The Caring Catalyst

Who Cares - What Matters

HO’OPONOPONO

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This is a powerful scene from THE PITT staring Noah Wyle where his character, Dr Robby is talking with a son and a daughter who are dealing with their father’s quick decline and now his imminent death as he is about to be extubated.

I LOVE YOU

THANK YOU

I FORGIVE YOU

FORGIVE ME

Powerful words made more powerful at the time of a loved one’s death
a  n  d.   .   .
maybe even more powerful
when shared with a loved one
N O W
(just because)

HO’OPONOPONO
it’s more than just a Hawaiian Ritual.          .       .
(especially when you MAKE it so)

(FURTHER THOUGHTS AND READING ON THE POWER OF HO’OPONOPNO: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IF YOU SAY: “I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.” by Dr Roger E Prentice)

BRING ON THE BULL, TORO, TORO!

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During one tense bullfight, matador Alvaro Munero did the unthinkable. As the crowd cheered, wanting the next dramatic move, he abruptly stepped away from the bull, walked to the edge of the arena, and sat down. The roaring crowd fell into stunned silence.

In a post-interview that came from his heart, Alvaro shared this life-altering moment that led to his decision:
“In one moment I forgot the existence of the horns. All I could see was his eyes, standing there, not with rage but with something much deeper-innocence. He was not attacking me; he was just looking at me, pleading wordlessly for his life. That is when it came into my mind that this isn’t an animal I am fighting; this is a living thing that wanted to live as much as I did.”.

“His eyes had that purity that only animals possess, and in them, I saw that undeniable truth. I felt an overwhelming surge of guilt; it was as if I had become the most heartless creature alive. I couldn’t continue. I dropped my sword, left the arena, and made a promise to myself: I would no longer fight bulls; I would fight against a world which makes a game out of the torture of others for amusement.”

The story of Alvaro Munero is a rare, powerful look into the transformative force of compassion, even in the most unlikely of places. It is a reminder that one moment of connection can change a life, inspire a new purpose.

So here’s your Caring Catalyst moment.    .    .

TORO.   .   .TORO.      .     .
Bring on the Bull
to kill that in you
which won’t befriend beast
or Others.       .      .

JUST A MOMENT: GROUNDHOG DAY–AGAIN

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Groundhog Day was just a few days ago, and yet this morning, right now at this moment, or in just a moment, we decide if it’s going to be the same old same old?

Is it gonna be just another day, another block on our calendar with a number in it; and even if it’s blank, what we choose to fill up with or will we just wait aimlessly for it to be filled for us?

Maybe the whole point of the movie Groundhog Day and even in 2017 the musical is just this:  BE BETTER!

You want to change?  You want not just the same old same old to be the same old same old?  BE BETTER!   Just today; Just a little more than yesterday.          .          . or not.

Either way, we’ll all know in JUST A MOMENT.          .          .

Because after it’s all said and done, there’s still so much more to be said and done.  There’s absolutely no PERIOD at the end of your sentence.

So CARRY ON.          .          .CONTINUE ON.          .          .Create your own version of a BE BETTER Groundhog Day and rinse and repeat every day

PERFECTLY Imperfect

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Well. . .are you
P E R F E C T L Y
I M P E R F E C T
It’s amazing how we spend
a lifetime
trying to get
I T
r i g h t
only to find out
almost too late
(if at all)
that the only thing we are truly
PERFECT
is our
i m p e r f e c t e d n e s s
and the real
killer
is that knowing that
we never stop trying to
prove that
universal truth
WRONG
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
We Never do
We NEVER will. . .
So what’s the solution. . . ?
Not just to play
LET’S MAKE A DEAL
but actually win it
when we’re faced with the
TWO DOORS
of

DOOR NUMBER ONE:
BE PERFECT & BE ADMIRED

DOOR NUMBRER TWO:
BE REAL & BE LOVED

GET KINTSUGI’D
Welcome your
b r o k e n e ss
with all of it’s
scars and
c r a c k s
and watch the light pour in
or better still
enhance
CELEBRATE IT
by filling them in with
G O L D

Pay Attention, Class:
Your Brokenness
makes you
WHOLE. . .

