Secret Santicorn 2025 - 1d12 Odd "Medieval" Dragons

Sylvanas_iii asks for:

A dX table of medieval dragons that look nothing like any self-respecting dragon should (e.g. the original French tarrasque) 

And thus I have found a bunch of illustrations of various dragons, most medieval, which are admittedly pretty similar. Honestly the OG Tarrasque is the best of the lot so I'll save that for last!

ROLL 1d12

1. Linear Longfellow

2. Beast of the Last Apocalypse

3. Cooler S

4. Stone-Bound Midgard Knotwyrm

5. Tatzelwurm

6. Peluda

7. Dragonogard

8. Angelcatcher

9. Graoully-Wagon

10. Gargoyle Pipedrake

11. Well Knucker

12. French Tarrasque

1. Linear Longfellow

HD10 AC Plate ML 10
Flyby attack 2d6. On hit, snatches into jaws and flies upwards!
1/day Cloud Breath Attack leaves thick cloud of moist fog.

This dragon very rarely touches the ground. It lives in thick clouds and follows along with cold fronts.
If the clouds dissipate it becomes exposed, and in its shame and horror it skims down to the ground to hunt those who saw it up there!

In combat it is swift but finds it hard to turn quickly, preferring to dart at a soft target and fly swiftly into the sky to drop the foe as many storeys as possible to their doom!

2. Beast of the Last Apocalypse

HD16 HD Chain ML 8
3 two-horned heads deal 2d6 each. 4 one-horned heads deal 1d6 each. Can grab up to 11 foes with its tails and slap them together for 1d10 per time or toss them away for fall damage.
Each head can breathe Golgotha Fumes 1/day in a sphere that triggers any prophecies within 50'.

Emerged from the sea during a previous End Time, the Final Hero never made it, and now it's at a bit of a loose end. Refuses to return to the sea. Attacks heroic individuals in the hope that it can get in on a subsequent prophecy.

In combat just goes wild grabbing people, smashing them together, throwing them at others, and eviscerating whoever's foolish enough to get in front of it.

3. Cooler S

HD6 AC Leather ML5
Bite 1d8. When hit, releases a Starburst Flash blinding all who see it until they Save vs Stun.
1/day Torchburst Beam blinds in a line.

Chubby little fellow who flees from foes and hopes to lead them into a small space where they'll easily be blinded and easily eaten.
Dead foes become a new star on its skin.

4. Stone-Bound Midgard Knotwyrm
Rock Form:
HD20 AC Plate ML12.
Regen 1d10/rd.
Wyrm Form:
HD8 AC Chain ML6
Choke 1d10. At will, transform between rock form and wyrm form.
1/day Stonelock Breath traps victims as patterns on stone until they Save vs Stun.

Accidentally summoned to life when an unwitting cultist sacrificed a seventh son of a seventh son on a particularly cool rune stone. The carving swarmed to life and devoured all in attendance!

Can shift between its original stone form (resistant, hard to hurt) and a wiggly knotted wyrm form that loves to choke and strangle.

5. Tatzelwurm

HD8 AC Leather ML9
Two claws 1d6 each, bite 1d10 + instakill poison unless Save vs Doom.
1/day Avarice Cloud transforms all the treasure on the victim(s) into another Tatzelwurm.

Cat-faced and shrill dragon whose fangs drip a deadly poison. Forms from buried treasure that remained hidden beyond the owner's death. If killed, collapses into the treasure it was made from.

6. Peluda

HD6 AC16 ML7

Bite 1d10, Tail swipe 1d6 + Poison.
If hit by an unarmed strike, attacker is poisoned unless they Save vs Doom.
1/day breathe out a flood of water that destroys crops and sweeps away foes. Save vs Stun or be washed away and prone.

This hairy beast spends its life submerged just below the water, crawling along the muddy bottom of freshwater rivers on tortoise feet.
The long fur on its body breaks up its outline, making it look like a mass of sunken reeds in clear water and practically invisible in a muddy stream.

Poisonous spikes protrude from the fur, and the same poke out of its club-ended tail which it swings with clumsy vigour.

Luckily it is something of a coward, and if confronted by overwhelming force it with breathe out a flood and hide in the choppy water as it swims away to escape. This does, however, do a number on crops and infrastructure in the flood zone.

7. Dragonogard

HD8 AC14 ML10

Front Bite 1d10. Back Bite 2 attacks per round at 1d6 each with the range of a spear.

1/day Combination Ray targets 2 foes and merges them back-to-back. No save. If one merged victim is damaged, the other takes the same. Both victims have -4 to hit and can't move unless they move at the exact same time. Victims can Save vs Doom every 24 hours, and if both are successful they unmerge.

Double-ended dragon with the front face of a kangaroo and the back face of a monkey on a serpent neck. They have a brotherly but antagonistic relationship with each other.

Prefers to jump into the air with its powerful kangaroo legs and hover while its monkey-faced tail darts down to tear off faces.

It will use its Combination Ray on people who clearly don't get along, or else two people with wildly different skillsets like attaching a Fighter to a Magic-User. 

It finds this really funny, the heads will be laughing about it for days!

8. Angelcatcher

HD6 AC14 ML5

Bite 1d10 absorbs 1 Lawful magical effect, prepared Cleric spell, or holy weapon ability and applies it to the Angelcatcher.

Immune to damage from Lawful entities and effects.

A dull-coloured dragon covered in ratlike fur and the size of a large Alsatian. It desperately wishes to devour Gods. Large bat wings allow it to fly for miles, but not high enough to reach its prey in Heaven.

The crime it committed to become immune to Gods was so heinous that they sent the Great Flood to erase all knowledge of its existence. While the knowledge was scoured, the Angelcatcher remains, quietly drifting through the sky to drop down on innocent angels like a falcon.

