Never Say Goodbye Until You're Gone

I’ll try to remember that. With all of the response I got to the wave of my handkerchief to the people on shore, I realized I might have said different things and said them differently. So, I’m going to say goodbye one more time while inviting you to visit me somewhere else.

I’m still going to be writing my esoteric blog- starting up again this Monday. It’s at

Visible Origami

I don’t live in this world much so I don’t like writing about it. It’s not my world. I live in the Devic Realm (when they let me) and wherever the ship of mind might take me.

I just don’t want to write about politics and the swirling darkness of the world. It makes me feel like a crime reporter- which maybe I am in part; witness the re-release of my novel- The Dark Splendor, located here

The Dark Splendor

It’s an occult thriller with some fair amount of crime; sort of Siddhartha and Hannibal Lecter taking a walk to grandmother’s house. But we don’t always have to act on the things we might have a potential for

And I do music

Songwriter

911 was an Inside Job

Social Critic

So, if you want to know what I’m doing you can check in at those locations; I think anyone who likes a good thriller and is interested in the magical end of things, as they REALLY DO apply to the world we live in, will like the book.

I’m putting this out here because I was knocked back by all the heartfelt letters and comments here at this site. We might even get together, you and I, one of these days, somewhere in Europe, or... anywhere but the US- so, if that sort of thing intrigues you let’s take this formerly unknown relationship and see if it doesn’t find us- via satellite hookup- having a drink on my terrace one of these days.

Dark days are coming and I plan on watching it through field glasses from a less visible location, nestled in among the grasses of a high, yellowed hill- surf pounding below and the sound of guns thundering on the turf above Watership Down. But I’m not negative; I’ve just seen this before. I’ve seen it in history books and other lifetimes and I know it has to run its course. You get enough stupid people together and the results are predictable. It’s a fait accompli when the leaders are stupid too.

It was a spine trembler for me to find how similar our thoughts are. To quote Mowgli from The Jungle Book; “we be of one blood, you and I.” I’m a Utopian in a world of Dystopia. Some of you are too.

Whether I’m here and you’re there- or whether there really is only one mind, or whether it’s just a bunch of meat puppets with 'real' separate identities is not something I want to argue about. I don’t like arguing anyway. It usually means you have missed the point. And what the point is... is not a possibility for discussion. To discuss it you have to step outside of it; then you’ve missed the point.

I want to thank all of you for having supported my efforts to write here- for giving me the sense that honesty and intelligence haven’t altogether disappeared. I want to thank you for making me feel like I missed something for never having met you. I don’t ever feel alone because I never am alone; something I won’t get into here- but, in the commonly understood sense, I am probably more alone more often than anyone I know and it makes my day to know that you are out there and that we collectively and independently work on the same ideal of liberty and universal justice... in the way we think and act and in whatever private moments of faith and endurance we may experience... and not be found wanting.

This last week has been great and I believe that what I have heard, since I said I was leaving off on this site, has played no small part in that.

I make some people’s skin crawl. It’s nice to know it’s not the only effect I have.

It may be darker than an empty closet in Cheney’s head right now but I’m watching the sky get light in the East. So are you. While we are metaphorically huddled (wherever that may be) around some fifty gallon drum full of burning rubbish- rubbing our hands together and maybe catching each others eyes now and again, shrugging and smiling too, with the knowledge that, at least, we’re not going to wind up in a much larger barrel full of flames... well... it’s got to feel good.

I remember a scene in the Lord of the Rings (the book, not the movie), where Bilbo is saying to Frodo something about how you got to watch yourself, because the road that runs in front of his door runs everywhere, even to the gates of Mordor; how the road can just sweep you up... and so on and so on.

Probably shouldn’t have written this. I’ll never be able to say what I want to say. The good part is that you know what I mean, so... I’ll leave this as my parting shot here.

It’s a long road timewise; distance wise it may be no distance at all, but time and experience-wise, it’s a long road. Everything is under control and everything works out. I don’t want to sling shit; be filled with righteous anger, exercise my inner Savonarola, or be any kind of a social reformer/failed painter who wound up well down that road somewhere. I want to gladden the space I’m in and learn better how to do that.

