Finding Calm In The Chaos

 

It's been some crazy weeks here in Southern California.

with wildfires  ravaging parts of Los Angeles.

The  Santa Ana winds exploding the fires and everything in their  paths.

We were never in danger form the LA fires

but we do live in an area that has fires breaking out often.

Our backyard view right now  has the burn scars from fires we had in September.

The Santa Ana winds we had for over a week were a constant  mental reminder

what could happen here also.

We've lived out here 30 years

and

 it hasn't been until this January

that I could ever see us having the possibility of real problems.

But I'm sure most of us in Southern California

are seeing possibilities differently these days.

I  have never experienced winds like January 7th.

In our neighborhood huge pine trees were snapped in half.

Our house not only shook from the winds

but even our massive bed on the second floor was moved.

The Santa Ana winds sounded like an ongoing explosion 

when they came in this time.

Usually here the winds sound like an incoming train

that you can here seconds before even any leaves start to move.

I woke up wondering was it a plane too low overhead

but the noise didn't seem to move away.

in a few seconds

I realized it was crazy winds.

It was a few hours later

when I had the  local news on

 they began  covering a small brush fire

in the hills of LA.

No one had any idea how bad things would get for LA.

And the winds kept howling  outside for us.

Winds so viscous they made it hard to sleep that night.

I finally fell asleep at midnight

by then much of Malibu was burning.

Their  winds were blowing over 85 miles per hour.

We just live 75 miles south of Malibu.

I figured I should try to get sleep if I could

because who knew what we might have to deal with  next day.

The next day the images  of LA neighborhoods were unbelievable.

But the winds were lessening

and 

more help was being sent to LA.

the worst  of the fires themselves seemed to be over.

But here in Orange County

the Santa Ana winds continued to burst crazy gusts

for the next few days.

A continual reminder what actually 

'could happen'

It was the odd limbo

where my heart broke foe others in LA

while I still had an unease about our own area.

I felt like I had to stay home

to keep an eye on things.

I obviously had to think of what I would take if I ever had to leave.

Talk about a quick way to check what is really important in life.

I made my lists

that now hang on my studio blackboard.

It contains a combination of 

the necessary and the  sentimental.

Making my own list broke my heart even more

for so many in LA who lost everything.

I even started to feel guilty of how I still had everything.

I soon pushed that out to my mind

realizing each day is a gift

and

 adding to ripples of anxiety 

serves no one.

Instead I felt an overwhelming need to get my house

actually, oddly

closets and bedroom in order.

Having absolutely no control on wildfires

other than being as prepared as possible

I decides to find calm in making my spaces as orderly 

and beautiful

as possible.

Taking the time to  truly appreciating what I did have

while I actually had it.

Our downstairs more public spaces are always in perfect order.

But I must admit there were  many, many days 

my bed wasn't made

and

 clothes covered my floor

not because I was ever lazy

but rather 

I always felt I had too much to do

and 

my time was better spent elsewhere.

But the winds and the fires had me so rattled

with feeling of no control and worry

I actually slowed down.

It's a funny thing how thinking through 

the possibility of loosing everything

makes you reconsider even  your time usage.

It actually reminded me just how much 

I love my home.

I love my spaces

and 

I love my closets of my beloved clothes.

It reminded me I don't need to rush 

to accomplish more

to get more.

What I really needed to do 

was actually 

slow down.

~

Do less and appreciate more.

~

To intentionally appreciate

and 

care for what I do have.

~

Slowing down 

intentionally caring and appreciating

my spaces and belongings

has brought me a calm

I haven't felt in a while.

Life is fleeting

and 

another day is never promised.

I think the chaos of the fires and all of the other implications

of the last week here in the US

has made me turn inward

in an attempt to find 

calm and peace

inside

where it doesn't exist outside for me right now.

Now more than ever it is time for me to do

Gratitude lists and Glimmers.

To be intentional where I put 

my time

my love 

and 

my intentions.

~

To create beauty 

and 

meaningful work.

~

To find

Calm in the Chaos

so my life can have 

a ripple effect of love and joy.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

Crown Yourself This New Year

I will be taking the time to

Crown Myself 

this New Year.

I have stopped playing in the murky waters

of New Year's Resolutions years ago.

Instead

I am going to make

 beautiful rituals of

taking the time to 

Crown Myself

~ Reflect on all of the things I've done well this past year (and in life)

~ Savor again all of the magic moments that made my heart soar.

~ Make a list of my favorite Glimmers

~Reflect on where  and when I stood tall when I wanted to crumble

I choose to make

Crowning Myself

a beautiful ritual

 because at this age I know

~ I am responsible for my own happiness

~ No one is coming to save me

~ True personal validation is always an inside job

~We can only pour from a full cup

Crowning Yourself 

really can happen in so many ways

both literally  (everyone stands a little taller with a Crown)

and 

figuratively.

