Im so happy lately ..
why?
no idea ..my little brain chemistry must be perked exactly right or sumthin..
cheerful i be ..
and it has nothing to do with xmas ..
I hate christmas..i HATE in movies when my emotions are being obviously manipulated ..and its the same with xmas..
its so contrived.
but blah blah ..im happy .
( and yes i know my arm wattle is out of control..urghhh )
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.
..
Yeah im gonna be gone for awhile..
Im going on a cruise to the touristy Caribbean..
I so dont give a flying fuck about real life at the moment ..
I just want to escape..
*this is not a photo of anyone i've ever dated..thank you very much
Too many ex boyfriends have found me on facebook..
ex husbands i have no trouble with ..cause we have kids and blah blah ..have learned to co-exist.
but ex boyfriends ? arghh..
there's usually a reason you're an ex..
and it's because you are an asshole ..
or i found a new asshole..whatever
( I guess this makes me the asshole ..huh )
But them 'friending ' me has made me realize ..
1. I really needed glasses for a long long time .
2. I drank too much in the 90's
3. I should have used an assumed name.
sigh
I keep grabbing my boobs ..they are soo happy !
I went shopping yesterday and went to some regular old department store and went to the sales rack o' bras.
awesome awesome.
I found a bra for 7 bucks ..seven !
and it fits like a dream . and isnt all padded and miserable ..
( trust me ..i really dont need the pads )
its the little things yanno?
Its like being held up by gods own hands :)
* now if god would just cattle prod me into working out :(
I know a chick on Facebook...she's a tub of attitude ( in that way only really really stupid really really fat people can be )
and this is her husband ..
WHAT ?
this is not a fat bashing post..honest.
its a 'out of all the photos in the entire world you can post on facebook ( and this is one of the better ones she has posted of him )
why the hell do you even have to put his photo on fb' ..post
jesus this is just a whole lot of wrong
she really cant be any more adorable :)
When i was a little girl i loved greek and roman mythology ..i would read book after book after book..
remember Orpheus ?
if he had only just kept going ...if he hadn't have been so impatient !
this has become my go to feeling of loss ..
Im really terrible about ignoring serious problems..in hope that if i mulishly stay on course and dont look at it , the end result will be happiness
wishful much ?
I think part of my not calling my mother as often as i should is because talking to her makes it real ..
makes her illness real..
makes the inevitability of losing my mommy so so real .
because no matter how optimistic a person is ..ovarian cancer is a motherfucker..
A relentless motherfucker who is bigger and badder than you ever will be.
I cant bear my mother being lost to me forever and there being no way to ever get her back .