You’ve reaffirmed my faith in humanity AND my faith in myself. I want you to remember that we may well meet further on down or up this road and that that is something we can each look forward to.

It feels better to have written this. I’ll leave you with a song that I think is a fitting expression of what I was really trying to say and with the hope that we’ll stay in touch or one day meet on the banks of the mighty Serendipity where there won’t be a dry eye in the house. God bless you all.

Visible sings: ♫ Down The Roads ♫
About this song (pops up)
Les Visible

The Long Sayonara From the Burning Bridge

I’ve taken some time and given a lot of thought to this, after all, it’s my last commentary here and it should reflect my real intent and it should explain... is explanation possible?

I think Christ was asked a question by Pilate near the end. It had something to do with truth. All I can remember is; “What is truth?” Maybe I got that wrong too. You see, when you are trying to express the inexpressible within the limitation of words you will invariably wind up chewing on your own tail.

I’m not a political person. It takes a world in extremity to provoke me into this arena. But the world is always on the verge isn’t it? We’ve had plenty of bad leaders and stupid followers. It just goes on and on. If I had the power you would see a replica of the French Revolution in America with Madame Guillotine. I would have justice and I know who and why. But this isn’t my world and I’m not God; lucky for some, very lucky- because I would have you gone and with awesome ignominy and public display.

I don’t have to work anymore and I don’t have to live in the United States. I was poor all my life except for the wealth of what I believed in. That wealth supports me now and no one can take it away. I don’t have a country. I don’t have a creed, unless it is to do no harm. I don’t own a cellphone and I don’t have an address. I live where people have lived in sameness for generations. You would find it very boring. I have my imagination and so I am not here very much, regardless of appearances to the contrary.

I’ve got a beautiful companion- far more beautiful than I deserve, who loves me and makes me look good, should anyone be looking- some small dogs and an inviolability that not even the gangster George Bush and his crime family can't challenge. More than anything I weep for you; the clueless, the foolish, the greedy, the ambitious, the worldly, the self-satisfied. I know where your path leads and I am not going with you.

It doesn’t serve my purposes to be on about the injustices of this world. I have no plans for staying here. I don’t even know how I got here. All I can think about is how I wish to be somewhere else, far away from the dreams of mortal appetite. I never wanted any of this shit. I never liked it here. I never understood it and it never understood me. I left America because I would be in Guantanamo now if I had not left. Unlike you, I wouldn’t permit this. I would have been my own insurrection. But I can’t get them all. Sometimes it is just a generation of vipers- that’s all it is- nothing you can do.

I don’t get a world that thinks Angelina Jolie and Paris Hilton represent intelligence. I don’t get their talent. Is it just that thing between their legs? I’ve never found that to be a hard place to get to, you just have to be hard to get there; all this self-serving bullshit, all these talking heads, all these whores. Madonna is pissed at Brittany because she isn’t wallowing in the shake and bake production of a timeless wisdom that she has neither the intelligence nor the virtue to understand. So now this aging vampire wants to hang with Lindsey Lohan who I wouldn’t even fuck with your dick? It’s all shill and hype and desperate masquerade. It’s all lies and it’s all the same. Madonna and the rest are the hands behind the deaths in Iraq and everywhere else.

It isn’t soldiers and insurgents doing the killing. They are just hands. It’s men in suits. It’s bankers and entertainment figures and news-shaping snakes who go to dungeon clubs and have their asses whipped bloody because they can no longer feel anything. It’s the sort of people who need children for unwilling sex partners; a specialty of George Bush Senior.

Why do your leaders all walk the line? Blackmail... baby. There is so much you don’t know and even more I hope you never do. I am an honest man. I don’t say something unless I am already more than convinced. I say “I don’t know”. Being who I am- which we won’t get into here- people tell me things and they show me things. I should add that I find out a great many things simply because I am relentless about the truth. I don’t care if the truth inconveniences me. I don’t care if it exposes me. I just want it.

