There's One, Only!

Filthy Lie: Female Glenn

Harvey posed a real twisted question this week. How would Instapundit be different if Evil Glenn were a woman?

What got me was that I thought that Evil Glenn already had a female persona. Isn't he just Martha Stewart in drag? Just look at it. Both of them are always putting things in blenders. They're never seen together. And as far as I can tell, no one can prove that Martha Stewart has never killed a hobo.

It's iron-clad proof for me.

That would explain why Instapundit has always had somewhat of a feminine touch to me.

I hate Electricity

Some days you just can't win.

After spending nearly the whole day closed because that stupid wind-storm knocked out the power we were finally able to open around 4:00. Or so we thought. After waiting for a while, (and having time to type up why I liked electricity) I finally got a customer for the car wash.

I rang up her service, pulled her truck onto the track and started everything up. Except not everything worked. The pre-spray, high-pressure sprayer wasn't running. So I ran around and checked all the breakers. Nope still not on. I ran around and double-checked everything again. Still not on. Finally, I checked the computers. Yep. Even though they are not normally turned off, they were to protect them when the power came back on. Oh good, now everything should be fine.

Wrong.

When I was done pre-spraying the truck, I hit the button to call up a roller on the track. Nothing. This is normally done by a pneumatic actuator, so I figured that the air valve must have been left closed. Nope, that wasn't it. The air compressor wasn't running. I ran around again and checked all the breakers and switches, but I couldn't find anything that I saw as wrong. After making the decision that I couldn't get the compressor running, I called my Dad (who put most of the equipment in) to see if he had any ideas.

Somewhere around there, I had to refund the money to my customer and rinse her truck off and back her out. So the only sale of the day for the car wash was lost there.

But back to the compressor - My Dad suggested that I check the compressor's control unit. So I got out the multi-tester to check things out. Oops, the multi-tester needed new batteries, had to change them. Ok, so a poke here. A prod there, and to make a long story short, too late, it seems that the power outage may have damaged the coil to the compressor motor starter. So no compressor - no air. No air - no car washes.

There is an outside chance that everything will re-set overnight if the power is left disconnected. Right now that's all I can hope for.

I hate electricity.

I like Electricity!

Finally got the power back on! Yay!

Being without the internet all morning was a real drag, I can tell you.

But as Spacemonkey sang:

(Sung to the tune of Happy Birthday)

I like electricity.
I like electricity.
I like elec-tricity.
Unless it's running though me.

So even though my laptop will run off batteries, I now have my internet connection back. And that is much better.

To make a long story short, I guess that wind-storm that blew through Buffalo this morning was a real strong one. People were without power all over the area. In my part of town, it was just our street without electricity, well most electricity. Over at the station (across the driveway next door from my house) we still had one leg left of the three-phase current, so we could run a hot-plate to make coffee and listen to the radio. (Fortunately, most of the coffee was made before the power went off at around 6AM, so we just had to make the refills with the hot plate.)

Of course it took the power company untill 3:30 this afternoon to get things fixed. So most of the day was spent explaining to people why we couldn't pump gas, and figuring the change for cigarette purchases in our heads. There's a long list of cash purchases written down somewhere that will need to be put into the system at some point. Hope that's not my job...

The best part of the whole thing was that even after I was fully aware that there was no power, I still kept trying to turn lights on as I went through the house getting ready for work. I even picked up the remote for the TV and tried to turn it on. The garage door opener didn't seem to work either. (Not that I drove to work, but with the power down, and business slow, I made a quick trip to one of our suppliers.)

Hey, at least with the power back, when I finally do get out of work, I'll be able to log on and play some World Of Warcraft...

PGHA: A New Secretary General

Even though he doesn't seem to have any intention of stepping down from his position, someday Kofi Annan will be replaced as the Secretary General of the United Nations. The question then becomes; who will replace Annan at that post?

But Kofi Annan has so many different qualities, how could you replace him with just one person? The replacement chosen would have to be picked to follow in his footsteps in at least one of Annan's strengths.

