Porn Use and Erectile Dysfunction

(This post contains Adult Content of a Sexual Matter)

 For many healthy adolescent and adult males, an unexpected consequence of heavy porn use is sexual dysfunction. Most often, this manifests as erectile dysfunction, but porn-using males also sometimes struggle with delayed ejaculation and anorgasmia (the inability to reach orgasm). Depending on the research, anywhere from 18% to 68% of men who self-identify as heavy/compulsive/addicted users of porn struggle with some form of sexual dysfunction. Basically, research tells us that the more porn one uses, the more likely sexual dysfunction is.

Growing numbers of physically healthy male porn users, adolescents and adult men in their sexual prime, are struggling with various forms of sexual dysfunction especially if or when they attempt to be sexual with a real-world partner. Numerous studies back this up, including a large-scale (more than 2,000 participants) study published in 2020. This study found:

• 90% of men fast-forward to watch the most arousing pornographic scenes—i.e., the scenes most likely to be neurochemically rewarded with an intense dopamine and adrenaline rush.
• Heavy porn users take significantly longer than other men to reach orgasm with a real-world partner.
• 23% of the men under age 35 (i.e., in their sexual prime) reported some level of ED when having sex with a real-world partner.
• The amount of porn a man watches is linked to ED. More porn equals more ED.
• Heavy porn use is also linked to dissatisfaction with real-world sex.
• 20% of male porn users find that over time they need to watch more extreme porn to achieve their desired level of arousal.

Based on this and other studies, it appears that for many porn-using males, sexual dysfunction is neither physical in nature nor related to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm (i.e., the need for a sexual refractory period in which males reload, so to speak). Instead, problems with ED, DE, and anorgasmia are increasingly related to the fact that when a male spends 80, 90, or even 100% of his sexual energy viewing and masturbating to pornography—endless images of sexy, exciting, constantly changing partners and experiences—he is, over time, likely to find a lone real-world partner less stimulating than the endless variety and intensity he experiences online.

Stated another way, the infinite variety and ever-increasing intensity offered by online pornography creates, especially in heavy porn users, a dopamine/adrenaline baseline that a single real-world partner, no matter how attractive, simply cannot match. Even worse from a relationship standpoint, the constant fantasy/satisfaction cycle that occurs with heavy porn use leads to an emotional and psychological disconnection with even the most loving and valued of partners. In combination, these neurochemical and psychological issues seem to manifest physically in many males as sexual dysfunction with their in-the-flesh partners.

The most common signs of porn-induced male sexual dysfunction include:

• A man is able to achieve erections and orgasms with pornography, but he struggles with one or both when he’s with a real-world partner.
• A man is able to have sex and achieve orgasm with real-world partners, but reaching orgasm takes a long time and his partners complain that he seems disengaged.
• A man is able to maintain an erection with real-world partners, but he can only achieve orgasm by replaying porn clips in his mind.
• A man increasingly prefers pornography to real-world sex, finding it more intense and more engaging.

Thanks to heavy porn use, growing numbers of men are suffering from sexual dysfunction, be it ED, DE, or anorgasmia. Even worse, male sexual dysfunction affects not just men but their romantic partners. After all, if a guy can’t get it up, keep it up, and reach orgasm, then his partner’s sexual pleasure is also likely to be diminished.

This brings us to these points:

• Unrealistic Expectations: Porn creates distorted views of sex, leading to unrealistic standards for performance and appearance.
• Performance Anxiety: The pressure to meet exaggerated standards can cause anxiety, affecting the ability to enjoy sexual experiences.
• Insecurity: Men often feel inadequate when comparing themselves to porn actors, which can impact confidence, erectile function, and overall sexual satisfaction.
• Relationship Strain: These psychological effects can create disconnection and hinder emotional and physical intimacy in relationships.

(From www.medicalphysics.institute )

And now this brings us to the next part of this. The partner of the man who falls under any of these situations. Like any other addiction, this type not only effects the original person but the partner. It is a possibility that a woman can have a porn addiction. 

