beasts in the way of page numbers (OUTLANDER SERIES).  So I feel REALLY good about this one. 
3. Nick and I to take a weekend away. Okay, we didn't exactly do this one.  But we DID take a full week long family vacation, and I have decided that it counts.  SO CHECK.  Although I would still like to do something just us. So maybe it gets a half check.
4. Make more time for church.  Hummm... I sorta forgot this one was on there, which means I really didn't do too well with it.  We did go a fair bit, but I would say not nearly enough.  I cannot in good conscience give this one a check.  So.... RESOLUTION FAIL.
5. Wear more skirts or dresses.  CHECK!  I did really well with this one!  And you know what?  I felt very pretty every time I wore them.  There is just something nice about wearing a skirt or dress that makes me feel pretty.  And without this goal I wouldn't have pushed myself to wear them.  So success!

So if we are keeping track here, that puts me at a score of 3.5/5 checks.  Not exactly perfect, but I would be at 0/5 without my list! 

Now on to 2012:

1. Read six classic books (and continue same goal of 24 books a year).  I like having a reading goal.  So, this goes on the list again, but this time I want to force myself to read some classics.  I have no idea why I steer clear of them, but I want to stop.  There are some books everyone should read and I want to read them!  Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, The Great Gatsby, put them on the list for 2012! Have a favorite classic I should read?  Leave it in the comments and I will add it to my list.
2.  Lose 15 pounds in the first quarter on the  year, still have it off in the last quarter.  I know, I know.  Weight loss, how cliche.  But seriously, maybe putting it down in my resolution list (and telling you all) AND setting rules (like keeping it off) will help.  Because this 15 pounds is killing me.  I just hate it.
3.  Paint.  Years ago I got a Bob Ross painting set and easel.  I never used them.  There was just never a good place to set it up, never the right time to get started.  And I hate that.  I REALLY want to do it.  I am just a little artistic and think I might be good at it.  And even if I am not, I want to TRY.  So this summer while Henry is playing in the back yard I am going to try my hand at painting.  
4. Take Henry to fun, interesting and educational places throughout the year.  I don't want to fall into a routine of doing nothing.  I don't want to let lack of money stand in our way of taking him places.  I want to plan, and then follow through with being active, being outside, having him go places and see things that are new and different.  The Zoo, the Children's Museum, The Nature Preserve, Hiking, Swimming, a Movie, the Aquarium.  Just Stuff.  He is getting big enough to enjoy these things.  He is growing up so fast, I don't want to let this time pass without filling it with memories beyond our house and our yard. 
5. Do not allow social media to influence me.  I don't want to live life behind a screen.  Sometimes reading things like Facebook  gives me the feeling of keeping up with the Jones and I just don't want to feel the need to post every detail of our life online in real time.  And I don't mean this blog (which  might be hypocritical, but it is what it is). I love that you are here, and I LOVE your comments and interactions, but this space is different than Facebook. It is written on my own time, in my own way. It is personal to me.  Facebook and Twitter are running conversations and I sometimes struggle with stepping away because I feel like I am missing something.  I don't want to feel that way.  I don't want to be pulling one of these sites on my phone to read what other people are doing rather than enjoying what I AM DOING.  This is my life, and I love it. There is a time and a place for social media.  I want to make sure to keep it in it's place this year, which is on the back burner.

So there it is!  My list for 2012.  Do stuff with Henry, be online less, read, paint, lose weight.  It feel doable!  It feels like five things that are a great focus for 2012. 

What?  Oh right.  NORA.  What you all are really still here for! 


Part like it's 2012!

The Little Sisters

Happy...

NEW YEAR!

The Best of Bio Girl 2011

This is the fifth year I posted a 'Best of Bio Girl' on New Years Eve (here are 2007, 2008 , 2009 and 2010 if you really want to do a BG marathon of epic proportions) I have no idea if you all want to read through my old posts, but I get a lot of joy out of looking back over my year of blogging and picking out what I think were my best posts.  I have thought about keeping a running list, but I find that I am sometimes surprised by what I like at the end of the year.  Posts that didn't seem that funny or important when I wrote them sometimes become my favorite.  Posts that I thought were great just seem average when I reread them months later.  So really, it works best to make my list at the very end of the year.  Or at least that is what I tell my procrastinating heart.

