it's IN THE BUILDING

Are they quoting a horror movie or something here? the doors are.... BEHIND YOU! Thanks, Bruce.

sounds "fun"

I mean, really, being nice? sharing? safety?? that's not really fun. Thanks, James.

the "tailor shop" eh?

So I guess the tailor shop is a front for something. Brothel? Drugs? You decide. Thanks, Rick.

your "support"

I don't know to what this is referring, but "support" could be any number of things. Thanks, Haylee.

"ribs" eh?

Somebody named ribs is going to fall in this ditch tonight. Thanks, Ben.

kinda depends on the question

Uh, I don't know what the question is. "What do you want for dinner?" "How much does this cost?" In these cases, Jesus can be made into the answer, but it's complicated. Thanks, Drew.

that's what they're calling it now?

I don't know what "while printing" is a euphemism for, but I hope it's fun. Thanks, Eric.

immitation ham

mmmmm "ham." Thanks, Mike.

to put it gently

If you want to call hot pockets that. Thanks, Rochelle.

"handmade" something

Sardines are made by God, kids. Not hands. Thanks, Jason.

talking table!

Or, uh, something like a table? Thanks, Adam.

with fake experience

We would like some people with greatly exaggerated experience. Thanks, Christina.

so close to home

My student Savannah spotted this on our very own campus. I wonder if they welcomed her in particular?

that's what she said

I used my only good joke in the post title. Thanks Mike.

winkity wink

Christopher missed part of this sign, it reads
"No Shots" Available" per request of Bride and Groom

So I guess if they aren't looking, you can get one.

no "alcohol"

So no shirley temples, virgin diaquaris or sparkling ciders, got it? Thanks, Tom.

but will it scratch your back?

"Cactus buddy" is neither a cactus nor your friend... discuss. Thanks, Kathy.

mischief invited

I think what they are really testing here is how many people will use the escalator anyway, and fall into the SNAKE PIT at the bottom... Thanks, Neal.

I actually think this is right

See, because you can't charge somebody for using a credit card, but you could NOT charge them for NOT using it. It's a "discount!" Thanks, Tracy.

knitting kegger

I don't know what a glass of "wine" is, maybe sparkling grapejuice, maybe grain alcohol. Thanks, Alana.

your "ticket"

Kyle writes, "I think they're trying to say that they won't pay your airfare to get a questionable Botox injection south of the border."

looks like mudpie

Emily, Tara, and Zach posted this one. I guess it's not really aloe in there. Beer?

said that weird girl

This pizza is apparently okay. Thanks, Frank.

wink wink

I don't know what kind of "help" they are really looking for, but there you go. Thanks, Daniel.

also poop

I don't know if toilet paper is the more crude term for the roll of stuff near the toilet, but maybe. Thanks, Amy.

stale and medium sized

Ok, of all of these things, I bet the bread isn't literally hot still. Thanks, Jessica.

a few questions

I don't know in this context who is going to ask questions of whom. Or, I suppose, not. Thanks, Joe.

"watch" eh?

I guess they really want you to listen for them. Thanks, Paul in Saskatchewan.

not the real ones of course

See, if you shop here, they call you a "pro." haHA. Thanks, Andrew.

ok, with you it was just today

I guess at this Ace store there is no employee-customer relationship that really lasted 50 years. In their defense, who needs that much hardware. Thanks, smoochiefrog.

more of a broth

man, are you going to be surprised when you get homemade chicken noodle casserole. Thanks, Beth.

or AM I?

I don't know why this person is communicating with Clark via pink note posted on the street, but it might be a joke, so hard to say. Thanks, Rachel and boyfriend.

relatively fresh

Does kosherness make a meat or cheese less fresh? Like,what if the rabbi takes a while or something? Just wondering. Thanks, Jennie.

"no holding pups"

This isn't as good as the classic puppy-related post. But somebody like you must wash your hands. Thanks, Benjamin.

"mmm" indeed

Mike writes, "Despite a sign like this on each side of the display, everything inside this freezer case said sliders."

why indeed

Kathryn writes, "A customer returned an item last night and we forgot to make a note explaining why it was returned. So when my manager came in this morning and found it sitting behind the counter, he was clearly confused.

Ultimately though, he does have a point. Why is this large question mark in quotes here? I certainly don't have an answer for that."

double quotation marks

I guess this is in question and it's the title of the announcement. Thanks, Dan.

or just the one guy

I can't tell from reading this poster if it's just one man, or a few people, maybe some of them are women or genderqueer or something. Thanks, verizon user who didn't sign your name.

or someone like you

They are pretending to record you. and your voice. "scary"? Thanks, Benjamin.

as I'm about to say

I assume the first please here is a citation of the upcoming one. Thanks, Caroline.

we pretend to bake fresh

Jim sent me this one. I guess people pantomime baking bread if they still have leftovers from the previous day.

pretend to

I read something a while ago about how it's the EXPECTATION of locking doors that deters theft more than the locks themselves, so maybe this sign is onto something here. Thanks, Andy.

Sorry for the delayed posting today. Semester-end stress made me forget I have a blog to run.

not so much makeup and quicker with the towels?

This enterprising hotel maid may be asking for pretend tips that are made out of tanks. Or something. Thanks, Pat.

as the great poet said

I also like that the placement of this sign makes me think mike n ikes and frappuchinos have something to do with H1N1 shots. Thanks, Bata.

a "receipt" eh?

I don't know what constitutes a "receipt" but I don't think I got one. Thanks, Mindy.

oh "please"

Bret writes, "Why do I feel like I'm being intimidated into using the other door...?"

actually just old

Mike spotted this in Boston. I guess the items are either reproductions or not remotely significant.

as one person said

Julia writes, "This little poster, which dates from 1961 and advertises an appearance at Liverpool's Casbah Club, was handwritten by Neil Aspinall, the man who later became the Beatles road manager!" So I guess this early in the Beatles' career, they had to go with an anonymous endorsement (more beatles here and here).

your ETERNAL reward...

Mark quips, "I think the finder of this backpack will end up uttering the phrase 'No good deed goes unpunished.'"
(and yes, I did steal that headline from Disney's Aladdin. What of it?)

a little hot water may be available

Roy explains, "Ironically enough, the hot water was restored by the time the signs were posted, yet the signs were not removed for 2 days. I guess the misused quotation marks on the word "NO" actually made the sign more accurate!"