For example, if you wished to emulate his ability to head a bureaucracy, incapable of actually accomplishing anything, you would appoint an inanimate carbon rod. A piece of equipment used to absorb neutrons and thereby inhibit nuclear reactions would have no trouble keeping the bureaucracy of the U.N. at a standstill.

If you were looking for someone to continue along Kofi Annan's lines of incessantly blocking anything that could possibly be beneficial to the United States, you would have to look long and hard to find a better candidate than Ms. Cindy Sheehan. Whether it's protesting America's involvement in Iraq, or accusing America of causing hurricanes that focus on poor people, Ms. Sheehan is your woman.

Of course, if you're seeking a replacement for the person responsible for U.N. troops who rape, loot, and make child pornography videos... well let's just say that that man is already applying for the job. And his initials are W. J. C.

If you want to find someone with the same amount of haughtiness and arrogance, you might have to go overseas. I'm pretty sure that Jacques Chirac stays at home in Paris as much as possible. You know, so as to not have to associate with undesirables.

Finally, you may want someone to continue the unabashed Anti-Semitism that runs throughout the U.N. For that position, you could choose Louis Farrakhan (also a contender for the Anti-American position), Al Sadr, or Ms. Sheehan again (the Jooos caused the war in Iraq, you know).

All in all, I'd opt for the inanimate carbon rod. At least with the U.N. doing nothing, they aren't causing any problems.

Serenity Review

Well, I just got back from the sneak preview of Serenity! Great movie. And I'm not just saying that so I get more free stuff (My email is vze3jcj8-at-verizon-dot-net.) It really was an enjoyable movie.

Now I'm not going to give any spoilers here. The movie doesn't officially open til Friday. So nothing on the plot, who lives or dies (if any), or who ends up with whom at the end.

But I will say that I liked the dialogue. The plot was pretty good. The movie started out a little confusing, but that was just a plot device, and not bad directing or writing. I liked the feel of the old-west set in space. The dialect of most of the characters gave it just enough of a different feel. But not so much that you couldn't understand them all the time. There was an unknown language that they spoke once in a while, but while it was unexplained, it did not take anything away from the movie.

I especially liked the space flight portions for finally getting one thing right that is usually done wrong. The space-ships didn't act like fighter planes. Just because one of them turned to the left didn't mean it moved left. In space, inertia is everything. (Of course, you could still hear the explosions, but without them, what would the sound-effect guys get to do?)

All in all, I'd say that it was a movie worth actually buying a ticket for. It may be one of the few movies this fall that is. You never know...

(P.S. They showed a preview for one movie before show time. DOOM. Looks pretty cool, but I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for a first person shooter movie. But it could be interesting.)

(P.P.S. I was a little dissapointed about one thing though. They said you couldn't bring camera phones, or recording devices into the theater. I left my phone in the car, but no one frisked me or anything. They didn't even ask if I had one or not! I was really looking foreward to the frisking... but on second thought, I bet it wouldn't have been that cute girl collecting the passes who'd have done it. So I guess I was better off the way things actually happened. Or didn't as the case was.)

Oooof.

I spent an hour at the Insurance office this afternoon getting the insurance required to close on buying my house. Boy was that tough. From what I understand, everything has to be just right or the Mortgage company could reject the whole thing.

At least the people at the Insurance office were real nice, so it wasn't totally unpleasant. Although having to pay for the flood insurance up front was a bit repulsive. I swear, it's like they think that I'm going to start a flood just so I can collect on the massively overpriced insurance.

At least tomorrow should be better. If I get to see Serenity!

Coming Soon (Friday) To A Theater Near You!

Joss Whedon, the Oscar® - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family –squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.

Go to the Serenity website right now and check out some of the previews!

If all goes well, I'll be seeing the sneak preview Tuesday night in Buffalo. I'll let everyone know how good it is on Wednesday! (Maybe even Tuesday night if I can...)

(Of course, I'm still a little unsure of rooting for a guy named Reynolds who's fighting against The Alliance. Definitely some divided loyalties there for me...)

At last.

The week is over, and I can finally take that helmet off my sidebar.

I just hope Harvey does a little better this week against Tammi.

(By the way Tammi, you got a little bonus with the bet. I put you at the top of my Blogroll. It'll probably stay there for a while. I don't change it too often.)