So on to the list! 

• Starting right out of the gate with a post I totally forgot about, but made me laugh sorta hard when I remembered getting yelled at our the Post Office!
• This post is from Last January and is about Missy's second sugery.  I have always loved it, but it is very sad.  Maybe that is why I like it.  If feels honest. 
• Let's lighten things back up here on our 'Best Of' list!  Nick babysat for Cici.  They had fun. 
• Remember that time Henry acted drunk with his Speech Therapist?  No?  Well here is the story.
• A post about Henry waking up early on a work day.  I sorta love this glimpse of a random morning.
• We welcome the world to Henryville, the most wonderful place to live.
• Henry's birthday picture slideshow is always and forever one of my favorite posts of the year.  An entire year worth of pictures of my boy set to music and packed into four minutes? How could it not be my favorite?
• We cracked the code for Henry's good night sleep! (Key card included)
• I sometimes reread this post when I am having a hard day about our infertility.  It is a about a day before our final FET where I really felt at peace with the size of our family, no matter what happened with the last cycle.
• This summer I found out what happens when Mama leaves the house for a weekend.
• I wrote a lot of posts about our Final FET and the heartache that followed.  This one is what I picked for my Creme de la Creme submission for 2011.  I love it.  It feels like my heart is on the blog in this post.
• My god, I am a sap this year, but here is another post that captures Henry at a specific moment and it just MELTS. MY. HEART.
• Someone struggles with keeping the TR- (rather than an F)  in TRRRuck.
• In this post Henry and I debate the need for a haircut vs just allowing him to become a Samuri and wear a Topknott.
• Here is a post where I found another infertile who had been in the Trenches at my work.  Still, every time I see him in the hallways I think "we are more alike than anybody would know"
• Here is a post that captures the reasons I spend time blogging.
• We went to Florida.  I set our pictures to music.  Henry and I enjoy watching it ALL. THE. TIME.
• Our two little owls! (I am still extremely proud of these home made costumes!)
• Here is a post about making wishes on 11-11-11 that I think is pretty good.
• I love this post about Dancing with Henry.
• I am including more sad posts than normal on this years list, but here is one about still being Raw about our failed cycles and the fact that we are now out of the infertile game.
• Of course we have to include our Battle with the Squirrels in our Attic!  We are happy to report wehave had no additional POW's.
• And we will end the list with Life Lessons according to Angry Birds.  Because this post makes me smile!

And that's it!  The Best of Bio Girl 2011 is COMPLETE!  And incredibly long.  Like MUCH longer than years past.  Does this mean I am becoming a better blogger or that I am less selective than I used to be?  Only you can tell!  Click around if you want.  Read some old posts.  Let me know what you liked from the blog this year!

I hope you all have a wonderful time ringing in the New Year.  See you in 2012!

Backing Up

I don't have any news on either of my sisters yet this morning.  When I know about Missy's results I will post over on her blog and will update this post to let you know it is posted.   I will also update this post to include any new news with Baby Girl, short of a birth.  A birth will of course receive it's very own blog post.

I was reading Melissa over at Stirrup Queen's blog last night and she had a post about backing up your blog.  Reading it gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Oh lord, I have really been MEANING to back up this blog.  I have been MEANING to do it for the last...Five years.

The truth of the matter is that this blog is not saved anywhere but right here.  I have no copies of posts.  No saved template.  No back up of comments.  No nothing.  NOTHING. If there was a glitch in the Matrix and I logged in to Blogger tomorrow and found a notice that my blog was gone, corrupted or accidentally deleted, there would be nothing I could do.  It would just be lost.