9. Graoully-Wagon

HD10 AC16 ML12

Crushing bite 1d20. Those in front of the moving wagon choose: take 1d10 damage or be thrown backwards 1d6*10'
1/day Procession Breath forces all in a 50' cone to push the wagon wherever it wants. Those unwilling can Save vs Chaos every ten minutes to stop.

A wooden dragon mounted on a wooden wagon. It has enormous jaws, an iron tongue, crushing teeth, and moves inexorably forward at the hands of a bunch of mind-controlled peasants who are having a wonderful time.

The Graoully-Wagon moves from town to town picking up extra people to help push it onwards and onwards.

Anyone who gets in its way is munched, thrown backwards, or crushed under its wheels.

10. Gargoyle Pipedrake

HD5 AC18 ML6

Acid Spit 1d8 plus rusts armour (-2 AC cumulative)

1/day Acid Rain Spray deals 4d8 (Save vs Blast for half) to all in 20' blast zone and rots metal away to nothing unless the save is passed.

Sentient pipework infected by the verdegrised soul of a copper dragon. Attaches to drainpipes and forms a spout. It can convert rain running through it into acid, spitting it at lone passersby during rainy nights and drooping down to slurp up the soupy residue.

It can zap to other buildings in thunderstorms by riding the lightning up and down through the clouds. A big enough storm means that it can travel to any town under the thunderhead.

11.Knucker

HD6 AC14 ML5

Bite 1d10 + drags victim down at a rate of 10'/round.
At will, cause the well or shaft they are in to become infinitely deep. 

A serpentine drake that inhabits deep vertical holes filled with water. Their natural habitat is knuckerholes, deep vertical holes in the geology, but they now prefer wells.

They are ambush predators, preferably grabbing a single victim and holding them underwater until they drown.

They can supernaturally cause the bottom of the shaft to become infinitely deep. They use this ability to hide from hunters (since if they are in the pocket dimension beneath the bottom of the well, they cannot be found) and to murder their prey (since the prey in the pocket dimension cannot get out, and if it hasn't drowned already it will soon).

12. Tarrasque

HD12 AC20 ML12

Sword-Teeth Bite 2d10 + Swallow for ongoing 1d10, tail swipe 1d8 to all in 30' arc behind it, ocular flame beam 1d8 + sets on fire at range of shortbow.

Anybody in melee range at the start of their turn must Save vs Blast or take 1d8 damage from tortoise spikes.

Counterattacks with a claw for 1d8 if a melee attack misses it.

1/day Save or Die Poison Breath Cloud 30'

A horse-sized monster as fat a a bull. It has a lion's head with massive teeth, the shell of a tortoise which is covered in spines, a long snakey tail, and six legs with enormous claws.

However it is very pious and will refuse to attack anyone bearing a holy symbol unless they attack it first, and if sprinkled with holy water it will become unable to harm anyone at all. For this reason it usually stays near water and begrudgingly accepts that this makes people think it's half-fish.

Another Underclock

I've been using Arnold's Underclock since about 5 minutes after that blog post dropped. It's great!

Trouble is I do miss the "oh shit there's something here RIGHT NOW that we have to deal with!" aspect of random encounters. So, as is my way, I've decided to nest other peoples' ideas into one thing and pretend like it's a new thing.

This is my Underclock. There are many like it but this one is mine.

Fusion: Underclock AND Overload

I mean Arnold did say "I like overloaded encounter dice. I like the Underclock more".

In summary:

• The players roll a 1d6 Encounter Die each exploration turn and mark off that many squares on the Underclock (left to right).
• The Encounter Die is overloaded so it always does something, but it's usually some sort of Clue.
• If they land on a monster face it's a classic Random Encounter. The clock keeps ticking.
• If they reach the end they have an Encounter with the local faction. Reset the clock.

Simple enough right? 1 in 6 chance of a Random Encounter every time, plus it eventually builds up to a guaranteed encounter they can prepare for.

Alertness

But what is "Alertness", I hear you ask?

This represents the organised dungeon denizens seeking you out.

The DM rolls the Alertness Die if you did something to attract attention.
Cause a ruckus, let foes escape alive, blow up a door, set off an alarm, knock a skeleton down a big well even though a wizard told you not to, that sort of thing.

The Alertness Die result marks off squares back up the Underclock towards you, reducing the time horizon until you get that guaranteed encounter.

If this overtakes your position on the Underclock, they get the jump on you with a surprise round!

The Alertness Die starts at d2 and increases a die size per encumbrance tier. 
The highest encumbrance in the party counts, because stealthily slipping through shadows doesn't matter when Sir Stabbington is stomping close behind in heavy armour and carrying a sackful of jingling treasure.

There's also the fact that sleeping in a monster-infested cave is generally a bad move, but sometimes you've got no other choice.

The Alertness Die permanently increases by one step if you sleep (in modern parlance, take a Long Rest) in a dungeon.
This resets if you leave the dungeon and spend a night on the surface.

The DM can always bump it up a level or two if you're habitually going around making extra noise. Dragging a handcart full of loot around, escorting a gaggle of kids who think it's a museum trip, wielding a singing sword who won't shut up, etc.

Local Faction

As for what the "local faction" is, this is whatever organised foes are mostly likely to be around.

This will be the Goblins in the Goblin Lair, the Necromancers in the Skeletal Hoard, the Magnet Eaters in the Technodungeon, etc etc.

In a Megadungeon you might have different local factions across a dungeon level, like Goblins in the west and Ratmen in the east.
If there is no such group, like it's an abandoned wizard's tower or forgotten tomb, this is the Mythic Underworld itself trying to eject you by means of whatever the most defining beastie is inside it. In the Antediluvian Manse it's Cataclysm Ghosts. In the Cretan Labyrinth, it's the Minotaur.