The Puzzle of you
isn’t a single piece
but a certain number of
uneven broken pieces
coming together
as one single
v i e w

CONGRATULATIONS:
You are Perfectly Imperfect
IT’S YOUR SUPERPOWER
(embrace it)

Video from KarmaTube

FIDDLE FART AROUND

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I once told my wife I was going out to buy an envelope:

“Oh”,  she said, “well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go  online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet?”

And  so I pretended not to hear her. And went out to get an envelope because  I have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope.

I  meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire  engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I’ll ask a woman what  kind of dog that is. And, and I don’t know. The moral of the story is –  we’re here on Earth to fart around.

And, of course,  the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don’t  realise, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we  love to move around. And it’s like we’re not supposed to dance at all  anymore.

Let’s all get up and move around a bit right now… or at least dance.

Kurt Vonnegut

FIDDLE FARTING AROUND

Don’t fiddle fart around
they all said
grandparents, parents, teachers, friends
because it’ll all lead to NOTHING
they all said
Now your words won’t come out
and your thoughts won’t go away
as you lay in a hospice bed
where other Fiddle Farters have died
Your memories rattle much louder
than your wheezing-can’t-take-in-any-more-air-lungs
knowing that fiddle farting around
was much more than a NOTHING
and a flavorable dash more of SOMETHING
that’ll have you dying wishing for a lot more of EVERYTHING

JUST A MOMENT: A PEACE OF CAKE

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It’s kind of true, isn’t it?

Our life is overflowing with decisions.          .          .
decisions that we actually have to make
good or bad
for better for worse
for richer and poor
in sickness in and in health.          .          .
sounds like a vow, doesn’t it;
but it’s always much more than that.      .     .
These are decisions that in
just a moment
we make most of the time
u     n     c     o     n     s     c     i     o     u     s     l     y 
Not because of who we want to  be,
but because of actually who we are.         .       .
Who needs your forgiveness today?
Who needs your grace?
Who needs your sweet compassion and care and understanding?
Who needs you
regardless of conditions or limitations
or’s, until’s,  but’s, or most of all
EXCEPTS.           .          .
Everyone deserves an actual
PEACE of your cake
But the question always remains:
Will They actually receive it.            .          .           ?
Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst:
We literally know in
JUST A MOMENT
and even if we don’t recognize or notice it
we really do always know.      .     .     .

CALVIN AND HOBBES IN AN UNCOMICAL WAY

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S O M E T I M E S
when you see or hear something in a different way
YOU ACTUALLY
S   E   E
H        E       A        R
things in a different way.      .      .

In the Final Moments of His Life, Calvin Has One Last Talk with Hobbes
12/6/2019

“Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?”

In the darkness Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. God, he was so tired, and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the darkness, and soon vision followed. At the foot of his bed stood his wife. Calvin wet his dry lips and spoke hoarsely, “Did… did you…. find him?”

“Yes dear,” Susie said smiling sadly, “He was in the attic. “
Susie reached into her big purse and brought out a soft, old, orange tiger doll. Calvin could not help but laugh. It had been so long. Too long.

“l washed him for you,” Susie said, her voice cracking a little as she laid the stuffed tiger next to her husband.

“Thank you, Susie.” Calvin said. A few moments passed as Calvin just laid on his hospital bed, his head turned to the side, staring at the old toy with nostalgia.

“Dear,” Calvin said finally. “Would you mind leaving me alone with Hobbes for a while? I would like to catch up with him.”

“All right,” Susie said. “I’ll get something to eat in the cafeteria. I’ll be back soon.” Susie kissed her husband on the forehead and turned to leave. With sudden but gentle strength Calvin stopped her. Lovingly he pulled his wife in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. “l love you,” he said.

“And I love you,” said Susie. Susie turned and left. Calvin saw tears streaming from her face as she went out the door.

Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. “Hello Hobbes. It’s been a long time hasn’t it old pal?”

Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered. “It sure has, Calvin.” said Hobbes. “You… haven’t changed a bit.” Calvin smiled.

“You’ve changed a lot.” Hobbes said sadly.