Do you know how devastating that would be for me?  DO YOU??    So after being freaked out by Melissa I decided that I was going to back up RIGHT THEN.  Of course I did.  Because what if my blog is GONE in the morning?  What if it is GONE in ten minutes?? DO I HAVE TIME TO BACK IT UP BEFORE IT GETS DELETED?  I decided the quickest easiest way to do a basic back up was to first just copy and past all my posts into a word document. This was suggested by Melissa, so I didn't come up with the plan on my own.  I know there are ways to back it up online, and I want to do that TOO, but I thought for now a Word document of all my posts would allow me to sleep at night.

So I started cutting and pasting.  The most recent posts first, then just clicking "Older Posts" to get to the next page.  I was doing about 20 posts at a time, and I thought it would be a quick process.

You guys.  How do you even read this blog?  It is a NOVEL of epic proportions.  Do you want to know how far I made it with my copy and paste method?  I made it to May.  Of THIS YEAR.  Do you know how long that took me?  OVER AN HOUR.

And here's the kicker.  Do you want to know how long my Word document was for the last eight months?

253 pages.

And I know what you are thinking. I do.  I have a lot of pictures posted.  Surely most of that 253 pages are picture, right?  Well Word also gave me a word count on my document.  Are you ready?

53,000.

FIFTY THREE THOUSAND WORDS IN EIGHT MONTHS.

Now I just need to copy and past the other FOUR YEARS AND THREE MONTHS into the document.

Good lord.

Do you all back up your blog?  Do you make a copy as you go?  Does anybody have a good blog back up method they would like to share with me?  Clearly I need one.

Finding Friends

Thank you all for your sweet comments and emails after my post yesterday.  I am really okay.  Actually I am dramatically better.  It's amazing how healing talking about things can be.  And these are hard things to talk about out loud. But writing about them, that I can do.  And I am so lucky to be surrounded by such amazing friends both in real life and online that are so very supportive of this healing process.  I am always a little embarrassed when the responses start rolling in.  I am so very touched, but then also worry that I have made too big a deal out of things, been too open, too honest.  But there is just no denying how healing your words of encouragement are to me.  So thank you.

Speaking of my online friends, I have made such amazing friends within this online community.  True friends.   I didn't realize what amazing people I would find when I started blogging.  But here you are.  My online friends.  Who really don't need the world "online" in front of their names.  They are my friends, pure and simple.  And I am so lucky to be a part of this group.

A few weeks ago I received a package in the mail from England.  One my my best blogging friends had wanted to send a gift to Baby Girl.  She knitted hats for our new girl, for Cici and of course for Henry too.

How amazing is that?  Thank you Amanda, for your constant words of encouragement here on the blog, and for taking the time to make something so special for our sweet babies.

I am mailing out three packages today.  Packages for a Secret Santa, and two other packages of baby boy Christmas clothes. I may not yet be ready to sell his stuff, but I can share them.  I can send a few things to my close friends who have little boys of their own.  All three packages are going to friends.  Friends I have met online.

Thank you for being here, and thank you for supporting me.  I am not sure how people do these things alone.  My friends and family here, my friends and family online.  Without you, this would seem impossible.  Both the good and the bad.  The infertility and the heart break it brings, but mainly the love, the parenting.  It is so much easier with a village of loved ones that love this little guy almost as much as I do.

My little dinosaur

Bio Girl Goes Big Time

Well, it's official. Bio Girl has entered the big time. I officially decided to buy a domain address for this site! It's a big decision. I mean, it's an entire $10... per year. So you know, not something to enter into lightly. So what is the new address? Well, since I took SO LONG to decide to make this jump to "legitimate blogger who owns a domain" status, several of the logical choices for the site were taken. But after begging twitter for help I ended up going with... drum roll please....

www.biogirlblog.com

Welcome. Have a seat and stay awhile at my new domain. I am sure you all are more comfortable now that the pesky dash is gone. And the extra dot. And the entire word 'spot'. It's just so modern and stream lined now. God, I should have done this years ago.

Have no fear, if you have the blogspot address bookmarked or you are extremely against any sort of change. That site will always work too. It's like I am in two places at one time. Which, you know, is sorta a dream come true.

So bookmark the new page. Tell you family, tell your friends. We are legit around here.