The main thing is that the players should be able to make an educated guess at what's coming for them so if the Underclock is close to running out they can make plans for ambushes, fortifications, hiding places, or fun rooms to lure their enemies into. 

Of course if the PCs are on good terms with said local faction, this could be a perfectly charming little social encounter! Yet another good reason not to murder everyone you meet.

Mêlée à Trois

There is every possibility that the players can land on a square that has a monster face and has already been marked off by the local faction.

In this case there's a random encounter and a faction encounter simultaneously.
Get chaotic! Even the random encounter is Goblins and the faction is Goblins, make up a reason why these Goblins hate each other nearly as much as they hate intruders!

Overloaded Encounter Die

Finally, the Encounter Die itself.

The players always roll a d6 and it goes like so:

1. Clue: Spoor
2. Clue: Tracks
3. Clue: Traces
4. Noise
5. Special
6. Special

Clue

These are all ways of giving the players an idea of what sort of beasties live around here, as in the original overloaded "Percept (clue, spoor)" result or Shadowed encounters on the OG Underclock.

Clue: Spoor means the creature is very close. It could be stalking you. This will be growls, shadows rushing past at the corner of your eye, still-steaming shadow effluent.
Roll a random encounter, describe the spoor, and lock it in. Next time they hit a Random Encounter it will be with that creature. Lasts until they hit the random encounter or roll a different Clue.

Clue: Tracks means the creature isn't close, but it's been here recently. This will be footprints, slime trails, clawmarks, dropped scraps, a recently devoured corpse.
Roll a random encounter, describe the tracks (and decide where it is, within a few rooms). If the players follow the tracks they can find the creature and surprise it! If they ignore the tracks, no further effect.

Clue: Traces is just evidence of the creature being around here somewhere. This will be shed fur, graffiti, a molted exoskeleton, an old nest.

Roll the encounter die and describe the traces. No further effect.

Noise

An errant sneeze, an accidental clang of the shield against a wall, an unseen femur cracked beneath your tread. Whatever it is, you've made enough noise to attract attention.

Everyone checks their current Encumbrance (in case someone has been mysteriously lax), then the DM rolls the Alertness Die.

Special

These are dungeon-specific results to give a pinch of dungeon-specific flavour.

By default (ie. common dungeon and/or if I haven't prepared something in time) these are:

5. Doors: Open doors swing closed, and closed doors become stuck this turn.

6. Lights: Light sources flicker and dim, you can barely see this turn.

In a spoopy dungeon they could be:

5. Fear! Save or drop everything and run screaming back the way you came - Save again in each room, you stop running when you finally succeed.

6. Bats! Swarm of bats puts out all light sources, those without a light Save or take 1d6 damage.

In a crashed spaceship they could be:

5. Magnetic Pulse! All metal objects (including you, if you're in metal armour) are stuck to the ground this turn.

6. Null Gravity! Everyone's floating in zero-G this turn.

Add a couple of fun effects and the dungeon will hopefully be memorable! Especially if you are...

A Victim of a Series of Accidents

If I roll a Special result that triggers an encounter, do both happen?
Can I land on a random encounter and roll a clue simultaneously?
If the Encounter Die hits a random encounter AND a Noise result, resulting in the local faction surprising me, am I fucked?

Yes.
Very very much yes.

It's up to the DM to work out this particular admixture. The more chaotic the better!

Discussion, However Brief

So basically this sub-system retains the time pressure "oh shit let's plan ahead"-ness of the Underclock with the surprising "oh shit ITS HERE!"-ness of the random encounter roll.

When the Underclock is getting close to finishing, it's probably a good idea to be extra super quiet (so they don't get the drop on you) and prepare for whatever's going to turn up (by setting up your ambush and waiting out the last few dots on the Underclock).
This won't always work of course, there's always the risk of a Noise result giving the baddies an ambush opportunity, but most of the time it's reliable...

The intelligent monsters being a guaranteed eventuality and the wandering monsters being an occasional occurrence should give each dungeon its own special flavour and its own sense-memory for my poor benighted players. After all, what's the point of invading the Goblin Caves if you never actually see a Goblin?

Most importantly the systems interlock in a way that will surprise me too!

Plus I get to update my Marching Order sheet to make the Underclock a bigger deal.

I even updated the Fleeing Table! Find it here.

Speech Impediments - For When PCs Remember a Language They've Never Spoken

We've all been there.

The party is confronted with an otherworldly horror uttering guttural chants, or behold a mysterious elven monolith covered in curling runes that twist before their eyes, or stand enraptured before the song of an ancient angel from a forgotten heaven, or receive an email from the marketing department.

Then one of your players hits you with the "oh wait that's one of my languages!" and you have to let them speak to whatever it is.

In regular D&D where you pick Languages during char gen, this happens when it turns out someone has been able to speak Gnomish or Celestial the whole time.

In my game this happens because my players insist on rolling Languages any time they come across a new creature that shows even the tiniest glimmer of sentience. This is why several characters apparently speak fluent Eastern Lowland Gorillese.
This is really very silly but it's fun enough to keep (a la the secret fourth option in this post).

What's the "solution" to this "problem"?
They obviously know the language, but given the fact that they've never even mentioned that they can speak it in months of adventuring it must have been quite a while since they did that exchange trip to the eighth circle of hell.
But they're totally fluent of course, but uhhh... how do you say...

I'm a Bit Rusty

The first time your character speaks a language that they haven't previously spoken in-game, they're rusty.

Roll 1d30:

Roll	Result
1	Can only speak in single syllables
2	Tourist phrasebook content only - "two beers please", "which way to museum?" etc.
3	They understand you but are always offended.
4	Words that start with a vowel only.
5	One word sentences only.
6	Absolutely always alliterate.
7	Words that start with a plosive only
8	Must "speak" by describing emojis.
9	Swear words only.
10	Must speak way too loudly.
11	Can only speak in quotations and metaphor.
12	Sentences must be spoken in reverse order
13	"Snake Snanguage" - all words start with the first two sounds of that language.
14	Unable to use pronouns (I/you/he/her/it/etc)
15	Unable to speak in present tense
16	No verbs
17	Speak in Haiku
18	Can only write it, not speak it.
19	Only know numbers
20	"G" and "J" must be pronounced with a soft "zh" sound, as in treasure or casual
21	No nouns
22	Last letter of one word must begin the next word.
23	One must refer to oneself as one, and instead of "we" or "they" must state the number of people in the group (eg. "One was with Four when someone robbed Two house")
24	No adjectives
25	All phrases must be an innuendo, if you know what I mean
26	All sentences must be noun-verb-object
27	Must stand on one leg while speaking
28	Overly formal, everyone must have a title, no contractions, etc etc
29	Every noun must be described by an incongruous and/or false adjective.
30	Can speak the language but only in a cartoonish over the top accent.

When you speak that language you must abide by the rolled limitation.
This represents your character pausing to think, forgetting words, getting tones wrong, using the wrong conjugations, and other such issues with dredging up the language you haven't used in a long time.
Failing to do so means you've said complete gobbledegook and nobody understands what you just said.

In subsequent sessions it's all come back to you and you are completely fluent.
Presumably you quickly brushed up on some refresher notes, or beseeched the Horrible Green Owl to reinstate your streak.

Specialists, of course, are always fluent from the get-go. Skills are their whole deal after all.

Inspired by the meta-diseases over at Beneath Foreign Planets.

Investments and Business Ventures: Yahtzee Edition!

You've been adventuring for months. You're on that sigma grindset. You want to make your money work for you.

Wine, women and song? Loser talk! 

Real winners have a system that works for them. It's not gambling, it's entrepreneurship!

The only way to lose is not to play!

Get in on the ground floor!

State your business, declare your stake, and choose your investment risk.

Stable: 1d6
Risky: 2d6
Wild: 5d6

At the start of every session you are at the table, roll your dice.

Odds decrease, evens increase. Sum them up and your stake changes by the percentage.

Example:
I have a stake in a Risky business. I roll a 3 and a 6. My stake increases by (-3+6) = 3%.

Market Forces!

Take a risk and reap the rewards! 

You're not a gambler! You're a market enabler! You're a job creator!

Doubles:

Roll doubles to gain a special extra effect. Obviously this is only possible at Risky or Wild levels!

1s: Bankrupt! Get ready to cast Sorrowful Zoom Call. Your business has been wound up as a going concern. Sackville-Baggins & Associates is ripping the copper wire out of the walls as we speak. Return to the business location within a reasonable timeframe and you can get half your stake back from the liquidation.

2s: Franchised! There's a branch or outpost of your business in the local area! If not right here then in a conveniently nearby town of your choice! Next time you may reroll one die.

3s: Financial Turbulence: The financial gods declare you to be more risky than hoped. Next time you roll at +1 risk level. If already at Wild, roll an extra d6.

4s: Surprise Merger! Your business and another player at the table's business have merged against the advice of the CMA! Each business affects the other, so if you're not there you get the result of their roll. If you're both at the table, decide whether you roll separately (affecting each other) or together (at a risk level you decide). PLUS your next roll has "roll 1 extra, drop 1".

5s: Local Disruption: -10% value you say? At least, you say?? The DM places a nominally single-session dungeon nearby (monster lair, 5 room dungeon, etc) which has caused this terrible turn of events. Clear the dungeon within a reasonable timeframe and you get to make it up with an extra business roll at the end of the session.
6s: Huge Profits! To the moon baby! Infinite profit is possible in a finite system! Your stake gains an additional +1d100% value!

Yahtzee(tm) Dice(tm)

This isn't a mere startup, it's a moonshot! Your employees are NPCs and those 20 hour days are the price of success! Let's go CEO! Let's become a centicorn!

Yahtzee Hands:

Roll yahtzee dice sets to get extra special extra effects. Yahtzee hands are only possible at Wild level, but you already knew that because you are a seasoned investor!

None: 

Chance. All dice and doubles apply as normal.

3 of a Kind: 

Critical Hit! Double your percentage gain/loss. Double effect is doubled too (ie. bankruptcy grants quarter value on return, huge profits return 1d200% value, etc)

4 of a Kind: 

Brand Power! Everyone in the local area knows the business by name. There’s a significant amount of merch and you’re basically a living colonel sanders. Your business roll adds a permanent additional 6.

Full House: 

Blessed by the Invisible Hand! You got a triple AND a double! Choose to ignore or double the effects of each dice set.

Small Straight (4 in a row): 

Capitalist Questing Beast. The DM places a monster out there which will give you a permanent additional 6 if you kill it. Go forth!

Large Straight (5 in a row): 

Anointed by the Invisible Hand! Every time you roll for your business, you can reroll any number of them and take the new result.

Yahtzee (5 of a Kind): 

Global Domination! 10x value! There is a branch of the business in every large town you come across! Bankruptcy is now impossible - treat a Bankrupt result as +0% value.

PS. Imagine updating your investment rules and realising that they were last created a decade ago.

Some Monsters

It might sound like heresy to the old school crowd, but even if you're running an old school game you should have a peek at the 5e Monster Manual when you're statting up monsters.

Read through the Labyrinth Lord/OSE/S&W/etc Monster Manuals and you'll get a lot of generic stat blocks of predictable HD/AC/ML and the sort of generic claw/claw/bite or weapon attacks you could have made up yourself. This results in the evergreen tip of Just Use Bears.