Filthy Lie: The final post.

It was an average morning, and I was checking my e-mail while eating a bowl of grape-nuts. And as I sat there and crunched, the messages downloaded and scrolled up my screen.

Suddenly, one of them caught my attention! It was from myself, but instead of a transmitted date, there was a bunch of question marks.

I scanned it for viruses and it came up clean. Intrigued, I opened it.

I couldn't believe what it was. It was Evil Glenn's very last post!

The explanation that I gave myself was that after Evil Glenn quit blogging forever, I had cut and pasted it to send to myself. That way, if google ever lost the cache of Instapundit, the final post wouldn't be lost forever.

And here it is.

IT IS OVER. I can no longer keep up with the pressure of running this blog. I shall now devote all of my time and energy to my true first love.

Ballet.

Oh, the music, the choreography, the tight pants, the beautiful sets, the tight pants... But I digress.

So this will be the last post here at Instapundit.com forever. Ah, there's the mail. And it looks like my leotards are finally here. So long.

Indeed.

And there you have it, now we know how Instapundit will end. Too bad the e-mail was a little garbled, and the date didn't come through. So we don't know when it'll happen... but it will happen.

Coolness!

I totally forgot in all the pain and anguish of trying to get flood insurance yesterday; but during my lunchtime browsing, I followed a link over at Conservative Grapevine to C-Log. Which lead me to the blogger signup for screening the upcoming movie Serenity.

And I'm lucky enough to live in one of the markets getting a sneak-preview! (And I guess there aren't that many bloggers in Buffalo, since they let me sign up.)

From what I understand, this movie is based on the Sci-Fi series Firefly. Now, I never actually watched any of it on TV. It was simply a matter of too many shows and not enough time to watch them all. There are a lot of good programs out there that I just never bothered to watch. I really only have enough time to invest in one or two programs at a time. I don't even watch Stargate: SG1 anymore...

All that said, I'm getting a good impression of the quirkyness of Serenity from the commercials and what people have told me about Firefly. Only one problem though. The write-ups of the movie say that it's the crew of the Serenity vs. The Alliance. So I'm not entirely sure who I should root for...

So if anyone else is going to be at the Buffalo screening, I'll be the one pulling up to the red carpet in the tan Jeep.

Arggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Why is getting Flood Insurance so *&%#$^@ hard when it's required by law. It's not like I can scam a flood either. And if you're in a flood zone or not should be a simple thing to figure out! And the premiums are so high, you know the government has to be involved. From what I see, if I don't get flooded for 10 or 15 years, I'm loosing money when I finally do.

And if it's this hard to apply and fill out the paperwork. How hard is it going to be if I need to make a claim?

PGHA: Gitmo Hunger Strike

I heard that some of the detainees in Gitmo have started to go on a hunger strike. The reporting in the MSM is that this is all in protest of prison conditions that don't conform to the Geneva Convention. Of course the fact that their actions didn't conform to the Geneva Convention don't factor into any of their thinking.

Well, I thought that the Media explanation of the hunger strike was a little bit too much in line with MSM thinking to be a coincidence, so I decided to dig a little deeper to find out the real reasons why they were refusing food. So I cashed in a few of my imaginary frequent flyer miles (I often scrunch myself into a small chair in a closet with a packet of peanuts, a swinging boot on a string kicking the back of the chair while a tape of random children screaming plays, with the vacuum running outside the door; to pretend that I'm flying all around the world.)

So, a short time later, I found myself outside the prison compound at Gitmo. At first, when they saw my computer bag, the guards were a little leery of letting me in. But then I explained that I was a blogger, and that I was there to prove the Media wrong. Immediately, two soldiers hoist me up on their shoulders and carried me into the compound. A small brass band started playing as I was carried down a red carpet to meet the commander of the base.

When I had explained what I was there to do, he was very helpful. At first he offered to give me a guided tour of the facility, but I wanted to make sure that there was no chance of anyone thinking that I was unduly influenced, so I declined. After being issued a small pointy stick for personal protection, they let me into the area where the hunger striking prisoners were living.