The emotional and mental toll that this can take on a woman, or a man partner if that's the case, is immense. Not only can it affect them physically, but it can also make a huge impact on them mentally. One of the biggest questions they have is why am I not good enough? Why doesn't he find me attractive? Does he even love me? When these questions start the next ones follow. Is he going to cheat on me if another person gives them that chemical hit if they come on to him and he falls for it? Ladies, or men, this is not on you. 

Problematic Porn Use

Being the partner of someone with PPU can be heartbreaking and or devastating. Nights of crying. Wondering if your good enough. Trying to understand the feeling of needing to compete with whats being viewed on the screen. I as a chubby 50 year old female, who has lost weight and is flabby in several areas, fully understands this feeling. With an ex husband and with a partner or two since who have desired to watch porn instead of have sex with me, i get it. I have nothing against porn watching once in a while. But if it takes the place or is instead of being sexually intimate with your person, there is where I have a problem.  

 Signs or symptoms of Problematic Pornography Use

A person might be having PPU if they persistently have an uncontrollable or intense urge to use pornography even when it impairs functioning or relationships.

PPU can affect each person differently. Some symptoms:   Source

• feelings of distress or guilt about pornography use
• a decrease in the quality of sexual intimacy with a partner
• reduced sexual drive when not using pornography
• reduced genital sensitivity
• delayed or reduced ability to orgasm
• pornography-induced erectile dysfunction
• delayed ejaculation
• brain fog
• feeling physically or mentally exhausted
• difficulty becoming motivated for everyday tasks
• new or worsening mental health problems, anxiety and/or depression
• problems with functioning or performance at work
• sexual violence toward other people, such as a partner

A person may also find that they focus on different stimuli when consuming pornography. For example, they may have multiple tabs open on the computer that they move between in one sitting. A person may also have an uncanny amount of external drives loaded with porn to keep the "tabs" under control on their computer or laptop. They may also have an abnormal amount of porn stored in places around their home and porn taken with previous partners that they have a problem deleting or getting rid of. 

These are just a few items to keep in mind if your sex life or you or your partners sex drive is gone or has faded away and there is porn useage by either

👄 

Lohikeitto (Finnish Salmon Soup)

This easy to make Finnish soup is delicious! 

I'm in a relationship with a man who is very proud of his Finnish culture. He has a few friends who have been making him Finnish food items, and I decided it was time to finally make my move and learn how to cook for my Finnish man. 

Lohikeitto is Finnish Salmon Soup. It really is easy to make, and the most time-consuming part is prep but even that doesn't take long. 

(unknown photo credit)

INGREDIENTS:

salt & pepper

3 tbsp butter

1 leek, thin sliced, white part only

1 med carrot, diced

5 cups seafood stock

1.5 pounds salmon, cut into cubes

3 potatoes

3/4 c heavy cream

3/4 c dill, chopped

1. Place a large pan or pot on the stove and set to medium heat/ Add the butter.

2. When butter has melted, add the leeks and cook until soft.

3. Add potatoes and carrots and mix well.

4. Add stock and bring to a boil on med heat.

5. Cook until veggies are soft and almost done. 

6. Add Salmon and cream. Stir well.

7. cover and cook for 5-8 min.

8. Season to taste with salt & pepper. Mix well.

9. Turn off heat and add Dill.

10. Serve when ready.

You can use light cream instead of heavy.

Try to keep the salmon pieces just bigger than the veggies.

Arbella Insurance and questionable practices

 *My opinion is my own and this post is my personal view and experience.

In August of 2023, I was T boned in Maine by an old lady. My car needed to have almost 5000 in repairs. Arbella covered the rental and the repairs and some of the medical bills I incurred due to the emergency room visit and after visits for Physical Therapy due to a broken arm and muscle problems.

Arbella told me my insurance would not go up since I was not at fault. This was the first lie they told me. My insurance went up 10. Not too big of a deal.