While I am doing some blog upkeep, does anybody know how to make it so I have a little lab flask (like is in my header) up by the address instead of the blogger B ? Now that would REALLY make my blogging day!



***Update*****

Turns out that Blogger B is called a favicon and thanks to my awesome readers I have now changed it to the flask (science kinda flask, not alcohol flask!) that is in my header!

I am a blogging nerd and these things make me happy.

Other Pictures

So the shower pictures... you must wait. I went to load them at 11:30 last night and realized that red eye had totally taken over in nearly every picture. I didn't have time to edit, so... tomorrow! I promise! (fingers crossed. Just in case)

For today I want to show you what my brother in law and his girlfriend got me for my birthday.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...


Ahhhh hahaha! I do actually have it on at work right now. (Of course I do.) How awesome is it? Chris hacked into my blog code to get the image. I am thinking I could take him for all he's got.

We actually were all together on Sunday to celebrate mine and my Mother in laws birthdays. Here is a grainy sorta wonderful picture of Henry piling around with said brother-in-law and family.
And here is Henry with his Neena and Nicole putting candles on the birthday cakes. Adorable.

It was a really good day. I am a lucky girl. 

*Bio Girl shirts on sale now.

*Not really.

*Unless someone besides me actually wants one.

Creme de la Creme

Every year I look forward to the Creme de la Creme. On  January first I make myself a cup of coffee and sit down at my computer to start reading. I usually only make it through maybe the first ten blogs that morning. I carefully write down my place and pick up the next day with where I left off. It may take me the month to read them all, but it is always my goal to finish each and every entry. They are beautiful and touching and funny and heartbreaking. Each one is special, and each one worth the time it takes to read.

Melissa from Stirrup Queens is once again putting this amazing list of blog posts together, and I wanted to let you know so you can be apart of it if you want.  This isn't a contest.  You don't have to hope your post makes the list.  You just submit your best infertility/loss/adoption/parenting post and it will be on the list.  Don't be shy.  We all take the time to blog, we are all proud of what we write.  Not every post is amazing, but over the course of 2011 I am sure you wrote one you are proud of.  One you would like to share.  So click on over to the list and sign up.  Read through the post on how the list works first, but know that it is simple. And it is fun.  And it is rewarding to be apart of a list that is such a labor of love for Melissa. We are all so lucky to have her in the community.  She helps to bring us together, and one way she does that is with the Creme de la Creme.  Won't you join us?

The Best of the Adoption/Loss/Infertility Blogs of 2011

Just to Avoid a Dance Off

So I was tagged in a Meme. And more importantly, it was by my friend Whitney. And Whitney... well... when she wants you to do something, she may sometimes come across as a touch pushy*. So, when I told her on gchat that I would not be participating in said meme, because I am lazy, I got the "SARAH! It's EASY! JUST DO IT." And I was like, "It's not easy WHITNEY!" But deep down she knew I would cave. Because she could maybe hurt me if she wanted to, and could totally beat me in a dance off if she wished to challenge me.

So, in order to avoid such a scene I just decided to go ahead and participate. But first I should apologize to all of you out there that have given me great blogging awards and tagged me in your own meme's. I have no excuse for not participating besides I am a rebel. Or because even though I am always excited when see I got something, I always promptly forget to ever post anything about it over here. So.... thank you all for the cool stuff you give me! I am sorry I seem to ignore it. I do appreciate it, I promise. It commonly makes my day! But apparently it requires a 15 year friendship, some all cap yelling my name and the threat of a possible dance off to get me to participate. I am lame.

Oh wait! before we start with the meme, I wanted to tell you all that I did a guest post this week! I am very excited to be the newest blogger to be writing over at Kir's Corner for Proud Mommy Moments. Stop by and read my proudest mommy moment. It's kinda sorta a sweet post. So, check it out if you have time.

Okay, on to the Meme:

1) My Most Beautiful Post: Oh lord. WHITNEY. Already...with the hard. Okay, I will go with this one. I have always loved this post and I sorta think it's beautiful.