Several hours later, I had quite a few answers. Aside from the large component of terrorists who were protesting the fact that they had lost the headlines in the MSM, there were some surprising reasons behind the strikes.

One group of terrorists were protesting the Burger King Ice Cream Cones.

Another few terrorists were actually claiming that they had never really bought into the whole religious diet thing, and weren't going to eat another bite until they got some bacon and a couple of ham sandwiches.

There were also some others protesting the diet. They said that they were raised on traditional Mid-Eastern food, and they complained that the food fed to them at Gitmo didn't contain enough sand. (One of them was actually afraid that if he didn't feel the grinding sensation while he ate, that his teeth would grow untill they pierced his brain and killed him. When I pointed out that not eating wasn't going to make his teeth stop growing either, he quickly started scrabbling around on the floor looking for some dirt to eat.)

Two of the terrorists were protesting the cancelation of "Desperate Housewives." When I explained to them that it was merely the end of the season, and not the end of the series, they called off their strike.

And one rather confused terrorist was refusing food so that his rations could be donated to the relief efforts helping the people displaced by Hurricane Katrina. I patted him on the shoulder and told him to keep up the good work. I figured it may have been the only good thing he had done in his life...

What a drag it is getting old...

I was rooting around in my ear with a finger earlier.

Why?

Because it itched, that's why. And I discovered an ear hair.

Well, of course I couldn't leave well enough alone, and I had to pluck it out. Which was a lot harder than I would have suspected...

Ewwww.

But anyways, the worst part of the whole thing was when I had finally plucked it, it was gray.

I feel old.

On the bright side, according to a show I watched on Discovery last night, I have outlived Alexander the Great!

Yeah, by about 2300 years.

Actually, what I mean is that Alexander only lived to be a little more than 32. And I'll be 33 in a month.

Too bad you haven't accomplished quite as much as he did...

Shut up.

Update: Doh! I'm older than I should be, or not as old as I thought. I'll only be 32 in a month. Problem is, I feel 32 already... And I can't always remember what year it is... And I'm not so good at counting either.

Well, on the bright side, I've still got some time to try to conqure the known world.

Arrrrrrr.

It be the 19th of September me maties! And that be Talk Like a Pirate Day!

So hoist the mainsail and weigh anchor! And don't be forgetting to talk like a pirate!

Stupid Bills...

I don't feel that I should have to honor that bet since the Bills didn't play at all.

It was almost as bad as if the University of Buffalo Bulls had shown up in their place. (They have something like a 4 and 40 record over the last 4 seasons...)

Oh, well. Congratulations Tammi. Your team won. I'll get the logo up soon.

(But the AFC is still superior to the NFC)

Oh, she thinks so.

Tammi thinks that the Bucs logo would look nice on my site.

Well, sort of...

GO BILLS!!!!!!

A Bad Example Family bet...

Got a bet going with Bad Example Sis, Tammi of Tammi's World. She thinks her Bucs can beat my Bills.

I think she's wrong.

So the bet is the looser has to put the winner's team logo at the top of their sidebar for the week. Winner gets gloating rights for the week.

She is so going to loose!!!!!!!

More Pictures

A while back, right at the end of August actually, I posted a picture of what the creek behind my house looks like on a typical Summer day. It was right before the remains of Katrina were to pass right over where I live. And the intention was that I would put up a picture of the "flash flood" that we were warned about.

Well, here's the high water mark from what was Tropical Depression Katrina.

Not too bad. I may have shrunk the picture a little too small to see it well, but the water is running at just under four feet above normal.

But on Friday, we had a series of thunderstorms roll through. It also rained for about as long as it did when Katrina came by. But this time the ground wasn't quite as dry, so there was a little more run off.

Here's a zoomed in picture where you can see that the water is running at around seven feet above normal.

And here's a look downstream from the bridge. My house is off camera on the right just past the first bunch of trees.

But don't worry, I'm on the high side of the creek. So any flooding that would happen, (and this wasn't quite a flood) would occur on the other side.

And while I'm at it, there's a little picture of a visitor I had at The Station this morning in the extended entry...

The South is alive and well in Western New York.

Have a good Sunday! And GO BILLS!!!!!!!!

Filthy Lie: About Evil Glenn

Our great enemy, Evil Glenn, at his evil site, does reveal a little information about himself. But for some reason, it just doesn't look complete...

After a little bit of research, I found that there were quite a few things missing from Evil Glenn's About Me page. Aside from the obvious things about his penchant for dancing the Robot at Communist rallies while sipping puppy shakes and beating hoboes, there was a lot missing.

For example:

* Evil Glenn has been voted Homecoming Queen three times running for the University of Tennessee.

* In third grade, Evil Glenn coined the phrase "Do you want fries with that?"

* On alternating Thursdays at 9AM, Evil Glenn can always be found figure skating at the local hockey arena. Even when there's no ice.

* Evil Glenn once burped out the entire alphabet backwards, while standing on his head and playing the accordion with his feet. There were no survivors among the witnesses.

* Unlike most residents of Tennessee, who have none of their teeth left, Evil Glenn still has almost half.

* Although his title of Dark Lord of the Blogosphere is still unofficial, he plans on being elected President of the Blogosphere once he can figure out how the DUers keep rigging all the internet voting.

* Evil Glenn is a big fan of Michael Moore, and hopes to beat him over the head with a large pipe someday. Unless Mr. Moore stops looking like a hobo; in which case Evil Glenn will probably just shake his hand.

* Evil Glenn is afraid of the color mauve.

* Instapundit is actually a group blog. But only people who know the 16-digit randomly generated password for each hour can post.

* Evil Glenn once beat Aquaman in an arm-wrestling contest. Unfortunately, he lost the rematch since it was held at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

There are many more omissions, but nothing that I can print here. This is a family oriented blog after all.

Product Endorsement!

I just got back from Burger King. I like to eat there 'cause it's close to home.

Tonight however, instead of my usual Chicken Sandwich, I tried their new Angus 'Shroom Burger.

I admit that I had them make it without tomatoes, changing the intended recipe. But I don't like tomatoes. However, I reallllly like the 'Shroom Burger!!!!!

Oooh. Mozzarella. Mushrooms. Angus beef.

I'd better stop now, or I'll get hungry again.

(Too bad I'm not big enough a site to get free burgers for saying that...)

Happy Birthday Harv!

Sorry I didn't get you anything this year, but this is a family oriented site... and, well... your requested gift was rather specific.

Besides, even if I found any, do you think I'd really share?

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I'm just over 6 years behind you... enjoy your 30's while you can!)

PGHA: U.N. Hurricane Relief

Last week, I noted that the U.N. was sending help to the areas struck by Katrina. Apparently, I only saw the tip of the iceberg...

While researching the matter more thoroughly, I discovered that Kofi Annan had directed the U.N. to set up an "Oil for Flood" program. This new program is designed to allow the hurricane damaged Gulf Coast region sell oil in order to raise funds to help rebuild the area.

The U.N. program is to be headed up by three of Kofi's lesser known sons. Kublai Annan, Khan Annan, and Bob Annan. Their job is to direct the sales of oil through the "proper channels" in order to "maximize the benefits" to the area.

When New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin was questioned about the proposed program, he was elated. "We'll have the SuperDome rebuilt in no time. With an Olympic Swimming pool this time!" he promised. Adding "And I'm sure it'll raise everyone's spirits to see the new Mayor's Mansion we have planned."

French President Jaques Chirac also commented on the news. "We'll be happy to give the U.N. any kickbacks... I mean, assistance that they require to make sure things run smoothly."

It's Primary Elections Day in New York!

Of course your party has to have two candidates for the same office if you want to be able to vote. And since the Republican Party either has only one candidate, or more likely - none, for any of the available offices, I wasn't.

I did go in and look around anyways at what would have been my polling place. It was pretty empty, as there was only two districts voting today. And again, since I'm a registered Republican (I'm eeeeeeevil, Mwa ha ha ha ha!) I couldn't vote. But they did let me look at one of the paper ballots they were using.

It looked a lot like someone drew a picture of the regular voting booth but where the little flip lever would have been, there was a little circle that had to be filled in. Kind of like one of those bubble-sheets from school. Except what I understand is that they don't have a scanning machine like my high-school did. All those ballots will have to be counted by hand.

