here i go again

It’s been a while. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but it has. I meant to take a short hiatus that became much longer than anticipated. Like years longer. Rather than a lengthy explanation, let it suffice to say, that I’ve been here the whole time. Not here here, but here. I have felt the urge to blog again in the old way. Perhaps it is an approach that is no longer embraced in the age of tik tok, limited attention spans, and instant gratification, but this practice began as just me for me and that’s all it ever has to be. I miss it, and that, for now, is enough.

can we skip to the good part

My name is France and I have decision paralysis. I become easily overwhelmed by too many choices. Do I have commitment issues? Yes, yes I do. It takes me FORever to settle on a format or an approach for documenting my stories every year and the moment I do I imagine it could be better? I envy those of you that put your money on a horse and ride that baby to the finish line. Why can’t I pick a horse? Did I mention I was indecisive?

Allow me to issue a warning. This will not be terribly riveting but here you have it, a timeline if you will:

my project life album circa 2014

Tues evening: I pull out some of my favorite past projects and spend a good hour weeping and laughing. As if I wasn’t being melodramatic enough I began playing Whitney Houston’s “Didn’t We Almost Have it All.” We did. We really did. Those pre-Covid memories were intense. By Wednesday morning I was so certain that a 6x8 pocket page album was the front runner that I even told my friends. By Wednesday night I was already getting squirrelly. Thursday I was in the throes of indecision. It wasn’t pretty. By Friday I started to gain some clarity remembering the wise words of my grandfather…”it’s the purpose not the project.” He right. Sometimes those old perfectionist tendencies creep back in and I have to work to reject them. Perfectionism is rooted in Inferiority. This belief that you won’t meet expectations. That you aren’t enough just as you are. I’ve talked myself out of a lot of things over the years out of fear that it wouldn’t be perfect, that I would fail, but I’ve since done the work, I’ve got strategies and one of them is reminding myself that whatever I do will be fine. I will be fine. Failure can be opportunity, indecision can be flexibility. I can always adjust and do more or less or nothing at all. Allow the process to just unfold. Trust myself.

Look at me showing growth.

this is a mini I made in 2017 that I never finished, but I love what I did finish and want to do it again this year

So, what did I ultimately decide? I’m just gonna make a chunky minibook heavily inspired by the Details workshop I took years ago by Tina Azmus of Life Love Paper. Sadly this class is no longer available, but it was in 2015. The version created by AndreaCollects is a favorite. This, along with my daily journaling, my art journals and the various themed projects I do throughout the year will be enough and if I need to shift things…well then I’ll shift away. Right now I’m working on a Hindsight 2021 album based on the Life Captured class I took with Kari Stiles last year. I don’t think this class is still available, but the kit is and I loved it. More on that later. Until then, keep well my friends.

endings and beginnings

Welcome 2022. In the words of Adele, go easy on me, or all of us really. Truth be told I feel fortunate to be sitting here in front of the fire sipping my coffee and typing away. I am filled with gratitude that I have come through another year relatively unscathed and with my health and humor in tact. I told my husband that if 2021 taught me anything, it’s that I have remained insatiably curious. I will carry that energy into 2022 because it has served me well.

Since we are now 3 days deep into a new year, I have not been blind to the onslaught of apps and aids promising to help me get my life in order. It use to be my favorite part, the acquisition of a new planner, habit trackers, goal setters and meal plans all in an effort to help me become the most organized and productive version of myself. That would make me happy.

That would make me happy?

Well, we all know what happened in 2020, right? The spectacular cancellation of all things as a pandemic descended upon us. Regardless of your thoughts on the particulars none of us can deny that our plans went to shit. 2021 was really just 2020: the extended cut. After a small bout of depression and my ever present anxiety hosting the party, I threw my planner out. I decided that I didn’t need to see progress that wasn’t happening. I didn’t need to be reminded to breathe when I caught myself checking and rechecking my breathing several times a day in low key panic. Tracking, counting, trying to close activity rings…it was all just making me feel worse. This never ending pursuit of improvement is just effing exhausting.