Meanwhile 5e will at least give a generic Goblin the ability to run and hide as a bonus action.

Basically if you've run enough D&D and you're running an OSR module with not much prep time, give the 5e MM listing a quick glance to see if there's anything interesting the monster could be doing beyond 3 attacks at 1d6/1d6/1d8.

The other thing about running anything is that you've got about a hundred different things zooming through your head at a time, so if there's an ability it should be pretty easy to remember and simple to adjudicate, and if there's some sort of contextual trigger you should probably just tell the players as soon as seems reasonable (that way it's in their head instead) and/or tie it to something obvious like death throes or odd/even damage rolls.

You can also have a Recharge mechanic like 4e monsters - special abilities are recharged (and usually immediately used) on a d6 roll.

So in that vein here are some normal monsters.

Black Pudding

HD10 AC13 ML12

Menacing pile of jet black ooze that dissolves pretty much anything that's not stone.

Fears fire, but not light. Immune to acid, poison and cold.

When hit by a stabby or choppy weapon, splits into two smaller oozes with half the HP which each have the same attack.

Hits for 2d10 damage. Hits deal a Notch to armour. Weapons that touch it are also Notched.

Slow but can squeeze through very small gaps no worries. A terror.

Carrion Crawler

HD3 AC12 ML5

Squirming maggoty corpse eaters with a full 8 attacks from their 8 flailing stingers. 

Each hit deals a Pain Poison (1-in-HD chance to pass out per round) but no damage. 

Bites for a mere 1d4, but that's cold comfort when you and your friends are paralyzed.

Deep Ones

HD2 AC14 ML9

4-eyed frog monsters.

2 claws for 1d6 each + paralyzing bite for 1d6: as much Pain Poison on failed Save vs Doom.

Long ranged hand-tongue attack - on hit they suck you towards them (for small things) or them to you (for brutal leap). Successful tongue attack means they get a free bite or wrestle at +4 to hit.

Deep One "Mermaid"

HD4 AC14 ML9

2 claw attacks for 1d6 + magic pheremones charm all who scent them. 

She looks like the woman of your dreams. If you're not into women you get a +4 bonus to the Save vs Doom or be Charmed and do whatever she wants - usually get implanted with frogspawn.

1d4 hours gestation time (Roll 1d4 every hour - on a 4 it's time). Save vs Doom or rupture as the eggs erupt from your throat.

Eggs swell into Sea Salties after 24 hours immersed in water. A Sea Saltie that sinks to a great pressure will hatch into a male Deep One. A Sea Saltie that's swallowed replaces your tongue with a baby female Mermaid that will grow and slip out of your mouth into fresh water in a few weeks.

Swallowing a Sea Saltie gives you an hour of water breathing and pressure resistance from the unnatural mutagens. Further sea salties don't breed more mermaids though!

Dwimmerdragon

HD9 AC16 ML9

Wingless dragon-ish creatures made of Azoth-enriched stone, siblings to the Dwarves and originally designed as protectors of the Dwimmermount mines.

Alas, they cannot leave the Azoth area without falling ill and slowly turning back to stone.

They make Stone Sons of themselves, original masters of the technique.

They are chatty and vain, prone to flattery.

They are covered in pearls and gems, a side effect of the stone son procedure, worth 1d10*1000 obols.

Roll 1d6 for their attack each round:

1-2: 1d6/1d6/3d10 claw/claw/bite 

3-4: Garlicy sulphur-breath deals their HP in a cloud and turns extremities of non-stone creatures to dirt.

5: Roll two spells and cast one of them as a L9 Wizard.

6: Sink into stone and regenerate 1d10 HP.

Gargoyle

HD4 AC14/20 ML7

Weeping Angel style menaces. While in line of sight they are statues - AC20, take 1 damage from non-magical. 

When not seen they are blindingly fast dusky blue winged creatures that leap and strike with a claw/claw/horn for 1d6 each.

Smashing a gargoyle turns the area pitch black - as Darkness 15' Radius.

Gelatinous Cube

HD4 AC12 ML12

Practically invisible. 

Pseudopod attack on all in melee range for 1d6. 

Envelops stunned people for 1d8 damage/round. Wrestle at +8 to escape.

When damaged Save vs Stun or get as much Pain Poison. 

Giant Boring Beetle

HD4 AC14 ML6

Huge beetles with big mandibles. Bite 5d4. Drones on and on.

All Boring Beetles are linked in a giant hivemind. They act as one and all roll the same die - it applies to all attacking beetles.

If you are bitten by a Boring Beetle you are infected with their Boring Hive Mind and get the same roll as the beetles. This lasts until a Boring Beetle rolls under your Wisdom Score with an attack.

Giant Stag Beetle

HD5 AC16 ML6

Surprisingly stealthy. Giant stag beetle loves to grab and pinch and crush!

Two attacks. On hit, 1d8 damage and Wrestle at +10. Deals 1d20 damage in a Wrestle.

Can move around normally while Wrestling, hoping to drag prey into a dark corner.

Giant Tick

HD2 AC14 ML8

Huge arm-length ticks that crawl up you and stick their whole head in your body to feed on your blood.

Horribly fast. 

Drain 1d6 HP and 1 Constitution from their victim per round. Drop off if burned, submerged, or killed.

Victims Save vs Doom after combat or contract the tick's paralysing disease - every day Save vs Doom or lose 1 point of Strength. Pass 2 days in a row to recover.

Green Slime

Drops on living things to turn them into more of it. Awareness check to avoid as it falls.

Deals 1d6 Constitution damage/rd (Save vs Doom for half) until scraped, burnt or frozen off.

Burning always works (and deals 1d6 damage to the recipient), the slime leaps away from the open flame.