There was a time I enjoyed writing here. I can assure you I meant every word. I’ve written a lot of places. In some places I was hounded off the stage by people who do own cellphones and who spray their private places with cheap cosmetics with the understanding that it tastes good- or possibly covers up what does not. I know what it’s like to be lied about with the impossibility of defense because the truth is not important- only the agenda. Still, I don’t regret a bit of it. When the whole deal comes down I am not on shaky ground. But you see, it just goes on and on and on. It’s more tawdry and superficial and mindless and stupid right now, true- but it’s always some bullshit variant. It’s always some costume over the naked body of the truth. As I have said before, when the truth takes off her clothes, the world disappears.

I’m not going to do this any more because it isn’t my job. I’m a poet and a dreamer. I live in another world. This is not my world. If I hadn’t cared too much for my own good I would never have let YOUR problems be MY problems because.... They aren’t. I can’t help you. I cannot divorce myself from the plight of the Palestinians and the smear campaigns against them. That is my conundrum. I can’t watch something like “Shooting Dogs” and not break down and cry. I can’t watch punks like George Bush and Karl Rove and Ann Coulter and not wish I had five minutes with them. Unlike them I can fight and I’m not afraid to. I despise cowards and rats. I despise liars for personal gain. Maybe prison did it to me. Maybe my father did it to me. After you have had the shit beat out of you every day of your life until you left home, by a 6’ 4” 240 pound Master Sergeant you either learn to fight or you never leave home.

I’m lean and I’m healthy and I don’t fear the dark. I know what lives inside me and it has been tested against the worst that this world and even darker places can throw at it. I have faced my demons and I can now call them friends. Nothing can touch me any more. I live by grace. Surely there is something to that. I don’t want to be another angry voice. I did that a few centuries ago in France. I don’t have to do it again. I want to make beautiful music. I want angels in the chorus. I want what I have and no more beyond the certainty of my eventual release from this drama of sold out soap artistes, vain poseurs; materialists all. Headlines don’t make you a star. Performance is all that counts and it never gets addressed until you are gone.

I really did appreciate all the great comments and support I got. It was a surprise, given what I have received in other places. But it’s not enough to keep doing it. Eventually you have said it all enough times to have said it all. If you miss it then read the archives. I don’t want to comment on your world anymore. I don’t live there.

I can tell you this. Strive hard. If you want the truth- enlightenment- serenity- peace; anything you can imagine, including a Starbucks ass-widener with no nutritional value- you can have it. You just have to want it bad enough. I’ve found mine. You go find yours.

I'd like to thank What Really Happened for having linked me so many times. If you want to know about your world then go there.

Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk.

Greetings and apologies to all of you who wrote wondering what happened to me. I went traveling in Italy and left the internet for awhile. I recommend it to clean the pipes. Sometimes the avalanche of crap can leave your system feeling like an impacted colon after awhile. The letters of support and inquiry were wonderful to read on my return. Thank you very much.

Whew! I’ve just finished reading up at the only site I rely on for my news. I’ll not mention the site because everyone who reads here knows what it is and no doubt has the same unshakeable dependence on it that I do.

You always think there’s got to be a bottom to it. You think that somewhere down there in the cosmic latrine there’s some sort of bedrock; some sort of location where eyeless, deep murk coprophagial creatures feed and mate- probably at the same time... but maybe there is no bottom. The bad actors get worse. The stupidity of the public reveals itself to be denser than I ever imagined. The media lies ever more flagrantly. The leaders are followers of something that has lost its way. How far can it go before the outer level of all possible absurdity has been passed? Will Bush’s polls drop below 24%? (hint; they did that awhile ago- the pollsters keep two sets of books, just like everyone in this administration.) The big question though, the really big question is ‘when’ is the coming major terror attack going to happen? There’s no ‘if’. There’s only 'when'.

In this world there are two distinct groups of people. You can subdivide if you like. You can use different words to describe the same condition but there are basically two groups. One of them is rational and one is not. One has its eyes open by varying degrees and one has its eyes closed. One is aware and one is deluded. The tragedy is that one group is so much smaller than the other and it is the wrong one; if that makes sense.

I’m going to speak to the first group. There isn’t any point in speaking to the second group. It would be similar to giving a speech to blind people while nude; using charts and diagrams. Members of the elite club of those who are in the business of irrigating the shit out of their ears, lend me your ears. Certainly I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him- but here is no Caesar. Here is a drunken monkey of a ringmaster in a crypto-fascist theme park where once a country stood.