So, hopefully, they will have a candidate by the time the regular election rolls around...

Bad Joke of the Day

The Magician and the Parrot

A magician worked on a cruise ship. Since the audience was different each week, he did the same tricks over and over again. One problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once the parrot understood, she started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat! Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then the ship sank. After swimming for a few hours, the magician found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared malevolently at each other but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another, and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could restrain itself no longer: "OK," she said, "I give up. What'd you do with the ship?"

Undefeated!

The Bills put on a strong defensive display today and beat the Texans 22-7!

That makes them Undefeated for the regular season.

That's one down and 18 to go. (Undefeated all the way to the Super Bowl... I wish.)

(Good thing I picked the Buffalo Defense for my fantasy team.)

Filthy Lie: International Instapundit

Instapundit.

It's a word that strikes terror in the hearts of bloggers here in America. The Evil Dark Lord of the Blogosphere and his website are either the bane or unattainable goal of nearly everyone.

But the question today is, What does "Instapundit" mean in other languages?

Well, leaving out the plethora of languages in which Instapundit is now a synonym for "Puppyblender" we still get some rather interesting definitions....

In Chinese, it means "Avatar of the Glorious Leader"

In Spanish (Argentina dialect), it means "Procurer of Penguins"

In Finnish, it means "Where did I park the Volvo?"

In the language of the Innuit (Eskimos), it means "That yellow snow behind the igloo."

In Korean, it means... oh wait, there's that "Puppyblender" again. But in Korean, it's a compliment.

In French, it means "Glorious dancer of The Robot"

And in Arabic, it now means "The South end of a North bound camel."

Let me check the rest of them again.... yep, it pretty much means Puppyblender in every other language.

Woooooo Hoooooo!

Football starts tonight! For real!

Raiders vs. Patriots tonight at 9:00 on ABC.

PGHA: Blaming Katrina on Bush

<lefty rant>

I KNOW HOW TO BLAME HURRICANE KATRINA ON BUSH!!!!

It's so simple in it's complexity. Yet it's so complex that it's simple.

The Chaos Theory holds that something as small as a butterflies wings flapping can cause or prevent a terrible storm on the other side of the world. Basically, small changes at the beginning of a system can have massive effects at the end. So something tiny that Bush did can be considered directly resposible for Katrina.

Now I know that at this point you want to blame Bush for killing the butterfly that would have prevented Katrina from forming. Unfortunately, as hard as we try to, we can't actually find any evidence of Bush personally killing any butterflies.

But there is one difference between Bush and nearly every other previous President of the United States. Bush, for whatever reason, is the most athletically oriented President the country has seen in ages. Unlike more respected Presidents (Clinton, Carter) Bush spend as much of his free time as possible excersizing outdoors. One day he's jogging. The next day he's riding his bike.

The disruptions in the normal airflow of the world cannot be ignored! With all the eddies and swilrs from his constantly moving feet, it's a wonder that we haven't been innundated by more monster storms. In fact, I believe that we will be feeling the consequenses from his reckless fitness regimen for decades to come.

Based on these assumptions, we can now blame all future weather-related catastrophies on President Bush. If he'd only been a couch potato, none of these tragedies would have happened.
</lefty rant>

Sorry about all that, I think that the slight fever I've had most of the day kicked into overdrive for a while there. It looks like I may be just a few degrees away from being a knee-jerk liberal after all.

(This has been a Precision Guided Humor Assignment.)

An oldie but a goodie...

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry,
sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going
to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and
marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few
moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.
Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no
success.

Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy,
what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied... "The balcony."

I think I've posted this before...

But here is one of my favorite poems. It's by Jonny Hart, the creator of B.C.

Labor Day, Shmabor Day. What a stupid holiday. To hire some jerk, And send him away. To celebrate work, By playing all day.

Have fun everyone!

Bush root of looting!

Secret documents, recently discovered in the New Orleans branch headquarters of the FBI show that the aftermath looting of New Orleans was planned by President Bush, personally. The plans outlined how the Federal agents would instigate the looting, and then shake-down the looters when they tried to leave the area. Special attention was payed to the high end stores as the President has another condo that he needs to furnish. This explains the large numbers of electronics that were looted by residents with no hope of getting electrical service for the next couple of months.