And you know what happened when I stopped?

Nothing. I actually kept progressing without all the pressure. The realization set in that I didn’t have to earn rest. I could just relax when I felt like it. I learned that health looks and feels different for everyone. I learned that food can be something I don’t think about all day. I learned that “no pain no gain” is bullshit and dancing is way more fun. I learned that I didn’t have to clean or do laundry or wash dishes before scrapbooking. I had been living my life by these arbitrary rules that were meant to make me feel like a better human without ever considering if it did or why I proritized those things. As any child of an immigrant can tell you, your worth is determined by your contribution. How hard you work and how much you work. That stuff seeps into all areas of your life. Our entire society is built on the strange and shaky premise that “hard work” equates worthiness and entitlement. That we are only as good as what we produce. That we must work hard in order to play hard.

Well, that’s the shit that had me out here buying planners for decades and thinking the elusive “right one” would change my life. UGH!! So, does this new “no planner” lifestyle of mine mean I eschew plans and goals and productivity? haha, kind of. No, seriously, it doesn’t mean that. It just means that they aren’t my main reason for living. It means I’m trying to do things differently. I still have goals and a large desk calendar. I have a daily journal and a weekly To Do list. I still use my phone to remember birthdays, meetings and appointments. I still plan out my creative projects…I just don’t let any of that stuff make me feel like crap about myself. Checked boxes don’t make me feel accomplished, but a good night sleep sure does and I’m sleeping pretty pretty pretty good these days.

On that note, my return to blogging feels uneventful. I’m still trying to figure out what Memorykeeping will look like this year. It’s all TBD at the moment. I hope to have more on that to share next Monday. Until then, keep well my friends.

Everyday Explorers Co. Sept. Release

Yay! It’s release day over in the EEC shop and I’m excited to share what I have created so far. I fell in love with the new set designed by Felicitas Meyer called “Mixed Marks.” It’s ideal for the scrapbooker that loves a mixed media vibe minus the mixed media mess. I can see using this in my art journal and my scrapbook regularly.

In addition to my TN layout, I also played around with this month’s Minibook Maker Kit. The theme is “Favorites.” What I love about these kits…besides how well designed they are, is how open to interpretation each theme can be. It’s such a simple way to get stories down on paper. Head on over to the shop and check out this month’s offerings.

Essentials by Ellen Holiday Release Blog Hop

if you’ve made your way here from Emily’s blog, Hello and Welcome. I’m France, a design team contributor for Everyday Explorers Co. I was so excited to get the opportunity to play with the stamps Christine designed as part of her collab with Ellen Hutson for the Essentials by Ellen line. It features two holiday stamp sets both of which are perfect for all kinds of projects. Coordinating dies for these stamps will also be available. Be sure to check out the entire Essentials by Ellen holiday release.

Here’s a look at the first project I created using the EBE stamp set “Made This for You.” These tag gift card holders are fun and simple way to elevate your giftcard giving this season. The stamp set features a mix of sentiments and delightful holiday inspired icons perfect for decorating cards and tags. The small images would even work well to create your own patterned paper. I can’t wait to try that next. Coordinating dies are also available.

The second project I made features the “Warmest Wishes” stamp set. It’s perfect for creating handmade greetings and gift tags. It includes Christine’s signature style of classic sentiments with clean bold type treatments. I can definitely see this set becoming a holiday essential.

I also wanted to let you know that Ellen Hutson is giving you the opportunity to win prizes! One lucky commenter will win the whole Essentials by Ellen holiday release! And another will receive $25 to spend at ellenhutson.com! For a chance to win, all ya' gotta' do is hop along, enjoy the fabulous eye candy, and leave a little love for your fellow crafters: increase your chances by commenting on each stop on the hop! Comments left before 11:59 PDT on October 14 will be entered to win. (Winners are selected randomly.)