Somewhere between now and November 3rd something very terrible is going to happen and it is going to be blamed on Iran. Members of the first group are all aware of this. Members of the 1st group know that this administration was involved in the 9/11 attacks. Their ability to perform this act leaves no doubt in our minds of their willingness and capacity to do it again. And they need it now like they never needed it before. Voter fraud is going to be a whole lot harder this time. I’m not saying that the general public is not stupid enough to believe and accept anything. I’m past the point of under-estimating how thick these folk can be. But I believe that any attempt in this direction, this time, will set off a hue and cry that is an unacceptable risk; an unnecessary risk when a dirty bomb hitting the Chicago winds from the top of the Sears Tower- or something for Toronto or Paris will do the job just fine. Then they can shape the reality with bombast and bullshit enough to justify whatever they intend.

They could get caught. There is historical precedent. I am hopeful. I have to be hopeful. I do believe that there is a force that shapes our ends and often the machinations of the sly and clever plotters of evil are mysteriously woven to their final disadvantage. A Spanish Armada sort of a day would be just great. What I believe about what lies in the unknown is a private affair and something I do not use in my arguments here. What will be will be because it always is; my deep respect and appreciation to all of you who labor on behalf of humanity in these dark times. You may feel like an ant in a hurricane but we are capable of great things, especially when we are united in a common cause; be we ever so few.

So, maybe we get lucky and something goes wrong for these vicious, low to the ground blood-sucking weasels. If not, it’s going to be a very interesting year.

Arrogance is a funny thing. When you’re riding at the helm of massive temporal force it’s possible to reach levels of insanity that are astounding. You get presidents who aren’t qualified to manage a McDonald's who can announce that the most satisfying achievement of their presidency was catching a fish. You get a whole boatload of retainers and hangers on who believe they can get away with anything and that no lie is too outrageous or transparent to be believed. I have never seen anything like these people. I’ve seen presidents and administrations come and go. I was ring side for Nixon and Reagan. These cats are way past that. It’s the difference between bank robbery and felony murder. Whatever the result is going to be; whether they pull it off or whether they get caught, it’s going to be the biggest spectacle of them all. In the fog of confusion and mis-direction and disinfo the edge of the precipice cannot be seen. I assure you it is very close in a global way.

Go to the wide angle lens and look at the playing field. Look at Russia and China lining up. Look at the financial factors. Look at all of the intricate forces pressing against the center and bending the margins. It’s as scary and fascinating as anything that ever was. This is truly ‘shit or go blind’ time. Irony and absurdity are center stage, drunk and deranged and predictably they are calling for “madder music and stronger wine.” But I am hopeful.

Kenny Lay is going down. Karl Rove is in trouble deep. All around pieces are falling off the wagon. Zionism is on the ropes. Even the pissed off Barbie, Ann Coulter, is in the squeeze. The new PR and media game has switched to 'soothing with a taste of mea culpa'. They’re piping Easy Listening in over the speaker system while the theater burns. You can see it if you look. But I am hopeful. What I don’t know is whether it gets stopped at the edge or whether it gets better after everything hits the rocks below. But it will get better. You have to believe that and you have to work to that result. It may be a grim aftermath. Maybe the only way the masses can wake up is to be flame-broiled in their seats. I don’t want to bring religion into the mix- I’ve got no use for religion but I’d like to leave you with a quote (I’ll have to paraphrase) from Mikhail Aivanhov- it is fitting.

“When a people have gone astray, God (or destiny- of whatever you may call that inexplicable hand of the unknown) reaches down and gently taps them of the shoulder. If they do not respond, then God shakes them by the shoulder. If they still do not respond, then God picks up a two-by-four.”

Never has it been so important to keep your eyes and ears open. For those of you who are listening and watching, I advise turning up the intensity. It is my fervent hope that you will also do whatever is possible for you to do to disseminate the truth and expose the bullshit. If there ever was a time when the time is now then the time is now. But by all means be hopeful. With a little luck and a little grace I’ll see you on the other side of this. Be well.