Scraping deals 1d6 damage and the recipient gets a Save vs Doom to make the green slime get gone.

Destroyed by fire and sunlight.

Hell Hound

HD4 AC12 ML12

Stitched-together corpse frankensteins made from dogs.

Bite for 1d10. 

Breathes flies and glowing green poisonous vomit in a cone for 1d8 damage + Notch armour and weapons. Recharges on a 1-2.

Can detect invisible with exceptional hearing and smell.

Horrible Unicorn Persons

HD6 AC15 ML8

Astonishingly fast (hence AC) and pale white. An attempt to make a perfect being that went horribly wrong. Won't attack virgins unless attacked first. Androgynous, nude, no genitals.

Double damage horn ram on charge, attack at +8 and wield great weapons that lend them +2 damage from strength. 2 attacks - 1 gore with horn for 1d8, 1 weapon attack usually a greataxe for 1d10+2. Punch for 1d6 in a pinch.

Phase Spider

HD5 AC14 ML8

Spiders whose webbing phases into the Ghost Dimension. 

While on the webs, these spiders can phase in and out at will. Off the webs, it takes a Move.

Bite deals 1d6 damage and as much Pain Poison on a failed Save vs Doom. The venom phases you into the Ghost Dimension while it's in your system. Good luck!

Roper

HD10 AC16 ML8

Classic stalagmite monster.

50' reach with its 1d8 damage tentacles.

On hit, grabs you by the leg and pulls you through the air towards its maw. You've got two tries to escape the Wrestle, else 1d20 damage per chomp.

Rust Monster

HD5 AC12 ML6

Strange cockroach-like beasts with whipping antennae, rust monsters rust metal and eat the rust. Dreaded by all.

2 tentacle whip attacks deals 1d4 Notches to metal armour on hit.

Hitting it deals 1d4 Notches to metal weapons.

If it crumbles a weapon or armour to rust it'll spend a round eating it up, very cute.

Shambling Mound

HD10 AC18 ML12

A mass of moist vegetation around a supremely hard to hurt (thus AC 18) moist wet core.

Two clubbing limb attacks for 1d8 each. If both hit, auto-grapples and engulfs, suffocating you and dealing 2d8 damage per round.

Lightning attacks heal it for traditional reasons. Vegetation is too moist to burn so takes only 1 damage per die from fire attacks. 1 damage from Smashy or Stabby weapons.

Wight

HD4 AC12 ML12

Humanoid shapes full of shadow and burning black fire.

Immune to mundane.

Armour piercing 1d4 ghostly chilling touch + Save vs Doom or Level drain (down to just under level up). Inform the players of this as soon as they see the Wight and see how they react!

Anyone drained by a Wight becomes a 2HD Wight under its control, their soul dragged from their body by a spectral claw and turned to burning darkness.

Ravenous Zombie

HD3, AC14, ML12.

A zombie that ate a brain and became fast and intelligent. Glowing red eyes give them away. 

Vicious and can speak, mostly to mock and coordinate. 

2 claw attacks for 1d6 each. 

Always burst down the person with the most Bleed dice, or otherwise least HP. 

Ravenous Mode lasts 10 minutes, so usually walk around like a regular zombie until they spot prey.

Zombie
HD1, AC13, ML 12.

1d6 claw. Double HP. Slow as hell - they have a special third initiative behind everyone else.
If they eat an intelligent creature's brain - become a Ravenous Zombie.

Horde: +1 Backstab per zombie in melee range of their target.

Bad Weather after Judgment Day

The world has ended and the weather is fucking terrible.

Oh it's not as bad as a decade ago, when the poison storm of a Gas Front would sweep through and turn your body into even more poison, but you still don't want to be caught out in this new weather. It sucks.

These are 6D weather tables a la WWCD.
Roll a d6 and move the weather in that direction. If it would go back, go forward.
If you reach the edge, stop if you hit an X. Otherwise reverse course.

Weather can have Outfield effects (ie. what happens during each 4 hour Watch of travel) and/or Encounter effects that kick in during smaller timescale activities like chats or fights.

And so -

There's very little white Clear weather in the Spring, so you're usually looking at green Haze or purple Rain with a chance of intermittent brown Sporestorms.

Spring

Clear: Rare but occasionally occurs after the rains. Clear skies and clear sinuses. A mercy.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion.

Hayfever Haze: Sneezing and coughing and trying not to rub your tired red eyes because the pollen is everywhere. Nevertheless this is generally the best you've got for travelling weather.

Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion

Metamorphic Rain: Like a nice warm shower which is lovely until you see what it's doing to your skin and your clothes. Absolutely do not get it in your eyes. Whorls in your flesh where the droplets pulled your skin with them, your axe-haft is growing leaves, your axe-head is looking at you.

Outfield: Exposed equipment gains a Notch.

Spore Storm: Fat chunks of fungal matter bloom across the landscape, soon bursting to release a choking fog thick with spores. You can barely see through the smog, but that's ok because the hallucinogenic visions are really starting to kick in.

Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion and Save vs Doom to avoid taking 1 Wisdom damage.

Encounter: Slowed, and crit/fumble range increased by +4.

Thorn Warning: The air fizzes with static and the sky is covered with a low ceiling of unbroken cloud. The Growth is coming. Animals flee only to be snatched into the sky by the thing (things?) that live up there.

Encounter: Within a few minutes of killing something it's lifted into the clouds by sticky threads. If you stop to loot or butcher a corpse, 1d10 Cloudfinger tendrils soon follow.

The Growth: Feel the soil, feel the loam, let yourself go to heal the world with the blood that is turning to sap inside your veins. Kneel down and kiss the Earth and take it into you. Heal the world with your soft embrace.
Outfield: Take 1 Constitution damage per Watch as your body converts to plant life.