Calvin laughed, “Really? I haven’t noticed at all.” There was a long pause. The sound of a clock ticking away the seconds rang throughout the sterile hospital room.

“So… you married Susie Derkins.” Hobbes said, finally smiling. “l knew you always liked her.”

“Shut up!” Calvin said, his smile bigger than ever.

“Tell me everything I missed. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to!” Hobbes said, excited.

And so Calvin told him everything. He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grand-kids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on. After he told Hobbes all this there was another pregnant pause. “You know… I visited you in the attic a bunch of times.” Calvin said.

“l know.”

“But I couldn’t see you. All I saw was a stuffed animal.” Calvin’s voice was breaking and tears of regret started welling up in his eyes.

“You grew up old buddy.” said Hobbes.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I broke my promise! I promised I wouldn’t grow up and that we’d be together forever!!” Calvin broke down and sobbed, hugging his best friend.

Hobbes stroked Calvin’s hair, or what little was left of it. “But you didn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“We were always together…. In our dreams.”

“We were?”

“We were.”

“Hobbes?”

“Yeah, old buddy?”

“I’m so glad I got to see you like this… one last time…”

“Me too, Calvin. Me too.”

“Sweetheart?” Susie voice came from outside the door.

“Yes dear?” Calvin replied.

“Can I come in?” Susie asked.

“Just a minute.” Calvin turned to face Hobbes one last time.

“Goodbye Hobbes. Thanks… for everything…”

‘No, thank you Calvin.” Hobbes said.

Calvin turned back to the door and said, “You can come in now.”

Susie came in and said, “Look who’s come to visit you.”

Calvin’s children and grandchildren followed Susie into the room. The youngest grandchild ran past the rest of them and hugged Calvin in a hard, excited hug. “Grandpa!!” screamed the child in delight.

“Francis!” cried Calvin’s daughter, “Be gentle with your grandfather.”

Calvin’s daughter turned to her dad. “I’m sorry, Daddy. Francis never seems to behave these days. He just runs around making a mess and coming up with strange stories.”

Calvin laughed and said, “Well now! That sound just like me when I was his age.”

Calvin and his family chatted some more until a nurse said, “Sorry, but visiting hours are almost up.”

Calvin’s beloved family said goodbye and promised to visit tomorrow. As they turned to leave Calvin said, “Francis. Come here for a second.”

Francis came over to his grandfather’s side, “What is it, Gramps?”

Calvin reached over to the stuffed tiger on his bedside and held him out shakily to his grandson, who looked exactly as he did so many years ago.

“This is Hobbes. He was my best friend when I was your age. I want you to have him.”

‘He’s just a stuffed tiger.” Francis said, eyebrows raised.

Calvin laughed, “Well, let me tell you a secret.”

Francis leaned closer to Calvin. Calvin whispered, “If you catch him in a tiger trap using a tuna sandwich as bait, he will turn into a real tiger.”

Francis gasped in delighted awe. Calvin continued, “Not only that he will be your best friend forever.”

“Wow! Thanks grandpa!” Francis said, hugging his grandpa tightly again.

“Francis! We need to go now!” Calvin’s daughter called.

“Okay!” Francis shouted back.

“Take good care of him.” Calvin said.

“l will.” Francis said before running off after the rest of the family.

Calvin laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. The time to go was close. He could feel it in his soul. Calvin tried to remember a quote he read in a book once. It said something about death being the next great adventure or something like that. His eyelids grew heavy and his breathing slowed. As he went deeper into his final sleep, he heard Hobbes, as if he was right next to him at his bedside. “I’ll take care of him, Calvin…”

Calvin took his first step toward one more adventure and breathed his last with a grin on his face.