Admitted one staffer, "The whole idea was to get the dumb poor people to do the work for us. Then we could take what we wanted from them and shoot anyone who complained."

Other reports show that just as Nero fiddled while Rome burned, the President strummed while New Orleans flooded. However, President Bush denied rumors that he was planning on leveling the entire city in order to build himself a new palace. "It's more likely to be an amusement park of some sort." he blurted out under intense questioning before his Press Secretary could take the microphone away.

(For those who don't get it, this is a satire. Let's help people out before we start trying to lay blame on anyone.)

Great... just great.

As if there wasn't enough raping and looting. Now the UN is going to "help" in New Orleans.

Rest In Peace

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court William Rehnquist died last night at his home.

Some are already noticing a bit of a slant in his obituaries...

(Hat tip to Glenn Reynolds on this one.)

Dinner reading.

Had Chinese takeout at work for dinner, so everyone knows what that means!

Heeeeeeeeeeres my fortune:

Ideas not coupled with action never become

bigger than the brain cells they occupied.

Lucky Numbers 7, 44, 25, 38, 6, 22

I'll play the numbers on tonight's Lotto. Just one thing. If I win using those numbers, does that mean that I have to split the prize with the restaurant?

What's causing the gas prices to go up.

To put it bluntly, YOU! That is, if you're one of the countless people that heard "$5.00 a gallon gas by the weekend!" and immediately ran out and filled up your car, truck, gas cans and whatever bottles you could find at the bargain price of $3.50 per gallon. That massive increase in demand at the same time as a decrease in supply just drove the prices through the roof.

What many people don't realize is that at the huge gasoline supplier level, buying gasoline is just like using e-bay. Basically, it's like there's a huge bucket of gasoline out there that all the big gas companies want to buy. When the supply get's low, there's not enough gas for everyone to get what they want, so the bidding war starts. No one want's to run out of gas, because you can't make any money when you don't have anything to sell.

And now, add to this the problem of people panicking and buying up all the gas they can get for themselves. Then the gas stations need more gas from their suppliers, who in turn need more gas from the refineries. More demand.

So gas prices will go up until one of a couple of things happen. Either people stop panic buying, and end the artificial demand increase allowing gas reserves to build back up to normal levels. Or the refineries come back online and everyone feels real stupid about buying up all the $3.50 gas they could get now that the price is down to $2.50 again.

It's all a matter of supply and demand.

(By the way, the only ones making any real money on gas are the state and local governments. The taxes on gas are many times what any person or corporation at any level of the gas supply chain make. With the possible exception of the very beginning of the whole process. But their profits are a matter of everyone trying to outbid each other to get the gas or oil. But again, that is perfectly normal supply and demand. Artificially induced shortages in supply are another matter, and not the underlying cause here.)

Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn's Blogad

Harvey's made a request that could actually help Glenn Reynolds! Since Glenn dropped off the top of the Ecosystem, he's been contemlpating using blogads to regain his linkage.

Harvey want's us to come up with an idea or two of what kind of blogad Evil Glenn might use.

The most effective one that I can come up with is this:

Click Here for FREE GAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

INSTAPUNDIT.COM

(This site contains more hot air than any other.)

Yeah, that'll probably get him some hits.

Satellite Imagery

Here's a link to a satellite photo that Harvey's blogless niece Sarah dug up for him.

NEW YORK (AP) - The Associated Press is offering Internet access to a satellite image that covers most of New Orleans, detailed enough that viewers can zoom in to check on particular neighborhoods and streets.

The image's resolution is high, at 2.4 meters per pixel. It is posted in a format that allows quick viewing of any area a user zooms in on. Users can quickly see what areas are under water and what structures are still standing.

The initial image was taken Wednesday and supplied by the company DigitalGlobe. AP will offer updated satellite images as they become available. The image is available at:

http://hosted.ap.org/specials/interactives/_national/neworleanssatellite/index.html

It helps give you an idea of the utter devastation that has occurred in New Orleans.