Goblins are not immune, but they become big mushrooms instead and retain their consciousness within the fungal mycelia.

Real life example! The weather was Clear then went through the Warning and a brief Summer Storm. Luckily for them, they were in a dungeon when The Hive occurred.
Summer has plenty of white Clear hexes, which leads to cloudless summer skies which can last for days at a time..

Summer

Clear: Warm and bright, silver clouds covering the worst of the sun. In the summer these warm days can stretch for weeks.
Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Insect Heat: Hot days buzzing with lazy insects and bumbling bees. Comfortable long days of sunshine and joy and strolling by the hedgerows and falling asleep only to find that you've got a whole day left. Too hot for heavy armour though, I'll tell you that much.

Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if wearing Heavy gear.

Encounter: Clouds of biting flies are attracted to any bloodshed. Dead creatures attract a cloud of flies that Slows anybody nearby. Take Bleed damage even if you Stay Down.

Summer Storm: After the sticky days, a smell of petrichor followed by the lashing rain. Cool and fresh and so very beloved by plants, you could swear that the grass is growing high and lush before your very eyes.

Outfield: Half Overland speed.
Encounter: Ranged attacks at -4

Heatwave: Absolutely stinking hot. Too hot to think, practically too hot to breathe. A real bastard of a day, but the bugs don't seem to mind.

Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion, 2 if wearing Heavy gear.

Encounter: Anyone in Medium or Heavy gear is Slowed.

Swarm Warning: Wispy cirrus clouds high overhead and a subtle crackle as metal zaps against metal. Flying insects fizz and pop, flash-fried by the electricity that makes your hair stand on end, only to be devoured by the smarter kind of beetle who knows to stay in contact with the ground.

Encounter: Hitting metal with metal causes a spasm of static, making the victim(s) Dazed for a round and making them drop held objects.

The Hive: They're inside you you can see them under the skin crawling inside you where did they come from why are your pores getting larger and larger and the glimmer inside is shiny and they're all so shiny and crawling and scuttling and they are nice they are friends they are part of you this is how it should be

Outfield: Take 1 Strength damage per Watch as your flesh becomes home to thousands of insects.

Goblins become hollowed out with seeds, and beloved by pollinating birds.

Autumn is very changeable and very rarely Clear, but at least the red doom weather is always preceded by a Warning, and so often swings away.

Autumn

Special: In Autumn the weather brings abundant Forage, trivially gathered. Every traveller gets one ration of the appropriate Forage per Watch if they want it, and falls deeper into the dreary malaise of Autumn if they eat it.

Clear: Damp moist air and clear bright skies. Rare but beloved. A welcome but short-lived respite.

Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Melancholy Mists: You sigh and you yearn for purpose. There are better things beyond the mists. Lives lived with meaning. Unlike yours. Your goals and dreams are a bit silly really, not the sort of things that other people would care about. Still, travelling weather if you care to try.

Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion.

Forage: Fat berries grow on the thorny bushes, eating them sustains you but makes you lose yourself in painful memories. Eating them deals 1 Cha damage.

Forgetful Rain:  A sustained drizzle that falls with a white noise susurration that makes your mind wander. At least the rain-fruits are out, withered but tasty, and they make you think about other things.

Outfield: Double chance of getting lost and/or crashing your vehicle.
Encounter: Ranged attacks at -4. Those in the rain are Slowed.

Forage: Trees bear withered fruits, which fill your belly and fill your mind with fog. Eating them deals 1 Int damage.

Unmaking Rain: Proper rain, this. Sheeting down with a wild wind that tears at clothes and hair and rips the seams and unties the bindings and shivers the nails out of the shingles. Get caught out in this and you'll get home naked, your clothes in rags.

Outfield: Half overland speed. Exposed equipment gains 1 Notch.

Tired Warning: The sort of sustained drizzle that doesn't get you wet but somehow soaks through your clothes. The grey sky overhead flickers with cloud lightning, the low rumbling warning of what's to come.

Encounter: All creatures are Slowed.
Forage: Tubers and ground fruit swell from the soil, which fill you up yet leave you hollow. Eating them deals 1 Wis damage.

The Soft: The clouds are soft and inviting. Childhood home. A parent's arms. Skin like crepe paper. Older better times. Crinkling fingers. Times before. No worries at all. You wobble. Bones like cartilage. A soft fall. So much to be done. What were you doing? Oh yes, that.

Outfield: Take 1 Dexterity damage per Watch as your body becomes unmoored from your mind. Eventually your body moves on its own, your skin feels soft and crinkles like paper, your joints bend strangely around your rubbery bones. You will spend the Autumn tending the plants in calm harmony, until your body softly shuffs to the floor, a bag of loam. Goblins instead merge onto the side of a tree, and tend the area with tentacle-vines with goblin minds.

Winter has snowfall broken up by Mushroom Slush or Clear days.
It's very possible to get caught in an interminable Blizzard at the bottom of the table though.

Winter

Special: Snow builds up over time, so several types of weather only affect you if the previous weather was marked as Snow.
You also need Cold Weather Gear, which counts as an Oversized item and can be broken like a splintered shield to cancel damage from one attack. If you don't have it, take the Frostbite effect.

Clear: Bright and cold, the air cool in your lungs without stealing your breath. Clean and fresh and sparkling, you can see for miles.

Outfield: Travel +1 Hex and remove any Exhaustion

Snowfall: Long nights leading to little days of calm white snowdrifts. By the time you leave your house it's starting to get dark, snowflakes following behind to fill your footsteps.

Snow.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Mushroom Slush: Sleet that melts the snow to black ice and cakes you with a thin layer of slush, not soaking in so much as piling on, making you feel shivery and clammy at once. Worse, the fungus. A hardy strain of swift-growing mycelium lives under the warm snowy blanket. Exposed by the sleet, it will try to evade the slush by climbing the closest tall warm thing and making a home there, filling pockets and bags with uninvited slime.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow. Gain an Oversized item called "Slush Fungus" - getting rid of it requires a wash in warm water or chucking affected gear out into Snow to kill the slime.

Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Blizzard: Complete whiteout. A death sentence to travel through.
Snow.
Outfield: Gain 2 Exhaustion if you're not resting in Comfortable conditions. Food cannot heal you or remove Exhaustion during the Blizzard.

Encounter: Slowed. Ranged attacks at -8.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage and Save vs Doom or freeze to death.

Thundersnow: Hail and snow, flickering with flashbulb lightning. The dense white blanket surrounds you and gently softens the faint sounds of thunder.

Snow.
Outfield: Gain 1 Exhaustion if the last weather was Snow.
Encounter: Hitting metal on metal causes a lightning strike! Victim(s) must Save vs Blast or be blasted back and take 1d6 lightning damage.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Mirror-Vine Sunshine: The winter snow tamps down the growth waves and the warnings, allowing the most tenacious mutant plants to shoot up over the winter. Foremost of these are the Mirror Vines which emerge from the snow covered in their searingly bright silver-leaved new growth, reflecting extra light onto their leaves while they've got the chance.

Outfield: Double chance of getting lost/crashing in daylight.

Encounter: Increase fumble range by +2.
Frostbite: Take 1 Dex damage.

Mechanics

How to use:
At noon and midnight, roll 1d6 and move the weather in that direction. If it would go backwards, go forwards instead.
If you're at the edge, stop if you hit an X. Otherwise reverse course.

Simple right?

If you've got a Ranger equivalent, let them roll weather in advance so they can be all "hmm the rain will turn to fog by midday". In my game this can be a group Bushcraft roll.

The main penalty for walking around in the nasty weather is Exhaustion.
Each point of Exhaustion gives you -1 AC and +1 Encumbrance, but you can get rid of it all by having a break with food. An army marches on its stomach after all!

Sometimes the weather rots your gear, giving a Notch.
A Notch decreases a weapon's damage die, or reduces AC by 1. This generally only affects armour when hiking around because I assume weapons are sheathed.
Notching other gear is on a case by case basis but I assume that most stuff is in a bag if you're not using it.

Weather effects are on this spreadsheet too -
Post-Apoc Weather

Daylight:

One last thing - daylight is based on season, which is another reason why winter travel is grueling.

A day is 6 Watches long, with each Watch being 4 hours.
In Spring and Autumn there are 3 Watches of Day, 3 of Night.
In Summer there are 4 Watches of Day, 2 of Night.

In Winter there are only 2 Watches of Day, 4 of Night.

I absolutely cannot be bothered to make it more granular.

At night you'll want torches or something because you can't see very far and could get lost or crash your wagon.
For more, see -
Hexcrawl Rules

And a minor aside to that one last thing -
Initiative is side-by-side: At the start of each round, both sides roll initiative, highest goes first. Reroll each round.
If the PCs have enough light they win ties.
If they have not enough light they lose ties.
If they have no light they always lose.

So they'll always win ties in the day, but at night it's down to torchlight.

Weather-Based Encounters

And of course a last important thing - Encounters!

Each weather type has its own kind of monster that only shows up when it rains or whatever, hopefully setting up some foreshadowing from a wizened old crone saying "watch out when the summer storms sheet down, my boy, or the clicking eels will getcha..."

Example here:
Scoured Lands Overland Encounter Table

Roll 2d6 down and 1d6 across for a result.
You'll notice that it's the classic (?) array of Encounter - Lair - Spoor - etc.

Number 8 is a Weather Special which gives an Encounter with the relevant beastie, or more often some unique weather-based effect.
Number 5 is Weather Effect which is generic, but has a chance to change the weather! Woe betide the party who thought they could travel through the Warning and finds themselves caught in thorn weather.

What mysteries lie in the Drudge Wastes??

Discussion

The only change I've made to the gimmick since its inception is to make it player-facing and make the "forward" direction a bit more likely, to add a little more consistency and predictability for players looking at the weather sheet.

Mechanically I want weather to be a consideration but not onerous. Atmospheric in both senses of the word. Interesting but not a gotcha. But still, if you get caught out in it unprepared you'll have a bad time.

Same with predicting the weather - have it out on the table and let people plan for what's coming (although they will have to work out the colours, of course).

Originally I was all "he he he, they will have to learn that Doom Weather is guarded by a Warning" but honestly it's better to be player-facing when possible, especially since they can see the red next to the blue and go "hmm.. In wonder if red is bad".

Materially it also has to consider the fact that I'm always going to have PCs cycling in and out of the game each session, so it isn't going to be satisfying if you only missed a session and now you're taking 1d4 Drip damage per round because you missed your chance to buy an Umbrella from the Brollymen or whatever.

Plus I cycle to work every day and always have my wet weather gear on me just in case, so I imagine that someone whose only job is adventuring would at least have some sort of medieval festival poncho on them at all times.

Generally per season - 
Green is the Standard Weather, travelling weather but probably sucks shit.
Purple is Rain of various horrible sorts. Can you tell I'm a Brit?
Brown is the seasons's Storm, awful to be in but you can push through if you desperately need to.
Blue is an electrical Warning, heralding the arrival of the worst kind of weather. Tends to be good travel weather if you're willing to risk it.
Red is Thorn Weather. In the past this killed you instantly, today it merely takes your mind.
White is Clear. The only Good weather with a capital G. Straight up clear skies and far horizons.

One Last Thing

Don't forget to vote for Barkeep on the Borderlands!