Now it’s time to keep the party going and move on to Lisa’s blog next.

If you haven’t already, you can see the full list of blog hoppers here: EBE Holiday Release Blog Hop

xo

december daily

The other day I went back into the old Bananafishstudio archives and discovered my first mention of December Daily…it was 2008- pre branding, pre trademark, pre product line. Back then it was really just Ali, a popular scrapbooker who decided to document her holiday season by creatively recording her life throughout December and turning it into a little work of art. It is now perhaps one of the most beloved memorykeeping projects and home to one of the most vibrant online communities within the scrapbooking industry. Every September we all wait with bated breath as Ali, now the owner of a thriving memorykeeping brand and company, releases the new DD product. Joy and a tiny bit of disappointment inevitably abound. We flock to the Facebook group…who got what? Who will be doing what format? Who missed out? Will it be restocked? I must confess, the hype is exciting and I find myself swept up in it every year, but the reality? I have only completed my last four albums. So now I shall tell you why.

When I first saw Ali’s handmade minibook I knew I wanted to make my own…and I did. It was such fun to make…the only problem? Once the time came, I felt zero motivation to fill it. With each passing December day I felt less inspired. My photos looked like crap, I didn’t do anything interesting, I’m not religious, I don’t have kids, it doesn’t snow where I live. I don’t have a fireplace…or a cute mantle for that matter, etc. The more I thought about what I didn’t have the more I lacked motivation to document. Not exactly merry and bright, right?. I got totally caught up in the wrong stuff and that made it really hard to see and appreciate all the goodness right front of me. I decided that after a few years of making minibooks and filling them with nothing that this project just wasn’t for me. Now here’s the thing…I don’t think I was alone in that. There are so many aspects of this project that are appealing for various reasons. The delightful product, the fun community, the FOMO, the organizing and reorganizing, the preperation, the anticipation, did I mention the product? Any one of these things could be enough to convince me that I want to do it….but none of these things on their own is enough to get me to finish it…so I just decided to stop trying.

In 2015 things changed. I realized that my perspective had also changed.

2015| 6x8 Album

Ali offered a class in 2015 titled Storytelling with December Daily and I decided to take it. It had been a long time since I attempted one and I thought maybe it was time to revisit it. I didn’t really have much holiday product, but thanks to my time on the Gossamer Blue design team I received their December Memories kit designed by the amazing Liz Tamanaha of Paislee Press. This was before she started designing for Ali and the DD brand. I was so inspired by the delicious product but I still needed to figure out my reason why. Ali’s class helped with that. I discovered that in the last several years…not only was I growing and changing as a person, I was also doing so as a memorykeeper. My appreciation and love for the life I had created for myself changed my perceptions so deeply. I could now see the beauty in my OWN life…which made it that much easier to capture. Oh, and having a good camera phone and filters didn’t hurt:) The class helped me to focus on the storytelling and not just on the days. It was through this that I discovered my reason why…and it was simple.

I love December. I love that slow transition from one season to the next. I love the Winter Solstice when the earth rests and I rest with it. I love that this time of year brings out the best in me and that I am filled with immense gratitude that I made it through the last 11 months. It’s that special place at the end of one year and the beginning of another that I just give myself space to enjoy and record. That was it.

I wasn’t going to try and scrapbook in December anymore. I was going to give myself space to simply live my life, take pictures and write things down.

2016| Traveler”s Notebook

That has become my memorykeeping mantra; Live. Take Pictures. Write things down.

In December of 2015, that’s all I did. I laughed, I ate, I decorated, I was so happy to be back in the PNW. I knit, I wore sweaters and took my dog on long slow walks, I watched my favorite movies and read my favorite books, we decorated, lit fires in the fireplace, we reveled in our friends , in each other and in our home. I captured what I could, what moved me, what I wanted in photos and I kept a daily journal. Nine months later I began putting it all together.

Yup, you read that right. I don’t actually do December Daily in December…I live it, but I don’t make it. That comes several months later in September right as it slips into my beloved October and that old excitement and anticipation begins to bubble up inside me. When I’m starting to receive all of my goodies, but we still have two months until showtime…yes indeed! This is the best time to actually put together my album because it’s when I feel the most motivated and excited to do so. I like taking advantage of the momentum and working on the previous year’s stories while simultaneously revisiting our memories with the added gift of time and perspective. I have already prepared. I’ve got photos ready for printing, daily journaling to serve as a reminder and a list of stories I want to record. I know this December will be different. I know that I won’t be traveling, I won’t be seeing friends or going to the movies. I can easily make a list of all the things I won’t get to do this year…I can just as easily make a list of all the things I WILL get to do and that’s the beauty of this project. It helps me find the magic in whatever circumstance and I hope it helps you find some too…whether it will becomes a scrapbook or not…I’ll decide next September..

So here’s to October, to November and of course, December. Here’s to celebrating another season in a way that brings me joy, keeps me calm and makes me merry!

2017| Traveler’s Notebook and Handmade cover

the weekender

And here we are, Sunday evening, sipping pinot gris and returning to this long abandoned space. I found myself reading my old blog today. It was funny, absurd, long winded, sporadically deep and filled with the kind of honest storytelling I love. What happened to that? That’s a rhetorical question. I know exactly what happened to it. Social Media happened. Now don’t worry. I’m not going to launch into a cliche diatribe on the evils of Instagram and the culture of comparison. I never actually suffered from that particular affliction. I think growing up a chubby girl in Los Angeles made me impervious to that sort of thing. No, what I’m talking about is more insidious. Social Media has a way of making the strange seem familiar and the disconnected appear connected.

It is a ruse.

But enough about that…clearly I am heading into diatribe territory. I think what I like most about blogging, if not necessarily blogs themselves, is the space to stretch. Although Instagram allows for fairly long winded posts…I don’t feel comfortable doing that. I am acutely aware that nobody goes to Instagram just for me. They are there to look, maybe like and keep it scrolling. I get it…I feel that way too. My blog is different. If you are here, then you are here for all of this. You know what you’re gonna get…or you’re at least interested in finding out.

I’m interested in finding out too.

pockets revisited

So pockets and I have reunited and it feels so good. Here’s how it came about:

When I went from doing monthly pockets to doing monthly notebooks I figured I would keep the same approach. I quickly realized that I wasn’t really inspired to create that way anymore and wanted my notebooks to be less about everyday memorykeeping and more about papercrafting. I wanted to curate little creative collections of joy by mining my own life for the stories that brought me the most happiness every month. My intention was to rediscover the craft aspect of scrapbooking and not worry as much about documenting everything. The only problem…what happens when what’s noteworthy isn’t also joyful…at least not in the moment.

All throughout 2018, as I made my beloved notebook layouts, I became increasingly aware how few pictures I was printing. It was a tough year and I had a hard time coming up with happy stories every month when I didn’t really feel all that happy. Things were happening…but they weren’t exactly bringing me much joy. I was taking photos that, while not particularly noteworthy, told a more accurate story of my daily life. Wouldn’t I want to remember that stuff too? I decided to go back and look at my old pocket pages and it was eye opening. There were so many little things I didn’t remember, so much perspective to be gained. Maybe not joy in the moment, but joy for sure in retrospect. A joy that came from overcoming, surviving and moving on. It wasn’t all puppies and rainbows, and I could tell that I wasn’t all that creative…but it was real life…there was and is value in that and my pockets gave me a place to put it.

