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A Cowboy Valentine's Day Date

By Steve Lucas

Ladies:

If a cowboy should ask you out
On a Valentine's Day date,
Don't get in a hurry,
'Cause you can bet that he'll be late.

Some cow will sure start calvin',
'Bout the time he heads out the door,
On his way to pick you up,
He'd better check her just once more.

So by the time he finally gets there,
And knocks upon your door,
He will bear no resemblance to
The spiffy guy he was before.

His boots will be all muddy,
And his jeans will be all specked
With calf juice, and mud, and cow snot,
His hat will near be wrecked.

Then, on the way to the cafe,
He will relate every detail,
How this cute little calf had just been born,
And how he grabbed him by the tail.

And how he ear tagged and checked him,
And turned him loose just in time
When the mama cow came charging up
To squash him like a dime.

There wasn't time to go back and change,
So he came over straight away,
But he did manage to wipe off the worst of it,
With some moldy hay.

So please excuse the smell,
And the stares from those who dine,
'Cause I'm tellin' you it's an honor
To be a cowboy's valentine.

Then when dinner is over,
Maybe he will take you on a tour,
And walk through the frosty pastures
Just to check the cows once more.

Then he'll drive you home,
And go with you up the walk,
But he'll probably turn down an offer
To come inside a while and talk.

'Cause a cowboy's day starts early,
If he don't get some sleep, he'll sag,
So he'll leave you with a short poem,
Written on a paper bag.

It may not be wine and roses,
A cowboy can't always afford first rate.
He'll do the best he can for you,
On a cowboy Valentine's Day date.

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