This New Year I have planned and taken time to sit quietly in a beautiful space

to reflect.

I will have a candles and flowers  to remind myself

that my relationship with myself

is of utmost importance.

After my scene is set

I will put on one of my Crowns

and

 sit quietly as I 

make notes of all the  good that comes up.

I will write those happy thoughts in my journal

or

better yet as a  beautiful love letter to myself.

I will open up my photos for the year

as helpful reminders of the splendid moments I experienced.

I will review my gratitude journal for the year

to be reminded of the small things

that were actually the big things in my heart.

I will review my business calendar to remember

what I have accomplished this year.

I will write down my favorite moments

taking the time to 

Savor and Enjoy

them all once again.

It is only then

after I bask in all the good and beauty and love

 I accomplished and experienced this last year

I will gently

and

 with much love and compassion

ask myself

~ Where would I like to grow.

~ What  behaviors would I like to change

so that I can experience life at a higher energy level.

~ Where does the majority of my joy come from?

~ What can I do to have a better relationship with myself?

~ What boundaries do I need to give myself to maximize my self love?

~ What can I do to support my own goals? 

~ What soothing rituals can I put into my daily life

to help me stay focused on my goals?

I have been looking for ways to do better

be more 

be successful

manage my emotions

since high school

as a way to manage my ongoing depression and anxiety.

I have lived in the self help sections of book stores

always on the quest to discover some nirvana where I feel

I've got it all figured out  and in place.

I know after all these years there is really no place to arrive

where everything stays in place

because life itself is continual motion.

But I do know for a fact we are better people 

when we can take the time to 

love and respect our own selves.

How much conflict with others is really our own internal conflict projected.

That is exactly why I am a firm believer in taking the time to

Crown Ourselves.

If you've been reading my blog for the lsat decade

you have read about it here before.

As much as I believe in 

Crowning Ourselves

even I have lost my way with it along my recent life journey.

That being said

I am so much happier

have so much more to give others

when I can remember

to love myself

take care of myself

make myself a priority

and 

live in a manner that I respect myself.

That is what

Crowning Myself 

truly means to me.

May we all remember to take the time

To Crown Ourselves

this New Year

As a visual reminder 

I will be adding  some sweet new

Crown Yourself Bracelets

to my shop!

Made out of my favorite Howlite gemstone beads

which is believed by many to 

to have calming and stress relieving properties

glass pearls

and a removable silver Crown Charm!

I am so excited about remembering to 

Crown Ourselves

I will be introducing these bracelet at

$95 

instead of the regular $125.

As always each piece comes beautifully gift wrapped 

with a complimentary hand made pearl charm.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

As you Style Your Life

Holiday Gift Wrap Ideas

I thought I would share some of my favorite

Gift Wrapping Ideas

Right now I am loving and using the 

gorgeous inside and out

lidded boxes

Target's  Sugar Paper HERE

I simply wrapped the box up with 

felt cut into ribbons

which is another of my favorite wrapping tips!

I add a tag and slip in some greenery!

Wrapping with

 brown kraft paper

is a perfect way to 

show off some 

vintage cotton ribbon.

I added more

 greenery

plus some vintage mistletoe.

I did one of my favorite wrappings last year.

For Christmas Jeff and I gave

roundtrip airline tickets and hotel stays 

to each of the kids and their spouses

so that the whole family could attend a family wedding in Austin.

So to package the 'unwrappable' gifts

we printed off all of the tickets, printed up info on the wonderful hotel

and

 presented the gifts in

 leather portfolios 

from Anthropologie.

I tied it up with

 vintage string 

and 

added 2  travel cocktail kits

a charm

patches

and 

finished with 

greenery.

For

 gift cards

 I like to put them with 

a small gift to open

to make the presentation more fun.

For a wedding I bought sweet salt and pepper shakers

then put the gift card in as well.

Ornaments

 always make for fun package garnish

especially  when added to greenery from the garden.

I always coordinate my wrapping with 

my holiday decor.

so everything coordinates under the tree.

This was from a year I decorated with silver, greys and pinecones.

Here's another example of finishing off a gift with

an ornament.

I love to finish off  so many of my presents

with a little charm as well!

I hope these

Holiday Gift Wrap Ideas

spark some fun creativity of your own!

Wishing you and yours

a wonderful holiday season!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

Christmas Cemetery Visit

 Jeff and I once again visited the cemetery 

to decorate the gravesite of

my Mom, Dad and sister.

As the years move on the cemetery has become to feel more like a place of comfort.

Decorating feels like a sweet way to remember and honor their lives.

Christmas time at the cemetery feels like a community.

Grief and loss can feel lonely sometimes

Being around other people

 celebrating the lives of those they've lost and loved

can be a comfort.

This year the the decorating rules were abruptly changed

so there was an opportunity to talk to other people

who were also shocked at the change as they were attempting

to decorate their family graves.

We met the most interesting woman and got to know all about her family 

and share some stone cleaning tips.

My take away from our visit this year

just how much we all have in common

and

you can find Silver Linings every where.

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life

Mental Health Tips to Thrive During The Holidays

~~~~~  I have been writing about mental health during the holidays for years now.

Remembering these tips

has gotten me through challenging years

and

helped me stay focused and present 

during the good years

so that I don't miss any of the small magical moments

the holidays can bring!

I decided to share my tips again

in case they can help anyone else

to savor and enjoy their own magical moments! ~~~~~

*******

As someone who has spent so much time

struggling with anxiety and depression

I have learned some tips

over the years

to not only cope  during the holidays

but to actually 

Thrive During the Holidays.

I am back once again this year with my

Tips for Self Care During the Holidays  

I have been doing various versions of these

for several years now

Starting off the holidays with

parameters and intentions 

have been so very beneficial to me.

I thought I'd share my favorite here

in case anybody else can use a bit of encouragement

at this time of year.

So many years as an adult

I have been navigating

 the search for 

the joys of Christmas

 amidst loss

since my sister died December 12th 36 years ago.

That year I don't think we even had Christmas

but I remember thinking that I would never 

miss the joy of Christmas again

as long as I was able.

I haven't.

So I know all too well how many times

the holidays can  shine such a light 

on just where we are at the time.

What losses we've had

changes that are in process.

In the ten years I've been doing this blog

I have endured many.

But I have learned to acknowledge them

while still making room for the joys 

that have always still come with the season.

I have made peace with giving room

to both joy and grief

and 

the more I do

the joy seems to be able to grow.

Maybe it is with a heart honed by grief and loss

that we are more able to 

see and experience 

the moments of true joy and bliss during the holidays!

So here are my top 

Holiday Heart Tips

to 

Thrive During the Holidays

Sentimental Holiday Styling

I enjoy 

styling our little house for the seasons

as much as I enjoy

styling a fab outfit.

I was so happy with how my November decorating came out this year.

The last few years I have tried to come up with

  November styling concepts

that 

embrace Thanksgiving

while still 

leaving me prepped for Christmas

I have come to really love having my tree up 

with only the white lights 

the weeks preceding Thanksgiving.

I still kept my heirloom pumpkins from my fall decor

and 

added in my vintage wooden star.

This year my fabulous sequin pillows were the inspiration

and 

jumping off point for my 

Thanksgiving Holiday Decor.

This  kept the base color neutral

with accents of mixed metals and textures.

I carried the mixed metal concept throughout my styling.

Brass, copper and silver played beautifully together.

The crocheted runner added in texture and whimsy.

The mixed metal concept transitioned beautifully to our

Thanksgiving Tablescape!

Not only did I mix metals, but also

primitive and lux.

But my favorite part of this table

bringing in so many pieces that hold sentiment to my heart!

This year I wanted our rustic farm table 

that Jeff made years ago

to be the star

so I just did a center runner , leaving much of the wooden table exposed.

for a runner I actually used craft paper

for a bit of whimsy and fun.

My plan was to bring out crayons for everyone to make their own bit of artwork.

I was happy to not only incorporate my Mother's silver

but was able to share the memory with my sweet grand daughter

who helped me set the table.

Life moments to be sure.

The center of tapers were made by Jeff's Dad 

out of New Hampshire birch branches.

The pewter candlesticks are a gift from his mother.

Rustic linen napkins were juxtaposed with crystal napkin holders.

Thanksgiving is always a chance to bring out all of my collected crystal!

I was so happy with my innovative florals!

I used brass swan planters, from Ellis's wedding

filling them with stalks of kale.

They kale wonderfully with the other white flowers and greenery.

I also brought out all of my Thanksgiving salt shakers

so everybody had there own.

Lennon got to pick who got which set!

I also set up our brand new bar that Jeff made this spring

for drinks and pre dinner appetizers alfresco.

My favorite flex from our little house

turning the living room into a tented sleepover room 

with our sweet grands!

I love how with a bit of creativity and love

our little house continues to meet all the changing needs

our family have had over the last 30 years.

I wore one of my favorite Crowns for Thanksgiving.

It was a gentle reminder to myself

of the tremendous Gratitude

I have for the opportunity to not only host the day

but all wonderful family that make up my life.

Here's to making beautiful memories this season!

As always my friends

I wish you love and joy

as you style your life