That’s why this year I realized that it didn’t have to be either or…it could be both. Evevryday photos collected monthly in pocket pages and monthly notebooks reflecting my joy of crafting and storytelling. Maybe things will overlap every so often, but like always…I’ll just enjoy the process.

happy 2019

There it is, the first salutation of the New Year. It feels nice to be dusting off this old space…although it really isn’t so old. Blogging feels a bit strange to me. Especially when I compare it to the bite sized missives more commonly found on Social Media. The other day I found myself searching for a project I knew I posted ages ago. I ended up finding it just by typing a few words into the search engine of my old blog…ahhh technology. There it was in all its 2007 glory. Once I found it…I began a slow stroll through long forgotten posts. I didn’t realize I had recorded so much. First moves, Second moves, several craft rooms, many projects and life…there was so much life. It occurred to me that I didn’t once read comments or think of followers. I was blissfully lost in my own words. The fact is, whether I realized it in the moment or not” blogging was a most indulgent endeavor which left me with story after story. Oh why did I not continue? How could I think this exercise was pointless? I didn’t allow myself to dwell on those regrets very long. Instead I decided to begin anew.

I love Instagram…I really do, but I also like control. I have read things like “oh, they are just trying to get people to engage…to connect.” That’s all well and good, but I prefer to do that myself thankyouverymuch. I just don’t like the idea that based on buttons I push an algorithim determines what I want to see without my permission. Just pressing a button is not a statement of fact. it’s too nuanced and subject to so many different feelings and reasons to be so easily quantified and ultimately monetized. It makes choosing to follow someone somewhat arbitrary since they ultimately decide what I see and what I don’t. I feel as though we live in a “comment, like, opinion” society and truthfully, as a middle aged woman, I’m not interested in any of the above from folks I don’t even really know. I am certain you guys feel me on that, right? I don’t believe these companies care about engagement simply for the sake of it. They care about commodifying engagement. I know this and yet…I still indulge, because it’s easy and looks nice and doesn’t take a great deal of time. Fair enough.

Still…I find myself being called back to blogging. These post require an extra click…will people do that? I dunno, (insert shrugging shoulders emoji) but maybe they will. Maybe, like me…along with that style they want a bit more substance. Maybe nobody will click over and I will ultimately just be writing for myself to myself and that’s okay too. All I know is that I feel called to write. I have this space set aside for just that. And maybe…if the internet survives, I will return to this place again and again over time and engage…

with myself.

If you find yourself reading this. Hello and welcome.

gratitude junk journal

I love this time of year...the weather gets cool enough to pull out my comfy sweaters and scarves, the trees explode with color and I’m overwhelmed by a deep feeling of gratitude. Maybe that’s because the year is almost over and I’m happy to have made it this far, perhaps it’s all the comfort food I’m consuming. Either way, November has always been a good month for me and documenting that is important.

A junk journal is really just a wonderful combination of papers...usually the offcuts of larger sheets, hence the word “junk.”

You can fill it with all sorts of ephemera ranging in color and size. I decided to make the cover 5“x7” using a 12x12 sheet of patterned paper.

Once I had my mix of papers in order, I bound them together using a simple pamphlet stitch and wax thread to make it stronger. Depending on how thick you make your journal you can use a variety of binding methods including staples or binder rings. Wax thread can be purchased from Amazon and a pamphlet stitch tutorial can easily be found on You Tube.

Now your journal is ready to be filled. In addition to including a few words of gratitude every day, I also like including poetry and quotes on the subject as well as on this season of Thanksgiving. I include ephemera like my favorite tea bag wrapper or the packaging to a beloved autumn candle, and my book is never complete without tucking in a few fall leaves.

Rather than just write random things each day, I decided to base my journal on prompts. I think this is a really good way to get things started...especially on those days when nothing much is happening, yet I still want to be mindful of the things in my life for which I truly am grateful. I found several lists on Pinterest and just picked the ones I preferred/applied to me. Here‘s a look at some of the inner pages:

The good thing about creating a prompt based journal is that you can have something ready for everyday. I typed mine up and then stitched around them before adhering them into my book. In the back of my book I created a small pocket where I will put a list I made of daily gratitudes that are a bit more personal.

I really hope you consider making one of these journals...either for yourself or for a friend. They make a lovely handcrafted gift and helps to put your supplies to good use.

*This post first appeared on The Gossamer Blue blog in November 2016