In January, I was rear ended, and that damage totaled my car. Arbella covered the inspection and rental until my car was deemed totaled. They sent my finance company a check for the balance of the car loan. I signed off on everything and the car is not in my name anymore. I went forward and purchased another car, a 2010, having Arbella insure it. I was informed that my insurance would not go up as I had purchased an older car than I had before. Again, mis truth. My insurance went up 10 again.

Now, I had called Arbella twice and twice told that my original car, a 2011, was going to be taken off my insurance and I would be all set. I would only need to pay on the one car. I DO NOT HAVE THE 2011 CAR. It was totaled and paid off. Its somewhere in a demolition yard. Today, I read my email and see that my insurance is up for cancellation and both cars are still on my policy. They say due to nonpayment.

Here's the thing. I paid my policy. The original amount I was told to by both agents I spoke to. Now I am being told to pay almost 3x what my policy payment should be to keep from being canceled. 

Apparently, this has happened to several others. Arbella is part of the AAA network of insurers. Trying to get ahold of someone to help has been a nightmare. 

Lets talk Renaissance Faires!

Photo Credit: www.visithoustontexas.com

 What is a Renaissance Faire you ask? It is an outdoor gathering that aims to recreate a historical like setting often around the time of the English Renaissance era for the amusement of its guests. Renaissance fairs generally include costumed entertainers or fair-goers, musical & theatrical acts, art & handicrafts for sale, and alot of festival food. Most are always open to new volunteers, actors and vendors. Just be cautious of which ones you choose to volunteer/work at if you do. There will be more information and a disclaimer at the end of the post. The titles of the Faire include a clickable link to follow. 

In New England there are several throughout the year. Here are a few: 

The New Hampshire Renaissance Faire

This Faire is located in Fremont, NH. They have been going since 2005 and they are run by Three Maples Renaissance Corp. a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation. That means they DONATE proceeds to charities. Their main charities are the New Hampshire Food Bank and the Rockingham County Meals on Wheels. How awesome is that? This past year they donated over $106,000 between the 2! Clicking on the link above will take you to their website and you can see the donation pictures, learn more about them, maybe volunteer, maybe sign up to be a vendor and sell your goods or maybe even perform! They are a wonderful group of people and they do good work. 

Vermont Renaissance Faire

Located in Stowe, Vermont they include Medieval-inspired artisans and craft vendors;  mead and cider makers from around Vermont; tasty food from local chefs; musicians, dancers, acrobats, historical demos, encampments, a joust, Vikings, fairies, knights, jesters, pirates and even a unicorn!

The Maine Renaissance Faire

2023 makes their 4th season! Located in Acton, Maine at the Acton Fairgrounds. Just as the other Faires they offer stalls of merchandise, plenty of food, music and entertainment as well as jousts! .

The Connecticut Renaissance Faire

This year marks 25 years of entertainment in New England located in Lebanon, Connecticut. They offer Fantasy weekends such as Time Travelers, Pirate & Viking, Wizard Weekend and more. Your invited to dress up and and have fun! They even have contests. 

King Richards Faire (link not provided)

They claim to be the largest, biggest and best. (On their website) Located in Carver, MA. 2023 makes the 42nd year, the longest running Renaissance Faire in New England. Tickets for this faire are a bit more expensive than the others. They are a for profit. 

What do you wear to attend? 

If you volunteer there you are to wear appropriate garb and not a store bought costume. They will help you figure it out if you need it. They are good people. 

If your attending wear appropriate weather clothing and foot wear. You can also wear period garments or attire. Elves, Vikings, period gowns, mystical beasts. You name it, you can wear it. 

Every one of the above are always looking for volunteers, staff, players and vendors. Just a bit of caution. There is one that will ask you to sign a disclosure, waiver or a non compete agreement. (The FTC is currently trying to ban non-compete clauses.) This means that if you volunteer for one faire you can not volunteer at another. Even if one is a for profit and one is for a non profit. They see it as a competition. Stupid? Yes it is, but it is happening currently at one faire in New England and they are loosing good people over it. This writer knows of at least 2 persons who are not returning to one faire for almost this reason. So choose your faire wisely and don't sign anything you cant or don't agree with.  