2) My Most Popular Post: Based on both traffic and comments, this is one of my top posts. And I know it's sad. It's the day after out Last Chance FET failed. But the love and support that came from you all really helped me through a dark time. So, I am happy it was popular. Because sometimes it's more important to feel love and support at the hardest times.

3) My Most Controversial Post: I have no idea. I am not a controversial blogger. Like at all. I am a people pleaser. Still...breastfeeding posts are by nature sometimes a little controversial, so we will go with this one.

4) My Most Helpful Post: Hmmm... I am also not helpful. (This blog doesn't really give back, does it?) Maybe my Road Map for IVF's. I did one for FET's too, but I can't seem to find it now. But still, I guess the IVF one was sorta helpful, right?

5) A Post Whose Success Surprised Me: I was actually really surprised that you all enjoyed this story so much. I remember writing it, and really wasn't sure if it would be funny to anybody but me. But actually, I think that about lots of my posts.

6) A Post I Didn’t Think Got The Attention It Deserved: Ummm.... maybe this one? Just because I wrote it early on in blogging, so most of you haven't read it. Unless you read that post where I did what I figured were my top ten posts. (Because that is where I am getting a lot of these answers)

7) The Post I Am Most Proud Of: Okay, I am going to say this one about Missy and the cancer returning... mainly because it feels very honest. It was a difficult time, and I think my words came through better than I would have thought possible. Sad one to end on, but a very good post.

Okay! That's it. I did it! I would not call it easy (WHITNEY) but it was enjoyable. So, if you want to do it on your blog, I tag you!

*Whitney prefers to be called "Determined". Not pushy.

Reviewing the Disturbing

I am really enjoying doing book reviews for Blogher Book Club, but this latest one was a little tough to stomach. How do you write a review for a book that, although you think is well written, you would never in a million years suggest a friend or family member pick up and read? That's what I have tried to do with my latest review. Give credit to an amazing author, while at the same time saying that it went too far for me. That it feels too real, too graphic and too damaging to actually be enjoyed.

If you want to read my entire review of Sapphire's 'The Kid', it is now live on Blogher! I would love to know if you agree with me, that some subjects are just too upsetting to read about and enjoy, or if you think a well written book is always worth reading and recomending.

The Other Side

Yesterday, after posting about the pain I have been feeling when seeing pregnant mothers, I got an email from a reader named Rebecca. She has a daughter Henry's age, and she told me that she has had recurring miscarriages over the last year. While searching the Internet for infertility and loss blogs she came across mine and started reading. Not commenting, but silently following along with our family and our journey to have another baby. Just like lots of you all out there. She told me my feelings were perfectly normal. That she has had them too, and she discussed what helped her to get past them. It was a wonderful email, helpful and sweet.

Oh, and there was one other thing. She lives in my town. And she was at our local pool on Wednesday. And she saw me and Henry. And she is pregnant with her second child.

Right. So... basically she was most likely one of the pregnant bellies I was looking at with jealous eyes on Wednesday. She was one of the women I thought "Why her and not me" about. I cannot begin to imagine having recurring miscarriages. I follow along with several blogs that have lost babies and my heart breaks every time they experience a loss. The fact that Rebecca is now pregnant with her second child, and it is going well enough to be showing...it's amazing. It's a gift. And I am so very happy for her. And I hate that I may (did) look at her with jealous eyes.

You never know a persons story. Everyone has their struggles. Even if they aren't fertility struggles, we all have our stuff. I know my feelings of jealousy are normal. I know that it's okay to let myself feel how I feel. All of your comments of support and understanding mean so much to me. But Rebecca, thank you for telling me you were there. Thank you for reminding me that just because someone seems to have what I want on the outside, it doesn't mean that I would want to trade luck. It doesn't mean that I can even begin to imagine walking in their shoes. I hope that when those feelings of jealousy return, I can remember Rebecca. Or maybe even that I can just remember that we all have stuff. We all have our paths in life, and that this is mine. And mine is pretty damn good.

**Also, just as a side note, it amazes me that I could be recognized from my blog by people in town. Like, it blows my mind. But this is actually the second time it has happened. If you ever see me out and about, please don't be afraid to come say hi! I love to meet people who read our story.**