Uhhhhhhhh.          .         .Yeah,
S O M E T I M E S
when you see or hear something in a different way
YOU ACTUALLY
S   E   E
H        E       A        R
things in a different way.      .      .
s            o            m            e            t            i            m            e                s

STILL RE-MEMBERING

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“Last time I was down South, I walked into this restaurant. This white waitress came up to me and said, ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said, ‘That’s all right, I don’t eat colored people.Bring me a whole fried chicken.’ About that time, these three cousins came in. You know the ones I mean, Ku, Klux and Klan. They said, ‘Boy, we’re givin’ you fair warnin. Anything you do to that chicken, we’re gonna do to you.’
“So I put down my knife and fork, picked up that chicken, and kissed it.” – Dick Gregory, comedian and activist (Oct. 12, 1932 – Aug. 19, 2017)

Sometimes I think from all the Distances we’ve come.       .      .
we haven’t come very far at all.            .          .
Seriously, have we even budged, even a little.            .           .
And while you’re questioning
WONDER:

SOMETIMES
You have to do more than just BRING THE COLOR

You have to 
 BE THE COLOR.        .         .
AND WONDER SOME MORE:
AND THEN DECIDE:

JUST A MOMENT: THE SCENE OF THE UNSEEN

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Oh to see the
S       C       E       N       E
in the
U     N     S     E     E     N.              .              .

In Just A Moment
makes
ALL OF THE DIFFERENCE
Go ahead.     .     .
L          O         O          K

L             O            O          K
a    g    a    i    n
and see.         .         .

anonymous person with binoculars looking through stacked books

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

HIGHER THAN A MOUNTAIN TOP

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HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR DAY
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . .
We don’t quite say that the way that we do
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY NEW YEAR
HAPPY HANUKKAH
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
HAPPY EASTER
Wait.     .     .What.      .     .Huh?

Like most Monday morning blogs this is not a video that I researched or that I sought out, it is one that found me and now haunts me. As I listen to this video from Martin Luther King Jr. about the Good Samaritan, which was a part of his I HAVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP speech, I quickly realized that not only am I not the Good Samaritan, I am not even close to being the not-so-Good-Samaritan.

Quick: if you could describe your life to this point in just one single word what would it be?  Seriously, mine might be ENCHANTED. I live a ENCHANTED LIFE; I really do. I am a severely white privileged male that has never really felt what racism is all about; or poverty; or disadvantage; or choice of sexual orientation, or. . . . Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked hard for everything that I’ve gotten and I’ve tried to do right by another person, not just by treating them the way that I want to be treated but really trying to go the extra step past the Mountain Top and finding out how they would like to be treated and then actually treating them that way. I have never joined a demonstration. I have never participated in a March. I have never protested. I would like to believe that part of me being a Caring Catalyst and trying to be a better One each day, is trying to convince myself that person by person the world itself changes and that I have an active part in participating in that every single encounter that I have with every single person.

No, I’m not a Good Samaritan. I’m the guy that is too busy to stop because I have business to do; important business, maybe even business that affects peoples lives. No, I’m not a Good Samaritan not because I don’t stop and help, or because I’m sometimes afraid I may to become that victim I too, may be misunderstood or harshly judged.  No, but possibly because I have a great way of RATIONALIZING everything away so that I can feel just a little bit better about myself (one-not-that-all-important-act-but-makes-me-look-good-without-trying-all-that-hard. . . .

I don’t do good with vacations or paid time off, so every year I rarely take a week or two weeks off at a time. I’m better at taking days off especially Friday and Mondays. I, on purpose, take my birthday off. I take my wife, Erin’s, Birthday off. I take off good Friday every year usually the Monday after Easter and yes now Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I usually take these days off to spend them with people that I love and people who love me. In particular, I take off Martin Luther King Jr. Day, just like Good Friday, to reflect, to ask myself, ‘why am I not the not-so-Good Samaritan; why am I the one that would go to the other side of the road; why am I the one, that being as privileged as I am, would make myself feel better by literally, just writing a check and mailing it in? Tough questions, but not always elicit the most honest answers. Somehow, just asking the questions helps, eases me as it inspires, challenges me not by attempting to answering the questions with my words or my mouth, but with my actions. Hoping, just hoping, that what I might do for ANOTHER, personally, intentionally, and yes maybe even, intimately, will not only be world changing for them but also mean the universe to me, too.

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY
.    .    .today.    .    .tomorrow.    .    .for-an-ever
let’s not pass each other by
but attend to each’s wounds
and heal as we are healed
no matter what
no matter who
no matter when
no matter how
NOW
to get one step higher than
THE MOUNTAIN TOP

Professional Speaker, Author, Assurance Man