This post is my personal opinion and I was not paid or compensated in any way. 
 

A little vent

 Its been awhile, but here we go.....

Today I feel like a  hyprocrite. I have been telling my kids their whole lives that Family is Family. I talk with all my children as much as I can wether it be on messenger, text, or in person. However the last time I spoke with my own family, it has been years. Almost 30 with one. My Brother. We last spoke when I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest. We didnt even speak at our mothers or fathers funerals or after services. I am not in the upper tax bracket. I was not invited to either his 2nd or 3rd weddings. I have not been introduced to his wife. I dont get Christmas Cards, and he didnt attend my wedding. Alot has to do with how things were handled with my mom and dad before and after they passed. My other brother I have not spoken to in years, almost 6. Ive tried to call him but his number doesnt work and I dont travel there but maybe once every 2 years, He has my number. My sister overdosed and died several years ago. I predicted it would happen. She was screwed over after mom died and more after our father. Her kids I speak to once in awhile but not often. I miss them. There are Foster Siblings. I really have nothing to do with them. They will hate to read this but most of them are too self centered and egotistical to see they have wronged anyone. Money speaks to them. I talk to a few of their children and love a few of them like they are real family. I tried to get addresses from one of them to invite to my wedding but they blew me off. Had to work that weekend. They work 2 jobs but cant take one day off to travel 1.5 hours to attend my wedding? You have known me since I was a little child. I used to babysit your kids. Thanks. Did I mention I never got a card or a Congratulations on my wedding from any of them?  Cousins. I have them. None of them could attend my wedding either. From either side of the family. I grew up with you and we went to school together, parties together but ok. 

When I had the twins, my father gifted me 2 burial plots in a cemetery, just in case. But because he didnt sign a paper, they plots had to go to probate and all parties had to agree for me to get them. Did I? No. My infant brother is buried there and now the plots my father wanted me to have are in another persons ownership. Family. 

My fathers will was re written after my mom passed. Twice. It was changed to not include me, but include Foster Siblings. Funny because my parents, brother, sister and I had had a discussion where the will was only going to include the 4 legal children. I didnt want anything but a painting and a dresser. The dresser was thrown out with a ton of my parents other items, without them even asking if I wanted anything, before the Foster Siblings divided and gave everything among themselves and their kids. I do partially blame my fathers lawyer. I believe he was coerced into things because he was starting to get forgetful. What kind of lawyer allows that to him. Apparently a Christian Lawyer does. I got nothing. Not even a penny from the estate. But, Family. So my new theory now is FUCK THEM ALL. They dont deserve my love or my loyalty. My kids do. And hopefully I pass that along to them

Crock Pot Lasagna

 

Crock Pot Lasagna

I was not compensated for this post.

 For this lasagna I am using the store brand products because I'm on a budget and they work and taste just as good. It is a family favorite. 

You need:

A 4 Quart Crock Pot. (I use a 6 Quart and it turns out well.)

1 1/2 pounds of ground  beef

i box uncooked Lasagna Noodles

Lg jar of Spaghetti Sauce. I prefer one with meat.

1 1/2 c cottage cheese

2 c grated mozzarella cheese

3 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese

Brown the ground beef & drain

Pour enough spaghetti sauce in the bottom of the crockpot to just cover it.

Use the remainder of the spaghetti sauce and mix it with the ground beef.

Put 2-3 lasagna noodles in the pot over the sauce. Break them up to fit if you need to.

Cover noodles with about 1/3 of the meat sauce.

Spread about half of the cottage cheese in a thin layer over the mixture.

Sprinkle mozzarella cheese lightly over mixture.

Do another layer of noodles.

Add another layer of the meat mixture, the 2nd half of the cottage cheese and a layer of mozzarella. 

One more layer of noodles, the remailing meat mix, and mozzarella cheese.

Sprinkle a thin layer of Parmesan cheese on top

Cook on low heat for about 4 to 4 1/2 hours

Pictures of the creation process: